I State For The Record
Aug. 4th, 2004 12:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteMen can know all they want about women, but unless you ARE one, you will never know what it is like to have a period.
If I am reading Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction, I do not need you to tell me that Honda = Tristan, Anzu = Téa, and so on. Anyone stupid enough to be in the Yu-Gi-Oh fandom and NOT know the equivalent names doesn't have the right to be reading fanfiction anyway. They need to do a bit more RESEARCH first.
If I am reading ANY sort of fanfiction, especially that from an anime (or otherwise Japanese-origin) fandom, I do not want to see your foolish "fangirl Japanese" littering the pages, including such easily-translated words as Hai, Iie, Ja Ne, and so forth.
I have passed third grade English, and I know that words in double quotes refer to people speaking, and words in single quotes refer to people thinking. You do not need to tell me every single chapter.
I don't care about what YOU think about a particular scene in your fanfiction-- keep your damn author's notes until the end.
You look incredibly stupid when you say any of the following:
a) My story sucks, but please read and review it anyway
b) I don't care what you think
c) If you don't like, don't read it
d) Will...?
Disclaimers won't save you from getting sued, but it's considered appropriate to include them anyway, on the off-chance you get a cease-and-desist order.
Leather is not shiny. Patent leather is, and chairs are not made of patent leather.
If something is illegible, one cannot read through it. Illegible means it cannot be read.
If you tell someone not to do something, they will do it. Hence, saying "Don't flame me" is asking for it, especially if your fic sucks.
Hikari is not a pronoun, a name, or a reference word when speaking of characters in Yu-Gi-Oh.
I hate your Mary Sue.
Seto Kaiba did not push Gozaburo Kaiba out of a window. Gozaburo JUMPED. Read the friggin' manga.
Gozaburo Kaiba is NOT, as the dub says, Seto Kaiba's "stepfather." In order to be someone's step parent, one must marry their living parent. Since Gozaburo did not marry Seto's biological mother, he is NOT Seto's step father, he is his ADOPTIVE father. Get over it. (Foster father, btw, also works.)
Stop changing the friggin' POV every third paragraph. Find a perspective you can write in, and stick to it. There IS such a thing as third-person omniscient, who sees what everyone does, says, and thinks all the time, everywhere. With such a POV (and an easy-to-write one, at that), you have no need for switching between people's POVs all the damn time.
Make up your mind about tense. Present, Past, or Future. Three choices. PICK ONE.
Nobody calls Seto Kaiba 'Seto' except for Mokuba. NO ONE. (Especially if you're aiming for an in-character fic without previous developments of any sort.)
Alaska Airlines costs a lot more than Southwest. Fly Southwest. Eat peanuts.
You're not cool because you put the names in Japanese or putting the family name first. Big whoop.
You're even LESS cool if you think all your abbreviations make you look knowledgeable about the fandom. FYI, there's more than one T in the Yu-Gi-Oh series, and the same applies to M, R, and other letters of the .'
Nobody calls Jounouchi JOU. EVER. EVER!!!!!!!!
You are not permitted to mix sub names and dub names unless doing so in a humorous context. You have no artistic license, as you do not own the series. Stop trying to confuse people or make yourself look cool. Stop being lazy and PICK A FRIGGIN' SET OF NAMES!
Icons!
There are two ways to spell it's: It's (It Is) and Its (Its lid, Its color, Its Drooling Fangirl). There is no Its'.
There are three ways to use they in a contraction: they're (They Are) their (Their Dog, Their Cat, Their Sexy Abs), and there (Over there, in the deep dark wood).
You are not cool because you bash a character for the sake of bashing. You are immature, stupid, and blind.
Stop being a fanpoodle. It's one thing to be a fangirl, another to be an otaku, and another to be a disgusting representation of what all decent fanfiction authors LOATHE to tears. Do not be the latter.
P-H-A-R-A-O-H.
If you include the words YuGiOh in your fanfiction title, you deserve to be shot. Many times, with prettyful paintballs. BIG ONES.
No more My Immortal Songs. Matter of fact, no more Evanescence songs, period. Or Sarah McLachlan (if you can help it), or Backstreet Boys, Avril Lavigne, *NSYNC, or Savage Garden. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
And on songfics or the like, DO NOT EVER use the song title as your fic title. Be a bit more original than that, PLEASE!?
SPELL CHECK.
No, I take it back. Get a beta. Lots of them. Make sure they know how to spell. And Spell check after they're done ANYWAY.
No, betas are not people who heap praise on you and tell you "OmG yur f1C is like so kewl!!11eleven."
Hair is not made of silk, chocolate, amber, or any other non-keratin substance. Hair can possess qualities, same as skin can, but it is NOT those things. Don't slap a -ey or -y on things and assume that it makes a perfect description.
Skin cannot be milky. Skin that white is not healthy, and this is coming from someone so white, she might as well be an albino.
Eyes do not express emotion. The eyes are balls of musculature, nerves, and blood vessels with all sorts of other gross parts to them. There is no brain inside. There are, however, parts of your face AROUND the eye that lend to the idea that one's eyes express emotion. So stop saying So-and-So's eyes were "filled with anger" or "twinkling with mirth." How the hell did mirth get in her eyes, anyway?
Comma, space. Period. Space. It's NOT THAT HARD.
Capitalize the first word in every sentence. Not Every Single Word In A Sentence, or eVeRy OtHEr LeTTeR or some strange variation thereof.
Say something back.
If I am reading Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction, I do not need you to tell me that Honda = Tristan, Anzu = Téa, and so on. Anyone stupid enough to be in the Yu-Gi-Oh fandom and NOT know the equivalent names doesn't have the right to be reading fanfiction anyway. They need to do a bit more RESEARCH first.
If I am reading ANY sort of fanfiction, especially that from an anime (or otherwise Japanese-origin) fandom, I do not want to see your foolish "fangirl Japanese" littering the pages, including such easily-translated words as Hai, Iie, Ja Ne, and so forth.
I have passed third grade English, and I know that words in double quotes refer to people speaking, and words in single quotes refer to people thinking. You do not need to tell me every single chapter.
I don't care about what YOU think about a particular scene in your fanfiction-- keep your damn author's notes until the end.
You look incredibly stupid when you say any of the following:
a) My story sucks, but please read and review it anyway
b) I don't care what you think
c) If you don't like, don't read it
d) Will...?
Disclaimers won't save you from getting sued, but it's considered appropriate to include them anyway, on the off-chance you get a cease-and-desist order.
Leather is not shiny. Patent leather is, and chairs are not made of patent leather.
If something is illegible, one cannot read through it. Illegible means it cannot be read.
If you tell someone not to do something, they will do it. Hence, saying "Don't flame me" is asking for it, especially if your fic sucks.
Hikari is not a pronoun, a name, or a reference word when speaking of characters in Yu-Gi-Oh.
I hate your Mary Sue.
Seto Kaiba did not push Gozaburo Kaiba out of a window. Gozaburo JUMPED. Read the friggin' manga.
Gozaburo Kaiba is NOT, as the dub says, Seto Kaiba's "stepfather." In order to be someone's step parent, one must marry their living parent. Since Gozaburo did not marry Seto's biological mother, he is NOT Seto's step father, he is his ADOPTIVE father. Get over it. (Foster father, btw, also works.)
Stop changing the friggin' POV every third paragraph. Find a perspective you can write in, and stick to it. There IS such a thing as third-person omniscient, who sees what everyone does, says, and thinks all the time, everywhere. With such a POV (and an easy-to-write one, at that), you have no need for switching between people's POVs all the damn time.
Make up your mind about tense. Present, Past, or Future. Three choices. PICK ONE.
Nobody calls Seto Kaiba 'Seto' except for Mokuba. NO ONE. (Especially if you're aiming for an in-character fic without previous developments of any sort.)
Alaska Airlines costs a lot more than Southwest. Fly Southwest. Eat peanuts.
You're not cool because you put the names in Japanese or putting the family name first. Big whoop.
You're even LESS cool if you think all your abbreviations make you look knowledgeable about the fandom. FYI, there's more than one T in the Yu-Gi-Oh series, and the same applies to M, R, and other letters of the .'
Nobody calls Jounouchi JOU. EVER. EVER!!!!!!!!
You are not permitted to mix sub names and dub names unless doing so in a humorous context. You have no artistic license, as you do not own the series. Stop trying to confuse people or make yourself look cool. Stop being lazy and PICK A FRIGGIN' SET OF NAMES!
Icons!
There are two ways to spell it's: It's (It Is) and Its (Its lid, Its color, Its Drooling Fangirl). There is no Its'.
There are three ways to use they in a contraction: they're (They Are) their (Their Dog, Their Cat, Their Sexy Abs), and there (Over there, in the deep dark wood).
You are not cool because you bash a character for the sake of bashing. You are immature, stupid, and blind.
Stop being a fanpoodle. It's one thing to be a fangirl, another to be an otaku, and another to be a disgusting representation of what all decent fanfiction authors LOATHE to tears. Do not be the latter.
P-H-A-R-A-O-H.
If you include the words YuGiOh in your fanfiction title, you deserve to be shot. Many times, with prettyful paintballs. BIG ONES.
No more My Immortal Songs. Matter of fact, no more Evanescence songs, period. Or Sarah McLachlan (if you can help it), or Backstreet Boys, Avril Lavigne, *NSYNC, or Savage Garden. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
And on songfics or the like, DO NOT EVER use the song title as your fic title. Be a bit more original than that, PLEASE!?
SPELL CHECK.
No, I take it back. Get a beta. Lots of them. Make sure they know how to spell. And Spell check after they're done ANYWAY.
No, betas are not people who heap praise on you and tell you "OmG yur f1C is like so kewl!!11eleven."
Hair is not made of silk, chocolate, amber, or any other non-keratin substance. Hair can possess qualities, same as skin can, but it is NOT those things. Don't slap a -ey or -y on things and assume that it makes a perfect description.
Skin cannot be milky. Skin that white is not healthy, and this is coming from someone so white, she might as well be an albino.
Eyes do not express emotion. The eyes are balls of musculature, nerves, and blood vessels with all sorts of other gross parts to them. There is no brain inside. There are, however, parts of your face AROUND the eye that lend to the idea that one's eyes express emotion. So stop saying So-and-So's eyes were "filled with anger" or "twinkling with mirth." How the hell did mirth get in her eyes, anyway?
Comma, space. Period. Space. It's NOT THAT HARD.
Capitalize the first word in every sentence. Not Every Single Word In A Sentence, or eVeRy OtHEr LeTTeR or some strange variation thereof.
Say something back.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
wow!
Date: 2004-08-04 07:39 am (UTC)And again, that spell check and capitalization thing is probably the most annoying thing about fanfics. People don't seem to care about the rules of writing. Those (in the majority) stupid pre-teens!
Re: wow!
Date: 2004-08-05 04:50 am (UTC)As a general rule, tweens scare me. But some of them really can write, and I applaud them wholeheartedly.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-04 02:58 pm (UTC)Sorry, nitpickyness breeds nitpickyness :-)
I think we need to compile a Yugioh Fanfiction Nitpick page and provide some of these ridiculous examples--- just for the sake of our sanity, anyway.
The Nitpicker's Guide to Yu-Gi-Oh! Fanfiction
Date: 2004-08-04 08:39 pm (UTC)...Oh yeah, and I need help with WDKY10. I'm so close to being done, but Bakura ate my brain.
Re: The Nitpicker's Guide to Yu-Gi-Oh! Fanfiction
Date: 2004-08-05 02:15 am (UTC)And send the first half of WDKY10 my way so I can nitpick my way through it while you finish writing the rest. It'll save us some time. :)
Apologies for commenting since we don't know each other well.
Date: 2004-08-04 04:52 pm (UTC)Actually, though, single quotes AREN'T used for someone thinking. They're used for a quote-within-a-quote only. Someone thinking goes in italics, double quotes, or nothing. And I, for one, am SICK of people putting thoughts double slashes. >_<
No more My Immortal Songs. Matter of fact, no more Evanescence songs, period. Or Sarah McLachlan (if you can help it), or Backstreet Boys, Avril Lavigne, *NSYNC, or Savage Garden. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
Forget songfics. I would say the world would be better off without Evanescence, Backstreet Boys, *NSYNIC or Savage Garden at all. =) Sarah MaLachlan... well, consider me on the fence on that one.
Re: Apologies for commenting since we don't know each other well
Date: 2004-08-04 08:51 pm (UTC)And in American English grammar, you DO use single quotes for people thinking. It varies from country to country, so the same might not be true in Australia or the United Kingdom (England, Ireland, etc). And if people give examples while speaking, or are quoting someone else in speech, then yes, you use single quotes as well.
I've seen every possible mode of putting thoughts in-- slashes, brackets, parentheses, asterisks... you name it, it's probably been done. I myself am guilty of using the pound sign for "phone speech," even though quotes should have been and are more appropriate.
I do like Sarah McLachlan as well, but a lot of her songs (Fallen, for example) are overused in certain fandoms. Still, I can't complain about her presence in YGO, since I don't see it too often. But I do use two of her songs in WDKY-- "I Will Remember You" in 36, and "Stupid" in 10. ^^; So sue me. :P
Re: Apologies for commenting since we don't know each other well
Date: 2004-08-04 09:26 pm (UTC)Can you really use single quotes for thinking? That's interesting. Forgive me, I've just never seen it done in an actual published book.
Admittedly, I don't like songfics in general very much. I'll occasionally write them for challenges and I can stomach them when they're good. Which chapters 36 and 10 of WDKY were, by the way ^^ Still, though, they're not my favorite-est thing.
Re: Apologies for commenting since we don't know each other well
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From:no subject
Date: 2004-08-04 04:54 pm (UTC)Oh, and we need to get rid of Avril Lavigne too.
o_O
Date: 2004-08-04 08:46 pm (UTC)I like to call them *N-Stink, but then no one would get the joke (or maybe some would, but they wouldn't appreciate it).
Re: o_O
Date: 2004-08-04 09:18 pm (UTC)Heh. *N-Stink. Sounds appropriate to me.
Re: o_O
From:Re: o_O
From:Are you going to eat me?
Date: 2004-08-04 05:06 pm (UTC)Her eyes were the stars.
^^ I take it you don't like metaphors? Well, I happen to like them, and like to use them. :D
^^; Hm... You know, a lot of my own stories break these rules... >.> I should probably look into all of that...
o.o Though man, the way you word this, it's sort of discouraging... I mean, not just to me, but all new writers. Nit-picky is one thing... This is just... o.o;
Re: Are you going to eat me?
Date: 2004-08-04 08:44 pm (UTC)And nitpicky *is* one thing, but 99.9% of the stuff in here is ridiculously basic (name changes, spell checking, the difference between there/they're/their) and shouldn't be found in ANY writing ANYWHERE, let alone published works online. Remember, all FFnet authors are supoosed to be Age 13 and above-- at least with a middle school understanding of English. There are no excuses for not knowing how to spell IT'S.
Most of these are just *my* general nitpicks and irks, not The Word Of God, so it's not like you have to take them as written in stone.
Re: Are you going to eat me?
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From:Sneaking in...please forgive
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From:Re: Sneaking in...please forgive
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From:Wax Poetic
Date: 2004-08-05 04:09 am (UTC)But, just to clarify, what do you think might have been demeaning to n00bs that actually MIGHT not be aware of certain mistakes?
Re: Wax Poetic
From:Re: Wax Poetic
From:CONTINUED!
From:^^;;;; Open mouth insert foot.
From:Re: ^^;;;; Open mouth insert foot.
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From:no subject
Date: 2004-08-05 02:35 am (UTC)But ah well. XD It's my writing style.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-05 02:49 am (UTC)I second the motion to start a section at BEA like that! Marvelous idea!
And when are you going to let me know what I am supposed to do as a mod? *is curious* I want to do a good job as Mistress of the Chaptered Fics!
*glomps Az* I don't know if you're the one who did it, but I noticed that Shake Your Tail Feathers is the first and only fic in the Dragonfayth archives right now. I feel so honored...
What started it all
Date: 2004-08-05 04:42 am (UTC)I looked at myself in the mirror and made faces, and I noticed that my eyes conveyed a lot of the emotion-- but not my eyes themselves, it was the LIGHT reflecting in my eyes, the muscles and skin AROUND my eyes, the hair IN my eyes, that kind of thing. Eyes are a very expressive tool, but in fanfics, people seem to forget that they are just parts of one's body, and cannot reveal all. I find that in writing, when trying to convey emotion, you have to go more indepth than "Her eyes glittered with happiness." Well, how does one look when their eyes are glittering with happiness? What if I'm the most emo person on the face of the planet? I know not what happiness looks like, let alone when it's glittering in someone's eye.
I see so much description put into people's (especially Sue's) eyes, hair, and skin, but so little put into emotion, and that's really what grabs you and connects you as the author, to the reader. Dialogue helps as well, but only if that dialogue is backed by expressive emotion on the part of the character.
I'll send you the mod-job email shortly... and also, no one else has submitted fics for Dragonfayth yet, so that's why there aren't any more. :P
Here’s a cookie. Now scrape the chip off your shoulder, m’dear.
Date: 2004-08-05 03:02 am (UTC)When did decent writing become an endangered species? Oh, right. Fangirls.
Re: Here’s a cookie. Now scrape the chip off your shoulder, m’dear.
Date: 2004-08-05 05:00 am (UTC)Probably what I'd like to do is find other well-done "nitpicking" guides and follow a sort of standardized format. While I strongly enjoy the fact that I've gotten responses from all sorts of people from this, I do think I've upset some people, and I most certainly want to avoid that.
On the plus side, endangered does NOT equal extinct. Whoo hoo!
Re: Here’s a cookie. Now scrape the chip off your shoulder, m’dear.
From:Recs?
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From:no subject
Date: 2004-08-05 09:47 pm (UTC)^_^
Date: 2004-08-06 12:02 am (UTC)Guilty As Charged
Date: 2004-08-20 01:29 am (UTC)This is a perfectly justifiable list that holds ground anywhere. I must commend you for standing up and saying this. A lot of people get on my nerves with their atrocious mutilation of the English language.
Admittedly, I am guilty of doing some of the things you’ve listed. Not all but some. And now you’ve gone and made me feel bad. Especially since you address some issues that were raised in my story You, Revisited.
For example: The Name Game – I play it. No, ‘Jounouchi’ is not hard to spell but I prefer ‘Joey’. I use ‘Honda’ because it makes me smile thinking, ‘Hey, my car gets a role’ while I like the way ‘Devlin’ sounds rolling off the tongue. But I agree with you, if one is going to use ‘Jounouchi’ in one's story, use it consistently. Don’t switch to ‘Joey’ two paragraphs later.
The whole issue with the ‘mirth’ – I suppose that comes with context and what follows. And I have to agree that I’m sick of hearing 'step-father' confused with 'foster-father'. Most of all, finally someone is showing them how to use PUNCTUATION! For Goodness' sake people, learn basic English!
A note I think you’d be interested in: Their and there are not contractions. Only they’re is. Their is an adjective and theirs a possessive pronoun. There is an adverb.
I’ve said something back. I hope it's enough.
Re: Guilty As Charged
Date: 2004-08-20 04:18 am (UTC)Yesh... I can't believe I made that silly mistake with contractions/they-- because even I can see that 'there' and 'their' are not contractions of 'they.' I'm a ninny! :P
I shouldn't waste my time nagging Fandom over my nitpicks (and I am a nitpicker-- alas, I do not get paid for such an illustrious position!), but then, I do have my own sites and archives, so I guess I'm allowed to have a small bit of leeway *there.*
I'm also guilty of a few of the things I listed-- but a long time ago, not now. I'm learning. Whoo.