MILES to GO || before I sleep

Permit me to have a completely Valley Girl moment, totally unworthy of my San Francisco roots or my current "O.C." status.

O RLY!?
Like, omg, I know that Ben Wildman Tobriner guy who is so hot and swimming in the Olympics and is all chummy with Michael Phelps! Like, I totally sat behind him (well, three seats behind him) in gym in middle school! OMG!

Fer sure. (YA, RLY.)

So, Ben W-T's gotten himself to the Olympics, eh? Good on him. Funny how you can think you (or other people) really change a lot from "the old days" (no portion of middle school was "good" for me, save meeting schmollieollie), but he looks just like he did back then, except... more hair. And taller (damn him and his height *jealous*)!

NO WAI!
The guy's got himself on YouTube, has his own domain name (well... so do I! PEH!), and is talked about EVERYWHERE, now that the Olympics are the buzz. I wouldn't be surprised if he's got himself a fanclub too, the way Phelps does (and Phelps has a freakin' fangirl in an AT&T commercial. That's pretty amazing for a swimmer, I think. That's not saying anything bad about swimmers or swimming, it's just that it wasn't really until Phelps came along that people started paying attention to the players the way they have been doing for basketball, football, and baseball. Phelps is now a household name, and it'd be kind of funny if "Ben W-T" became one, too).

I just hope if Presidio Middle School (yes, PMS) ever has any kind of a reunion, he bothers to make an appearance and doesn't swagger in with all his medals hanging off (with his stethoscope as well-- the guy's going to become a doctor after he pursues his swimming career --wherever it may lead him--, and with his drive, I don't doubt he will, and probably break records doing that too). I hope he bothers to remember those of us that he stepped on that might not have our name in lights or engraved on medals or whatnot, but know him and think he rocks just the same. I did for much of middle school, and I respect him now.

...I wonder if he'd recognize me?

Well, I'm brunette again. It's weird-- considering I've kind of gotten *used* to being a strawberry-blonde... or whatever mesh of colors you could call my former hair color. I dyed it specifically for a convention I wanted to attend in Late April, but did the dye job at the end of March, because I wanted to go back to school 'new.' I made the awful (well, sort of) mistake of using two boxes-- since the first time around, my hair was a rusty red, rather than the Nicole Kidman-blonde I'd hoped for. So on the night before school started again from Spring Break, I bought another box of dye (when my mom wasn't home) and did it again, leaving it on well over triple the amount of recommended time. But those silly strand tests never work, and the chunks of hair I took out always made my hair look uneven anyway. By the time the convention rolled around, I wasn't really a blonde by definition anymore (if I ever had been, I'm not entirely sure) but I still fit the parts I wanted to play just fine.

Why the sudden change? People liked my new hair color, even if it took them a while to get used to it. The first comment of my chemistry class was "Oh my god... is she trying to be HK?" Of course not. Some people look good with blonde hair-- some don't. ^^; For a long while, I was one of those who didn't-- but as my roots came back and my hair became redder, people said it suited me. Though my mom wasn't slow to point out that due to my ultra-pale complexion, my original dark-brown-almost-black was a far better color for me. So, since my senior portraits are at the end of this month, my mom wanted me to look my best, and so I went back to my original color.

The good news is I like it-- the color seems darker than it was originally, but now I feel more comfortable choosing my clothes-- I don't have to worry about my pale complexion and tri-colored hair making me look odd. The strange part is, of course, that I dyed my hair in the first place to be different. Not so much to be noticed, but just to be different. I succeeded on that end-- with some odd results. Since dyeing my hair, several people talked to me-- surprised that I would go so far. I've never been meek or shy in any way, but I suppose there's a fine line between being outspoken and being outrageous. I don't think I'll be losing my social skills any time soon just because I re-dyed my hair. Of course, people will notice-- namely, my boyfriend, who hasn't known me with my dark hair, and has only caught glimpses of pictures (and I was feeling rather lousy when he said he liked me with my reddish hair) of me with it. Oh well. ^^
I've also made some rather interesting discoveries about myself-- though having nothing to do with my hair color.

For starters, my three favorite snacks are Wheat Thins, Goldfish Crackers, and Yan-Yan/Pocky. The first two are healthy to a degree, and the last two are "highly addictive." I used to like Mashuga Nuts (the brown-sugar walnut ones) but since they're so hard to find (like Bubbie's Pickles, even though they're MADE here) they're sort of a rare treat. Mom got me a pack of chocolate ones, and you can't eat them without milk. *grin*

Another thing is that I have a love for decorating. I've been looking forward to going to Pier 1 Imports for the longest time; Feng Shui (and astrology) are favorite hobbies of mine, and I find myself reading magazines that "normal" teens wouldn't touch-- Barbie Bazaar (nothing to do with decorating, unless you're a demi-collector like myself) and Family Circle. ^^

Last, but not least, I really have found a variety of journalists and teachers who I admire and aspire to be like. There's my exuberant summer school English (and regular-term yearbook) teacher, Ms. Tay, who has such an outgoing fun personality, but with a snap-like bite to her, it makes me think of spiced Cheetos. Very odd. I also love watching John Stossel, Barbara Walters, Diane Sawyer, and have recently heard of the Hispanic talk-show sensation, Cristina. It just enforces my dream of becoming a journalist-- though I'm not entirely sure WHAT kind yet-- maybe broadcast, maybe print (magazine? newspaper?). I might even (and this was my original idea) want to go back to my high school and TEACH Journalism there, as a real, accredited teacher, rather than an English teacher that had an extra class slot to fill.

I just hope this kind of motivation and aspiration stays with me all year long.

Just a random collection of my "of the moment" thoughts and stuff... actually a day or so old. But enjoy anyway. ^^

Movie of the Moment: Kate and Leopold - two thumbs up, very romantic, though a tad predictable by the end. Gotta love the guy who played 'Leopold' though. And Brekin Mayer was in it too! YAY!

Thought of the Moment: Believe in fairy tales. Without them, inspiration is lost, dreams are banished, and one has no sense of hope. Cinderella had to come from someone's imagination and belief, didn't she?

Advice of the Moment: Do as I say, not as I do. Parents should all wear tattoos on their forehead with this on it. Such hypocrites. I'm sure I will be too, if I ever get roped into bonking a guy and having kids. Can't you tell, I'm in a bit of a pessimistic mood.

Books of the Moment: Asleep (Banana Yoshimoto), Kokology (Nagao Tadahiko) -- don't worry, both are in English! The first one's a fiction book which is really intriguing and great to read before bed (read it and you'll see why) and the second one is a 'game of self-discovery,' that, while more focused on adults, is great for mind-stimulated teens as well.

Colors of the moment: Blue-violet and navy - these colors of endless night. Night isn't black for me, it's a nice purply-blue, and I wish I could go on a road trip, lie in the back of a pickup truck and stare at the stars for hours. I need a break, and I haven't even reached the stress levels of last year. *laughs*

CD of the moment: Dido, No Angel. I don't know why, but her music is really appealing to me now. If you've never heard it before, you should listen to it. She's not just "Roswell" soundtrack, you know.

Fright of the Moment: That I know my friends a lot less than I think I do, and that maybe I have these hidden prejudices that I can't get rid of, deny, or hide any longer...

Food of the moment: Those crepes with strawberry and cream were soo yummy I had to try and make my own... of course, I don't have the proper flat-turning-thingamabob that the people at Sophie's Crepes use, so ;_;

Amazing thing of the moment: I actually attempted to draw something that I had thought of, and it turned out almost exactly like I wanted it to!

Wish of the moment: To be able to write and complete fanfiction (decent too) for the "Return to ASMR Punch!" and the FY Fanfiction challenge. I'm just waiting for that bolt of inspirational lightning to hit me... *holds up long metal rod*

Show of the moment: Alias. Can't get enough of Sidney Bristow, Will Tippin, and of course *dreamy sigh* Michael Vaughn *drool*

Songs of the moment: I actually made up two songs after I came back from my spontaneous trek to "Kate and Leopold" last night-- "Believe in Fairy Tales" (see above) and "Promises Are Nothing [To You]." The latter has absolutely nothing to do with the movie.

Goal of the moment: Write, clean, and stick to all of the above.

Desire of the moment: to sleep and wish I had no problems. Oh well... ZZZZZ

This is a list of, as the title implies, very random excerpts. From everywhere and anywhere-- people's email or BB signatures, AIM away messages, fortune cookies... this is probably only edition 1. ^^ I hope these brighten your day.

( Queen of Random! )

"Do you think human society could ever exist without war? Or is violence between nations and cultures inevitable?" --The theme of May 20th's Diary starters, or whatever they're called.

Actually, I had been thinking about this for some time. But before I begin my traditional rant, the title-- Unmei Kaihem means "Altering Fate" in Japanese (or so the subtitles said). Any anime fans out there? You may have heard that line in Tenkuu no Escaflowne, or The Vision of Escaflowne. Very good anime, if I do say so myself. But that's a matter of opinion.

Anyway, I relate that storyline (of Esca) to this week's theme because in it, there are two opposing forces: one is looked upon as evil, the other as good. One's whole homeland was destroyed, and they aim to prevent the same fate from being met all around the world. It all takes place on an Earth-like planet called Gaea, which cannot be seen from Earth. It was created by the legendary Atlanteans, who used the powers of their wills to create a perfect peace. But it was *too* perfect, for their own wills brought about destruction. The few that survived created a world, Gaea, and put the last remnants of their powers inside the planet, linking it to the lost world of Atlantis. The descendants of the Atlanteans are looked upon as cursed.

The other side is lead by, amazingly enough, Issac Newton. The story tells that Issac came to Gaea, searching for a way to explain 'destiny' or 'fate'. How can one can control fate? Like time, death, or gravity, destiny is a force which cannot be seen, and cannot be stopped. He became the leader of a war torn country known as Zaibach, and forever altered their history.

Step one. Now, step two, destroying in order to achieve peace. Isn't that all war is? I know it might annoy you to have me continually refer to the anime, but it's true, what the creators of Escaflowne were trying to say. People fight people, even those linked with a common goal. Human selfishness and greed overcome the desire for peace, and even if all of those emotions are rooted in the need to protect those you love, it's still not justified.

Issac Newton asked the heroine of the story: do the people wish for war? Is it so inevitable, that the destruction cannot simply be a cornerstone for peace, but a beginning of the same destruction that brought havok to Atlantis? Is it IN mankind's fate to destroy itself?

Suicide, homicide, genocide. So many words having to do with death. Humanity desperately tries to make up for its sins by inventing community service, therapy, and psychologists. But within us all is a deep need or desire, and that good and pure emotion, whatever it may be, can be the start of emotions that will lead the entire world into chaos.

You know how it is said that one person cannot make a difference? Take a lot of "one persons" and then you have a lot of people, who do make a difference when it comes to safety and protection.

How many people can claim that they are truly proud of something? Not anything material or physical, but proud of something existent nonetheless? Like of their heritage, their culture? Their family, their nation, their community? Their school, their beliefs or faith? The list can go on and on, but everyone knows that within each person, resides at least ONE of the Seven Deadly Sins. Hah. Doubt should be on that list. Each person doubts that everything around them is stable and solid, and will last forever, because we know-- whether from experience or from what we've heard-- that it isn't. Nothing is forever. We "reassure" ourselves that isn't just US that will end, but the whole world, the whole universe. Yes, one day, the universe will explode, the sun will lose its energy. It's all very depressing.

War is a colorful paint that strokes its way across every culture. It makes up the people, their emotions and pride, the tiniest things they never think about. Society depends on such a horrible thing, no matter who it is with.

But the long run is, no one truly wins with war. People die. It is inevitable. When is the question.

ADDENDUM: Present Tense Note: This was a separate entry, added on the same date (this one) on my FOD. I combined them since they're on the same topic and this addendum is short, anyway)

I'd like to add that several people who also wrote about this week's theme mentioned that war cannot exist unless people learn to control anger, aggression, and other similar "fuels to the fire". Why is humanity so unique? Why does it seem so incredible that *we* exist on this planet, it in the middle of a vastness that is impossible to explore?

Even if you go on to ask, "Are there others out there?" you still have to remember, even if there are, no matter what they are like, we are unique individuals simply because of the fact that we are not collective thinkers.

Anyone here a Trekkie? The Borg are a "race" of people who think collectively. There is no war. They desire perfection, but no one is individual. There is no aggression, or love, or any emotion at all, because everyone thinks together. All thoughts are one. Everyone is assimilated. Without individuality, yes, maybe we'd have peace, but then, we'd still have a desire for something, a need. And that would be the spark that could start the bonfire once more.

War. Is. Inevitable. That is why we are here. Life is a cycle, a circle of life... whatever you call it. Higher power or no, we at least can see that.