Darwinism in high school

Darwinism is the philosophy that the strongest survive-- the survival of the fittest, really. And in high school, it's a dog-eat-dog world. Or maybe I should say eagle-eat-eagle?

Anyway, so today during registry (homeroom) I'm reading the bulletin as per usual (just so the dipwads in there can't complain to me if they didn't receive such and such form or hear some message). I note this part about a girl named "Luyin Zhu" who received a $1500 scholarship. There's a quiet girl in my class by the name of "Li Hua Zhu" and, well... ^///^ I got them mixed up. Major embarrassment. When Sara, a friend of Li Hua's started shaking her head at me, I should have shut up. I know Luyin-- she was in ROTC with me. So I'll be cursing myself until I die: baka baka baka baka baka!

My friend brought a puppy stuffed animal to school today, and lent it to a mutual friend of ours who's in my math class. This mutual friend was really out of it these past few days, and I couldn't get her to give a peep of info on what was wrong. Knowing that life can sometimes just *sucks* I didn't persist-- but it was getting annoying how I had to start solving all these equations on my own... and we had less than 15 minutes to find a reasonable solution and post it! She finally 'fessed up and said there were some issues at home-- nothing really clear, but I got it. But meanwhile, while she was stared off into space, I dognapped the puppy and squealed "Puppy!" at the nearest group. They stared at me for a minute and a half, and then I hid my face behind the pup and laughed. -_-;;

The guy that I used to like and now am starting to detest because of his immaturity (go back two entries and see what I mean) sent me an email via the mailing list we're both on-- the one for the anime club at the local state university (that he's the new prez of). He sounded so damn intelligent in there, I wanted to wring his neck!! So I'm going tonight to this first meeting in months, and I know he'll be there. I have other friends there, its true, but I was so mad at him this weekend, and he was being such a f**king jerk that I really don't know how I'll react. I know so far I've been a bit bubble-headed in that I'm out to look good (I've donned the black leather motif again, with the theme: Dark Fire) and knock the socks off this @$$. A white silk dress shirt with french cuffs, mega-maroon lipstick, brilliant eyes, leather pants and jacket, silver bracelet and blue crystal earrings... and my nice rose-patterned, see-through shirt under that, with a sky blue tank underneath. Too far? /.\ Stupid boys. The damn DDR song "So Many Men" has been stuck in my head for a while now...

And if that wasn't the worst of the worst, lately I've been so tired when I get home that I fall asleep and don't wake up until some ungodly hour of the morning when it's too late to do my homework! What's more, my stupid computer keeps on starting up showing my old desktop, trying to start up programs (different each time I boot up) that don't exist (I checked) and changing all my *.txt and *.doc files into gibberish! AAAUGH! -_- I love computers, but they suck too... ;_;

Suddenly I feel as if I've gone waaaaay off topic... kekke...

Planning Ahead...?

Since I've started this miserable school year, I've promised myself bigger and better things-- I won't bite off more than I can chew for assignments and classes; I will keep my room clean so I have a good study area; I will designate time for TV and Internet surfing.

A counselor came into my English class this morning to divvy out the sheets where we decide our classes for next year-- my final year at this school.

As corny as it sounds, something I heard from one of my fav shows, Smallville, rings astoundingly true. Lana Lang's mother delivered a controversial graduation speech as the valedictorian for her class of '70-something: "I may not have made a difference here, but maybe my kids will." Now I don't think I'll ever make it as far as valedictorian-- I'll be lucky if I pass this year (bad me)-- but I'm a cut above some other people I know-- and used to be friends with. But I've always wanted to go out with a bang-- and high school is the bang that has to be bigger than the rest. It may be small to everyone else, but leaving high school without having touched alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs, and as weird as this sounds, keeping my virginity-- well, it's a big deal. College is usually associated with toga parties, lots of sex and all that, but I really want to go somewhere with my life, because lots of teens, like me, don't want to end up anything like their parents-- even if they can't see themselves ever being that old. (hehe)

So I'm going to sign up for the next SAT-- my PSAT scores show that I can get a 1500 if I really apply myself-- and I know I should. I don't think I'll go to a UC, even though I might have AP credit at the end of the year (assuming I study tons between now and May)-- because none of the UCs have the courses I want. The local state college does, and so does one in Northridge, near my estranged grandparents (the only members of my dad's side of the family that I don't hate), though. So...? As long as I get away from my mom, really, even though that's a dumb reason.

I took the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) test earlier in January, and got my results in February. The "official" results just came in yesterday, and a guy from the National Guard who's pretty friendly to me told me that if I was seriously interested in Journalism (which I am) that I should go up to Fairfax (or was it Fairfield?) and check out the drill ceremonies-- that's where the officers who are already doing journalism are. They get to travel around the world, and because they're volunteering their time in the armed services, they get paid-- so if I do that during the summer between my junior (this year) and senior year (assuming I don't have to attend summer school) then I might have $1000+ by the end of August, when I start school up again. Wow. But again, there's the military aspect-- I don't know if I could survive basic training... ;_; I sound like a total chicken, but this is one of those things you have to be totally sure about, because once your in-- there's no turning back.

When it comes to next year's classes, I've opted for 12th grade regular European Lit. (versus AP) because I don't think I could handle that much work for English. Especially now since all the teachers that were supposed to retire AREN'T, I don't want to be stuck with the homeroom-teacher-who-loves-me as my English-teacher-who-hates-me. Meanwhile, I'm striving for AP Chemistry, because it's worth two units (one full year) in college... but I might have turned in the form late. What's more, there's a mandatory test for it, and teacher's approval, along with the dept. head... O.o If I don't get in. I'll just take another year of Math (I can either take 3 years of math -already done- and 2 years of science -also already done- or 2 years of math -already done- and 3 years of science -if I take a science next year... hence the confusion) aaah!

Then, there's regular Democracy/Economics. AP is a no-no for that, despite the value of getting both macro and microecomics in one package-- the Democracy half is honors, so that would make up for the non-AP in English... a major no-no, because I get easily stressed. Then comes a possibility-- I could take Culinary Geography, a new course which counts for Social Studies (history credit) but doesn't count worth two cents in college... though I don't plan on going to a UC anyway... and it all really depends on where I apply and get accepted. Yeah, but cooking for class sounds kinda fun, especially if it's cultural. Plus, the teacher seems nice. There's also the option of Psychology -regular or AP with another humorous teacher due to retire the summer of '03. So...? I also need a visual and performing arts, and I'm leaning towards Show Choir, known as VocalEase at my school, which is the intermixed choir. I tried out last year and made it in, but my class schedule this year prevented me from taking it... which sucks because I'd be getting in per audition... and the relationships that you forge aren't as stable. I'm still going to stick in Journalism... that makes a grand total of six classes. Depending on what I choose for History, whether I take Chem or IMP 7 (as I fondly call it, "Math for Dummies"), and if I take that extra year of Japanese (which I really want to do so I can go to Japan next year... ^^)... well, I have one class free, so I can either sleep in (YAY!) or take Creative Writing (wonder who's teaching it?) or maybe something else... but I have had a hard enough time this year with one AP, so more than one (like Psych) might be iffy. I don't know. So many choices, and now... so little time.