Utter lack of trust
Jan. 30th, 2001 09:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteNote: these entries are being reposted from what used to be my FreeOpenDiary, where my username was *azurite*. I preserved the entries before I left FOD for LiveJournal, but back then I was much vaguer about references to people in my real life; as a result, I can't always provide background info on these posts. Some of these things I don't even remember! The majority of these entries were written in my sophomore year of high school.
It bites not being able to trust someone you THOUGHT was your friend.
The scenario? Picture this: a guy is crushing on you. Whoopee. If you're not into the whole "boyfriend" "Valentine's Day" scene, then this is not good news. What makes it worse is that a) he's about 2 years older than you. Okay, no major diff, but it feels funny. Some people get along with people tens of years older than them. Others, the opposite. And still more-- just don't. They either seclude themselves completely, or just stick with people in the year above or below them. Give or take a few months, maybe. Oh yes, b) is the fact that before you even KNEW the guy, he had a rep. It's prejudice to let someone's rep fool you, but when they live UP to their rep, what are you supposed to do? This guy was a total pervert, and I was getting reports from all my friends. Friends who didn't know the other friends, friends who didn't give a damn, or people I just talked to by accident. "Stay away from him, he's a pig." I heard. Oh well, I'm wishing I had heeded their advice now. So this pig is crushing on me, flattering yes, but distracting. I have plenty of guy friends, and I'm usually never uncomfortable with them. But once I hear that one of them is crushing on me... well, it's BAD. This guy was never my friend, per se, but...
Ok, so my friends now know that this guy is into me, and I'm NOT. Months, and months pass by. I give the "crushee" hints, ranging from subtle to blantantly, smack-you-in-the-face obvious. He's obviously as thick as a pole, because he never got the hints. So a week or so back, one of my guy "friends" decides to drop in in my Bio class. I should note that this "friend" of mine, we'll call him Joe, had been (and still is) crushing on one of my other best buds-- Jane. Jane's in my Bio class too, and that's why he drops by sometimes-- to see her. At the time, she had told him off several times: he pursued her, she wasn't interested or had her eyes on someone else. He didn't get it. What was more, he was highly overprotective, a liar and show-off, an @$$ kisser to the teachers, and worse, a blabbermouth. That was the problem. Blabbermouths are usually eavesdroppers too. I was talking to Jane about my problem with the guy crushing on me, and Joe interrupts, saying he'll talk to him for me. I immediately decline the offer- I think of how it would feel to have someone say to me "Oh, he hates you," instead of from his face. It's more cowardly on the person's part, too. I was really thinking of the other guy's feelings when I denied Joe's offer, and explained to him why. He looked like he understood, but... apparently not, because when I IMed the guy crushing on me, he told me what "Joe had told him" and totally guilt tripped me. He forgave me, and all was well on that end, thank god. BUT. BUT Joe was playing games with me. Not only had he betrayed my trust, lied to me, and then some, but while I was talking to the "crushee" I was also talking to Jane-- and someone else I didn't know, but, after Jane identified the SN, I found out was Joe. For the past half hour, he had been playing guessing games with me, denying my correct guesses... all in all, getting me very pissed.
I ignored him for a while, but it only seemed to make him angrier. Jane totally understood my position, and I believe she started ignoring him too, throwing Joe into a typical fit of rage and depression. Not a fun guy to be around. As of late, I've been wondering why I was ever friends with someone like Joe in the first place. Maybe I'm out of bounds here, but I don't want to speak to him until he apologizes.
It bites not being able to trust someone you THOUGHT was your friend.
The scenario? Picture this: a guy is crushing on you. Whoopee. If you're not into the whole "boyfriend" "Valentine's Day" scene, then this is not good news. What makes it worse is that a) he's about 2 years older than you. Okay, no major diff, but it feels funny. Some people get along with people tens of years older than them. Others, the opposite. And still more-- just don't. They either seclude themselves completely, or just stick with people in the year above or below them. Give or take a few months, maybe. Oh yes, b) is the fact that before you even KNEW the guy, he had a rep. It's prejudice to let someone's rep fool you, but when they live UP to their rep, what are you supposed to do? This guy was a total pervert, and I was getting reports from all my friends. Friends who didn't know the other friends, friends who didn't give a damn, or people I just talked to by accident. "Stay away from him, he's a pig." I heard. Oh well, I'm wishing I had heeded their advice now. So this pig is crushing on me, flattering yes, but distracting. I have plenty of guy friends, and I'm usually never uncomfortable with them. But once I hear that one of them is crushing on me... well, it's BAD. This guy was never my friend, per se, but...
Ok, so my friends now know that this guy is into me, and I'm NOT. Months, and months pass by. I give the "crushee" hints, ranging from subtle to blantantly, smack-you-in-the-face obvious. He's obviously as thick as a pole, because he never got the hints. So a week or so back, one of my guy "friends" decides to drop in in my Bio class. I should note that this "friend" of mine, we'll call him Joe, had been (and still is) crushing on one of my other best buds-- Jane. Jane's in my Bio class too, and that's why he drops by sometimes-- to see her. At the time, she had told him off several times: he pursued her, she wasn't interested or had her eyes on someone else. He didn't get it. What was more, he was highly overprotective, a liar and show-off, an @$$ kisser to the teachers, and worse, a blabbermouth. That was the problem. Blabbermouths are usually eavesdroppers too. I was talking to Jane about my problem with the guy crushing on me, and Joe interrupts, saying he'll talk to him for me. I immediately decline the offer- I think of how it would feel to have someone say to me "Oh, he hates you," instead of from his face. It's more cowardly on the person's part, too. I was really thinking of the other guy's feelings when I denied Joe's offer, and explained to him why. He looked like he understood, but... apparently not, because when I IMed the guy crushing on me, he told me what "Joe had told him" and totally guilt tripped me. He forgave me, and all was well on that end, thank god. BUT. BUT Joe was playing games with me. Not only had he betrayed my trust, lied to me, and then some, but while I was talking to the "crushee" I was also talking to Jane-- and someone else I didn't know, but, after Jane identified the SN, I found out was Joe. For the past half hour, he had been playing guessing games with me, denying my correct guesses... all in all, getting me very pissed.
I ignored him for a while, but it only seemed to make him angrier. Jane totally understood my position, and I believe she started ignoring him too, throwing Joe into a typical fit of rage and depression. Not a fun guy to be around. As of late, I've been wondering why I was ever friends with someone like Joe in the first place. Maybe I'm out of bounds here, but I don't want to speak to him until he apologizes.
