If you know the words, sing along!

[azurite]

Ah, so yesterday was the LJ party. And Aaron's recital, which I unfortunately missed because I stayed over at Vince's and wasn't feeling too well. That and, Aaron wasn't awake when I tried to call him early in the morning-- 45 minutes before his own recital! He insisted that my house was closer to where he was coming from (San Bruno) and close to his insturctor's house (somewhere on 25th) but it's not like even if I had left Vince's, I would have made it home on time. I might have TRIED, but I'd be all smelly, icky, hungry, and feeling sick. -.- So it's a good thing I didn't go, imho. I said sorry to Aaron, but he decided to be rude to me and insist I pay for forgiveness. Keh, not going to happen.

Well, Joe came over to Vince's, and I spent a little time reading the Battle Royale manga (ugh, those images just won't get out of my head!). Shuuya's hot, but the story is quite frightening. They haven't explained much of the "why" they (the Japanese government, that is) is doing what they are (short of spoiling your fun, I'll keep my lips sealed to that end) but I guess they'll get to that eventually. Volume 2's already out-- I don't want to buy it, just read it.

Anyway, so Joe and I went to my house, then Japantown... *sigh* And guess what? He bought me Eikoden. I had a feeling he was going to do it, since in his LJ, he said "She'll get it somehow" or something like that. And he's the type of person to be nice like that. But it doesn't stop me from feeling all weird and guilty. No holiday. Not my birthday, not my graduation anymore. It's obvious why he did it; I knew even before I asked him on the ride to the Metreon after Karaoke last night. He still likes me, and he, like me, wants to "go back" to a state of us just being friends. But that's the problem-- we've never just been "friends." When we first met at Fanime last year, we jumped the gun a lot, and the same thing happened after the first time we broke up and we got back together. And people's feelings change, so that's why we're not going out now. No wait, let me rephrase that-- my feelings changed, his apparently didn't. But I'm not the type to say just because he still likes me that I can't or won't hang out with him. He's my friend, but I hate that feeling that I have to repay someone's "uncalled for" kindness. I want to pay him back for Eikoden, but...


Ah, Eikoden. To be honest, not as good as I thought it was. Pretty good though, and if you're a die-hard FY fan, then it's necessary. I just hope Viz gets their hands on the actual Gaidens that the Eikoden was based on, and we can read those! The backstories behind so many of the FY characters is sure to be enticing...! There weren't too many cool extras either, but... =P Blah. I have a feeling there's another part of the FY series that I forgot about (has it come out already or will it come out later this year...?) ... something to do with Hikari, Miaka's daughter, going into the Shijintenchisho. Or it could be fanfics leaking into my brain...

AUGH! Fanfics! Usa Week ends tomorrow (as much as I'd love to extend it, I don't think I'm allowed...?) and it was only TODAY that I finished the layout. I fixed the iFrame errors, and had to revise/add several pages and links... I still think many pages are missing CSS. Blaugh, I'd have to add more code no matter what, to lots of pages. Whatever, I just wanted to get it up by today, at least. It's not super-Sailormoony, but right now I'm stressing the simplicity of things. I might change it before Mamo Day. Maybe.

Oh yeah, but I've been thinking if I can post something for tomorrow-- maybe a weird oneshot, like I did last year with "24," which won awards... or quite possibly (and this is probably what I *will* end up doing) finishing up my old fics, most especially "Twisted Fate," one of my favorites. But I also promised to help Bonnie and Siggy come out with new chapters of our co-fics. The one with Siggy is pretty reliant on HER right now, as she's supposed to come up with most of the 2nd chapter. We have all these scattered chats and notes and everything, I forget where we put it all! With Bonnie, it is my job, but we're still missing a chat that had vital stuff on the chapter. And with "Golden Apple," the co-fic I'm doing with Bonnie, I want it to be very vivid, so we might end up holding off until Mamo Day... but that'll give us more time to write more chapters, right? *cough cough*

Anyway, here's the FFnet link to the first 4 chapters. I love the way I ended Chapter 4, so I'll get working on Chapter 5 ASAP. *_* But I'm sort of out of it, and there's so much more to do and say...



Okay, so Joe and I showed up to the Metreon together for the LJ party thing... it was pretty weird that I thought so many people I knew were going to be there, but weren't. More appropriately, I didn't know people as well as I thought I would, and people I hoped would be there didn't show. It was nice seeing Claudine again, a little bit unnerving to see Kenny (does he even HAVE an LJ? Gah, forget it, I don't want to know) and cool to see some people from the other LJ party a while back. I gave Chris a bday card (I wanted to draw a Photoshop one, but I didn't have time) and then we all went to go eat. There weren't as many snacks as last time, and I wanted to bring something, but I was strapped for cash as it was.

Ugh, never should have gone to Jollibee's. Under other circumstances, YES, Filipino fastfood might have been tasty, even cool, but lately I haven't been eating OR sleeping well-- and the dreams! Oh, don't get me started on those. But I couldn't eat the spaghetti I got, and so even though I spent $5 on it, I didn't finish it-- I just nibbled on my fries, and gave the leftovers of THOSE to Vince. *sigh* Spent most of the rest of the time prior to the movie ("Hulk") scribbling in my notebook, and getting people to sign my Slambook. @_@ You know, I might actually run out of room before everyone signs it? YAY!

I took the fruity fruit quiz

made by rav-chan

Check out which fruit you are

What an AzN quiz.


Oh yeah, Brooke's bridal shower is indeed here in SF. She's holding it at Moose's, that restaurant over on Stockton that's supposed to be pretty popular. And I've been trying to call Baba's house for a while now, to ask her/Grandpa about the hotel rooms they told my mom they need, and to wish Dad a happy birthday. Even though they have DSL by now though, the line's always busy and I get booted to an answering machine! *hiss* Maybe I'll call later...

Anyway, so we saw "The Hulk," which was pretty good, though the majority of it didn't take place in San Francisco. I kept trying to get a good look at the names of the streets the Hulk was rampaging down, but I couldn't make them out. Feh. So there's another "comic-book" movie to add to the vault... Spiderman, Spiderman 2 soon, X-Men, X-2, the Hulk, and soon, the Punisher! Whee. Yeah, "The Hulk" had a a very comic book style to it, which I thought was pretty cool. I'm starting to notice minor details about movies that I never would have thought about before-- when there's BG music and when there's not-- how well a character is developed and portrayed (especially in comic book movies, how accurate they are to the original!), how visible the CG art is, etc. In "The Hulk," I almost got this feeling I was on a Turbo Ride, and in some scenes, it was like being propelled into a comic book scene and actually being part of it-- like you were reading a comic book, but it was 60 feet tall and had moving pictures!

-.- Speaking of moving pictures, Newtype pisses me off. Not just $10 for something that's 88% bad layout and advertising, but so many misprints! I rarely get any enlightenment from reading Newtype, and it just makes it worse when they get information wrong-- like they did with Peach Girl. AUGH! Whatever.

Oh yes, so after the bad food, Hulk... well, we went to Karaoke after people DDRed some. Lonnie actually called me near the end of the movie, and I was just sort of staring at my cell phone like "Woah, wow... omg, whaddoido!?" It was bad enough I was getting weirdness signals with Joe, as he kept leaning towards me. Blah, I wish Grace could have been in the movie... I felt like one of the only girls there-- there were maybe 4 total, but I barely knew the others, and it didn't seem like Shannon wanted to talk to me much, anyhow. =P Wha'ever. I actually Karaoke'd this time, and it was kind of embarassing at first... x_X With everyone else, they picked popular songs with good melodies that everyone knew, but the Karaoke rendition of Pink's "Don't Let Me Get Me" kind of sucked, and my voice just DID NOT sound good over the mic. *sigh* I did sing along with Christal and Grace for "Lady Marmalade," and of course, the grand finale, "Bohemian Rhapsody." So, even for an hour, it was still good fun.



I'd called Lonnie (respect, people-- I returned his call!) at the Met, and after Karaoke, called again-- he was at the Met this time. Not being in a rush to go home (and going to Chris' for an after-karaoke party was out of the question, given that his place is in Marin, and I'd already stayed the night at someone's house the day before) I got a ride from Joe there-- we talked some things out, so I hope we can resolve whatever odd feeling are still left between us. Or him. Whatever, once again. Lonnie was upstairs playing GGX with that same 12-year-old black kid from waaay earlier, when Joe'd been playing. o_O And this was what, six hours later? *cough cough* No life! I watched for a few minutes-- Lonnie and I didn't say much, but he did sort of say hello, and between rounds, gave me a hug. I went to play DDR, put in 2 too many credits, and ended up playing a second game. The first game I failed my 3rd stage (blah!) and the 2nd game, I got as far as finishing my 4th stage (all four stages passed with a B!) before the guy pulled the plug.

And then... and then. We just walked around. We found ourselves near Union Square, got "kicked out" of there too. Went to the St. Francis and I took him up to a balcony where we could talk. And we did for a while, and it was sort of weird, because I just got this vibe from Lonnie that he wanted something (I'm still not sure what-- and he'll never tell me-- GAH, he's so frustrating!) from me. See, that's the thing... I'm glad that I got to see him again, weirded out too. I was amd at him before for pretty much ignoring me and missing out on what I considered a very important day of my life. But I know the sort of shit Lonnie goes through, trying to survive on a day-to-day basis.



What Anime Type Are You?

I think the title doesn't make much sense, with results like these.


So truthfully, I don't mind if he disappears any more. But I don't know what to do about him when he's here. I mean, just trying to get him to tell me why he wanted to hang with me, why he wanted to talk or whatever... he made me answer it myself. And I'm not entirely sure what I sleepily came up with was "right." Lonnie's so weird, so confusing, but isn't all life? Unnerving, but attracting, and... I don't know. Lately all I've been is unsure, confused, and sick. I really like Jonathan, but he's frustrating too, in his own right. It's wrong to plot out the pros and cons of a guy, isn't it? I've boiled it down to-- I don't want a relationship right now, but I do want some attention. I do want to have fun, but I don't like betraying people. So... what does that really mean?




What Forest Creature Are You?

Rawr.

Life's too short for regrets, that's what I say. I don't feel bad about much, but I do think back on things, maybe dwell more than I'd like. It's hard to be indifferent, hard to just try and have fun. I feel like I have to be involved in stuff somehow, and then part of me's sick of that-- for once I would like to be in the audience, and not onstage, or not behind the scenes directing.




What Anime Vampire Are You?

Ooh yeah, I love Miyu!

Well, as the song goes, "Come what may." I guess I'll keep trying to live life as it comes, deal with situations. Lonnie and Mike are both too perceptive for their own good-- they both know I'm too high-strung and stressed out, but even I don't know over what. Maybe it's just because it's that time of year. I'm still a little weirded out over everything recently... I mean... wow, just too much for words. You think you know people, that you understand things, that you know what to say and do, but you really don't.




What Magical Girl Are You?

She reminds me of Sailormoon.



What NERV Child Are You?

Who's Reggie?



What Shoujo Mascot Are You?

Deja vu.


What's Your Outlook on Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

Gee, really? That kinda sucks.


Well, I think I'm the only one that liked the Hulk. Except maybe Erwin. Him and me, we're art freaks, we are. True comic fans. Hehe.

What else is there? (My Fandom has trust issues!) Hehe... yeah, the Inuyasha community here on LJ is pretty active, and I'm enjoying it. But aside from the SMRFF, I'm getting pretty sick of Yahoo! MLs. So much email to check whenever I'm gone! I miss having an account I could download to Outlook Express. I seriously need a domain or something soon, so I can get my own personalized, junk-free email! Yahoo will go to hell! I have to just start deleting all those old messages... burn CDs of stuff.

Oh yeah, and I've been itching to say this for so long. Okay, not so long, but... you guys know I'm prone to trusting my friends over people I don't know so well. And I'm prone to trusting girls over guys. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe that's a bad thing, who knows right now? But I mean, I have trust issues with more guys right now than I do girls, and I wonder why that is.

I thought I knew someone, even if he wasn't that much of a "friend" to me, or vice versa. By now it's probably old news... yeah, Benji took Grace's skateboard. Over just a beanie? No. More than that, but it's not my place to say. But it seems none of us are a good judge of character. You never know what someone is capable of until it's too late, and people are hurt beyond repair. Benji deserved to lose his tail, and a lot more than that. He got off easy.

Grace, I want you to know that you are a kick-ass girl, and despite the fact I'm a bitch about your smoking, I do love you to bits. Stay sane, determined, and in-charge. Never let someone rule you because you AND ONLY YOU are in charge of yourself and what you feel. You know what I mean.

Now that I think about it, there's another guy like that. Not the same situation, which is a good thing, because I can maintain the way I am around him, but... it's still pretty strange, thinking that someone who believes you're a friend might be two-faced.



What Shoujo Mascot Are You?

Okay, I lied, one quiz result HERE. But Stef's right-- Ai would say something about bestiality here. But Inu's HALF HUMAN!


So.... gotta get back to stuff. Maybe I'll write "Twisted Fate" and some "Spooferlicious" and "Golden Apple" (if Baine ever comes online!) later. Gotta email the SMRFF about the new layout, once I get onto that SN. Whee.