MILES to GO || before I sleep

Having seen Australia's "Thunder From Down Under" boys for a second (incredible) time at the Rrazz Room in the Hotel Nikko here in San Francisco the other night with my girlfriends, I have come away from the experience delighted, amused, and, as all experiences ought to be, thoughtful.

Why do women of all ages (and men, too!) come to events like these, groping, pawing, squealing and giggling over these hot "Australian exports?" What is it about these guys that makes them so sexy, so all-around appealing, enough to make so many different people go absolutely nuts for a few hours in one night--repeated many nights in a row, in many cities all around the world?

So here are my thoughts on that very subject, and what "regular" (because TFDU guys seem to be in a class of their own) guys and gals could stand to learn from male entertainers such as the TFDU blokes.

( Read more... )

It seems a side effect of my surgery is that I got a cold-- a nasty one, too, that has me sounding like a frog (well, I think-- Steve at work and Shawn both said I sound pretty good) and blowing my nose all the time. Thankfully I have my own personal box of tissues, and no matter how big, I'm going to start bringing my Vaseline with me to work so my nose doesn't get TOO dry and red/flaky.

But I'm taking Zyrtec for the congestion, Vicodin for the horrid headaches from hell (hey, alliteration!), and Keflex for the general antibiotic. I feel like such a pill popper... :P

Also, it seems I couldn't get my new laptop today because my check hasn't cleared YET... but it will in... 47 minutes. Not that the Apple Store's open now, but that either means a) I can get up early... which I may do, just to get used to my new schedule starting this Thursday, and take a shower and head to the mall to get the new laptop so I can actually go to school with it... or b) be a bit more patient and wait until AFTER school so I can bring both the old laptop AND get the new one, so I can hang around the mall while they transfer the data from the old laptop to the new one. I think I should do b), no matter how gung-ho I am.

A few questions of random:
What do you think is more effective at school, a binder with tabs dividing each class, or a notebook for each class? I've always gone with the notebooks as of late, but plenty of classes have paperwork, so notebooks that DON'T function like binders (which is the majority of them, except that new "Flex" note-binder I saw at Rite-Aid last week) are useless. What do you use?

What do you think are the most flattering words to be called in reference to your appearance? (Girls only, please) I got to thinking about this because after the new shopping spree and my haircut, Baba (like grandmother, like father... my dad does this too) said that all the guys would be staring down the front of my (low-cut) shirt. Well, none of the guys at work did do that, but Zack surprisingly called my new haircut "cute." And only because I was so congested and miserable-feeling did I not go "squee!" on the spot. It's always nice to be complimented. But if I had to rate my squee, then here's my Top 5:
5. cute - not as in "fluffy kitten pink cloud" cute, but cute like attractive, but without all the syllables.
4. hot - always nice to feel sexy, yeah? (applies to all derivatives thereof, such as "hottie")
3. sexy - for someone that spent years thinking she'd die a virgin spinster, this one always makes me happy.
2. gorgeous - flattering, but it can sound somewhat plastic depending on the tone.
1. beautiful - the word just makes you feel wonderful inside and out, like nothing else can. And said the right way, it can do a whole lot more!

I got my NSCS gift card today-- it wasn't as large as I hoped (just $25), but it's money I didn't have before. Maybe I'll buy that "Diner Dash: Flo on the Go" game I saw at Game Stop the other day with it. I mean, I'm already going to be spending my own money on:
* new laptop (with no extra bells and whistles though-- the new default packaging for the MBP Core 2 Duo is fine by me)
* new iPod video (what color!? And should I get a dock...? Maybe I should wait till Christmas/Hanukkah)
* iLife and iWorks '08
* Renew my ProCare membership
* Casing for the computer, so I don't have any more "accidents"
That alone might get me close to the $2000 range, and since I only get paid once a month, I want to make sure everything STAYS in great condition

Today I learned that deadline means deadline, not one minute after. Even if my EIC was trying to show he had a sense of humor (and I doubt it, if he's anything like me... which most fellow journalism students seem to be in terms of "sense of humor," a quite scary thought) by threatening to drop my grade by 10% when the semester hasn't even started... well, I'm guessing they ARE anal about deadlines. 12:00 means 12:00, not 12:06. :P Well excuse me for being sick! On the bright side, I do have my other stories mostly done-- I'm waiting to hear back from a representative from the Klotz Student Health Center for my soda health article due on the 23rd, and then I have to contact people at the Topanga Canyon/Westfield mall and an astronomy teacher for the articles due on the 29th.

Just another reason to get to bed now so I can kick this cold that much sooner...

Okay, so when I left home this morning at 9:30 or so, my MBP was still backing up to my external HD. Everyone I know is saying it shouldn't take that long, but no one can seem to agree on how long it's SUPPOSED to take. For the record, my HD supposedly has 74.21 GB on it, and the external, a 250 GB Western Pacific MyBook, is attached via USB 2.0, which is SUPPOSED to transfer at a rate of 480 Mbps (Mb, as I learn =/= MB... it's about 8 times SLOWER). All the calculators I found online said it should take anywhere from 1-2.5 days, which it's been by now, I think, but azhp was saying it should only take a HALF hour, and my bosses at work are all saying it should have been done "by now," but that doesn't tell me much. I hope it IS done when I get home, though.

Anyway, the important things are music, pictures, my website stuff (including fanfics), and my programs. I think I've gotten the majority of those by now... and like I mentioned in my last post, it's not as if the computer is dead or really dying-- I just want to be sure/safe. (Funny how I can have that attitude about a computer, but not about certain other things...) Basically I'll end up a) giving the computer to Grandpa or b) selling it for parts, but where, I don't know. Apparently Apple doesn't do laptop trade-ins or recycling.

As for the new stuff, I can get the new MBP + $200 off a new iPod video, and it's cheaper to use my college discount as opposed to taking advantage of Sean's discount (though the temptation is strong, it's just not enough). I wish there was a way to ditch my old iPod Mini while I was at it, but I doubt that I can stack discounts (10% off a new iPod purchase with the trade-in of an old one) like that. Besides, I might as well keep the mini until it dies, right?

All of that good stuff won't be until mid-August at the earliest, since I turned down Baba giving me an "early" graduation present. I know that might sound stupid, but I'd rather get this with my own money so I have my own personal reasons for taking better care of it IMMEDIATELY. It's supposed to be an investment, not a present and not a toy.

Speaking of money and investments, I'm looking to get back on PayPerPost, but not here on LJ, since it's not allowed. Facebook now has a PPP referral app. which I've added, and since MySpace has blogs already, I might as well make use of that there. So check out both my profiles and I'll let you know once I get things running so we can ALL rake in the dough!

Other than that... only two hours and a half to go (huzzah), and I might be meeting up with Shawn again-- he got himself a car, which means we can probably meet up a lot more often. He finally came over for dinner last night (though he wasn't in the mood for anything hot, so he had CHEERIOS, of all things... actually, I made him a blitz-- he didn't mind it being charred-- and in making said blintzes, I got hot olive oil on my arm and chest, and now I have a nice blister on my left wrist. :P) and we hung out for a bit, played Katamari and FFX and he got me the Sun Sigil for Tidus' Caladbolg! All that's left now is the Saturn Sigil for Kimahri (damn butterfly game!), the World Champion for Wakka (more blitzball...?), and the Mars Sigil for Auron (more monster catching). SQUEE!

Speaking of the butterfly game, does anyone know:
a) if you can beat the Spherimorph again within a certain amount of time? I'm already near the end of the game when I can go to Sin/Omega Ruins, etc.
b) Where the butterflies ARE? I know there are north and south versions of the game... do you have to play them both to get the Saturn Sigil? Are there any maps of the butterfly locations? I can find about five or six in the loop area, near the bird man, but not the seventh one. HELP!? I've read there's a suggested route in the Ultimania Guide (one of the three, anyway), but I only have the Ultimania guides for FFX-2. Even if the FFX ones weren't out of print, I'm pretty sure there are scans of it SOMEWHERE on the 'Net, or someone who DOES have one, but the only place that was supposed to have them is gone. :( BOOYAH! MAPZ!

Fixing my tags right now. I think I should have some sort of tag master list somewhere (I mean besides the front page of my LJ) so I don't keep mangling my system.

Greetings from Philadelphia! My trip here was nothing if not eventful- our original flight departing from LAX was delayed from 11:45 till 12:30, and when we finally made it to Cincinnati, Ohio, we had JUST missed our connecting flight to Philadelphia, so we had to get rescheduled on two separate flights-- another Delta for half of us, and an earlier US Airways mini-jet for the other half (that's the one I was on). I fell asleep during the bulk of the first flight and the second, even though the second was significantly more uncomfortable. We had to wait once we got to PHL, and I ended up conking out near the baggage claim again. Even when everyone was reunited, our shuttle didn't show up on time even though we (and several other NSCS members) called-- so we split 2 taxis, and it ended up being cheaper.

The hotel is nice-- just unexpectedly small. Our rooms weren't ready, so we had to settle for a king-sized bedroom with FOUR people... so Juana (from CSUN) is sleeping on a chair with some cushion-chairs, and Melissa (from Holy Cross), Tiffany, and I are sharing the bed until the hotel sorts out our rollaway/extra bedding situation. They gave the option to go to the nearby Marriott, but considering us CSUN students are staying an extra night, that's not really an option.

We had a welcome ceremony of sorts for the Leadership Summit at 7:00, but after that the food selection was pathetic (hot dogs, Velveeta, and pizza), so we went out after a bit to Sonny's Famous Cheesesteaks and hung out there and ate for a while-- they had DELICIOUS cheesesteaks (though apparently their rep isn't as big as Gino's or Pat's) and fries. We watched some of "The Untouchables" (when was Kevin Costner that young!?) and then headed to Franklin's Fountain (an ice cream place) where I paid way too much for a peach melba parfait in a Chinese takeout box (which is apparently the original ice cream box). By then, I had a cramp (rag and all), but we hung out to talk a bit more with some of the other people that had come with us (roommates of the boys, mostly, and some friends of the girls' roommates) and then headed back.

After that, we hung out in the boys' room, where I ended up doing 2 tarot readings, one for Melissa and one for Melina-- they both seemed to think it was "creepy accurate." After a while, my voice got sore, and I decided to finally come back to the room, get Internet... talk to Shawn a bit (^_______^) and then go to bed, since I do have to wake up at 7:30 for breakfast just a bit after.

I spaced and totally forgot my resumes, but at least there's a business center so I can print them from this Mac. :D

Okay, so Glamour's July 2007 issue inspired me to stage an impromptu LJ quiz of sorts. This is meant for guys, but girls wishing to test their know-how are welcome to participate as well.

No cheating! Stick to this LJ page alone when answering the questions, and no, you can't call your girlfriend/sister/mother/cousin/etc. for help.

( Name that lady part! )

Hopefully I'll get a good variety of results, and I'll sort them out and then post them (don't worry, I won't name names! You don't even have to be logged in to take the test!)
Ladies, I highly recommend you check out Glamour's article on the subject "What men wish they knew about women's bodies."

I'm a horrible liar, thinking I can just move on with my life. Maybe it's pathetic of me to be so attached, but I don't think I can survive a month. Two days has been hell. Maybe I just need something to distract me. Like these songs.

I'm dreamin'/And dyin' inside/Just don't care anymore/Keep on sinkin'/Stayin' me.../Thought I was real/Thought I could feel/The walls crumbled/Time passes/And the world keeps on movin'/But I'm drownin'/Always sinkin'/In my own despair

Pathetic, ne? Reminds me of the Clementine song. Now THAT was eerie. Oh well, I write what I feel.

My life is told in the magazines/Hidden by flashes, my heart unseen/I try to smile/And pretend that it's ok/I'm living through another day/Scandals and heartbreak/Shockers and heartaches/All there for the world to see/I'm a million-and-one masks/Adaptin' to any situation/Never see the real me/I survive, hiding the pain/Dreamin' of the day/That shoulder I lean on.../Will finally stay/Be more than a faceless/Name to drop/I'm living... through another... day.

Ah, this one is strange... it's like a sad song for a celebrity whose live is always misinterpreted by tabloids. It kind of reminds me of "Lucky" (Britney Spears- *Shudder*) and of Pink's "Lonely Girl". Eh, go figure.

( Bleh... 2002-2003 Classes )

Oh, in better news... ^^ He talked to me~! We talked about everything and anything but the fact that we were broken up, or that day. But now it seems like we really are living up to that "unspoken" promise of staying friends. I really hope it lasts. =)

( Hoax or Opportunity? )

If you've read the title, you know what's coming. I shouldn't even have to say it... so I'm not going to. Today is Tuesday, August 13th, and it is 5:38pm. I am now single.

Since the weekend of April 27th, I was considered "taken" -- that is, I was going out with an intelligent, considerate, generous, sweet, and funny man of 19 years by the name of Joe.

In the beginning, I wasn't sure if I was in love with him... but I certainly liked the way I felt around him, and the way he made me feel-- about myself, my surroundings, and about everything.

In the past three months our relationship kept climbing those stairs to a new level... and we sort of reached that level today. Shortly thereafter, Joe looked downright uncomfortable... and I asked him flat out what was wrong. After what we had done, I had 75% of me screaming that if he didn't want to continue, then that meant he was going to -as I had feared the night previous, coming up with excuses as to why I didn't want to do The Deed- "use me and lose me." It had been a long 3 months of using and losing, and I know he could have done it in a far less expensive manner.

But that's not what happened at all. He'd gotten to the stage in our relationship where "the spark was gone," and the love he felt for me wasn't romantic in nature anymore. I appreciated -and still do- his honesty. He told me that his first relationship failed because both he and his then-girlfriend didn't want to admit to the failures in their relationship-- wanted to keep going for the sake of making out. But he appreciated and honored me as a friend so much that he told me this, and that he didn't want that happening to us. He'd been thinking about it for a few weeks now, trying to rekindle whatever he'd originally felt, but without success.
I tried not to cry, tried to ignore him holding me for a good twenty minutes. I finally got up off the couch, grabbed my shirt, and stalked to the bathroom. I looked like a wreck. I brushed my teeth till they bled (so what, I have sensitive gums) and then wiped my face clean. 'Crying is a weakness,' I told myself, brushing and setting my hair, and putting on my glasses. He was out there waiting for me when I came out-- I wasn't surprised. I would have been upset if he'd just up and left, or if I'd been stupid enough to be MAD at him for being honest and forthright, and kicked him out.

So I said, "If you want to talk, we'll talk." And we did-- in short, little two-minute bursts. He explained that we needed a break-- just a month or so. It wasn't me-- the classic line that no one believes anymore, but my already deprecating self-confidence swallowed it, hook line and sinker.

I seem to be more eloquent when I'm depressed, you notice?
He didn't want us to stop seeing each other-- but since he lived so far away, trying to maintain a relationship when he felt there was no more "spark" would just be a waste of his time and money. It probably will be a month until I see him next-- and I find myself a bit upset that sad songs and quotes keep popping into my head.

Things like "Friendship often ends in love, but love in friendship never," (HORSERADISH! I'm going to MAKE THAT STATEMENT FALSE!) and "What of the soul was left, when the kissing had to stop?" The 98 Degrees song, "The Hardest Thing [I'll Ever Have To Do]" and a2000a's "You're Original." Last night, I kept recalling the first time he kissed me-- and the first time my mom saw, and the look on her face was priceless. I remember the time I stayed at his house, and even when he was dead tired after all his party hosting, he held me in his arms like I was the most precious thing to him.

I believe him when he says that I was the farthest he ever got with a girl-- it's not a monumental achievement or whatever, but at least that means we've both gotten to certain stages in our romantic lives.

I asked him if he planned to see other people-- no... he wasn't sure. I tried to say I wouldn't be jealous, but I think in reality I would. I feel bad just for admitting this, when less than a month ago I was feeling awfully superficial about our relationship, almost ashamed that he wasn't a handsome Prince Charming, or some studly, mysterious bishounen out of a shoujo manga. But as time went by, I realized I didn't care about that-- anyone who does isn't looking past themselves either. In the beginning, I always asked Joe why he went out with me-- what in the world he saw in me, or why he found himself attracted to me. Whatever he felt, he couldn't put it into words. Maybe I'm being naive, and he really DID use me and lose me-- but I feel such a deep connection to him, even after he's left. It's not a goodbye-- it's a see you again next month. It's not I hate you, but thank you... for everything you've done... everything you've said, and everything you've given me the opportunity to feel.

And I miss him... as if he were gone for real, gone from my life. He's not, in reality... I know we'll see each other again. Soon, maybe. And if people say that we can't be friends, I'll prove them wrong. I'll find that someone out there who loves me for who I am, and who doesn't let "sparks" die. Maybe it'll be Joe still, and maybe it won't. I have to be optimistic.

I have to try and keep on living. Right now, I am moving on with my life.

Six years ago today-- on a Saturday, too, in fact, I got the worst news a ten year old could receive in her life. My half-sister Michelle died six years ago, and it changed who I was forever. I'm a different person because of it-- for better or for worse, and for the first time in all that time, I went to the place where she died.

It's called Land's End, and is basically a rounded cliffside that drops-- over 200 feet-- right into the Pacific Ocean. When Michelle died, it was shocking... unexpected, to say the least. She might have only been my half-sister, but she meant the world to me, and I had a hard time expressing it, because I was so childish. Like all people who lose someone, I had a million and one regrets-- things I wish I could have said, or could have taken back. I wish I could have apologized for that stupid argument the night before, wished I could have thanked her for all she'd ever done for me, and told her, above all, that I loved her.

Six years later, I'm still sad, but I guess the need to hide my sadness and loneliness isn't so great. My sister was the only one I could relate to about a lot of things, was the only one I could talk to when I had problems with boys, or mom, or my own friends. My mom didn't understand any of that.

When Michelle died, I felt the need to be strong for my mom-- not show any weakness. People passed by us, offering their apologies and condolences, but it all seemed so empty then. I kind of get irritated even now, when people get nervous just *asking* me about my sister, or when they do find out about her dying, say "sorry," as if it were their fault. I suppose it's only natural to react that way, since people who haven't experienced loss at such a young age (Michelle was only 19) don't know what to say-- they couldn't have known how it felt.

Over the years, there's a lot of things I wish I could talk to Michelle about... things I wish I could simply ask her, or maybe tell her. It tears at my conscience to try and imagine her voice in my head, and not come up with anything solid. All I have are memories, and they mean so much to me, good and bad alike.

When my sister died, there only seemed to be two people in my life who cared that *I* had lost someone too- my dad and my then-crush/boyfriend (if you can call it that in 5th grade, but that's another story), Chris. Chris is probably in Santa Cruz right now, doesn't even remember what DAY this is-- and we parted on bad terms, so I can't expect anything on his end. But I do kind of wish, even with all the hostility between my father and I that he would have called me today.

Even if he doesn't, in the last forty-five minutes there are LEFT of this day, I know that I take comfort in at least knowing that I *have* a father, whether he talks to me, thinks about me, cares about me at all, or not. I hope that he does call me one day-- or maybe write.

I know my sister didn't like him much-- even convinced me several times that my father was a downright bad person-- but now that both of them are out of my life, and Michelle is gone on a permanent basis, I can't help but want to talk to my father. If something happened to him, I'd still feel loss... regardless of us not talking in so long.

I'm glad my boyfriend was with me today. I found myself apologizing and saying thank you more times than I thought I would, and I especially thought he'd be uncomfortable with the whole idea of being with me on a day that held significance only for my mother and myself. We took a long walk all the way past the beach to Land's End, and just sat there for a while. I'm not ashamed anymore to say that I cried... I missed my sister, was angry at the world for taking her away from me, and was angry at myself for not saying what I should have that day six years ago. But the one thing that stays in my mind-- all this time-- is that you never know how much someone means to you until they are gone.

People hear that all the time, and never take it seriously enough. But it's true. People may lose grandparents, or distant relatives who die of old age, but when someone as young and close to you as a sister is suddenly *ripped* from your life, it's a greater shock than anyone can imagine. I told my boyfriend to go home today and tell his sister that he loved her. Even if she was mad, even if it didn't sound like he meant it, it would matter to her-- it would COUNT, in the end, regardless of how many days, weeks, months, or years passed between him saying that and the inevitability of death. 'It's the thought that counts' has never had more significance than now. So, unlike my other rant-like entries, I ask you, dear reader-- go home today-- or if you are home, leave this page, get up, and find a family member. Be it a mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, aunt, uncle... anyone. Walk up to them, hug them as tight as the both of you can stand, and tell them you love them. There doesn't need to be any celebration, or any explanation. But just telling them will make the day a bit brighter... even if it doesn't seem that way.

In a conversation with my friend and her boyfriend (he was on the phone with her) we commented that guys didn't even know what PMS was. Her boyfriend said that because my friend was mad, she must be PMSing, and I quote, "Call if you want to talk to me, don't if you don't want to waste your time..." Guys have this thing for redundancy.

Anyway, I'm thinking, why do all guys assume that when a girl is in a bad mood, she's "PMSing?" I swear, every guy on this planet forgets whatever they learned in Sex Ed promptly after they excel to the next grade level. So, for the uninformed, here goes-- PMS stands for Pre Menstrual Syndrome. It's what happens just BEFORE a girl gets the bloods, and slightly after she ovulates. Mood swings are just one common "side-effect" of PMS. But it has been proven (sorry, guys) that girls have more active brains than guys-- especially in the emotional centers of the brain.

Now that I think about it, this is probably why women suffer from road rage more than guys...
Anyway, guys just want a reason to either make girls angrier or to find some way to take the blame (of a girl being mad at him) off himself. PMS is the most common excuse-- it's short, easy to remember, and it applies to all girls at one time or another.

But that doesn't make it right or fair to pin three stupid letters on a girl when she's feeling upset, depressed, or angry. I've had my share of emotional times, some when I'm "PMSing" and some when I'm not. I hate it when guys don't even bother to ask what's wrong. Or say they do, maybe out of curiosity, maybe out of embarrassment-- I have also been known to cover what I feel up. I don't LIKE getting others involved where they don't have to, and I guess in the long run that's a bad thing for me.

But guys, please-- if you really WANT to know... if you even care about what a girl feels, don't ask her if she's PMSing. Don't accuse her of it, either. It's not nice, and it's stereotypical. The best response you'll get back is "Grow a pair!" because it shows guys are too cowardly to be even a little sensitive.

My friends still in the "badlands" of ROTC went to their spring encampment in Camp Parks this spring break. It's in Dublin, CA, which is even more notorious for rain and fog than San Francisco. Makes you wonder what the military was thinking when they put a base there, ne?
Anyway, so I'm all miserable before hand, thinking... man, all my friends are going to be gone for four days... I'm all alone...

On Friday (the day that started Spring Break and the day after they left for Dublin) I was dying my hair the first time around, and I was phenomenally late to the anime Screening. But when I got there, it was pouring rain, so I walked out with the guys (including his truly, the baka I seem to still like on some proto-cellular level) and went to Mickey D's... even though I'd been there myself earlier, and lost my appetite somehow and didn't even finish one of my two burgers or my super-bland fries (what have they done to my McD's fries!?). So I got a ride home, and the sense of humor was hovering above PATHETIC, so... yeah. But at least aforementioned guy seemed to like my dye-job, which was in two cute pigtails, courtesy of my soph friend who did the job in the first place... even though my roots were lighter than the rest of my hair >_<

But the friend from another high school that had thus showed up (even when I was mad at him) to the screenings was at camp, and when he finally IMs me a week later, it turns out he stood IN THE RAIN for an hour and a half and he got me a gift... ;_; Now he's got the flu. What's more, I was regretting not going (can you hear it coming? Here it is...) BUT a goose flew into the power generator, turned into roast goose, and blew the power to the entire base, so everyone spent all night taking attendance, rather than partying for the brigade dance! (Insert Nelson (r) Simpson laugh) Hah-hah! I felt kinda bad for my friend who was quarantined through this, and I'm still tripping about this gift he was so careful not to break... Aaah, I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to Friday or what.

Some days just go your way... you're on a roll you can't explain... and then it all goes down the drain. -Meredith Brooks "Some days"

Boy, I know the feeling. These past two months, my astro house has been in shambles, my real house is on a shaky (figurative) foundation, and school... sucks.

I'm in a pessimistic mood, but as the time when I lost my wallet and got it back (intact!) again, part of my faith in myself and humanity is restored.

I've been miserable since yesterday when I broke out to one of my friends that I was hating everything around me, including and most especially school, and that I was terrified of going back to the AP class I'd cut before because I never understood anything- even when I did the reading and such. He promised me he'd show up today to help me out... and he didn't. Again, with the trust issue.

Today was okay, 'cept yesterday left me a bit shaken, so when I woke up I was in quiet-grump mode. My mom was freaked that I'd left the house without a word to her.

Then, of the worst things to happen, the newspaper I'd been slaving over with a few of my friends (the one for the school) just... *poofed*

My friend luckily found a TMP file that restored the old (and I mean OLD) hard copy, but all the recent work-- the horoscopes, entertainment, and feature articles were lost. I was moping, crying... (yes, even though I promised myself in 7th grade I would never cry in public again) generally being very upset... until I remembered that I saved the article that I'd rewritten on the web! I'm happier than I should be, I suppose.
Tomorrow is the question-- I'll be meeting up at DH... and I kinda don't want to see "that guy" again... you know, the one that might have a crush on me, and yet is my linkup between MY crush and me... *sigh* Why is life so damn complicated? I think I'll snag some cash from mom (after I sweet her up by doing all the dishes in one sitting) and get myself a crepe... and maybe the latest Peach Girl manga. ^^ I'm trying to smile, really I am...