MILES to GO || before I sleep

So rather than wail about all the Post-Its I have lying around with things to do, my near-empty Listography book, and the things I wish were working out, instead, a list of things I've accomplished today, big and small:

* Read a lot of emails and deleted the ones I don't need (have several thousand to go, but boo hoo)

* Heard back from both Adobe and JourneyEd regarding CS5: I have to spend $449 if I want it, because I don't qualify for the post-announce free upgrade, and there's no discount for an "upgrade" version of Design Premium from CS4 to CS5. So that, plus a camera are now on my Wish List.

* Got approved for the "In Plain Sight" - Mary x Marshall fanlisting - now I just need a name for it! YAY!?

* May be on the waiting list for a focus group and put my name out there for another one; they pay well and don't take long, so why not?

* Put the dishes away

* Registered for the NSCS Region 5 Summit in Seattle, WA on July 6th and 7th. It's my last conference as an NLC member (well, a "retiring" NLC member)!

* Am researching travel options for getting up to Seattle, esp. so soon after cousin Erin's wedding in Los Angeles on the 4th. Virgin America and Southwest are looking the cheapest, since the Amtrak Coast Starlight just doesn't mesh with my needed arrival and departure times. (Also: Anime Expo from July 1-4! So 1-3 = Anime Expo, 4 = Wedding + Fireworks, 5 = ? 6-7 = Seattle! Talk about a packed schedule for one week!)

* Also researching potential post-graduation travel options. Should I go down to San Diego after my orthodontist's appointment, and then head back up with Aunt Joyce in time for the bridal shower, or hang out in North Hills with cousin Jill and fam for a few days and meet up with Joyce on the day of the shower? Train ticket to S.D. would cost me $30-32, but it's more like "What the heck would I do down there?" and "Would I be intruding?" I suppose I should ask at least, so I have the option open, right?

* Got a huge scene done in the revision of Only 16, Chapter 2: A Look Back, which starts the flashbacks that reveal more about Serenity and Endymion's past. I'm contemplating deleting those from Endymion's point of view altogether, since Only 16 really is Serena's story, and even if Darien DOES remember his past completely and is just hiding it from Serena, why give him THAT much screen time? Isn't it more suspenseful having you wonder how things are really going from his end? I've only gone into his POV a few times in the revision so far, and never very deeply. But re-reading Lilac Summers' "First Truths" has made it a lot easier to 'ship them again (*shock!*).

* Updated WikiFic to 1.15.3, and added the much-debated lyrics of "Ahead of the Game." Mass consensus agrees that the garbled lyrics in the second verse are "My liquidity, giant balance sheet. All my secrets, Hey! I'll even cheat." Though how "I'll even cheat" makes sense when Kaiba (whose image song this is) is bragging about how much smarter, more creative, etc. he is than his opponent, isn't cheating making him look worse, not better? I personally think he should have said "I won't even cheat," as if he's restraining himself from cheating just to get a horrible duel over with. What do you think?

* Got started on my graduation announcements--the paper ones. A few family members left to get addresses for and send out, and then...have to figure out the rest. *bats eyelashes* Can YOU come?

MOAR LEFT:
* Dabble in revisions and/or additions to the following fics: Aftermath of Angels (FF8 x YGO), You and Me (body-swap YGO Azureship fic; thanks a lot for reminding me, mischiefmagnet!)
* Story-So-Far comparison of the book Paprika to the movie
* Revisions to previous chapters of WDKY + uploading to all the usual suspect sites -- someone on AnimeXX.de asked me if they could do a German translation of the fic! I can't read German to save my life, so should I say yes and just pray they do a decent job, or say no because I'd never be able to understand it?

So I had a really weird dream that I just woke up from. While with some dreams, you can tell that things you've seen or done play a role in how the dream ends up, I can honestly say I have no idea where this dream came from.

( Well first there was a vacuum... )

I have a very strange brain.

Thirteen years ago today, my older half-sister Michelle Smith died.

By this time thirteen years ago, I, at 11 years old, was back here in San Francisco from what was supposed to be a fun weekend trip up to Petaluma with my Dad. It's hard to remember the specifics, but I know we went somewhere, and when we returned to the house and listened to the messages on the answering machine, the only thing distinct was my mom's voice, shouting and crying hysterically.

My dad asked his then-girlfriend to usher me out of the room while he listened to the message again to try and make sense of it. I went outside and played Patty-Cake with his girlfriend. I had no idea what was going on. I was worried about by mom, but for some reason, the thought of something truly terrible having happened did not --could not-- cross my mind.

A few minutes later, my dad brought me down and sat me on the white textured couch we had. White couches are a stupid thing to own. If you do own them, they're more of a statement than a functional piece of furniture. They'll always get dirty, even without an 11 year old and a dog in the house. (For the record, if you're stringent about cleaning and don't have those plastic covers over every piece of furniture, then I guess it's fine. Needless to say, my dad isn't either of those types, then or now.)

Anyway, my dad told me first that Michelle had been in an accident. The first thing that popped into my head was a rather steep hill covered in ivy not that far from our house. It's right beside the Rose Garden, and I knew my sister liked to ride her bike through there. I always thought it was dark and winding and scary. My 11 year old-self thought that there were bears and lions in Golden Gate Park, and that you were more likely to see them in places like that than up in the pretty rose garden. I imagined that she'd been biking on the crest of that hill and fell down, broke her ankle. I seem to remember stories of her having broken her leg or ankle before, so in my mind, it wouldn't have been the first time.

I don't remember if I asked if she'd just broken her ankle. I don't remember if I'd asked anything, doubting and scared, or naive and laughing. My insides were probably like Jello, just quivering, unable to stop.

I do remember being in the back seat of the car, stuck in traffic on the way back to San Francisco. I'd wanted a fun weekend in Petaluma, and now I had to go home. But I was worried about mom, freaked out about Michelle: I'd just had a fight with her about my Dad not long before I'd left, and I felt weird about going back home and having to "face" that, so to speak. I was thinking of how weird it would be, my mom and my dad and his girlfriend in the same room.

The next thing I remember, I was walking back up the stairs to my mom's house, to the dining room. It didn't look too much different from how it looks today. I remember my mom sitting at the head of the table on the left, her back to the piano my sister used to play all the time. She'd recently gotten more interested in the acoustic guitar, though. Besides, the piano was always out of tune, and Michelle was more interested in becoming a filmmaker than a pianist.

I remember the house being filled with cops. I got scared. I felt cold. I think it was then, seeing all the strangers in my house, my mom looking completely broken at the head of the table, shouting or crying or both, that I realized something was really wrong.

I don't really remember much about the next several days. There was a visit to the hospital. I'm not sure if it was for my mom to identify Michelle's body or to arrange for her to be sent to a mortuary or what. I didn't get to see anything. It was probably for the best, though seeing her at the funeral probably wouldn't have been much better.

There was a story that I heard in bits and pieces: Michelle had been out hiking with her friend Rayanna (not even sure if I'm spelling it right; we haven't heard from her since then) at Land's End, a stub of land not too far from Ocean Beach. Back then, it wasn't closed off, but everyone knew you weren't supposed to be over there. There were no fences, no railing, no anything. Just dry grass, dirt, rocks, and the ocean 200 feet below. Michelle and Rayanna weren't part of any sort of hiking expedition. There were no trail leaders or expert backpackers or anything like that. No equipment. I don't even think there were cell phones back then, at least not that Michelle or Rayanna would have owned.

Michelle fell.

I think I was told that death was immediate, that she wasn't in any pain. I kind of doubt that, nowadays. Part of me wants to believe it, of course, but it also hurts to think that she didn't --couldn't-- think of her family in her last moments. If she had, I wonder, would she have thought of how awful I was to still have a father when she didn't? Did she still think I was the worst bratty little sister ever, or would she miss me? I'll never know. It's one thing to tell yourself something to make yourself feel better, but the truth is something else altogether. They're not always the same.

Over the years, I've been to what I thought was Land's End a few times. Most of the time, I've been wrong. I went to the caves near the old Sutro Baths ruins, thinking that was Land's End because my dad told me that it was the "closest I'd ever get to it." I remember seeing people that had climbed over the rusty, single-bar railing sitting up on the rocks, wanting to yell at them because no matter how immortal or careful they were, my SISTER had died there. Were they even thinking of their family or friends in that moment?

There was another place, just past Point Lobos, higher up and surrounded by trees. It was a high cliff with a rocky beach below it, remnants of the Sutro Baths and the war cannon installations here and there. Some people had a tendency of making dirt circles and things like that up there. I kept wanting to see a symbol in them, a message from Michelle to me. Something.

I think this past spring was when I really saw Land's End. There was a sign there that mentioned Painted Rock and Land's End, talking about how dangerous it was and how people had died. Once, I think I wrote (or maybe I was tempted to write, I can't remember) "My sister was one of them!" on that sign. People still went right over the stupid rope fence and walked to take pictures of the stunning view of the ocean and the bay, the Golden Gate Bridge to the right and Marin County to the left. You could hear the fog horn, hear ships coming into port.

There wasn't enough room for more than two people to walk up there at a time, but there were still lots of people there. I wanted to yell at them too, but I was too choked up: angry at them, angry at myself, angry at the world. This spring, I went to the real Land's End alone.

Before, I'd been with other people. Some of those people I brought because I felt they needed to know the truth, the "me" that still was struggling with her half-sister/only sister/only sibling's death. Some of them I brought for purely selfish reasons, because I wanted comfort. I know I used them, and it was wrong, but my story and my feelings at that place have never been anything but the truth. I still think that it's hard for people who haven't really experienced death so close to them to know what I went through. They can just hug you or pat you on the back or say "I'm sorry," and that's all they can do.

For each person, what they need during that time is different. For me, I didn't know what I needed for myself. I decided to be the rock for my mom. Other people reacted to my reaction. The only person I remember being there "for me" explicitly was Christopher Garcia. He'd been a friend of mine at our after school program, Claire Lillienthal.

By the time summer ended, I already felt like it was the "Year of Hell." I didn't hold very high hopes for the remaining five or so months of the year. Having a transition like that, from elementary school to middle school meant that I changed a lot. I was a bitch in middle school. It could have been a lot better. I could have been a lot more mature. But I'd been through hell, and I didn't think anyone else could understand. No one really seemed to be genuinely trying, anyway. At that age, how can you? I'd hoped Chris Garcia would have given it more of a shot, but he chose popularity over me. That was a bit like twisting the knife already stuck in my chest.

He moved away before high school started. I remember seeing him on graduation. We didn't speak to each other, but I desperately wanted to. Years later, when I was working at AMC Theatres on Van Ness, he came to see a movie with a friend. I was so dead-tired that I thought I was dreaming. I didn't think to beg my supervisor to ask for my 15 minute break then, even though there was a line starting to wind throughout the lobby. He checked out the list of shows and couldn't find anything interesting, but he came up to my window in the box office, grabbed my hands through the window, and told me he was sorry for everything he'd done in middle school. He said he was a Marine now. I didn't stop to think for his phone number, his email, where he was stationed, anything.

I can honestly say he was the first boy I was ever truly in love with, and while that might have been a misplaced love due to the death of my sister, I'll always cherish what he did for me. Part of me still wants to see him again, if just to hug him for a good five minutes straight.

I made a lot of enemies in middle school, but a lot of lifelong friends, too. For those that stuck by me and have understood, that have come to know the truth since then, thank you. I hope we'll have thirteen and more years together.

This is my sister. I miss her very much.

Well, back in L.A. from San Diego. Thanksgiving was nice-- delicious food, got to meet (and hold!) baby Eva, play some games with the cousins (needed David's help to beat Lemmy's castle #3 in Super Mario World...), and went shopping with Dad. No big huge drama that I was a part of or witness to, so I'd say it was a fairly successful adventure. Yesterday Dad DID get a little teed off that I wasn't back at the hotel when I said I would be, but that was because the bus from Scott's place was super-late! Not my fault-- we looked at the bus schedule and everything!

It was WONDERFUL having my own room. When I stayed one night at Dad's in Alameda before we left to L.A. on the way here, I had to suffer through his snoring. He woke me up and then KEPT me up with his snoring. To make matters worse, the next morning when he woke up, he said something to me that I barely remember-- I was so exhausted. So of course as soon as he left and it was all silent again, I fell back asleep! Dad came back and was furious that I hadn't done anything he had told me to do, and he didn't believe me when I said he snored and I fell asleep because I was so exhausted from not sleeping all night because of it! I think now he does (Baba and Grandpa said he did too, because he fell asleep at Fred's yesterday), but that doesn't mean he's going to do anything about it. -_- So yeah, it's always nice to have my own space. I don't like snorers. Sorry.

There were little annoyances here and there, but nothing HUUUGE. I'll get into it in another post. Right now, I'm actually kind of eager to get back to S.F., even if I have a workload ahead of me:
* Study for the next Biology quiz due Tuesday
* Study for the big exam tomorrow for my Women's Studies class
* Start writing my papers for my Outdoor Recreation class
* Hope that my Geology teacher gets back to me re: the 3rd assignment, because the CD that said assignment is on has mixed-up maps, and we can't complete the assignment without knowing which maps we're supposed to look at.

Some cool stuff I picked up in SD (most of it gifts):
* Yu-Gi-Oh Vocal Duel
* Yu-Gi-Oh Sound Duel I
* Sarah McLachlan's "Wintersong"
* Mannheim Steamroller's "Christmas Celebration"
* Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "The Lost Christmas Eve" (it was a tough choice; there were 2 other CDs by them I wanted at Target that I didn't get, so I limited myself to one album from each artist I liked)
* "The Tipping Point" (book)
* "How To Read Literature Like A Professor" (book)
* A new sweater + turtleneck (one $20, one free!)
* Clinique's "Black Honey" almost-lipstick
* Some more Clinique Moisturizing Gel
* "The Greatest-Ever Jewish Cooking" (book) --anyone in S.F., wanna come over and be my guinea pig as I attempt to discover my Jewish heritage through food?

Right now I'm just waiting for Dad to come back from breakfast with his buddy Steve (and hopefully remember to bring me the Raisin French Toast I requested). I think I'm going to play me some Super Mario World now, though... I love the Forest of Illusion!

Greetings from... Santa Cruz, CA. Incidentally, the day I came to S.F., I completely spaced about having a Biology quiz, so I missed it. I'd already gotten one extension from when I got mugged and I knew the professor wouldn't give me another, so... argh. It's not as if it'll be a big dink to my grade provided I keep up with everything else, but it's not as if keeping up is EASY. We're well into the "tough stuff" of this "basic" biology class.

Anyway, I'm in Santa Cruz because, like forgetting my biology quiz, I also forgot that my cousin Brooke's baby shower was THIS WEEKEND rather than "the 7th," which is Tuesday. Because Brooke and Shaina are driving down to Fresno (where the shower is located, at their mom's house) on Friday morning, I had to meet Brooke here in SC *today.* So I took a bus downtown, a Muni train to the Embarcadero, the BART train from the Embarcadero to Fremont, a bus from Fremont to San Jose, and then another bus from San Jose to Santa Cruz. I stuffed myself with 3 horribly unhealthy tacos from taco bell and stared at all the pretty shiny books at the Borders I met Brooke's hubby, Honis (aka Mike) at.

And so here I've been at their place pretty much ever since, studying my geology (which I've been slacking on; I've already taken 2 quizzes but have 5 more due within the next 24 hours; 4 of those are probably fairly easy, but only if I do the reading and make an effort to concentrate and take notes). We did go out for a quick bite at this homey diner called Jeffrey's and talked family, jobs, and the evil brainwashing that is Disney.

We have to wake up at an ungodly hour of the morning tomorrow to head to Shaina's, but she's the one who's going to be driving, so Brooke and I can conk out while we drive to Fresno and do who-knows-what while we're there a full day before the actual shower. I know in my case I have to stay awake and STUDY, sucky as that is. Actually, what's truly sucky is I'm more or less relegated to sitting at some table near an outlet, because my MacBook Pro has been suspiciously sucking with keeping its charge. A few days ago, I noticed that, even after it was supposedly fully charged, it only had a life of 40-55 minutes, rather than a good hour and a half or more like it used to have. I got the iStat Pro widget, and it says that even though my battery's "fully charged," it's at 97%, not 100% (or even 99%), and the "battery health" is at a dismal 45% (it was at 38% at my mom's house). I don't really know what's going on or why; I tried the SMC reset, but it didn't seem to help. I'm really worried...

Staying at my mom's house is a bit awkward this time around; rather than staying in the "Tovstin," aka what used to be my room and is now Gary's study/bedroom (he never sleeps in there though), I stayed in my mom's room. Bigger bed, but... er, not as comfortable. Maybe it's me and my picky back (destroyed by Disney), but I couldn't lay flat on that bed. The only way I could sleep (and not even comfortably, because I kept tossing and turning all night, and woke up with the comforter all haphazard) was on my side. Staying in the Tovstin would mean "inconveniencing" Gary, because his closet is in there, and unlike my mom, who's on her leave, he still has to work everyday and access his clothes. And I've seen the closet in my mom's room, there's just no way Gary's stuff'll fit in there. -_-

So, it looks like when I go back on Sunday I'll be sleeping in the living room on the couch. Awwwwkward.

Speaking of awkward, did anyone catch the vice presidential debate tonight? Things I found amusing, somewhat sad (read: pathetic), and kind of weird:
* Joe Biden referring to himself by name, rather than with a proper pronoun such as "I" or "me" or derivatives thereof
* Sarah Palin being kind of "cutesy" and saying stuff like "you betcha" and "darn right" (don't get me wrong, some people think that her speaking to the "average American" and coming across like a "soccer mom" is a good thing, but I think it made her sound very unprofessional and most definitely un-vice presidential-like)
* Sarah Palin saying "um" a lot (no, really, she did. If you re-watch the debates, you'll notice she said it OFTEN. Speech coach, much?)
* Joe Biden looked like he had an eye lift
* Sarah Palin looked like she had Botox (cheeks!)

I guess what it boils down to is, are vice presidential debates supposed to be about the candidates selling their running mate, or about THEIR personal opinions, policies and actions should THEY get elected into the office of VP? Maybe I'm mistaken for having thought it should be the latter, but the bulk of the debate came off as "Obama this" and "McCain that," and I was like "Yeah, but what do YOU think?" I know that Biden wouldn't be Obama's running mate if they didn't agree on a lot and share the same policies, nor would McCain have Palin if they didn't agree on at least some fundamentals (they at least have some more clear-cut differences though, which is interesting... sadly, for other things, she's more or less his parrot, and can't talk about her opinions because she doesn't have the knowledge to have formed any substantive ones).

The thing that pisses me off about both candidates: they agree that gays should have the same rights as committed heterosexual couples (read: a man "married" to a woman), but they refuse to redefine the word "marriage" outside of the traditional "man" and "woman" sense. This is bullshit. It's a WORD, you nimrods, it has nothing to do with politics, ethics, the Constitution, etc. You don't OWN a word. You don't get to say who uses it and how. The more you say a group can't/shouldn't use a word, or the more you use a word in a derogatory sense, the more people will rise up and do just the opposite: they'll use the word, and they'll use it to empower themselves! (See: Nigga, Queer, Colored). It just sounds ridiculous, the thought of a governmental body saying "this word is going to mean THIS in our country" even if it has a different or more general meaning elsewhere. Of course, definitions in general are subject to societal standards and values, as I'm sure is apparent from other words throughout the centuries, but to get everyone's knickers in a knot over the use of the WORD "marriage" just seems a waste of energy.

For me: marriage is the sealing of a lifetime commitment between two PEOPLE, regardless of gender. This allows them to be listed on each others' insurance, have visitation rights in hospitals, adopt a child (or children), have shared property rights, joint bank accounts, etc. Sure, politicians can say that a "civil union" between gays should have all these rights, but then why not just call it what it is: A MARRIAGE? Why is it "necessary" to create a different word, process, paperwork, etc. just because X couple is gay but Y couple isn't? That's hardly equal rights when there's a simple snit over WORD USAGE, of all things!

*sigh* I need to get to bed. My brain is fried.

( Click here to see! )

Well, I up and joined FanLib. -_- They don't accept HTML submissions (right now). Considering I type ALL my fics in HTML, this is a big MINUS for them. I could copy and paste my text from Dreamweaver into their cute WYSIWYG box, but then I'd have to go through and re-do all the bolding, italicizing, and horizontal ruling. Very annoying. Now, if I could copy-paste the HTML and it would auto-convert, that'd kick ass. I refuse to have multiple copies of all my fics (e.g. one HTML and one RTF or whatever) on my computer just for one site, though. If all the other modern fic archives can accept HTML, why the hell can't FanLib? Grr.

I'm also... oh, maybe 75% done with WDKY26. I've been working on it off and on for a while now, and it's the start of the arc I've been itching to write for a while. But even though I've been itching to write it, translating the ideas I have (my outline-- I always make outlines for every chapter, my "planner") into halfway decent prose is hard.
What makes it even more difficult is, I'm recalling the advice I had for students today at Grover Cleveland High, where I tutor a 10th grade English class... sure, essays =/= fanfiction, but many of them asked me to look over their reflective essays/short stories/autobiographical narratives, which all have the element of a "voice" in it that could easily be a fictional person. Then there's my own sense of what makes a good fic and what doesn't-- my own recent complaints about a fic. It'd suck if my own complaints applied to MY fic, so I'm trying to see the weak spots and redo them somehow, before I get the temptation to just "do it [the scene] and get it over with!" and never look back.

That said, I'm thinking a beta/brainstorming session is in order. Anyone with some free time on their hands? (I don't know about you, but I have a three day weekend. I might be going to Fresno for my cousin Shaina's wedding shower, but I still plan on writing every spare moment I can. I have a LOT of writing to do, and WDKY acts as both practice and escapism from that.)

I would make like Happosai and go "what a haul! what a haul!" but my haul this year was meager but meaningful-- just the way I like it. From Gary, I got some gelt (and if you don't know what that means, go look it up in a Yiddish dictionary); from Mom I got a new black iHome iPod dock/radio with alarm, along with a $25 Macy*s gift card. Rochelle also gave me a $25 gift card; Eva got me "Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End" on the 2-disc DVD edition (YAYZ!). Though I don't think it counted as a Hanukkah present, Dad also gave me V for Vendetta, and I bought myself the Anastasia (remember that lovely animated film by Fox? Wow, John Cusak ~_~) Family Fun Edition.

Yesterday, azhp and I made my traditional Spritz cookies, so those of you in the Yay Area who want some, better call your dibs now! (This is being awfully egotistical, isn't it? But I'd like to think everyone's liked them over the years; I know I do.) Speaking of cookies, the Jays (the family that owns the flat Mom & Gary live in) gave us some delicious... well, they TASTE like cookies, but they look like brownies. And they're delicious! :D I'm eating a chocolate chip one, now.

I've still got gifts of my own to give out, but so far, it's been a nice holiday-- fun, productive, and not overly emotional. Heck, I even managed to get the Christmas tree up and decorated last night-- what a relief, considering this year, it seemed like it wouldn't happen (again), but this time due to laziness/too much furniture blocking the way/whatever, instead of Mom-is-a-Grinch. This year it only took her a day or so to get into the mood, and she hasn't been a Grinch since. Yay for that.

Also:
-Seems a lot of my cousins are going to be in Northridge when I go back on Thursday. And Scott's coming in the evening and staying the night so we can hang out Friday... o_o I'm hoping it doesn't somehow end up awkward in any way. (Knowing me, I've probably already jinxed it.)

-Dad made it to Northridge okay. Another day, another adventure. I wonder what we'll be doing for the time he stays?

-Managed to edit up an image for a Dragonfayth Xmas skin. Now I need to make something for New Year's. But the skins only display on the holidays, so anyone looking at Dragonfayth today, 12/25, tell me what you think! Sure, I can't claim credit for the Seto x Anzu art (that goes to lin_ko), nor the skin base design itself (that goes to Kali), but I mashed it altogether and made it work! Eh-eh-heh...

-In my old room here in S.F. (which is now called the Tovstin, a mix of Tovsen -Gary's name- and Westin, where Mom works), Gary has some tiny fish... one of them died last night. :( I didn't want to let it sit there (which is what I did several years ago in high school, resulting in a mass fish death that day), so I disposed of it... so sad that it had to die on Christmas. What made it especially suck was that he had another fish that I thought had died when I first arrived... but apparently it was pregnant and just floating around, trying to avoid swimming too much. Gary poked it and it turned out to be alive, so I was relieved. I was hoping the same thing had happened with this other one, but... no such luck. I poked and it just floated back up again. ;_;

-I didn't get the chance to work on (let alone finish) my Aria's Ink 2003 Xmas competition entry "Information, Please!" (title subject to change now), but I've got it pretty fleshed out in my head... I think it was 4-5 chapters, and I think I've decided not to make it an AU... the drama's always more fun that way. If I did get it done by New Year's, it be a nice "opening fic" for Epiphany when it goes live.

-Gotta work on the 30kisses purge!

-Wonder if I can get that purple double-breasted pea coat from H&M tomorrow...? I'll call the main store in the morning and see if they got a new shipment.

-Many, many books to read. Did I mention I'd gone on a bit of a spree at Borders the other night? Plus, I'm about halfway through the whole "His Dark Materials" trilogy; I'm several chapters into "The Subtle Knife."It's pretty comfy just lying in bed, watching movies and/or reading. I think I'll go back and do just that right now...

I'm not in prose mood at the moment (today was my "off" day, so to speak; I spent a lot of time working on "Ace of Hearts," the Sailor V x Kaitou Ace fanlisting (now live! check it out!), then reading old Sailor Moon fics and fic ideas, including one that I don't think I ever posted anywhere except maybe the SMRFF. There's also one I intended to write for an Aria's Ink contest but never got off the ground. So I really want to work on those, Epiphany, and of course, WDKY26. Priority 1, though, is my JOUR 371 project.

But look, I've gone and babbled again. This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for:

-The right to vote. Need I say more?

-The freedom to choose: my elected officials, the clothes I'll wear, the way I look, and whether or not I can have an abortion in my state, if the need ever arose and may the Powers That Be forbid that necessity for me in my lifetime.

-My family, no matter how over-dramatic they can get. Both sides, Mom's and Dad's. Mom AND Dad, even though between the two of them I think I might develop a mental instability some time before I turn 40.

-My health-- the worst medical problem I have right now is my finicky stomach. I am so glad to not have (diagnosed) breast or skin cancer, two things which I am VERY vulnerable for. I am grateful for never having broken a bone, and having healed quickly from all sprains. I am thankful that my back is not as f*cked up as my Dad's, nor my head as pounding-full-of-migraine as Mom's. I am thrilled that my asthma, allergies, and poor vision have not taken over my life.

-My job. It may not be Journalism and it may not pay as well as a job in San Francisco right now or even a Target Executive Internship, but I love the people I work with, and even on my worst days, it's still a great job that I'm confident in doing. I can always, always learn more there, meet more people, and help others-- three things I love doing no matter what.

-My education. I know that there are some people --men and women, people of all ages-- that don't have the privilege of going to high school, let alone university. I am thankful that I have gotten scholarships and loans to be able to pay for it, and that my university has a beautiful campus, professors that are really interested in their subjects (some of them, anyway), and great programs.

-My home. It's always a bit awkward to think, but it becomes really, genuinely honest when I say it aloud to someone else: yes, I live with my paternal grandparents. No, I've never really lived alone, though I did have my own dorm room in Japan for 5.5 months. But living with my grandparents has not only made me more aware of what it takes to get as far as they have, but also so many other things: taking care of yourself physically, taking care of others whenever you can, and enjoying life to the fullest, highest degree. I am so grateful to have not just a roof over my head, a room to call my own (with my own posters, even when they won't stick on the wall!), and food in the fridge to eat, but a family to come home to.

-My friends. Even though I feel sometimes I'm a lousy friend, and don't call/email/IM enough, my friends really do mean the world to me, up there in the ranks with my family (by the way, this list is by no means in any sort of ORDER). I've got friends who have stuck by me when the rest of the school thought I was a super-bitch or total nerd. I've got friends who can share in my geekery, revel in my nerdosity, and giggle with me about anything and everything. Whether I know these friends in real life or just online; whether it's been years or just a few months, THANK YOU. And I would attempt to name all the names and all the reasons why, but it'd get too long. THAT I am grateful for. I've gotten to the stage in my life where I couldn't count the friends I have on one hand, let alone two, even if I tried. Once upon a time, someone asked me to name all the friends I had and count them-- they laughed when I didn't even hit 5. Now, I have so many more than that-- not just on this "Friends List," maybe even reading this now, but beyond.

THANK YOU, EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE, EVERYWHEN.

Happy Thanksgiving, even if you don't celebrate and/or aren't in the U.S.A.

Love and best wishes,
Meredith Sweet, aka Azurite aka Andi aka whatever the heck you wanna call me, I really have too many nicknames

lin_ko and guardian_kysra, I'm thinking of creating some new holiday skins for Dragonfayth, and I'm wondering if I could use your fanart for some of the imagery (e.g. the header banner). Let me know if you're okay with this, or if you want to know more, etc.

Anyone else interested in contributing fanart or manips for Dragonfayth, I have a BUNCH of holidays that need translation into graphical form. Of course, there's no written rule that they have to have Seto x Anzu or even Yu-Gi-Oh characters in them, but I'd especially love it if they could. So what follows is a list of the holidays I'm thinking of doing... ( Any holiday is an excuse for presents! )

Speaking of Samhain/All Hallow's Eve, I'm going as a witch (again). And yes, I'm well-aware of the irony. I wanted to go as Snow White, but I just didn't have time to get to a costume shop in time. 'Sides, I'm about broke, anyway, so I might as well make use of what I have. So I'll be wearing an all-black skirt and top combo with my purple-spiderweb witch hat and some garish makeup (that is, purple lip gloss and super-heavy eyeliner). Chances are I'll have to take my hat off in class, but other than that... <|:D

I wish I could go to a Halloween party, though... :P

Though I spent today at home (gotta love my stomach-- it likes to stage mutinies), there is ONE good thing about it all-- I'm like... 99.9% done with WDKY25. No, seriously. I'm just unhappy with some "tell instead of show" in the end scene, but I think I can fix that. I'm breaking out the writing kits and other tools I have, perhaps in time for NaNoWriMo. Actually, I've never successfully participated in NaNoWriMo, and I'm not sure if this month will be any different, what with all the various projects I have on my plate. But if I can finish more of WDKY in November, that'll be enough to keep me satisfied.

I wonder if tomorrow will signal finally seeing my vanishing-act boyfriend (rdrr) again. This top-sekrit video game project of his means I haven't seen him online, heard from him via phone, let alone seen him in person. It's been something like 7 weeks... o_o Baba thinks I ought to forget about him.

Speaking of the B&G, Grandpa tripped on his walk with Mokie (that would be the mini poodle we have, in case you didn't know) and got his face all scraped up-- he's okay now, but earlier he looked a bit like the mummy with his face bandaged up in so many places. He'll have more bruises than ever (and he's already got a lot because he takes blood thinners), but at least he's okay and in decent spirits. But when I came out of the house earlier when Baba called me (he'd been lying in the street and a driver walked him back to the house. If Mokie hadn't sat in the street right next to Grandpa, the driver might not have noticed Grandpa. So for once, I actually appreciate the fuzzbutt), I was pretty freaked out-- he was pretty bloody (but laughing about it!). I guess I'm just glad it wasn't worse. Though my dad knows about it and he didn't go off on a tirade about getting them into a home or getting a personal nurse, it does have me worried about all the What Ifs: what if I hadn't been there, what if Baba wasn't outside to see him, etc.? I'm here to take care of them, but there's only so much I can do, and I rely on them, too! /.\

Ugh, it's a constant to-do list with me! Every time I think of one thing I have to do, another five spring up. Just typing them here might get me more stressed out, and though I spent most of today in bed (because moving HURT), I do have to get to sleep... I figure putting on all that makeup will take a while, so I might as well get enough sleep to wake up early and get all gussied up. :P

Whoo-hoo! Yesterday was just all-around great (except for one "thing" at work that was minor but made me grumble, but whatever, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter at all!). I was pretty excited in all my classes; my first teacher is petite AND energetic like me, and though Investigative Journalism seems a bit dry, it'll be sure to be challenging, as well. I'm looking forward to this semester! I'm also thrilled I got published in the Sundial on the VERY first day back- okay, not page one, per se, but my story WAS mentioned on the front page, though the actual story was on Page 6. And it turns out the editors AREN'T so anal with deadlines, because the EIC told me I could have come in the other day 5 minutes late, no worries-- but I'd run across campus from work, coughing and asthmatic. :P

I worked until 7pm, since those are the new hours M-Th this semester, and it was just non-stop busy! Yet I wasn't exhausted when I got home... Shawn came over after a bit, and we went to see "The Bourne Ultimatum" at the Winnetka theatre. We got dinner at Subway and had no problems getting it in, and the theatre was almost empty, so we had our choice of seats. The movie was really good, too! I liked it so much I reviewed it right away when I got home (using Flickster on Facebook; check it out!) and put the soundtrack (which also kicks ass) on my iTunes alerts. When I get paid again, I might get it, but for now all my money's going toward textbooks, my new computer/iPod, and my impulsive .Mac purchase.

And it's Friday, huzzah-- Grandpa's not going to be working at the pharmacy anymore, which is both unfortunate and good. Unfortunate because I think he'll be irritated with not being able to do things, but good because he can take care of HOME business like bills, cleaning up his massive stock-tracking collection (newspapers, magazine, etc.) He's been pretty forgetful lately, which is the primary reason behind his not working anymore- if he's not careful with his own (or Baba's) medicine, he can't be expected to be careful with other people's. It's sad, but safer and better that way, for everyone all around. I've tried to be as helpful as possible within reason-- I never want to baby them, because they've always been such independent individuals, but I can see the sense in making a list of all their medications so if one of them is sick or something, we can still know what to do. Of course, Grandpa was stubborn when I tried to do that, so Fred and Susy took over, but I don't know how much progress they made. I should probably email Fred and find out.

( Music Meme! )

ETA: I neglected to mention (out of forgetfulness, not shame, REALLY!) that today is the one year anniversary since I last updated WDKY. I would like to say I have finished WDKY25 and will be posting it sometime before midnight tonight... but we'll have to see. Right now I'm taking the Word DOC version of Stubborn-Aesthetic's edits and making it into HTML (should have just asked for the HTML version, I'm too nice...), but there's still writing to be done.

Aside from all my usual distractions -family, personal stress, school, work- what I really need is a committed, single beta who is willing not just to concrit the usuals (spelling, grammar, punctuation, flow, diction, etc.) but also the story points, the characterization, and so on. I tend to write from an outline, so there are often parts of said outline left in my un-beta'd WDKY chapters, and I'd LOVE beta-reader input on how to go about answering those questions with prose, or addressing whether or not they're even pertinent to the story.

Frankly, I'm sick of not having a single person or small team of people to always go to. I realize people have lives of their own, so it's hard to always get the same people. That's why I'm looking for a committed few who think they can dedicate a few hours out of their lives every few months to helping me out with all that is WDKY, because trying to do it on my own can and has produced disastrous results. I want more than just one type of casual beta'ing, or JUST the straight "editorial fixes." I want someone to bounce ideas off of, ask questions of me, know the latest chapters and developments, have guesses of their own... everything. Know such a person(s)? Let me know. I'm going to finish this story... well, I would say "if it kills me," but isn't that ironic? The story is "What DOESN'T kill you." RDRR.

Hmm, some quick updates:

-Working steadfastly on WikiFic. Thanks to Platonides over at the wikimedia-l, I got the Infoboxes working, but I still need to grab a BOATLOAD of templates from Wikipedia to get everything looking nice-- for example, a lot of flag-related graphics and templates. Any help with this would be greatly appreciated-- it's really just a lot of C&Ping. You do need to have a WikiFic account though, but it takes all of 5 minutes to sign up and get started.

-Working on creating "Ultimate Armor" for my party in FFX, and I'm discovering few people think Break HP or MP limits are useful at all-- which means the armor I already created for Auron and I think Rikku is fairly useless. I've never gotten to the point where I actually fight SIN (I keep dying whenever I fight those Behemoth-type monsters inside Sin, as I recall from the last time I got this far, on my old memory card which is now lost to the ages), so I hope that by capturing more monsters and leveling up (to get the items I need for the Ultimate Armor), I'll be able to survive Sin.

-iWork and iLife have both been updated to '08! That better mean when I get my new laptop, those are installed... since I don't know what I'm going to do with my old laptop (this one), I'm not sure if I should get the family pack ($20 more) of either version yet. I know 5 Macs, but the question is, should I really give "free" iLife and iWorks '08 if I do spend the extra $40 on the two Family versions of the pack?
Here are the nominees:
(1) Mine
(2) Mine 2, possibly to be given to Grandpa, sold to Mom, or sold for parts
(3) Erin's
(4) the iMac at work in the Walk-In Center (which is a bit old)
(5) Shawn's

Speaking of the boyfriend, he's fabulous- complimentary, has a wonderful sense of humor, doesn't mind games (I got him to play both Bubble Bobble and Scrabble tonight-- hah!), and we both vented about work to each other without any awkwardness or hard feelings. He's also super-thoughtful, though I can't really say how. ^_~

I really ought to be getting to sleep now though... for one, my tooth has been hurting pretty bad since this morning or so (I somehow doubt it's mental, no matter how much I wish it were), and the Orajel I got at Rite Aid earlier is totally numbing the right side of my face. I also have to walk to school tomorrow since Baba & Grandpa have a doctor's appointment (I hope it's not too hot or too gloomy tomorrow morning). Two more weeks and three days till my first surgery... school starting, and who knows what other mayhem!

I blame ceruleansan for this one. Her and an_ardent_rain for providing me with Azureshipping to make me jealous of, and guardian_kysra for writing "Clean" and "Unclean," which will forever be stuck in my head. THUMBS UP, LADIES!

( This isn't Grimms Fairy Tale, folks... )

Tonight wasn't too bad at all. I finally met up with Erin and Joyce (actually, they picked me up after getting lost here in S.F. Haha! I don't know SF driving-wise at all. I think of everything in terms of bus routes) and we headed to IKEA in Emeryville and then got a bit lost trying to get to Dad's place in Alameda. Erin and I played with Roy a bit (Roy still loves me :D :D) and then we went to dinner at this small Thai place with a "cute" young waitress (Joyce kept saying she was "cute," even though I thought the girl wasn't that young; she was probably between 16 and 19, which I think is beyond "cute" age in the usual sense of the word). The food was good, though I had leftover Gai Yang, so I brought it home.

We went back to S.F. and I got to see Erin's new apartment (in which I broke the toilet somehow, because it was running/not flushing and my opening the lid and dropping some tube thing didn't help), which is small, but very nice. And when she gets all the stuff she put together from IKEA set up, it'll look very nice. I helped her schlep all the furniture up the 2 flights of stairs, since she doesn't have an elevator in her place yet (but it's still nice, even though it's tiny as all hell and she's paying $400 more than my mom is- and my Mom has 2 bedrooms and a sunroom!).

Anywhoozles, tomorrow I head to the DLP in Moraga-- alas, the people I was going to carpool with either switched DLPs or are going on Saturday, so I'll be going all by my lonesome (hah) on the BART and bus. No biggie, been there, done that. The hard part's always packing light, especially since this is supposed to be a big important business-type event, so I have to ONLY bring what I need. And I still "need" to figure out some way of using Gary's printer (an HP Photosmart C6100) wirelessly. I figured how to do it Computer-to-Computer (ad hoc), but then it messes up any computers that DO use it wirelessly via Mom's router. Anyone have any idea how to do this? The instruction manual seemed pretty useless on this front.

I hope I can get up early enough tomorrow to still get my nails (and maybe my brows) done, and if I'm feeling bold, I can swing by the Metreon to grab that Writer's Toolbox from Chronicle Books that I want. Maybe the more craft books/kits I have, the more inspiration I can get/dish? akavertigo and I are supposed to be challenging each other to get writing, but 1) her challenges were HARD HARD HARD (and I don't see how to fit them into WDKY at all, let alone WDKY25), and 2) I can't think of anything to challenge her back with atm.

Of course, I don't even know if I'll have Internet access this weekend, but regardless, I want to have my laptop so I can at least "write" things down. I would hate it if inspiration DID strike and I had nothing to write/type on but little scraps of paper like I did back in the day.

That said... I should probably get to sleep. :P I kept napping throughout today, which explains why I'm always so tired in the daytime, but relatively perky at night. If I just force myself to go to bed at a semi-reasonable hour, maybe I won't feel so compelled to sleep in the daytime-- which, this weekend would be Very Bad (meriting caps, you see).

You Are A Green Girl

You feel most at home in a world of ideas. You're curious and logical - and enjoy a good intellectual challenge. You're super cool, calm, and collected. Very little tries your patience. Your only fear? People not realizing how smart and able you are!

( ETA: dragonfayth, dreams, food, mentality )


Which Egyptian God are you? Find out at egypt_stamping
Sorry, Obelisk the Tormentor and Slifer the Sky Dragon are not valid Gods and will not be used in the results.

I got tired of the pastel look of my old LJ layout (I'm not as creative as other LJers with their original and unique LJ layouts... I'm so fickle, I just change whatever's available in the LJ styles), so I switched to the new limited-edition "Havaianas" blue and pink layout. It's kind of cute, nice and bright.

Today I came to work late because of a dermatology appointment at Kaiser... FINALLY! I had to call them, even though my substitute primary physician told me THEY (being the dermatology department) would call me since she put a referral in for me. Anyway, so I showed the dermatology doc the funny spot on my left side. The nice doctor, Schweitzer by name, just smiled and said we'd biopsy it. And biopsy we did! So I guess he carved the odd bit off. Apparently I have more moles than I thought-- things I thought were just freckles are "warning spots," so I guess it's a good idea that I heeded the advice of Glamour and made the appointment to see my dermatologist, just because I fit into the "danger" group (one of them, anyway: fair-skinned and freckled folks). The results will be available in one week. And whatever they are, they probably won't surprise me. I think when it comes to medical stuff, nothing short of an STD could surprise me. (And considering I'm lacking in the S department, a D would be pretty hard to come by.)

Grandpa was nice enough to take me to Western Bagel (I had to pout and practically beg, which is pathetic for a 22-year-old college student, but their bagels are SOOOO good, much better than the Freudian Sip ones here on campus), which was actually kind of unexpected, since he pretty much said "No, don't have time, be mature about it," and I figured he was right, whatever, just get a bagel at school. But he didn't, so I got to have a soft, cream-cheese covered bagel (TWO! One for my late breakfast, one that I'll have in a bit for lunch) and a raspberry Snapple. JOYGASM!

And speaking of food, I've become a Food Network junkie. Compared to high school, I don't watch a lot of TV anymore-- I watch "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" on Sundays, "Raine" when it was on Thursdays/Fridays, and occasionally Food Network, if the show interests me. Two nights ago, I watched a marathon of Dinner: Impossible" and last night, I watched a marathon of "Ace of Cakes" and an episode of "Iron Chef America," which, compared to the crappy Shatner version, is fantastic and fun! I was really impressed with Chef Blais, who did all these crazy scientific things in the kitchen to make an amazing array of things with GARBANZO beans. As a supposed Garbanzo bean hater, I might actually like to try some of the things he made, because he proved that you can do a lot more with legumes than just stick them in a salad or dip.

But all the "Ace of Cakes" had me thinking: If your favorite [fictional] couple were getting married and wanted a 'unique' cake for their reception, what sort of cake might they have?

I'm thinking something along these lines or more "not-so-traditional."

I was originally considering Seto Kaiba and Anzu Mazaki, of course, and Anzu would undoubtedly say "No Duel Monsters," while Kaiba might say "No dancing anything." So what sort of cake might they have, if they don't want it to be all traditional (that is, multi-tiered and round with frills)? And what about Usagi and Mamoru, for that matter? I mean, we know Usagi's got her sweet tooth, but you can make a delicious cake in all sorts of shapes and sizes! So what sort of unique cake might she and Mamoru have? Give me size, shapes, colors, and if you can think more creatively, flavors!

Let me know!

But at last! The weekend! Have to clean my room (honest. With our without that damn bookcase!) and study for my finals-- on Monday there's my JOUR 330 final in Editing, and on Tuesday I have my JOUR 400 Media Law final and my JOUR 331 Graphics final, all of which I genuinely have to study for. Other than that, no other finals, just work. And I only work Wednesday and Friday, apparently. It'll be nice to have Thursday off. This weekend I also want to go to the mall to make sure Baba spends the Borders card my mom got her for Mother's Day (aww) and probably something else which I am forgetting. Maybe to look for CS3 books, since I might be getting it within the next two weeks thanks to my stellar soon-to-be-graduating-from-UCLA cousin **ERIN!** Apparently UCLA students get a much steeper discount on CS3 than CSUN students do, so I asked her if she could score it for me. She said yes, just call her on Saturday when she has time. :) Thrills!

And I guess I'm just going to keep thumbing through the Fall 2007 schedule to get some ideas for that "spare" class I have. I want to keep checking the online schedule throughout the summer so I know exactly what class times and professors are being offered. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a fun, mostly-stress-free Fall!

I found diaphanus's (aka Ian) LJ through a search of DIES GAUDII, the "famous" site that explains some of the interesting naming schemes, myths, and mix-ups throughout the Sailor Moon universe. I decided to check out some of the things Ian wrote, and I found this interesting video from 1967 about what they predicted kitchens in 1999 would be like.

They weren't TOO far off, but I wish more people had computers (or fridges, etc.) that could watch their calorie /mineral/etc. intake to better take care of their health. It's already 2007, and anything remotely like that (if it even exists) would probably cost a fortune. I'm not promoting being obsessive about that sort of thing, but if there were a way to be both proactive (not lazy) and have an easy way of understanding what you're putting into your body when you eat that cheeseburger or drink that soda, I don't think America would have quite the obesity epidemic that it does. Or maybe it would, what do I know?

I'm also thinking I probably shouldn't dig too intensely into summer internships since I *will* be working, at the very least, at the Call Center/Walk-In Center, and possibly also with Apple as a Campus Rep (though I have yet to receive some package from the agency, Volt). But I still have a MonsterTRAK search agent set up, and I can do the same at Yahoo! HotJobs. I didn't find the Yahoo! internship article I was looking for, but Yahoo! does have some other good resources on the subject, including Yahoo! Answers and their directory of Internships.

That said, another thing I found via Ian: Argh, it's L-U-T-H-O-R you dimwits! Which reminds me, I need to get S4 of "Lois and Clark." I actually "need" a lot of things lately. It's good I haven't gone and bought them all yet; I'm not broke, but there are so many things, and prioritizing them in order of real "need"/importance is actually pretty hard.

Opinions? What should be #s 1, 2, and 3?
eBags.com Kensington wheeled leather laptop case - $71.99
Japanimation.com Sailor Moon Memorial Music Box (10 CD Set) - $75.99
Amazon.com (or cheaper) Lois and Clark, Season 4 Boxed Set - $36.52-$41.99
Adobe Creative Suite 3 (Universal Binary) for Web - $499.00
Amtrak North America Rail Pass - $899.10 for 30 days of unlimited travel throughout the US, including a leg in Canada on VIA Rail
Something else...?

Thing is, if I'm saving up for the Rail Pass, I have to save up for where I'm going to stay, necessities like food, and souvenirs, too. Who knows how much that'll add up to? I know I can stay at hostels, and Mom might even hook me up for at least one location (hopefully Washington D.C), and if I visited New York, I might be able to stay with a relative (though staying at the Essex House again would kick ASS, especially if I weren't SICK this time around!). I'd probably need to budget at least $1000 just for that, which brings up the possibility of getting a credit card to fund it, rather than just let that idea slip away based on my current funding. Getting paid once monthly isn't fun, and this month, because I missed a few days of work due to doctor's appointments, I didn't get paid as much as usual. :( Or I won't get paid as much as usual, I should say. I haven't gotten paid yet; I just filled out the time sheets. Feels kind of old-fashioned.

Still waiting for my bookcase in the mail. Need to clean my room. And this weekend I wanted to go to Topanga Canyon to look into more pantsuits (and jackets), but James (cousin, son of Jill) is having his birthday party (Pirate-themed! Wahaha!) which I should probably go to (and what could I get James that he probably doesn't already have? I mean, all the games I know he likes are ones he already owns! Unless I get him Katamari or a GameStop gift card...). And now Apple ProCare members also get this One on One training, so I can sit down with an "Expert" and find out all there is to know about iPhoto and GarageBand without waiting for a workshop with a good time to show up on the Northridge store calendar. They have sucky dates for this weekend though-- nothing on Sunday, only Friday and Saturday evening, which is cutting it close if I have other plans at Jill's. But that can wait, I guess.

I don't know, I guess I just feel kind of busy and addled lately, but I don't want to get stressed. I want massages more often. And appointments with cute physical therapists at school. *impish grin* Alas, I don't get to see said cute guy at my next appointment on Tuesday. :P But maybe someday... Hehe.

Today I finally got the chance to go to Japantown (although not back downtown to H&M, where I wanted to get some more clothes... *le sigh!*) since Dad called this morning and said since he didn't have a place for me to stay in Alameda overnight, he could just pick me up. Yay to that, because it means I can take more things with me than I could have if I had just gone to meet him at the Ferry Station today... actually, I thought I'd be in LA again by now, so by leaving tomorrow morning, we are cutting it a little close, since the big Passover dinner's tomorrow, and I bet Dad'll be tired from the drive.

In any case, I'm glad I got to go shopping and enjoy a crepe at Sophie's. Truthfully, there wasn't much in the way of manga that I wanted. I almost bought all of the current releases of Skip Beat!, but a) I have many of those volumes in Japanese already and b) I can probably get a discount by buying them en masse at Borders in Northridge, rather than Kinokuniya. Still, I ended up buying a new "DIY: Design-It-Yourself" book that looks kind of interesting, and the two Sailor Moon S and SuperS DVD boxed sets from the Japantown Video Store.

...And, as the subject line says, they're faker than... well, the most fake thing you can think of. Sad thing is, I halfway knew it even before I put the money down for them, because I noticed several things:
(1) The wrong cover for both of them (which I knew from looking at the eBay guide to spotting fake SM DVDs)
(2) Bad spelling on the covers
(3) "MEPG-2" format listed on one box (though so far they play in my DVD player)
And then when I finally bought them and cracked open the plastic, it was "waxy cardboard" with glued-in (albeit not too sloppily) DVD holders, and the covers of the Uncut SMS DVDs (since that was the one I started with) inside, rather than individually-sleeved DVDs or anything like that. Then the back of the DVDs said the most incriminating thing of all: Made in Taiwan.

So they're fake, but I got so fed up of trying to find the legit things through legit channels (and I surfed a lot-- I went to all the DVD sites I knew of, anime stores, C&C Central here in S.F., Pioneer's own website, and countless other places), so when I saw the boxed sets for right there, I grabbed them. I paid $162 for them both, which is probably a rip-off, all things considered... and I *am* halfway tempted to tell Mom to try and return them for me (even though I know the store has a policy of no refunds on opened DVD boxes), but then I would not only NOT have the money (because again, I doubt the store would refund to my credit card, and what good would $162 in Jtown store credit do me in LA?), but I wouldn't have *ANY* Sailor Moon to get my hands on.

If someone could truly promise me a legit source of SMS and SMSS, I'd gladly fork over the money, because I believe in supporting the original creators of a series whenever and wherever possible. But sometimes distributors here on this coast make it awful hard. I'm not saying they should perpetually renew licenses, but I do think for things as big as SM, it would pay to do "anniversary editions" or something if they could. Who knows how relations are now between all the big companies, anyway...

I checked out the first episode of S, and aside from a few lines of dialogue getting unsubtitled, they're not too bad. I even tested the English audio track, and sure enough, it's the annoying S-dub I remember getting glimpses of back when it was on Cartoon Network. I think the main menu is supposed to be animated and a bit crisper looking than it is, but aside from those few peeves, I guess everything's all right.

I've been feeling kind of ill off and on this whole week, which sucks (and is at least partially my excuse for not having caught up on my Japanese, bad girl that I am). Tonight after Mom, Gary, and I saw "Zodiac" at the 1000 (I think only ONE person from when I worked there is still there now, and he didn't see me), we went to Mel's near Parker (or whatever that street before the old Coronet is called), and I couldn't even finish a whole half of a grilled cheese. Admittedly, I had a Kid's Pack of popcorn and a soda at the theatre, but still, I was hungry after the fact... it's been like that for days, where I feel hungry, and I can even feel my mouth watering, but I just can't eat. The thought alone almost makes me nauseous. I don't know why though. It's not like I *want* to not eat, to lose weight (I'm already underweight or on the low-end scale of "normal" for my height), or anything. And I hate wasting food.

I felt so shitty yesterday, I thought for sure it was some form of hangover from my one lousy mango margarita (admittedly, I think it really *WAS* a whole pint), and Mom was saying something about how tequila isn't exactly a trustworthy liquor, but... who knows? My whole body's just on the fritz.

It's been nice being back here in S.F., in a way, and I do wish I could stay longer and help out more, see more people, and get more done (both doing stuff-wise and finishing things that should have already been done a while ago-wise). But I do sort of look forward to the big Sweet family gatherings. Shaina I know is going to want to trim my hair and probably pluck my eyebrows, but that's about as far as I'll let her go. I honestly think my time is better spent catching up on homework. Now that I don't have to worry about people butchering the computer (because the PC really isn't my problem anymore; I only use it for the rare PC games I have the random urge to play), they can park themselves on it and I won't care. Wireless is nice... :D

That said, I better try and sleep, since I will be waking up in less than 6 hours to shower. But I guess I can always sleep in the car ride back to LA.

Oh yes, and my birthday is in 7 days. :D :D :D :D :D

My right eye hurts (good god I hope I don't have another eye infection. The last thing I need is to miss school/work from being legitimately sick), but AT LAST! I am done... not with WDKY25, sadly, but with my Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon VHS/DVD Inventory. It's as done as it's going to get-- I couldn't find images for 10 volumes of VHS tapes (mostly the Edited versions) in the Sailor Moon SuperS series, and I have yet to add images for the boxed sets for S and SuperS, or the "Dream Set" for the movies. And I wanted to edit the info so that the "volumes" also mentioned which episodes were on which volume, because there's almost always a difference from VHS to DVD.

Maybe I'll get around to posting the new page up on Epiphany/Mare Serenitatis whenever I get around to working on that again. :P

I didn't get to go shoe shopping with Adrianna today. ;_; She never called. I wanted to call her early this afternoon, but to my dismay, I discovered I didn't have her phone number! I swore I did before, so something must have happened and I deleted it. :( Alas, no double-points at DSW for me.

I did go out to dinner at Mimi's Cafe with Baba, Grandpa, Elliot, and Erin. The service wasn't all that great, but the food (Jumbo Spinach Tortellini with artichoke hearts) was pretty tasty. Elliot and I had fun trying to remember the 14 Leadership Traits. Apparently there's an acronym for it I never learned in ROTC: JJ DID TIE BUCKLE. See if you can figure out the Leadership Traits from that (no Googling, now!).

Also, I spent a while listening to akavertigo's awesome awesome ideas for "Reconstruction." I tell you, it shall be a KILLER story! I can't wait to actually read all of it. When all of it gets written. :D

AND I got up to the Watchtowers in Bevelle in my new FFX-2 game... damn watchtowers NEVER rotate the way the guide says they should! I must have done this at least a hundred times, but I can never get the platforms to go the way I need them to! And the dumb guidebook "names" the towers, instead of using the Glyphs to identify them, which would be LOADS easier. Can anyone help? I already have 3 Ribbons, but... I WANT ANOTHER ONE! :P

For the record: LJ Phoenix gives me a RealBasic NilObjectException error that prevents me from opening the program 5/6 of the time. I'm pretty much back to using the Web Update form of LJ because the error annoys me so much. *sigh* To find a client that does what I want *AND* works on a Mac... why can't someone just make Semagic for the Mac!? >_> Or maybe I should download it for the Windows VM and try and force myself to use it more often (lately I only use it for "The Ultimate Guide to Sphere Break"), so I don't become such a bitch about Windows (which I have been, lately. But seriously, Apple's commercials trump Microsoft's new "WOW" Vista CMs ANY DAY OF THE WEEK).

So I think I'll go to bed now and pray my eye doesn't become some sort of snot ball in the night.

P.S. Today Daylight Savings Time starts. Did you set your clocks forward? (Except you Arizona-people. Weirdoes.)

I'm a bad girl. And I probably have "Junioritis" again-- the same problem I had my junior year in high school, when I cut Honors English, AP History, and Japanese, resulting in my failing all of those classes. My lousy grade in Japanese is what prevented me from getting into SFSU, which had been my dream for so long. I made up my history and English classes in summer and night school, but I learned a pretty heavy lesson that year-- it's never worth it to slack off. NEVER.

And yet, here I am doing it again, in what is supposedly my junior year of college. Well, I'm only doing it for one class (again, Japanese), and so far it's only been 2 class sessions I've missed (albeit because the class is only twice a week, that can spell doom for my understanding of the lessons). And I've BEEN spending that time trying to catch up with the work, because I hate going to class "unprepared." It's my fault for not doing my homework when it was originally due, and I can make excuses into next week, but I won't bother. I'm a known procrastinator, but for some things, doing it at the last minute just stresses me more.

Stress, for me, turns into sleepless nights, weird dreams (when I can sleep), an inability to eat/an inability to stomach what I have eaten (resulting in lousy stomachaches and an inability to WORK or do schoolwork), gray hairs, over-sweating, irritability, and bouts of crying. Sometimes I even feel violent and want to shred something into teeny bits, scream into my pillow, or slice-and-dice something. Working seems to make me MORE stressed, yet slacking off (i.e. playing video games) results in me thinking later "Why did I do that? It may have relaxed me, but now I still have loads of work to do, and less time to do it in."

It occurs to me that maybe going to Japan wasn't such a good idea. It's not solely to blame for everything that I find "wrong" with my life right now: a lack of creativity, near-constant stress (despite dropping my Pop Culture class, Journalism and Japanese still stress me out a lot), disorganization, no social OR love life to speak of, and feeling like I haven't been taking care of my grandparents as I should have. But it played a big role. I feel "stuck" in my Japanese class-- not sure what they learned in 201, feeling rushed in 202, and out of place because I haven't had Snyder as a professor before. And I could go on about why I think going to Japan RUINED my love life, but... who knows whether that wouldn't have all happened ANYWAY? And it's not like it was a bad experience-- I met some incredible people, learned a lot, and grew as a person. I don't regret going, but I do wonder if it was the best decision for me at that time.

The unexpected can always add more to your stress levels, and yesterday it turned out my grandparents had a lot of final notices and unpaid bills. Normally they keep on top of these things, but lately they've been more forgetful-- not like my Mom forgetful (she SAYS it's because she's getting old, but I know better), or like me forgetful (I forget things a lot because I do too much at once, and my brain gets overloaded). And I don't think it's like Alzheimer's forgetful, either. But that worried me, because there's only so much I *can* do for them, even if I am living here. And I want to help them, not do their work for them. I'm not supposed to act like a nursing home attendant, and I know they wouldn't want that, either. So I reordered Grandpa's checks and got him started on Online Banking so we can pay more bills online-- we already have the TV bill automated to pay every month and deduct from one of his credit cards.

Grandpa's thinking of condensing the TV, Internet, and Phone all into one via Time Warner (our current TV provider), and switching from AT&T (our phone and technically our Internet, since they bought up SBC Yahoo). I went to their 3-in-1 package website yesterday, and it looks like the grand monthly total would be around $80 for all 3 services-- but I don't know if that's just the basic minimum-- I know we have lots of TV channels Baba and Grandpa wouldn't want to lose, and I have faster-than-standard Internet, too-- or at least we PAY for faster-than-Yahoo's-standard (1313 Kbps down, 428 Kbps up, though that doesn't SEEM that fast...). That price lasts for a year before getting bumped up to the higher price, but it still would be easier on everyone to just have ONE bill that I know we can pay automatically, online. I also wonder if ordering it via the phone, I could haggle the price or contract terms down, rather than just flat-ordering it online.

Does anyone else have a similar 3-in-1 package in your area? What do you think of it?

Woke up about a half hour ago because of a nightmare. So if I turn the heat off before I go to sleep, or set it on a timer, I wake up freezing. If I leave it on, I either wake up with a headache or feeling like aliens injected my brains with drugs.

In the dream, I was back at Baba & Grandpa's house, and Baba said something about me keeping my dog calm because Dad was coming over. In this, my dog was Perkins (a Gordon Setter), but female rather than male (as he was IRL). And apparently Perkins can turn into a very mean, face-eating dog when scared. So I started taking all the old pictures that hung in the rec room bathroom and barricaded that room with them. There was also a random block of heavy wood, which I covered with an ugly, thin comforter (peach, with some sort of white art deco design on it) from MY MOM'S HOUSE. Not that it would have made a difference-- it still looked like a block of wood, and why would anyone barricade a bathroom door with picture frames, anyway?

I remember seeing out the window, a champagne colored sedan (which my Dad has never owned), and retreating into the bathroom with Perkins, trying to keep her calm by petting her over and over on the head, even though she was starting to look around wildly and growl-- which was giving us away in the dark, cold bathroom.

And I heard the front door slam, and footsteps come toward us (all giant like, BOOM BOOM BOOM) and I just remember being scared that my own dog was going to eat me, or my Dad, or my Dad was going to kill us both.

...WHAT THE HELL?!

Well on the bright side, there's a part on WDKY25 about fear and nightmares that now I think I will be able to write. But still, WHAT THE HELL?!

And to add on to the mind-fuckery, about 5 minutes ago someone from Worcester, Massachusetts (I don't know anyone from Worcester, Massachusetts!) tried to call me ON MY CELL PHONE. And being somewhat freaked out due to the nightmare and not remembering how to cancel/ignore a call without opening the flip top, I did-- and it connected. So you can bet that even if I was connected for ONE STINKIN' SECOND, T-Mobile will charge me the international rate for the whole damn minute. And I don't know if people have been leaving me voice mails on my cell voicemail lately, but I don't want to pay the exorbitant amount to check! All the important people should have my Skype number anyway... (which expires on the 14th, damn).

But seriously now, what am I doing to deserve this? I can't sleep, my back or head is always hurting, and everything I do, I either get easily distracted from, blocked in, or I'm simply not satisfied with it. And yet I'm TRYING, it's really not for lack of effort or research or anything on my part. I've been trying new foods, going new places, doing my best to understand people in their native language, socializing more, keeping clean, keeping somewhat healthy, getting ready to go back to the States, preparing for all my classes -I finished that godforsaken Media paper, but I'M NOT HAPPY WITH IT!- and I'm JUST NOT SATISFIED.

Scott's right-- I wanted my last month here to be easy too, but nothing's working out like that. And I'm back to being awake, stressed out, and frankly, my chest really hurts and I'm getting sick of sounding like I'm making excuses for something that even I don't understand WHY it's happening! (And much as the idea of sleeping in --again-- tempts me, I'm actually quite sick of being holed up here in the dorms, saying I'm getting stuff done but never feeling like I'm accomplishing anything, no matter what I do. I'm also sick of transmitting those excuses onto my teacher, because even if they are legitimate, it doesn't change the fact that I need to be in class to learn and get a good grade.)

Okay, I *JUST* woke up from a set of really weird dreams. It's 6 in the morning here on Labor Thanksgiving Day here in Japan. No classes or EC, so yay to that, but it's cold and I have lots to do, anyway.

So, let's see, here are the snippets of dreams I remember:
-Going to see a movie with someone (Scott?) and watching a movie about dragons. Not Eragon, which I know is/was out in the States and is coming soon here to Japan, but something similar. I just know it wasn't Eragon. And there was a preview for a new Quentin Tarantino movie which I remember distinctly, for a "Kill Bill" sequel of sorts-- only more like a prequel, because it was all about Lucy Liu's character, and when the big red words "LUCY" and then "LIU" appeared, everyone freaked out and the crowd in the theatre went wild. And then JET LI was in it "as himself," but really as Lucy Liu's boyfriend/lover, only something had happened to him while he was separated from Lucy, so he was bald but had a scar on the upper right of his head... where a THIRD EYE popped out when he willed it. And when this eye opened all the way, it was the size of a sand-dollar (and I mean that LITERALLY, not in that figurative sense) and very snake-like looking. I remember there being some sort of "vortex" scene transition effect, and the viewers all got sucked into the eye as Jet Li told Lucy Liu his story. Either part of the preview or part of the movie itself ("sometime in the not so distant future..."), Uma Thurman was back and shooting the hell out of Lucy Liu's apartment. Apparently this was when she was trying to live a semi-normal-looking life-- not Miss Queen of the Japanese Underworld. And Uma had to retreat, leaving Lucy to both clean up the mess of her apartment (before her little ol' landlady, a mean bitch in her own right, found out) and explain things to Jet Li. And Jet Li apparently got Uma to run away by throwing a full-sized vacuum at her. o_O;

-I also had a dream involving me talking to my dad, which isn't that far from what I sort-of planned; I was going to either email him or call him today/tomorrow and ask him for a bit of financial help, since, well... he's not helping me out directly here in Japan. I did tell him how Mom helped me with the cell phone bill, but not to guilt-trip him or anything; I told him because a) I do not lie and b) he asked what was up, and at the time I called, that particular situation had been stressing me out. (Of note is the fact that dad CLAIMED he called my Skype number numerous times and left voicemails, but I never saw them. Skype WAS buggy, but even when I missed calls or got new VMs, it notified me. I don't know if he's tried to call since --I called him a few days ago-- but I have never seen any calls/VMs from Dad.) Anyway, the dream oddly took place back at 523B Webster back in Petaluma (*sniffles* I was getting a bit nostalgic about it during yesterday's EC in 4th period. We were talking about fruits, and I mentioned how my backyard there had a blackberry hedge, a plum tree, AND a strawberry box. We also had an avocado tree, tomatoes, and some hot peppers), I remember being in the bathroom pacing and telling Dad all these reasons why I needed him to be a bit more of a presence in my life. I remembered that "Why a Daughter Needs a Dad" book (on my Amazon wishlist :P) and then thinking "I should probably shut up and not say things that I don't know for sure," such as "I want to get married soon, and if you're not part of my life, who will give me away?" because yeah, presumptuous much? (But like I said, I don't lie... I have been thinking about it. A little.)

Maybe it's not so unusual after all, but it was enough to get me up and typing here, so... yeah. (Well that plus it was FREAKING COLD in here -maybe 13 C/55F?- and my roommates mysteriously left ALL the kitchen lights on AGAIN...)

Anyway, I wanna go back to sleep. :P My stomach doesn't hurt as much anymore, but I do want to rest as much as I can today, so that later on when I *DO* have to be awake, I can be gung-ho about all that I have left to do... which, frankly, IS A LOT.

I do hope I can get ahold of Joyce and family (I wanna know if my flowers made it already) and also Scott and family, if possible (because I sent his mother flowers, too). I would feel guilty about not having arranged to have sent Mom something, except she had the most expensive Christmas present out of everyone, and I already sent it to her. And yeah, I'm BROKE now, so it's not like I could have afforded it, anyway.

At last, the San Francisco recap post... assuming I can actually remember most of what happened.

Saturday, July 15th - Scott came over around noon, not long before our shuttle was supposed to have arrived. He was originally going to come over earlier, except his friend Brett got a job back down in San Diego, and since all of their other mutual friends were off partying, Scott decided to help him pack up, so he stayed the night in Burbank. It was weird for him to already be near the airport where WE needed to be, just to come 20 miles up north so he could take a shuttle BACK DOWN to Burbank, but oh well. :P

It was awkward at first, but the shuttle arrived soon enough and we were off. After wandering out the paltry selection of stores and restaurants (read: less than half of each) in the United/American Airlines terminal, we sat down and had some snacks, at which point it was silently "decided" that to hell with it, call us whatever you will, we are what we are and we feel the way we do, so screw it. So yes, I suppose we were acting like boyfriend and girlfriend, even if that "definition" hardly applied to us. He was very sweet and affectionate to me, and even though initially I was scared of that meaning I would have a harder time of saying goodbye to him when the time came (Peace Corps taking him to Central Asia, me going to Japan), I'm not stupid enough to deny affection and attention when it's offered and WANTED.

We managed to get to San Francisco just fine; the plane was horribly small and the drink selection terrible (Pepsi! EEEUCK!), but at least we made it on time. We took the BART (I got a little lost at the SFO station) to Daly City, and bought a 7-day passport at the airport for $24/each. Then we took the 28 to Fulton and met my mom at the house. :} We hung around for a while, got dressed, and then headed out to downtown, where we'd take another BART to West Oakland to go to the Fire Arts festival. Aside from the usual loonies hanging around at the BART station, there was no problem. We got off at our stop and, just as dad said, we knew immediately where to go-- right toward the pillar of fire.

*grin* The Fire Arts festival is something my dad raved about last year, hosted by The Crucible, a fire-arts school that focuses on things like metalwork, electric work, glass blowing, and the like. We had to work our way through a windy, twisty line, but at last we made it in -even though a group of snotty bitches cut us in line. I hate that! I really do! But anyway, we got in, met my dad at the bar, and then looked around. The first thing I noticed was DDR on a wide projection screen, so we headed over there-- and sure enough, they were doing something called "Dance Dance Immolation," a modified version of Stepmania with "fire" themes. The modes were renamed (Light was Burner, Standard was Raver, and Heavy became Asshole; the description of the latter was "Your arcade misses you") and the gauge became a danger thermometer-- you know, like you see on nuclear reactors, or on the modified DeLorean in Back to the Future part III?

We watched a few people in flame retardent suits attempt to DDR, but needless to say, they all sucked. No one seemed to know what DDR was or how to play it... so when the event coordinator walked around and asked for volunteers, I surprised myself by speaking up. I was wearing leather pants and a vinyl tube top and 3-4" Tommy Hilfiger leather boots, but I shimmied out of the tube top and into a red cotton sleeved shirt, and after much waiting and confusion about suit sizes, I was up there, an oxygen tube strapped to my back, a silver suit concealing my identity... and I DDRd while flames shot in my face.

I shit you not. FLAMES. IN MY FACE.

The guy I was playing with said he'd DDRd before, but we agreed to let each other pick songs. But they'd renamed all the submenus too, so I couldn't find the song I wanted, so I got stuck with Mobo*Moga or something for my first song. I aced it anyway. ;} I got Breakdown for the second song, and aced that, but by the third stage, I was so tired from the heaviness of the suit and my sore feet, I started to stumble while playing Butterfly. The guy controlling the game refused to let me do any speed or step modifiers, saying "This isn't DDR, this is Dance Dance IMMOLATION!" And immolation is right, because even though I still did okay on Butterfly, I got flames in my face plenty of times. It wasn't until the suit was off that I realized how grateful I was for the oxygen tube. I was sweating terribly but DAMN that felt good!

Not too many people can say they aced DDR while flames shot in their face. :D Boo yeah, baby.

( Read more... )

Finished the first chapter of the "Sailor Moon: Another Story" RPG Novelization.
Read it here!

I'm also playing the RPG until I get to a point where I can start editing some maps (that is, editing the images of maps I have so I can make it easier for future games/future gamers to find all the items hidden throughout the game... it's quite the challenge!). I already have D-Point Cave and the North Pole, but there are plenty more maps to be had. Thank goodness for FuSoYa's map editor and ripper! :D

I think I'll watch Sailor Moon episode 35 today, but because I was on such a capping spree yesterday, I don't think I'll cap this one until later. I've been capping all the episodes so far, even if I haven't been posting the images at ABPSM, but if you want any, go ahead and ask. After that, a nice cool bath and exfoliation... :D

I went shopping with Baba today, and I pretty much murdered JCPenney's. I got lots of new shirts, a new pair of South Pole pants (which may or may not need to be returned for a larger size, if only because they accentuate my figure A LOT), and South Pole crop jacket. I wanted to get this nice casual 3-piece suit, but it wasn't marked down from $60, so I didn't. :( But I did go to Bath and Body Works and get some yummy White Cherry Blossom lotion (2 for $5!) and the Lancaster Silk Bronze Hydrating Milk Lotion, which I mentioned before and gave me -Casper, the Friendly Ghost- A TAN! :D :D :D Yes, I got some unsightly tan lines... ON MY PINKY, but other than that, it works great. It works FAST, too, and even if you mess up and have some patchy areas that are darker than others, it starts to blend in thanks to the sun and your own natural movements within a day. So yay for me being all gorgeous and glowy like a real valley girl should. And I should probably get my hair done soon (to splurge on a salon again or no...?) before I go to San Francisco. :}

I also got the new Danielle Steel novel (...hey, it was on sale! At least it's not a tawdry romance this time), the latest Shoujo Beat, and Skip*Beat, one of my new manga addictions... which I may scan some pages of and make icons with. Icons icons icons! YAY~!

I also made a "mew" friend today-- Milo the cat, who lives across the street from us. Our neighbor, Leila, just got a new dog. I don't know what breed it is, but it's ITTY BITTY, looks like it'll stay that way, and is so short and stubby that when she sets it down in the grass, IT SINKS. It looks like a graham cracker dog, with super-soft fur and a smashed-in face. The cat is easily three times this dog's size. But while Baba and Grandpa were so enamored with the dog, I saw the cat and started to meow to it. To Leila's surprise, Milo came RIGHT UP to me (she says HE NEVER DOES THAT) and started to rub against me! :D He even rolled around and let me rub his belly and his paws, and enjoyed a good chin-scratching. YAY! I got to pet my first neighborhood kitty! :D :D :D

It sucks that I don't have a 3-day weekend (work on Monday), but I do have off on Tuesday, but I think Jill and the family will still be up in San Francisco visiting my mom (it's about time!), so that's a no-go. But I've been playing with my camera lately and taken some of those popular flower pictures (I'll post them later), so maybe after figuring out some more settings with ISO and shutter speed, I can go take pictures of fireworks at Porter Ranch or somesuch. *shrug* Or maybe I can just figure out how to climb the roof?

So, episode 35,  bath, and then bed! YATTA~

Ah, should I say yesterday was successful and happy or not? How about you help me decide (I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure...)
(1) Hot as hell. No wind, fans don't seem to do much. Yuck.

(2) Wasn't tempted to buy anything at Best Buy! Yay! (I'm broke anyway, not-so-yay)

(3) Called my cousin Jill and talked to her for awhile- we're supposed to get together later today. Yay!

(4) Watched Yu-Gi-Oh GX (Can totally see Anzu kicking Dmitri's ass for trying to "be" Yugi) and had a good laugh

(5) Missed Fullmetal Alchemist (even though it's supposed to suck compared to the manga!)

(6) Suddenly remembered this morning that there's a scrapbooking event I RSVPd for at school. I didn't pay for it, but it's at 4pm or so, and I'll probably be with Jill all day. Foo!

(7) Got to mine-duel and trade cards (more like get cards as a fabulous gift) from an edo_lister, Malakite. Not only got tons of good cards through several hours of mine sessions, but I laughed too. We both have a sense of humor regarding the censors on the Yu-Gi-Oh! Online chat rooms. (Seriously, "goo" is a bad word!?)

(8) During said mine duels, I barely remembered which cards I got from my packs. I remembered some, but I hated how I kept forgetting the third one in the pack. Malakite told me this is because the third card almost always sucks, and he's right, but I hate not remembering stuff that I've seen TWO SECONDS BEFORE!

(9) Just remembered (right after I remembered the Scrapbooking thing) that I didn't critique anyone's papers for WWA. The week of finals, I was so stressed, depressed, and sick that I didn't remember one bit. I wonder if that'll lower my grade by much... *worry* HAH HAH, still got an A! (That's 3 As and 3 Bs. Or 2As and 3Bs, since the 102/C is technically one course, but they grade separately for the 102 class and the C(onversation) part of the class. That's a 3.4 GPA... not sure if that's perfectly accurate, and while it means no Dean's List this semester, it does mean YAY FOR MER! :D :D I MADE IT I MADE IT hard semester's over~ la la la la la la!

(10) Successfully canceled my Ancestry.com account. It was fun while it lasted, but it's way too freakin' expensive!

(11) Tweaked a bit of WDKY24 last night. It's annoying, but I've found that re-reading the whole chapter helps me focus on the scenes I have yet to write, and how I can better convey what I already have down.

(12) Haven't updated my YGO TCG sell list in 2 days. BAD MER!

Hm, good day or bad day?

All I know is, I want to go swimming.

ceruleansan, I hope you know this is ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU STARTED IT!
And if I get plotbunnied and start writing Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction, I KNOW WHO I'M COMING AFTER TO BETA MY FICS! *angry stare*

Yeah, so I've kind of gotten, er... well, let's use a light form of "obsessed," shall we? Interested in the FMA series. CeruleanSan had me downloading scanlations from StopTazmo, and I've managed to get up to Chapter 20 or thereabouts. She wanted a new convert to the whole Ed x Winry pairing, and I'm so far inclined to agree with her-- a bit. There really isn't a whole ton of romance or innuendo, or backstory beyond how Ed and Al got to where they are.

I admit- parts of the manga are extremely funny, but I don't think ANY manga has ever had me crying so much within a few chapters. Yu-Gi-Oh only brought me to tears when I realized IT WAS OVER, not at any point during the first arc. Even Sailormoon, with the DEATH! and the TRAGIC!OMG etc... even in the live-action, it was always toward the END that I was sobbing like a baby. And okay, FMA didn't have me sobbing like a baby, but the sad parts (people getting murdered, kittens being dead, etc.) had me sniffling and wishing I could click away-- but I couldn't. :P

So I download about 3 chapters at a time while doing something else online. I read them all once they've finished downloading, and once I get 700 MB worth (which may take awhile; I've got something like 97 MB now, and that's *20* chapters!), I'll burn it to CD.

Sucky thing is that the quality really went down around Ch. 18. I don't mean the manga or even the scans- just the translating. All of a sudden, words were horribly misspelled, apostrophes and commas were left out, and chapter titles weren't translated at all anymore. Some omake bits and cover scans were left out altogether! It was kinda sad. If anyone knows where the HQ scans are, I'll wait longer-- just so I can read scanlations in REAL English, not that kindergarten crap that passes for English these days. (I like "Engrish," but there's no humor in stuff that's halfway between Engrish and English. It's called LAZINESS.)

UGH! One more week until I get paid, two more weeks until "finals" (I actually don't have finals for all of my classes. I do have tons of WORK to get done, especially by the end of this week, so I better get cracking.), and three weeks until FANIME! I still haven't reserved a shuttle to the airport and back again though, and Mom hasn't paid me or covered any portion of the hotel room yet. I should call her about that (well, she DID offer! It'll shave some off the money she still owes me, at any rate). At least I'll have April's paycheck (or will it be May's?) to cover Fanime and the like, and I'll be making MORE money in the summer, assuming I get more hours (which I hope I do).

Ooh, and for Mother's Day weekend, I'm going to San Diego on the choo-choo! :D I'm going to make Scott's mom a card, because even if I don't see her, she's been way nice to me. I know I'm going to see Scott at least on Friday night/Saturday morning, so he can pass the card on. I think I'll be at Joyce's for Sunday, but I don't know what exactly we're doing. (I hope Joyce wins her court case today against the insurance guys, because it'd be sucky for her and Baba to try and celebrate Mother's Day if she DIDN'T win.)

( More FFX-2 and Da Vinci Code Quest schtuff )

( Meme ga aru! )

Ugh, still need a new LJ layout (got sick of the Lisa Frank kitties). DAMN YOU MUSE! Where ARE you!?

Fuck it, I'm not F-locking this idiocy. You all want to know about the stupidity and immaturity of my dad? Fine, here it is. I suppose I'm being stupid and immature too, ranting about it here in my LJ, but it IS my personal bitch space, so I'm going to use it as such. If I was considering giving my dad a 2nd or 3rd (or umpteenth) chance after the debacle Passover week/end, I'm certainly not now.

I come downstairs to make dinner; Dad's on the phone. Baba says that he "wants to speak to the twit." I responded back (snappy, not angry or bitchy) that I don't answer calls from people who can't come up with anything better than monosyllabic insults. Of course, I ended up picking up the phone anyway, but instead of saying "Hi, how are you?" the first words out of his mouth are "I thought we agreed you wouldn't move the computer upstairs."

Er, no? When he mentioned my idea might not be such a good one, I took it into consideration. But the fact is, the family only comes over TWICE A YEAR, with the occasional stay-over from random relatives for a night or two --AT THE MOST. I am the one that uses the computer the most, for school work and for fun. I am the one that KEEPS IT RUNNING SMOOTHLY when the relatives visit and stupidly and unknowingly stuff the computer with viruses and spyware. They have done this on practically EVERY OCCASION without fail, my so-called DAD included.

I may not have paid for the computer itself, but let's see what I have paid for:
-Wireless adapter $50
-McAfee Suite 2006 $70
-Microsoft Office $89
-At least 3-5 bundles of 100pk blank CDs $15/ea.
-Macromedia Studio 8 $235
-At least 2 reams of paper $10
-At least 2 ink cartridges $58
-Wacom Tablet Mouse and Pen $99

And probably more I'm forgetting. Plus there are the things that didn't necessarily cost money, but took up time, and provide help, resources, or entertainment to everyone else who ever uses the comp:
-Symantec Anti-Virus Corporate Edition
-Games (like The Sims, which I did pay for; Doom, which I did pay for, etc.)
-Spyware removal (Lavasoft AdAware, Spybot S&D, Windows Defender, SP2, Windows Update)
-Belarc Advisor
-Drivers that support better audio and video
-Drivers to keep the existing hardware running smoothly
-Better media players
-Support for iPod and iTunes
-Support for downloading large episodes/movies, etc. (file downloaders)
-Firefox and Thunderbird + Extensions and chrome fixes
And on, and on...

On to the point, I told Dad that I asked Baba and Grandpa if it was okay before I did it. It took some convincing, but they agreed. Why? Because IT MAKES MORE SENSE.
a) It's less dusty up here
b) I won't bother anyone with lights on, noises playing and echoing off high ceilings, etc.
c) less bugs!
d) I actually am in MY ROOM, with the desk MADE for the computer, where I can go STRAIGHT to bed when I feel tired

Finally, Grandpa really doesn't use the computer much anyway. It's also an old piece of crap, but I'm slaving away keeping it running, even while I bog it down with Sims and music. I still streamline it by removing programs and files frequently, running scans, defragging, updating, and burning CDs. Grandpa LIKED the idea of getting himself a laptop. I would get my OWN laptop for Japan, paid for ENTIRELY with my own money-- the same way I paid for my LAST laptop!

I told Dad this -that I took into account what he said, but I still asked Baba and Grandpa, and it was fine with them. He keeps going back to how I supposedly "promised" (which I did not) that I wouldn't move the computer, as if he comes often enough for it to matter to him, or if he has any freakin' say about what goes on in the house, or what Baba, Grandpa, and I say or do. I told him that I would always listen to his good advice and help, but not his insults or arguments.

He hung up on me.

I don't care anymore. The idiot's getting worked up over a 5-year old computer that isn't his, that he doesn't maintain. He hardly knows how to do anything on computers outside of Firefox and AutoCAD, and maybe some MS Word. I AM TECH SUPPORT. It used to be a joke, but it's not now. It's my job. I know what I'm talking about. I'm constantly learning-- I love it, and I'm getting paid for it. I wouldn't want to go work at Dell or anything like that, but I hate how he treats me like I don't know anything about computers, this house, my grandparents, or what it means to be an adult.

I'm 21. I'm an adult. I'm a fully grown woman. I would appreciate having a parent in my life who cares about and for me, but obviously my father is not that person. So forget him. He's the one that's going to miss out-- NOT ME.