Highly motivated, truly dedicated... NOT!
Nov. 1st, 2001 04:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteSigh. November already. And I thought last year was bad, January and then May sneaking up on me so fast. Finals, SATs, PSATs, college searching... ai-yi-yi!
Okay, so I'm only a junior. Sure, I should be taking classes seriously, participating and all that... getting volunteer credits and improving my rusty skills... but I can't.
Now wait, before you brand me Miss Excuses 2001... I have an excuse. Not a good one, mind you, but an excuse. I absolutely suck at doing stuff. I mean, I can't motivate myself to do homework afterschool. I'll do the reading, and sometimes I'll do the essays or whatnot-- I ALWAYS show up to school-- but when it comes time for the big papers, where you have to turn in an outline with a thesis, and then a revised outline, a rough draft... gawd, I'd rather just sleep. Or sit in front of a computer and type in my online diary... if you get my drift.
So, back in Freshman year, when I used to be a total suck-up, and Sophomore year, when I was a rebel with a cause and some pretty warped teachers, I did my work, and I got the grades.
First grading period says I have mostly Bs, one C in Math, and a few scattered As. But this time, I KNOW it's not my fellow classmates, or a psycho teacher bringing me down. I just don't do the work. Before, I was absent like, every Monday, so I just copied what I missed from a friend.
But I knew that was bad, and I told her not to let me do it again. I want to stick to that-- not cave. That's just the kind of person I am... I can write so fluently in my diary, or debate up a storm, but when I have to write essays, do worksheets, gather materials, I freeze, I forget... I procrastinate. I've tried Feng Shui-ing my room, tried getting it a little clean... tried to avoid the distractions like gaming and webpage designing here at school... but I just can't do it.
How do I get motivated? My mom told me this morning that if I didn't go to school, the one convention I love attending wouldn't happen. Thusly, I hauled my ass out of bed and got up. But she left before I did. I had two choices-- go back to sleep, or go to school. Already being awake, and intent on going to school "because it was right" I did just that. But I didn't go to first. I'm sitting here in one of my later classes, with a computer and freedom abound... NOT doing my work.
Sigh... back to square one.
Okay, so I'm only a junior. Sure, I should be taking classes seriously, participating and all that... getting volunteer credits and improving my rusty skills... but I can't.
Now wait, before you brand me Miss Excuses 2001... I have an excuse. Not a good one, mind you, but an excuse. I absolutely suck at doing stuff. I mean, I can't motivate myself to do homework afterschool. I'll do the reading, and sometimes I'll do the essays or whatnot-- I ALWAYS show up to school-- but when it comes time for the big papers, where you have to turn in an outline with a thesis, and then a revised outline, a rough draft... gawd, I'd rather just sleep. Or sit in front of a computer and type in my online diary... if you get my drift.
So, back in Freshman year, when I used to be a total suck-up, and Sophomore year, when I was a rebel with a cause and some pretty warped teachers, I did my work, and I got the grades.
First grading period says I have mostly Bs, one C in Math, and a few scattered As. But this time, I KNOW it's not my fellow classmates, or a psycho teacher bringing me down. I just don't do the work. Before, I was absent like, every Monday, so I just copied what I missed from a friend.
But I knew that was bad, and I told her not to let me do it again. I want to stick to that-- not cave. That's just the kind of person I am... I can write so fluently in my diary, or debate up a storm, but when I have to write essays, do worksheets, gather materials, I freeze, I forget... I procrastinate. I've tried Feng Shui-ing my room, tried getting it a little clean... tried to avoid the distractions like gaming and webpage designing here at school... but I just can't do it.
How do I get motivated? My mom told me this morning that if I didn't go to school, the one convention I love attending wouldn't happen. Thusly, I hauled my ass out of bed and got up. But she left before I did. I had two choices-- go back to sleep, or go to school. Already being awake, and intent on going to school "because it was right" I did just that. But I didn't go to first. I'm sitting here in one of my later classes, with a computer and freedom abound... NOT doing my work.
Sigh... back to square one.
