MILES to GO || before I sleep

For the first time in probably two or three weeks, I can honestly say I feel relaxed. Not "pressure-free" (I still have papers for 3 classes to write; two are due next week, one is due Feb. 1... I also have my scholarship paper to work on and my Japanese test to prepare for), but I'm doing okay. I finished my Mass Media paper after some more edits (including a font size/face change to make it look shorter!), and with the help of Yuta, I actually got down to Level 11 in the Cave of Trials in Star Ocean and beat the boss Dragon! Every time we've tried to make that trek again, we always die somewhere in level 10 or 11, but I'm sure if I keep a good watch on Rena (you have to battle in a party of two for Level 12, so getting there is a pain in the ass), I can make it.

It's funny how a game can give me this great sense of accomplishment, even if I have yet to beat it... even if I was playing it in the cold... even if we died no less than 7 times... even if I should have been working on my Japanese homework while I was playing. I had fun. Yuta and I spoke in Japanese, and we talked about the differences between the game he remembers playing back when he was in high school, and this game (my favorite, even above FFX-2).

I also went out to Coco's with some of the gang-- even though I've been trying to save my money, I had a very delicious and filling dinner for only ¥700 or so, so it's okay. I've also got enough food and laundry money to last me until next Thursday when we get paid, so I should be okay. Next up on the list (besides all the studying, I mean) is packing.

I even finished the SDSU application today... I'm thrilled that I got that done, even if I a) don't get accepted or b) do get accepted and don't end up going. We'll see how that turns out. It was actually easier to fill out than I expected, but calculating my GPA was a bitch: the classes I'm taking here in Japan (5) are supposed to count for at least 16 units back home, 13 of which will be equivalent classes (that is a Japanese class counts for a class I could have taken at CSUN, had I not done the study abroad). Assuming all the paperwork goes through without a hitch (my only concern is the one I left with the G.E. department), all should be well-- I'm hoping I get 4 As and maybe 1 B, which would translate to 61-62 total grade points (apparently you get 4 points for each A IN ONE UNIT... So a 3-unit class where you earn an A is worth 12 grade points). Divide that by the total units I took this semester, and I've still got my 3.0+ GPA, so I'm glad. My cumulative GPA including all my CSUN semesters and such would be around 3.27, which is acceptable. There are some classes for G.E. and my Journalism major that I have yet to take, so I hope SDSU doesn't auto-reject me based o n the fact that I haven't taken those 3-4 classes (a science, a matching lab, a history course, and economics).

The past few days have been really hellish on my body-- many times I feel like I'm having a constant asthma attack with "an elephant sitting on my chest," while other times it feels like the elephant's marching on my back. Sleeping's been difficult, too, but I think if I can relax and genuinely "let go" of these pressures and really start taking the good along with the bad, and seeing all of this as an experience, then I can survive these last 12 days. That's not to say I plan on slacking off, but... well, I better get to bed soon anyway, since I have Japanese homework to do in about 6 and a half hours.

Tonight, I pray for no nightmares, creative stimulation that will not leave me in the morning, and a Muse who can hold her thoughts until I have time to type them, rather than waking me up by doomsaying that I'll forget The Next Great Idea if I don't type them out NOW.