To Prom or not to Prom, that is the Question

Hm. I'm a sophomore, soon to be a junior. (shudder. gotta love the way highschoolers are portrayed: freshmen are small shrimps, the underclassmen, who are "fresh" and easy... hence "Freshman Friday", Sophomore means "idiot", Junior means "small" and senior means "old") Maybe next year my lousy class (sorry, we are-- no spirit, and our idea of fun is writing bitch lists in the bathrooms) will have a Junior Prom, but my friend is posing the question: if someone asked me this week, would I go to prom?

The thing is, there's this guy who's been after me for a while. He's gotten beyond the point of being perverted and annoying, but lately, he's been hanging out with my friend and her "genius" gang (I'm a genius too, but I'm too engrossed with the internet to sit on the floor and eat my lunch). ^^; In any case, after a skating excursion over winter break, I'm pretty sure this guy fell for one of my friend's friends. Let's call her B. My friend is A.

So, the situation: Guy who used to like me seems to like A's friend, B. YAY! So he asks her to prom. Today, when I'm not here (boy, I picked a fine day to have a migraine-ish headache). Shucks. But I sorely hope she accepts.

Then, A IMs me, saying what she told B to do. "YES, of course!" Then she goes on to say that it is every teenage girl's *dream* to go to the prom, and who wouldn't go if asked by a senior?

I would, I say to her. What? she replies. I think that if I saw her face, it would be akin to one of those AIM smilies with the mouth hanging open. O_O --maybe like that.

In any case, since my 8th grade dinner dance, I haven't liked dances very much. I used to be (and I mean this seriously, no matter how dumb it sounds) head over heels in love with this guy I met when I was in 3rd grade. We were friends up to 5th grade, when he transferred after schools. I stopped going to after schools, and then my sister died. He was there for me, the only one there for me and me alone, during the funeral. But once middle school started, he decided popularity was more important than me. He became cold and uncaring, and I was, right back. Without my sister, that's what I let myself become. I suppose I still am, a bit, today, but that's another story.

He was at that dance, and pretty much teased or ignored me. Not fun. Loud music, expensive food, and everyone getting paired off with everyone else made me miserable. Dancing with my guy friend led me to shouting at one of my better girlfriends, something which I still regret to this day. I hate dances.

But prom? Yes, I suppose A has a point. How fun would it be to look back, and not have that prom picture, that prom candle, that prom gown? To say, oh yeah, *I* went to prom? I mean, it does have some significance. By I seriously doubt my appeal to any guy, and I doubt it will change even by the time I am 18, and able to go to senior prom with whoever *I* choose.

The one guy I let myself fall for after the first guy was a senior. I hated him, loved him, hated him, liked him, and then all over again. A said it was a "love-hate" relationship, except he had no clue about it until after he left. I think. In any case, I survived the year by biting my lip and praying that A's little "what if" might come true: maybe he'd ask me to the prom. Hah. Never happened. It can't happen this year; he's not a senior and neither am I. And even if, by some longshot, he does show up in my senior year (and I'm still single, which I most likely will be) I'd never be able to ask him to the prom. And he'd never ask me.
End of story, case closed.
*sigh*

Unmei Kaihem

"Do you think human society could ever exist without war? Or is violence between nations and cultures inevitable?" --The theme of May 20th's Diary starters, or whatever they're called.

Actually, I had been thinking about this for some time. But before I begin my traditional rant, the title-- Unmei Kaihem means "Altering Fate" in Japanese (or so the subtitles said). Any anime fans out there? You may have heard that line in Tenkuu no Escaflowne, or The Vision of Escaflowne. Very good anime, if I do say so myself. But that's a matter of opinion.

Anyway, I relate that storyline (of Esca) to this week's theme because in it, there are two opposing forces: one is looked upon as evil, the other as good. One's whole homeland was destroyed, and they aim to prevent the same fate from being met all around the world. It all takes place on an Earth-like planet called Gaea, which cannot be seen from Earth. It was created by the legendary Atlanteans, who used the powers of their wills to create a perfect peace. But it was *too* perfect, for their own wills brought about destruction. The few that survived created a world, Gaea, and put the last remnants of their powers inside the planet, linking it to the lost world of Atlantis. The descendants of the Atlanteans are looked upon as cursed.

The other side is lead by, amazingly enough, Issac Newton. The story tells that Issac came to Gaea, searching for a way to explain 'destiny' or 'fate'. How can one can control fate? Like time, death, or gravity, destiny is a force which cannot be seen, and cannot be stopped. He became the leader of a war torn country known as Zaibach, and forever altered their history.

Step one. Now, step two, destroying in order to achieve peace. Isn't that all war is? I know it might annoy you to have me continually refer to the anime, but it's true, what the creators of Escaflowne were trying to say. People fight people, even those linked with a common goal. Human selfishness and greed overcome the desire for peace, and even if all of those emotions are rooted in the need to protect those you love, it's still not justified.

Issac Newton asked the heroine of the story: do the people wish for war? Is it so inevitable, that the destruction cannot simply be a cornerstone for peace, but a beginning of the same destruction that brought havok to Atlantis? Is it IN mankind's fate to destroy itself?

Suicide, homicide, genocide. So many words having to do with death. Humanity desperately tries to make up for its sins by inventing community service, therapy, and psychologists. But within us all is a deep need or desire, and that good and pure emotion, whatever it may be, can be the start of emotions that will lead the entire world into chaos.

You know how it is said that one person cannot make a difference? Take a lot of "one persons" and then you have a lot of people, who do make a difference when it comes to safety and protection.

How many people can claim that they are truly proud of something? Not anything material or physical, but proud of something existent nonetheless? Like of their heritage, their culture? Their family, their nation, their community? Their school, their beliefs or faith? The list can go on and on, but everyone knows that within each person, resides at least ONE of the Seven Deadly Sins. Hah. Doubt should be on that list. Each person doubts that everything around them is stable and solid, and will last forever, because we know-- whether from experience or from what we've heard-- that it isn't. Nothing is forever. We "reassure" ourselves that isn't just US that will end, but the whole world, the whole universe. Yes, one day, the universe will explode, the sun will lose its energy. It's all very depressing.

War is a colorful paint that strokes its way across every culture. It makes up the people, their emotions and pride, the tiniest things they never think about. Society depends on such a horrible thing, no matter who it is with.

But the long run is, no one truly wins with war. People die. It is inevitable. When is the question.

ADDENDUM: Present Tense Note: This was a separate entry, added on the same date (this one) on my FOD. I combined them since they're on the same topic and this addendum is short, anyway)

I'd like to add that several people who also wrote about this week's theme mentioned that war cannot exist unless people learn to control anger, aggression, and other similar "fuels to the fire". Why is humanity so unique? Why does it seem so incredible that *we* exist on this planet, it in the middle of a vastness that is impossible to explore?

Even if you go on to ask, "Are there others out there?" you still have to remember, even if there are, no matter what they are like, we are unique individuals simply because of the fact that we are not collective thinkers.

Anyone here a Trekkie? The Borg are a "race" of people who think collectively. There is no war. They desire perfection, but no one is individual. There is no aggression, or love, or any emotion at all, because everyone thinks together. All thoughts are one. Everyone is assimilated. Without individuality, yes, maybe we'd have peace, but then, we'd still have a desire for something, a need. And that would be the spark that could start the bonfire once more.

War. Is. Inevitable. That is why we are here. Life is a cycle, a circle of life... whatever you call it. Higher power or no, we at least can see that.