Ignorance is NOT bliss!
Jun. 2nd, 2003 10:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteBlah, okay, two day update. Sorry folks, this one's going to be long. But for everyone's viewing "pleasure," I guess I'll LJ-CUT it to the most important parts.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Why being ignored sucks
Pre-Prom
Things to love/hate about Prom
Ignorance sucks, Part 2
Mike tries to set me up?!
More survey goodness
Being ignored really sucks. I mean, aside from the fact that it's just plain rude, especially if you're ignoring a friend, but you have no idea the kind of thoughts someone INTENTIONALLY being secluded has in their head. They can range from sad and lonely to murderous, depending on the person and their mood. And if you've ever been in that situation yourself, why would you want to inflict that kind of thing on someone else-- a friend, no less?
I didn't go to the Natalise benefit concert on Friday, because I decided that my friends at RTA were much more important. And they are, don't get me wrong, but that didn't stop me from regretting, if even for a minute, going to RTA instead of the concert. I mean, I had money to spend, since I'd bought stuff from Walgreen's earlier that day, like my camera for Prom, my blue [hair] stuff, and some facial needs. I was trying to be friendly and stuff by offering to buy shakes for people that went to In-N-Out-- I was thinking maybe one or two people, but then it just seemed like they were taking advantage of me.
Don't get me wrong, I had a good amount of fun at RTA on Friday and all, but... I hate being lonely. Just wandering around the arcade looking for someone to talk to. And why is it that every time I see Jimmy, no matter how hard I try, we end up getting into some petty argument? I hate that. And yes, I know I provoke it myself, but everything with people is a two-way street, and you can't really place blame. I wish I could handle those kind of things better, instead of getting so huffy over his insertions on my commentary. =P This is why people say you should never say anything aloud unless you want someone and their dog to remark on it.
Claudia -Sen- was there, and I watched her and Will play Initial D version 2. It's quite cool to see so many girls getting into iD and being really good at it-- I mean, there's Gina... not too many other girls I know though, to be honest. And Claudia's nice, even though I don't know her that well or talk to her that much. I don't even know where she's from, but as the arcade was starting to get near closing time, she and Will left because she had to get home.
I dunno, it just seemed like people really didn't want to talk or hang out with me that night-- was I acting weird? I mean beforehand. I got people to sign my yearbook though, so maybe I should just go through and see what they said... *worry* Hope it's nothing evil and painful...
Anyway, when we finally left in this massive group, Will came back from behind and bopped me on the head with his poster-- guess he'd decided to stick with us after all, which was cool. But then he didn't talk to me much. What would we say, anyway? I wish I had some preformatted list of conversation topic for every friend I know, so things don't turn into a series of "sad, lonely, uncomfortable, awkward silences." That happens too often for someone who's supposed to be as outgoing and a "people person" like me. Ugh.
I was pretty pissed as we all walked to In-N-Out-- I felt like the only reason I was there was because people wanted me to buy them shakes. I was pretty grumpy for a while-- and sad when I found out Fred and Francisco up and disappeared. Fred most especially, after what I found out tonight-- from Oliver, of all people. Moving to Mexico. God, I'm going to miss him.
So many people that I really care about are just uprooting themselves and going away, and while it must be the best for them, hard on them as well, I guess I don't have any right to be so upset. It's not like anything I can say or do will keep them here, and if I could do that, they'd be upset and miserable. *sigh* So I guess I'm really happy for these people-- for Fred, for Eva, for... well, everyone. I wish them the best and hope they'll stay in touch, and visit every once in a while. I'm just sad, is all, and it comes with the territory.
Well, my mood improved by the end of the night anyway-- Benji's always a fantastic guy to get a smile from. He's incredibly talented, even if he is so mysterious. Quite a puzzle he is. Whenever he writes his birthday out, he always leaves the year as ?? @_@; Very unnerving. Now that I think about it, no wonder he and Lonnie are friends. They're both... pretty spooky, for lack of a better word. Anyway, Benji was just making jokes all night, and everyone was joining in-- quite the number of laughs. I got a picture on my kodak Digicam that I'll eventually turn into a sig for NBoR. *smirks* I liiiiiiiiiike Vanilla Shakes (too lazy to do all the l33t-typing for it)
Let's see, afterwards, our party slimmed down a lot-- Vince had to go home, once we were rest assured that Cris didn't develop diabetes or something and was dying in the bathroom (believe me, it was a big scare for me; a painful reminder of another Chris I know with diabetes... one that I miss very much and would do a lot to see and talk to again). So those of us left took the F to the Metreon-- Will stayed on the train and headed home, since he seemed tired. Going to the Met probably wasn't that good for me, given that I had to do all that prep for Prom the next day... but it ended up working out anyway, I guess.
So I think the party came down to... uh, let's see Cris, Jimmy, Benji, PsyJoe, Baka, Oliver... @_o not sure who else. I played a game of DDR, but I was really slacking off in bits, even though I did full combo another song (forgot what it was... I'll have to ask Oliver if he uploaded the image of it yet; he had his camera and was all about taking pictures). Played Initial D (version 1... if I'd had enough money at RTA to play Ver. 2, I would have, but I couldn't afford the upgrade) and beat Itsuki (Iggy) with my LanEvo... man, I haven't played with that card in a while. It's kinda freaky how I can get up to 185 km/h and be like "Augh, so sloooow" while with my Integra, when I hit 154 km/h, that's "slow," so when I get it going faster, it's like "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" chipmunk on speed!
=P Still can't beat Shingo though. Maybe I should just upgrade my Integra next week so I won't have to deal with him on Version 1 anymore! =P
Oh yeah, at RTA, I tried to upgrade my Integra, but it was more money than I thought it would be. So I ended up playing with a Cappucino as "Player" (haha, maybe I should get a card to say that? But I have a 5 character limit... =P) and I was just going NUTS! Itsuki in Ver. 2 is SO FULL of himself, and I really wanted to cut him down to size. But Jer and Will seemed INTENT on focusing my road rage (someone asks how you can get road rage on a driving game. I throw the steering wheel at them) and kept cracking jokes and stuff, and for a while, it worked- I managed to take that dinky little car from hell and actually catch UP to Itsuki after a 135 lag! But I kept losing it on the Myogi hairpin (which isn't really a hairpin, now that I think about it) and even though I got a good drift going (I think I'm getting better at it...) I just lost it in the last lap-- still, with a better lag than other people might have had with that sort of lack of control.
Okay back to the Metreon... uhm, gee, I pretty much said all I did. People came and went without saying "goodbye" or anything... I called Lonnie to see what he was up to, and he called me back as I was on my way home, which was nice. I was so zonked when I got home that I just fell asleep, but I wasn't oblivious to the fact that Mom WAS NOT home. Hmm.
Okay, so I planned to wake up at 11am and have enough time to get ready, do the dishes, and meet Kripa at the Park Presidio bus stop on Geary by 1:00. But Mom STILL wasn't home. I hate it when she does that. She always nags me to call her whenever MY plans change and I end up staying at someone's house (which rarely happens anymore, but it should-- Amber, another sleepover soon? Or Vince? We gotta do that. Party for no reason. Well, school ending. HAH! There's a reason!)
Anyway, so I told myself that if I was to survive Prom with a smile on my face, I had to get more sleep... little did I know how much preparation was really involved. I'd put off doing the dishes again, but the sleep was well worth it. I had some nice dreams, too... ~_~ I finally got out of bed after the 2nd time Kripa called at 11:45ish... then I just went nuts. I mean, I had to get my dress and wrap into the garment bag; put my shoes in the other pouch; decide what makeup to bring and make sure all my jewelry, purse, and accessories were together, and I had something to "do" at Steph's house prior to getting dressed... So I brought my book of Wyrd, which I touched only slightly during the course of the weekend. At least I have an idea for a section other than Red (Guys) ... I think maybe Orange will be Friends, and then maybe I can use another section for just Girls.
Anyway, so without mom being home, I was paranoid-- where were my gloves, the coat I had to wear, what about money for dinner and photos?! She finally called me back after I left an angry rant at her just before I stepped into the shower (and no, even cordless phones and cells do NOT belong in the shower...) and came home pretty fast. Yay to that, but she didn't really help out much like I hoped she had. She did help me get some semblance of a breakfast together as I was rushing around-- damned Strawberry Cheerios are just one big up and one LONG down. You get the energy really quick, and then you just want to pass out.
I brought so much makeup and stuff with me, I knew that getting back to my house would be hell-- it wasn't really, the hell came later (another story for later) but all the same, it was a lot of stuff. When I met up with Kripa, we were both uberbogged down, and she had her long, fleecy pillow with her, since we were both staying over. We didn't get a seat at first (rude guys!) but finally some kids left the bus and we settled in. But getting to Van Ness was quicker than we thought, even if the bus was a limited, and then we had to hop on the 47 to head to Steph's.
We didn't do much at first-- there was only the four of us there, which wasn't so bad. I mean things were nuts to begin with, just with the four of us. With the way Michelle kept saying that there were going to be like, 15 people, I thought she meant all at Steph's! Thank god for that not being true. We spent some time just hanging-- we had some Chinese food (but not what I really craved, Sweet N Sour chicken) and some tea, then we chilled in her room talking and stuff. I fell asleep with my jacket over my head while Kripa read a magazine. When I woke up, it was about an hour and a half later, and my hair, for some inexplicable reason, looked GREAT! Isn't that weird, how "bed head" can sometimes look so stylin'? I didn't need to do that much to it with the Thermacell anyway, so it was all good. =)
When we finally did get started, the order was: dress, makeup, accessories, hair. Of course, in the process of changing, everyone had to comment on everyone else-- to be blunt, I had the most decorative dress of the lot of them. Kripa's EXPRESS dress was really nice and sexy, but quite simple-- less so than Steph's, which was just a layered "little black dress" and Michelle's huge, shiny white thing. Kripa, Steph and I all had the right idea, I'm sorry to say, but black is much better to wear to a prom than white-- not only do you not have to be so careful about things like spills, but you don't have to worry about whether you look fat-- black is THE slimming color. =P I believe it sort of worked for me...
Haha, the one comment I got the most during pre-prom was "Geez Mer, your boobs are so big!" That was flattering and embarassing at the same time; everyone kept comparing Bra sizes and stuff, arguing over what the proper way to measure it was, and which ones were the best. It didn't help that Kripa kept complaining about her strapless pushup that she had to wear with her dress-- she kept "groping" herself and it was just really funny and cute at the same time. (For the record, Kripa never ever seems naughty... she's not uberinnocent, but she's sure as hell not winged)
Anyway, so we all finally fumbled into our dresses-- I still thought I looked at least PARTIALLY like a carpet bag, but once I get the pics and post them up (here, NBoR, Snapshot) you can be the judge. We started doing makeup and hair, and I realized while doing my eyeshadow job that I REALLY shouldn't have forgotten my contacts. When I realized I'd left them at home, I was already close to Geary and late, so I just kept going, telling myself that a) people knew me as the girl with glasses; I'd been with glasses longer than I'd been without; and b) Going back and getting them necessarily wouldn't help; I still had tons of stuff to carry, not to mention the overly-long process of getting my contacts IN (at a different house than I'm used to!) as well. So... yeah. But I still wish I'd gotten them in earlier.
Got everything on and in for the most part-- no last minute breakages. But the pantyhose my mom bought did NOT have a sheer toe, and there was no way in hell I was going to wear toeless shoes that were SO nice looking, with the nice gold pedicure Kripa'd given me with black pantyhose. Ugh. For the record, I cannot do ANYTHING with my own hair. Getting my own eyeliner to look acceptable (i.e. not like someone socked me a good one) is hard enough. But when that Thermacell hits my hair and *I'm* the one holding it, expect Annie-like curls and extreme dentage. Yes, hair can DENT. But Steph did a nice job with it, even though my hair looked pretty cool as it was. No fancy hair clip, but my earrings and the choker which Rochelle made Friday afternoon (from my BELT! She's so cool!) looked great. The rhinestone thing worked really well I think, and I didn't have to worry about my purse clashing with everything. =D
I got my makeup to look REALLY nice-- I'm glad we took "before and after" pics-- I'll post those once I get them developed! ^_^ TGF Kodak Digicam! =D Free PhotoCD! Anyway, there wasn't much else beyond all that-- I did some of Kripa's hair, trying to give her ponytail "life," but she ended up taking it out by the time we got to the Holiday Inn where a bunch of our friends were staying for a *wink wink* "wedding." Bah, I think all this idiocy about not being able to stay at a hotel unless you're 20 is garbage. I've never heard of that before, and my mom WORKS for a hotel.
Anyway, onto all that craziness later. PROM!
So Paul looked really good when he came to pick us up in the Caravan-- Dodge Caravan, that is. =P He seriously reminded me of Bob Saget (sp?), you know, from the old America's Funniest Home Videos? BEFORE they called it AFV? Haha... yeah, quite freaky. Theo and his date, Susan were already in the car-- Susan had a REALLY nice dress, rhinestones and embroidery and everything, and it was strapless-- but highly original and VERY beautiful. No gloves though, so I felt kinda out of place.
Theo had bought roses for Susan, Kripa, and Steph, so again the left out-edness. Michelle wasn't supposed to get one, but she took a bouquet anyway. -.- I just can't be nice to her. She butts into what isn't her business, and... gah, she's leaving for North Carolina soon, I'll never have to deal with her again. Hopefully that will be the same for Leanne Davis. UGH.
For some reason, everyone headed to Holiday Inn first-- "everyone" meaning those not in the car with us, like Sung, Corinna, Erin DMC, Marina, etc. The only ones in the car with us were Paul, Sachi, Theo, Susan, myself, Michelle, Kripa, and Steph. It was pretty full, and not many of us buckled up, which was a BAD IDEA, because, as I learned the hard way later on, Paul is anything but the perfect driver. -.-; And worse, he's given Kripa lessons. I'm glad she's "learning to drive," but Paul isn't exactly the best teacher...
Well, we had to find parking, but not in the expensive garage near the pier (as it turned out, the North Beach Pizza we were going to was the one above RTA) or at the Hyatt... somewhere on the street, because Paul was cheap. =P I had to give directions the whole way, and when we got dropped off at the curb near Pier 39 (you know, where all those bicycle-cart guys wait?) all these tourists were looking at us funny, and I was trying not to be uberembarassed or anything. ^^; We strutted our stuff nonetheless! Haha...
I didn't stop by RTA like I wanted, because everyone just wanted to get into NBP... which I was against going to, because every time my mom's ordered from there, it's made me sick. I'm feeling sick now, but for some reason I don't think it was the food at NBP, it was probably the fruit punch from prom or something. Or maybe the cherries... or the strawberries... @_@ Anyway, Sung was there, and he looked REALLY handsome in his tux/suit/whatever it was. Topic of discussion for a while was whether Sung'd win prom queen or not; everyone really wanted him to win, but he had a lot of competition, mostly from self-centered FOBs and HKs... =P i.e. people I don't care for too much. Sung told me my homeroom and Hamill's homeroom's (his "powerhouses") had been disqualified-- for being late, and for supposedly being rigged. In the end, it turned out to be a good thing, since Eugene (whom I didn't know was on the ballot with his bitchy girlfriend, Cindy) rigged the votes in our reg and voted himself for king, and Cindy for Queen. UGH!
Sung had a cheesy gold crown to use, since he said that the crown they'd have would be dorky anyway. He was improving on his "acceptance speech" that he'd first given at the VAPA awards-- something about thanking all the little people he'd stepped on to get there, but they probably deserved it anyway! It was cruel, but so very Sung-- and probably true too, considering his opponents. After all, Chiaki, while a nice, beautiful girl, has won so many of the other courts before. Sung was serious about winning, and people were being stupid, jealous, and homophobic, ripping down his posters and everything. =P Blah.
Dinner was actually quite good-- I had myself a slice of veggie pizza, a garlic twist, some salad, and some pasta... all quite yummy. The buffet was only $15 a person, and it was "All you can eat," so I was a very happy panda. =} Got myself an orange soda too, which brightened me up some, since I hadn't had any in a while... and a cheesecake, since I was being daring and wanted to have an honestly "complete" meal, appetizers, entree and all. It wasn't as good as the one at the Garden Cafe, Corinna and Emma told me, so they want me to go to this place, somewhere on 33rd and Geary, and try for myself. And here I thought the Cheesecake Factory was the place to go. =P
Well, after much confusion over payment (Susan and Theo were smart and paid separately) we got to go... people were trying to find the waitress, go to the bathroom (the women's bathroom had 2 toilets, but one "stall"... how dumb) and such. We all ended up leaving gorgeous and well-fed. I stopped by RTA real quick to see if anyone was there-- only a few people I didn't know, but Benji was there! He didn't say anything in regards to my appearance, not even a "Oh, what's with the getup?" or a "You look nice." Blah. -.- It would have been nice if someone OTHER than my school friends said I looked good that night. Even if it is a superficial comment... But who doesn't want to be told they look great? It's very uplifting, imho. =P
Anyway, I had to run to catch up with everyone else, and my damned wrap kept slipping-- and we kept walking all over-- to the van to get everyone's shoes, since they didn't want to walk in their high heels or whatnot... I just stayed in my nice shoes all night long and got used to the blisters and such. *wince* I ahev strapped-shaped scars on my foot now... Then we were carting around going to the Holiday Inn where WE weren't even staying... total waste of time. Sachi was being quite bitchy to me too, for some reason, and with Michelle there ALREADY getting on my nerves, it wasn't helping. We wasted over an hour dealing with them, waiting around-- and I was pretty eager to get to the prom to see my other friends, take pictures, and enjoy myself. But I was with a stubborn set of friends, and they didn't even want to walk with me to try and find a bathroom at the Holiday Inn. Then they go off and go themselves. Damned hypocrites.
So Rochelle called me several times wondering where I was, and each time I had to despairingly tell her we weren't even close to getting there yet, but I'd see her... "soon"...! We finally got there after 9:00, maybe even later, since I remember people worrying about the doors closing on us (and the doors closed at 10pm). No one was out in the courtyard anymore, but we didn't have to do any wandering to find where the Prom was-- all these admins were there, and everyone looked really nice... =D Eva pretty much barrelled into me like a cannon, which was cool-- she was quite excited. Her dress wasn't anything like I'd imagined, but the colors was just mesmerizing! I was all @_@... ooohh...
There was a lot of hanging around, hunting, and spotting-- a good deal of the time at prom was spent sitting on couches, standing around, and of course, waiting for our turn to take pictures. The music wasn't that great, to be honest-- a lot of the same stuff over and over, and only a few requests on the list were honored. Lots of hip hop, but gorgeous dancers like Ellen and Astrid, even in their Prom Gowns with their nice hair tore up the floor. I mean WOW-- they were really good.
Ho hum... yeah, since we didn't get there till after 9, it all seemed pretty short, except when we were waiting in line to take pictures. I took two sets-- one with the Eva group, and one with the Sheila/Rochelle group. There was still a bunch of pics I didn't get, but hopefully the kodakCam I turned into Walgreen's today will more than make up for that. =)
Okay, so at 11:55 they turned the lights on... I hadn't done THAT much dancing, aside from the laughable incidences with Rochelle and her BF, Don. She told me to pretend he was Cunningham! I practically screamed and dived under the nearest table-- people were looking at me funny when I came out from underneath, expecting a guy to come out behind me seconds later! (I wish...) Actually, I don't wish. A lot of the people that went with dates ended up fighting! Not the same-sex couples, though. ;}
Yeah, Sung and Holly won Prom Queen and King, resepectively, which was cool-- I was afraid people like Eugene and Cindy would win-- but they only got Duke and Duchess, I believe. Tony Chu and his date won too, Baron and Baronness, I believe. (You know in the yearbook, they called the Homecoming Baron and Baronness 'Baren' and 'Bareness'. This is yet another reason why I'm not a fan of the Surveyor, our yearbook) The floor was pretty packed for the slow, "court" dance... so I went to the picture room to wait in line for that.
Oh, and I actually talked to Ali-- it's been probably 3 years, since he was crushing on me Freshman year, and I didn't know what to do-- I was awfully smitten with Cunningham at the time, and that went nowhere. So part of me regrets not pursuing Ali, but I was a little naive and afraid back then. Besides, he's been with his girlfriend for a long time now, and they seem very happy together... *remembers all the times she passed Ali and his girlfriend macking in the hall, feeling horribly jealous and uncomfortable* Really, I am.
So people started leaving after a while... and that was Prom. Not much of a theme to it all, and sort of small... but still okay.
Okay, so maybe it was a bad idea to go with Steph and them. I figured they'd be more fun to hang out with than Eva and Crystal, since they were doing a potluck and such, and I would also be the only non-Asian there (it's weird, I'm never conscious of that kind of thing at school, but in personal settings, I suddenly become very aware of whether or not I'm the only white girl). =P In any case, not that fun.
I mean, it was pretty cool to begin with... we didn't do much like I thought we would. Dinner was cool and all that, but after prom... well, we went back to the Holiday Inn and such, and when we finally got on the road again, we were to head out to Serra Bowl. But Steph and Paul kept blasting stupid music in the front seat, and me, all alone in back, had to keep yelling at them to quit it, because I was getting nauseous from the speakers vibrating and my ears ringing. They didn't listen.
Then, when we finally go to Serra bowl, no one wants to bowl! Theo said he would-- but not with us, with Susan. Paul didn't want to anymore, Kripa never did to begin with, Steph changed her mind at the last minute, and Michelle was the only other person. Then Harry, Eva, Crystal, Richard, and them showed up-- but few of them wanted to bowl either. So that idea went out the window. We decided to drive to In-N-Out and get some food, but the In-N-Out in Daly City was actually CLOSED! At 1:30 in the morning! Ridiculous... I mean, haven't we been to the INO here later than that before? RIGHT? @_o Who was it that said it would be a damned good idea to have a chain of various restaurants with JUST late night hours? Such a fantastic idea... I'm so nocturnal these days.
No one wanted to go to Krispy Kreme, which was right next door and still open, so then we ended up going to Mel's-- and let me tell you, the ride there was HELL! FRIGGIN' HELL! If the music and the driving had been bad before, now it was worse. I kept asking them to PLEASE turn it down, but they didn't care, they kept jacking the volume up as if they didn't give a shit that I was really starting to feel sick. So what if I was one person out of 5, did Paul really want me to barf on his back seat? And I was really close to doing it too. I started crying my eyes out, but Kripa and Michelle, in the seat in front of me, just ignored me. I KNOW they heard me-- I asked them later on why they did it, and it was because they thought I was overreacting. Well thanks for even considering my feelings! For a while, I really didn't know if they were my friends or not.
The whole thing at Mel's was pretty strained-- I looked like shit, and it wasn't until Harry asked if I was okay that I snapped out of it. Harry, of all people. He seems to have a kind streak I didn't see in him before, but maybe it was short-lived. He's pretty cool when he's nice though. Not SCARY, I mean. So I got myself a strawberry and whip creme waffle... my throat was so sore from all the crying I just had water, and my voice STILL sounds like shit. Like a frog died in my throat. I sincerely hope I get better for Thursday... even if I blend with everyone else, I really want to give the graduation sing my all.
I got the ride back to Steph's in Harry's car-- let me tell you, MUCH more pleasant. I was very tempted to just go home, but all my stuff was at Steph's, and I didn't really want to leave them with the opportunity to diss me behind my back (which they probably did anyway). There was racing involved on the way back-- ridiculous too, since Paul was in the Dodge Caravan, and Harry was in some SUV. Killer machines, the both of them. Harry won on the way to Mel's, Paul won on the way to Steph's. Attribute both wins to the drivers' foreknowledge of 'shortcuts,' as they said. Whatever.
I was zonked, so I went right to sleep-- the sleeping arrangements were a bit wacky, but we all stayed in Steph's room-- I lulled myself to sleep reading some Sweet Valley University-- man, I miss those books! I used to be such a SV fan-- the Unicorns series, SVH... and now SVU! I was so upset when they canceled the TV series, and Breaker High too-- I loved those shows. Earlier at Prom, Sung and I were singing the theme songs! ^.~ I wonder if they have episodes on DVD...?
Michelle had to leave early the next day, so I had to get out of her sleeping bag (ugh) and into Steph's bed, since she and Kripa weren't tired anymore; I slept for a while longer before we all got up and left-- Paul gave me a ride home. I figured we would be doing something, like watching Finding Nemo, later that day, but that plan fell through, and I ended up napping most of the time on the couch. I wonder if they did something without me and Kripa just told me they didn't go at all...? Ah, bah, I can always ask if they saw it. I sort of heard spoilers from Astrid today during choir practice, so... @_@;
Okay, so Mike calls me the other night-- yesterday, actually, and he starts asking me if I want to meet his brother. He mentioned something about him before, but this time he was being pretty insistent-- kept saying things like he was going to come over, and he kept mentioning how I'd remarked LAST WEEK how I was sad, lonely, and horny. From now on, I will watch what I will say to Mike! He has a too-good memory... Well, it turns out that Dave, his brother, was asleep, so Mike couldn't get him to go to my house-- a relief, since after all my napping, my look was a mess, and my voice still sounded like shit (still does).
Dave IMd me out of nowhere tonight and we had a conversation-- sort of cool, on and off... but right when he asked if it was okay to come over, mom came home. =P Blah, and I still haven't finished THE EAGLE online thing. I didn't buy the CD stickers I needed, and right now, my printer's being a bitch anyhow. Oh well, looks like I'll have to resort to using good old fashioned permanent markers! One of the primary reasons I bought the rainbow colored set anyway, even if I am missing 4 "important" colors. But it turns out I can't download the ZIP file I uploaded to FolgerGraphics; I have to get the files from school before I can add any real content to the page. But at least the paper's supposed to come out tomorrow, so before rehearsal I can snag a copy... and during rehearsal, hopefully Ishibashi will let me make an announcement so the senior staff can distribute. =) It'll give the students something to look at during the boring parts of rehearsal anyway! ^_^
Let's just hope I don't start railing on the yearbook for their snotty comment about them working twice as hard as us. I'll never forgive them for that.
Oh, and tomorrow I plan on dropping off a note to Mrs. K to give to J.Po... ^_^ Yes yes, plans are progressing! Graduation should be good-- hey, even Dave might come, which would be cool! But there's a limited number of people I can "invite" to a post-graduation dinner, maybe at Benihana, maybe at Hotel Nikko, maybe at CPK. Wherever it ends up being, I know my mom can't pay for everyone, so I hope people I invite don't mind getting dinner... >_> Friday, in any case, is Dave's birthday, and if I could drag him to RTA and INO, I would... but I think he's celebrating with his family. =) So party will be Friday then.
Hopefully I'll see Lonnie tomorrow... and I'll give Mrs. K the note... and... well yeah, I have to print it out at school first. -.- I wonder what the final schedule for tomorrow is? I hope it's 1, 2, 7, and not 1, 3, 6-- I'm counting on being able to give Mrs. K the note tomorrow so she gives it to Jonathan on Wednesday, so he can give me a decision on him coming to a post-grad thing by Thursday. Good plan, eh? *grin* Ahh... yeah. So I have to show up to school early, and hopefully not interrupt one of Diesel's finals.
Sitting here eating deformed, tangy Bing cherries, bitching about not being able to find my precious font (The wonderful people at Tokyopop have given it a name-- it's called Suburban! I LOVE YOU, TOKYOPOP! -.-; Now can I download it from you...?) for free... and yeah. Better work on Photoshopping the buttons for THE EAGLE page, at any rate.
Can you believe I was listening to BSB earlier? Ah, those were the days. I still vividly remember Amy Wong screaming down the halls of the Girls' Gym at Presidio Middle School: "I wanna have Nick Carter's Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hehe... =)
[ Current Clothes ] Short white baby-tee, long-sleeved blu-flower shirt, super-wide leg chevingnon jeans.
[ Current Mood ] sick, sad, nervous, giddy
[ Current Music ] Kagayaku Sora to Kimi no Koe - Ranma 1/2 OST
[ Current Taste ] Sort of chicken soup, sort of white grape juice
[ Current Make-up ] The faded remnants of lip gloss
[ Current Hair ] all over the place, but somehow cool
[ Current CD in CD Player] Uhm, my weird mix of Anime, Bemani, and Other songs. I listened to it while doing the dishes.
[ Current Worry ] That I'm never going to see certain friends again; that I'll somehow f*ck up at graduation, that I won't get to see J.Po again, that I'll be sick on graduation; that no one I care about will come to my graduation; that my friends will keep ignoring me
LAST PERSON...
[ you touched ] Uhm, probably Kripa as I was getting out of the van.
[ you talked to ] Mike. He was trying to convince me to let his brother (whom I've never met before) to come over to my house (when my mom's not home) for some late night "fun." -.- How very Mike. I think.
[ you hugged ] My PILLOW!
[ you instant messaged ] Uhm... Oliver. =P
[ you yelled at ] Kripa and them. I'm sorry, they were being quite bratty at Prom.
FAVORITE...
[ food ] Sweet 'n' sour chicken w/ steamed rice
[ candy ] Snickers, Andes Candies, Apple Sour Belts/Lollipops
[ animal ] Pandas, clown fish, penguins, dogs, cats, brachiosauruses. =P
[ tv show] Alias, now I guess, esp. that Buffy's ended.
[ dance ] Bunny hop.
[ song ] Eh, depends on the genre.
[ cartoon ] *scratches head* I don't watch CARTOONS, I watch *ANIME*
ARE YOU...
[ understanding ] Uh, most of the time... stuff just takes a while to "sink in" is all. I don't just up and be all "oh yeah, that's fine fine" and MEAN it, in my heart of hearts...
[ open-minded ] Have to be.
[ arrogant ] Used to be, I'd like to think I have more humility now.
[ insecure ] More than is healthy.
[ interesting ] Ehehe...
[ hungry ] Feelin' kinda sick, so half-yes, half-no.
[ friendly ] For the most part. I'm (believe it or not) pretty shy when I first meet people, but close to aggressive when I want something. But I'm playful.
[ smart ] I don't see how my SAT score can go from a 1450 to a 1150. -.- That's not smart.
[ moody ] Oh hell yeah. I mean some days I think I'm worse than a pregnant woman. But other times I'm cool XP
[ childish ] Ahaha, if it fits the situation and/or I'm hyper.
[ independent ] I try to be, but then I end up being too dependent on other circumstances.
[ hard working ] When properly motivated. The motivation's the hard part.
[ organized ] I like to organize everything which is not my own. Go figure.
[ emotionally stable ] -.-; I'm "borderline."
[ shy ] Ehehe... depends on the situation.
[ difficult ] Ask my friends (go ahead, I bet they'll say yes)
[ obsessed ] With some things, I guess. I wish I had an off switch.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
[ kill ] Aiman. THAT LITTLE BASTARD! (he was the one ripping down all of Sung's prom queen posters!)
[ slap ] Hmm, funny how it's mostly guys. They need to start waking up to the real world.
[ get really wasted with ] Mike! He's fun to get wasted with. Not that I've ever been "wasted" with him per se...
[ look like ] Rena from SO2! I bought the hair stuff for only $1.99 each!
[ talk to online ] Mike, because he SAID he'd be here, but he's NOT, and I sorta want to vent, not to mention make some corrections about stuff he heard me say the last time we talked...
-HAVE YOU EVER/WHICH OF YOUR FRIENDS...-
[ been in love ] Eh, love is a many splendid thing. *stabs it*
[ cried when someone died ] -.- I tried not to. Didn't work.
[ makes u laugh the most? ] Uhm... Vince! =D
[ makes you smile ] Uhm, most of them, really. =) Why else would they be friends if they couldn't?
[ who do you have a crush on? ] J.Po... but isn't that obvious by now?
[ has a crush on u? ] Hmm, I HOPE J.Po does, that would be nice. =P Uhm, probably some other people... maybe one sorely disillusioned friend? *frown* I sound egostistical, changing subjects now.
[ is the easiest to talk to ] Oh lots of them. Depends on the situation. Sometimes Eva, sometimes Cassie... Colleen and Corinna are fun, but so's Sung, and there's Will, Vince, Amber... ^_^ I feel so lucky to have all of them.
-DO YOU EVER-
[ sit on the internet all night waiting for someone special to I.M. u?] ^^; According to Nikki, I'm stupid for doing this. But hey, it occupied my time... >_>
[ save aol/aim conversations ] Heck yeah! The SMRFF ones are a laugh riot!
[ wish u were a member of the opposite sex ] At least once every month... but that's usually the only time. I'll probably wish it when (never mind that, IF!) I give birth...
-H A V E . Y O U . E V E R- (didn't we already do this above?)
[ fallen for ur best friend ] Ah yeah. Not a good thing to do.
[ been rejected ] -.- More times than I can count, thanks for the reminder.
[ rejected someone ] Yeah. It's not easy, so I guess that's both sides of the story for you.
[ used someone ] It FEELS like I have, but I don't think I ever actually HAVE, and just walked away from it. I have guilt issues.
[ been cheated on ] Hmm, I've always had the suspicion, but no. Leastwise, I don't THINK so. I'm better off not knowing, IMHO.
[ done something u regret ] Well, I try not to regret stuff. I do think of things I could have done differently, but that doesn't mean I regret what has brought me to where I am. I wouldn't be "me" if I hadn't done stuff-- good, bad, or otherwise. We're all human, we make mistakes...
-DO YOU/ARE YOU-
[ color ur hair ] Yeah, and in about a week I'll see if I can scrounge up $70 for my bleaching. =}
[ habla espanol ] ^^; No... demo, Nihongo o hanashimasu!
[ how many people are on ur buddy list? ] 167. Used to be 200, but I deleted the people I never speak to anymore.
[ drink alcohol? ] Depends on the situation. Only socially.
[ like watching sunrises or sunset ] Sunset is always nice to watch, especially if you're in a nice place and you're with good friends. Sounds like something cool to do... a bonfire, barbeque, and a sunset-watching over at the beach. Maybe when Mike comes back? Anyone else like this idea?
[ what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain? ] Emotional pain. Physical pain may hurt a LOT and everything, but 90% of the time, it heals. Emotional pain can scar for life, and result in even more damage.
-N U M B E R-
[ of times I have had my heart broken? ] Ooh, probably... 3 times? Don't make me name names though.
[ of hearts I have broken? ] Maybe one or two, but even THAT'S a mite egotistical.
[ I WANT: ] To stop feeling sick, to just be able to get up and do the things I spend so much time *thinking* about.
[ I HAVE: ] Too much stuff.
[ I WISH: ] For more wishes.
[ I MISS: ] My sister-- talk about irony, Nikki...
[ I DANCE: ] Sexy, but not half as good as so many of my other friends.
[ I SING: ] In choir. But right now, I sound froggish.
[ I HEAR: ] Voices in my head... =D
[ I WRITE: ] In my journal, much too much.
[ I AM HAPPY: ] When I'm happy, healthy, and surrounded by friends that aren't ignoring me.
[ I SHOULD HAVE: ] x_X Don't ask me that, I'll turn into a tomato!
*sigh* Kinda sad. But truthful? Quite possibly [not?!].
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Why being ignored sucks
Pre-Prom
Things to love/hate about Prom
Ignorance sucks, Part 2
Mike tries to set me up?!
More survey goodness
Being ignored really sucks. I mean, aside from the fact that it's just plain rude, especially if you're ignoring a friend, but you have no idea the kind of thoughts someone INTENTIONALLY being secluded has in their head. They can range from sad and lonely to murderous, depending on the person and their mood. And if you've ever been in that situation yourself, why would you want to inflict that kind of thing on someone else-- a friend, no less?
I didn't go to the Natalise benefit concert on Friday, because I decided that my friends at RTA were much more important. And they are, don't get me wrong, but that didn't stop me from regretting, if even for a minute, going to RTA instead of the concert. I mean, I had money to spend, since I'd bought stuff from Walgreen's earlier that day, like my camera for Prom, my blue [hair] stuff, and some facial needs. I was trying to be friendly and stuff by offering to buy shakes for people that went to In-N-Out-- I was thinking maybe one or two people, but then it just seemed like they were taking advantage of me.
Don't get me wrong, I had a good amount of fun at RTA on Friday and all, but... I hate being lonely. Just wandering around the arcade looking for someone to talk to. And why is it that every time I see Jimmy, no matter how hard I try, we end up getting into some petty argument? I hate that. And yes, I know I provoke it myself, but everything with people is a two-way street, and you can't really place blame. I wish I could handle those kind of things better, instead of getting so huffy over his insertions on my commentary. =P This is why people say you should never say anything aloud unless you want someone and their dog to remark on it.
Claudia -Sen- was there, and I watched her and Will play Initial D version 2. It's quite cool to see so many girls getting into iD and being really good at it-- I mean, there's Gina... not too many other girls I know though, to be honest. And Claudia's nice, even though I don't know her that well or talk to her that much. I don't even know where she's from, but as the arcade was starting to get near closing time, she and Will left because she had to get home.
I dunno, it just seemed like people really didn't want to talk or hang out with me that night-- was I acting weird? I mean beforehand. I got people to sign my yearbook though, so maybe I should just go through and see what they said... *worry* Hope it's nothing evil and painful...
Anyway, when we finally left in this massive group, Will came back from behind and bopped me on the head with his poster-- guess he'd decided to stick with us after all, which was cool. But then he didn't talk to me much. What would we say, anyway? I wish I had some preformatted list of conversation topic for every friend I know, so things don't turn into a series of "sad, lonely, uncomfortable, awkward silences." That happens too often for someone who's supposed to be as outgoing and a "people person" like me. Ugh.
I was pretty pissed as we all walked to In-N-Out-- I felt like the only reason I was there was because people wanted me to buy them shakes. I was pretty grumpy for a while-- and sad when I found out Fred and Francisco up and disappeared. Fred most especially, after what I found out tonight-- from Oliver, of all people. Moving to Mexico. God, I'm going to miss him.
So many people that I really care about are just uprooting themselves and going away, and while it must be the best for them, hard on them as well, I guess I don't have any right to be so upset. It's not like anything I can say or do will keep them here, and if I could do that, they'd be upset and miserable. *sigh* So I guess I'm really happy for these people-- for Fred, for Eva, for... well, everyone. I wish them the best and hope they'll stay in touch, and visit every once in a while. I'm just sad, is all, and it comes with the territory.
Well, my mood improved by the end of the night anyway-- Benji's always a fantastic guy to get a smile from. He's incredibly talented, even if he is so mysterious. Quite a puzzle he is. Whenever he writes his birthday out, he always leaves the year as ?? @_@; Very unnerving. Now that I think about it, no wonder he and Lonnie are friends. They're both... pretty spooky, for lack of a better word. Anyway, Benji was just making jokes all night, and everyone was joining in-- quite the number of laughs. I got a picture on my kodak Digicam that I'll eventually turn into a sig for NBoR. *smirks* I liiiiiiiiiike Vanilla Shakes (too lazy to do all the l33t-typing for it)
Let's see, afterwards, our party slimmed down a lot-- Vince had to go home, once we were rest assured that Cris didn't develop diabetes or something and was dying in the bathroom (believe me, it was a big scare for me; a painful reminder of another Chris I know with diabetes... one that I miss very much and would do a lot to see and talk to again). So those of us left took the F to the Metreon-- Will stayed on the train and headed home, since he seemed tired. Going to the Met probably wasn't that good for me, given that I had to do all that prep for Prom the next day... but it ended up working out anyway, I guess.
So I think the party came down to... uh, let's see Cris, Jimmy, Benji, PsyJoe, Baka, Oliver... @_o not sure who else. I played a game of DDR, but I was really slacking off in bits, even though I did full combo another song (forgot what it was... I'll have to ask Oliver if he uploaded the image of it yet; he had his camera and was all about taking pictures). Played Initial D (version 1... if I'd had enough money at RTA to play Ver. 2, I would have, but I couldn't afford the upgrade) and beat Itsuki (Iggy) with my LanEvo... man, I haven't played with that card in a while. It's kinda freaky how I can get up to 185 km/h and be like "Augh, so sloooow" while with my Integra, when I hit 154 km/h, that's "slow," so when I get it going faster, it's like "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" chipmunk on speed!
=P Still can't beat Shingo though. Maybe I should just upgrade my Integra next week so I won't have to deal with him on Version 1 anymore! =P
Oh yeah, at RTA, I tried to upgrade my Integra, but it was more money than I thought it would be. So I ended up playing with a Cappucino as "Player" (haha, maybe I should get a card to say that? But I have a 5 character limit... =P) and I was just going NUTS! Itsuki in Ver. 2 is SO FULL of himself, and I really wanted to cut him down to size. But Jer and Will seemed INTENT on focusing my road rage (someone asks how you can get road rage on a driving game. I throw the steering wheel at them) and kept cracking jokes and stuff, and for a while, it worked- I managed to take that dinky little car from hell and actually catch UP to Itsuki after a 135 lag! But I kept losing it on the Myogi hairpin (which isn't really a hairpin, now that I think about it) and even though I got a good drift going (I think I'm getting better at it...) I just lost it in the last lap-- still, with a better lag than other people might have had with that sort of lack of control.
Okay back to the Metreon... uhm, gee, I pretty much said all I did. People came and went without saying "goodbye" or anything... I called Lonnie to see what he was up to, and he called me back as I was on my way home, which was nice. I was so zonked when I got home that I just fell asleep, but I wasn't oblivious to the fact that Mom WAS NOT home. Hmm.
Okay, so I planned to wake up at 11am and have enough time to get ready, do the dishes, and meet Kripa at the Park Presidio bus stop on Geary by 1:00. But Mom STILL wasn't home. I hate it when she does that. She always nags me to call her whenever MY plans change and I end up staying at someone's house (which rarely happens anymore, but it should-- Amber, another sleepover soon? Or Vince? We gotta do that. Party for no reason. Well, school ending. HAH! There's a reason!)
Anyway, so I told myself that if I was to survive Prom with a smile on my face, I had to get more sleep... little did I know how much preparation was really involved. I'd put off doing the dishes again, but the sleep was well worth it. I had some nice dreams, too... ~_~ I finally got out of bed after the 2nd time Kripa called at 11:45ish... then I just went nuts. I mean, I had to get my dress and wrap into the garment bag; put my shoes in the other pouch; decide what makeup to bring and make sure all my jewelry, purse, and accessories were together, and I had something to "do" at Steph's house prior to getting dressed... So I brought my book of Wyrd, which I touched only slightly during the course of the weekend. At least I have an idea for a section other than Red (Guys) ... I think maybe Orange will be Friends, and then maybe I can use another section for just Girls.
Anyway, so without mom being home, I was paranoid-- where were my gloves, the coat I had to wear, what about money for dinner and photos?! She finally called me back after I left an angry rant at her just before I stepped into the shower (and no, even cordless phones and cells do NOT belong in the shower...) and came home pretty fast. Yay to that, but she didn't really help out much like I hoped she had. She did help me get some semblance of a breakfast together as I was rushing around-- damned Strawberry Cheerios are just one big up and one LONG down. You get the energy really quick, and then you just want to pass out.
I brought so much makeup and stuff with me, I knew that getting back to my house would be hell-- it wasn't really, the hell came later (another story for later) but all the same, it was a lot of stuff. When I met up with Kripa, we were both uberbogged down, and she had her long, fleecy pillow with her, since we were both staying over. We didn't get a seat at first (rude guys!) but finally some kids left the bus and we settled in. But getting to Van Ness was quicker than we thought, even if the bus was a limited, and then we had to hop on the 47 to head to Steph's.
We didn't do much at first-- there was only the four of us there, which wasn't so bad. I mean things were nuts to begin with, just with the four of us. With the way Michelle kept saying that there were going to be like, 15 people, I thought she meant all at Steph's! Thank god for that not being true. We spent some time just hanging-- we had some Chinese food (but not what I really craved, Sweet N Sour chicken) and some tea, then we chilled in her room talking and stuff. I fell asleep with my jacket over my head while Kripa read a magazine. When I woke up, it was about an hour and a half later, and my hair, for some inexplicable reason, looked GREAT! Isn't that weird, how "bed head" can sometimes look so stylin'? I didn't need to do that much to it with the Thermacell anyway, so it was all good. =)
When we finally did get started, the order was: dress, makeup, accessories, hair. Of course, in the process of changing, everyone had to comment on everyone else-- to be blunt, I had the most decorative dress of the lot of them. Kripa's EXPRESS dress was really nice and sexy, but quite simple-- less so than Steph's, which was just a layered "little black dress" and Michelle's huge, shiny white thing. Kripa, Steph and I all had the right idea, I'm sorry to say, but black is much better to wear to a prom than white-- not only do you not have to be so careful about things like spills, but you don't have to worry about whether you look fat-- black is THE slimming color. =P I believe it sort of worked for me...
Haha, the one comment I got the most during pre-prom was "Geez Mer, your boobs are so big!" That was flattering and embarassing at the same time; everyone kept comparing Bra sizes and stuff, arguing over what the proper way to measure it was, and which ones were the best. It didn't help that Kripa kept complaining about her strapless pushup that she had to wear with her dress-- she kept "groping" herself and it was just really funny and cute at the same time. (For the record, Kripa never ever seems naughty... she's not uberinnocent, but she's sure as hell not winged)
Anyway, so we all finally fumbled into our dresses-- I still thought I looked at least PARTIALLY like a carpet bag, but once I get the pics and post them up (here, NBoR, Snapshot) you can be the judge. We started doing makeup and hair, and I realized while doing my eyeshadow job that I REALLY shouldn't have forgotten my contacts. When I realized I'd left them at home, I was already close to Geary and late, so I just kept going, telling myself that a) people knew me as the girl with glasses; I'd been with glasses longer than I'd been without; and b) Going back and getting them necessarily wouldn't help; I still had tons of stuff to carry, not to mention the overly-long process of getting my contacts IN (at a different house than I'm used to!) as well. So... yeah. But I still wish I'd gotten them in earlier.
Got everything on and in for the most part-- no last minute breakages. But the pantyhose my mom bought did NOT have a sheer toe, and there was no way in hell I was going to wear toeless shoes that were SO nice looking, with the nice gold pedicure Kripa'd given me with black pantyhose. Ugh. For the record, I cannot do ANYTHING with my own hair. Getting my own eyeliner to look acceptable (i.e. not like someone socked me a good one) is hard enough. But when that Thermacell hits my hair and *I'm* the one holding it, expect Annie-like curls and extreme dentage. Yes, hair can DENT. But Steph did a nice job with it, even though my hair looked pretty cool as it was. No fancy hair clip, but my earrings and the choker which Rochelle made Friday afternoon (from my BELT! She's so cool!) looked great. The rhinestone thing worked really well I think, and I didn't have to worry about my purse clashing with everything. =D
I got my makeup to look REALLY nice-- I'm glad we took "before and after" pics-- I'll post those once I get them developed! ^_^ TGF Kodak Digicam! =D Free PhotoCD! Anyway, there wasn't much else beyond all that-- I did some of Kripa's hair, trying to give her ponytail "life," but she ended up taking it out by the time we got to the Holiday Inn where a bunch of our friends were staying for a *wink wink* "wedding." Bah, I think all this idiocy about not being able to stay at a hotel unless you're 20 is garbage. I've never heard of that before, and my mom WORKS for a hotel.
Anyway, onto all that craziness later. PROM!
So Paul looked really good when he came to pick us up in the Caravan-- Dodge Caravan, that is. =P He seriously reminded me of Bob Saget (sp?), you know, from the old America's Funniest Home Videos? BEFORE they called it AFV? Haha... yeah, quite freaky. Theo and his date, Susan were already in the car-- Susan had a REALLY nice dress, rhinestones and embroidery and everything, and it was strapless-- but highly original and VERY beautiful. No gloves though, so I felt kinda out of place.
Theo had bought roses for Susan, Kripa, and Steph, so again the left out-edness. Michelle wasn't supposed to get one, but she took a bouquet anyway. -.- I just can't be nice to her. She butts into what isn't her business, and... gah, she's leaving for North Carolina soon, I'll never have to deal with her again. Hopefully that will be the same for Leanne Davis. UGH.
For some reason, everyone headed to Holiday Inn first-- "everyone" meaning those not in the car with us, like Sung, Corinna, Erin DMC, Marina, etc. The only ones in the car with us were Paul, Sachi, Theo, Susan, myself, Michelle, Kripa, and Steph. It was pretty full, and not many of us buckled up, which was a BAD IDEA, because, as I learned the hard way later on, Paul is anything but the perfect driver. -.-; And worse, he's given Kripa lessons. I'm glad she's "learning to drive," but Paul isn't exactly the best teacher...
Well, we had to find parking, but not in the expensive garage near the pier (as it turned out, the North Beach Pizza we were going to was the one above RTA) or at the Hyatt... somewhere on the street, because Paul was cheap. =P I had to give directions the whole way, and when we got dropped off at the curb near Pier 39 (you know, where all those bicycle-cart guys wait?) all these tourists were looking at us funny, and I was trying not to be uberembarassed or anything. ^^; We strutted our stuff nonetheless! Haha...
I didn't stop by RTA like I wanted, because everyone just wanted to get into NBP... which I was against going to, because every time my mom's ordered from there, it's made me sick. I'm feeling sick now, but for some reason I don't think it was the food at NBP, it was probably the fruit punch from prom or something. Or maybe the cherries... or the strawberries... @_@ Anyway, Sung was there, and he looked REALLY handsome in his tux/suit/whatever it was. Topic of discussion for a while was whether Sung'd win prom queen or not; everyone really wanted him to win, but he had a lot of competition, mostly from self-centered FOBs and HKs... =P i.e. people I don't care for too much. Sung told me my homeroom and Hamill's homeroom's (his "powerhouses") had been disqualified-- for being late, and for supposedly being rigged. In the end, it turned out to be a good thing, since Eugene (whom I didn't know was on the ballot with his bitchy girlfriend, Cindy) rigged the votes in our reg and voted himself for king, and Cindy for Queen. UGH!
Sung had a cheesy gold crown to use, since he said that the crown they'd have would be dorky anyway. He was improving on his "acceptance speech" that he'd first given at the VAPA awards-- something about thanking all the little people he'd stepped on to get there, but they probably deserved it anyway! It was cruel, but so very Sung-- and probably true too, considering his opponents. After all, Chiaki, while a nice, beautiful girl, has won so many of the other courts before. Sung was serious about winning, and people were being stupid, jealous, and homophobic, ripping down his posters and everything. =P Blah.
Dinner was actually quite good-- I had myself a slice of veggie pizza, a garlic twist, some salad, and some pasta... all quite yummy. The buffet was only $15 a person, and it was "All you can eat," so I was a very happy panda. =} Got myself an orange soda too, which brightened me up some, since I hadn't had any in a while... and a cheesecake, since I was being daring and wanted to have an honestly "complete" meal, appetizers, entree and all. It wasn't as good as the one at the Garden Cafe, Corinna and Emma told me, so they want me to go to this place, somewhere on 33rd and Geary, and try for myself. And here I thought the Cheesecake Factory was the place to go. =P
Well, after much confusion over payment (Susan and Theo were smart and paid separately) we got to go... people were trying to find the waitress, go to the bathroom (the women's bathroom had 2 toilets, but one "stall"... how dumb) and such. We all ended up leaving gorgeous and well-fed. I stopped by RTA real quick to see if anyone was there-- only a few people I didn't know, but Benji was there! He didn't say anything in regards to my appearance, not even a "Oh, what's with the getup?" or a "You look nice." Blah. -.- It would have been nice if someone OTHER than my school friends said I looked good that night. Even if it is a superficial comment... But who doesn't want to be told they look great? It's very uplifting, imho. =P
Anyway, I had to run to catch up with everyone else, and my damned wrap kept slipping-- and we kept walking all over-- to the van to get everyone's shoes, since they didn't want to walk in their high heels or whatnot... I just stayed in my nice shoes all night long and got used to the blisters and such. *wince* I ahev strapped-shaped scars on my foot now... Then we were carting around going to the Holiday Inn where WE weren't even staying... total waste of time. Sachi was being quite bitchy to me too, for some reason, and with Michelle there ALREADY getting on my nerves, it wasn't helping. We wasted over an hour dealing with them, waiting around-- and I was pretty eager to get to the prom to see my other friends, take pictures, and enjoy myself. But I was with a stubborn set of friends, and they didn't even want to walk with me to try and find a bathroom at the Holiday Inn. Then they go off and go themselves. Damned hypocrites.
So Rochelle called me several times wondering where I was, and each time I had to despairingly tell her we weren't even close to getting there yet, but I'd see her... "soon"...! We finally got there after 9:00, maybe even later, since I remember people worrying about the doors closing on us (and the doors closed at 10pm). No one was out in the courtyard anymore, but we didn't have to do any wandering to find where the Prom was-- all these admins were there, and everyone looked really nice... =D Eva pretty much barrelled into me like a cannon, which was cool-- she was quite excited. Her dress wasn't anything like I'd imagined, but the colors was just mesmerizing! I was all @_@... ooohh...
There was a lot of hanging around, hunting, and spotting-- a good deal of the time at prom was spent sitting on couches, standing around, and of course, waiting for our turn to take pictures. The music wasn't that great, to be honest-- a lot of the same stuff over and over, and only a few requests on the list were honored. Lots of hip hop, but gorgeous dancers like Ellen and Astrid, even in their Prom Gowns with their nice hair tore up the floor. I mean WOW-- they were really good.
Ho hum... yeah, since we didn't get there till after 9, it all seemed pretty short, except when we were waiting in line to take pictures. I took two sets-- one with the Eva group, and one with the Sheila/Rochelle group. There was still a bunch of pics I didn't get, but hopefully the kodakCam I turned into Walgreen's today will more than make up for that. =)
Okay, so at 11:55 they turned the lights on... I hadn't done THAT much dancing, aside from the laughable incidences with Rochelle and her BF, Don. She told me to pretend he was Cunningham! I practically screamed and dived under the nearest table-- people were looking at me funny when I came out from underneath, expecting a guy to come out behind me seconds later! (I wish...) Actually, I don't wish. A lot of the people that went with dates ended up fighting! Not the same-sex couples, though. ;}
Yeah, Sung and Holly won Prom Queen and King, resepectively, which was cool-- I was afraid people like Eugene and Cindy would win-- but they only got Duke and Duchess, I believe. Tony Chu and his date won too, Baron and Baronness, I believe. (You know in the yearbook, they called the Homecoming Baron and Baronness 'Baren' and 'Bareness'. This is yet another reason why I'm not a fan of the Surveyor, our yearbook) The floor was pretty packed for the slow, "court" dance... so I went to the picture room to wait in line for that.
Oh, and I actually talked to Ali-- it's been probably 3 years, since he was crushing on me Freshman year, and I didn't know what to do-- I was awfully smitten with Cunningham at the time, and that went nowhere. So part of me regrets not pursuing Ali, but I was a little naive and afraid back then. Besides, he's been with his girlfriend for a long time now, and they seem very happy together... *remembers all the times she passed Ali and his girlfriend macking in the hall, feeling horribly jealous and uncomfortable* Really, I am.
So people started leaving after a while... and that was Prom. Not much of a theme to it all, and sort of small... but still okay.
Okay, so maybe it was a bad idea to go with Steph and them. I figured they'd be more fun to hang out with than Eva and Crystal, since they were doing a potluck and such, and I would also be the only non-Asian there (it's weird, I'm never conscious of that kind of thing at school, but in personal settings, I suddenly become very aware of whether or not I'm the only white girl). =P In any case, not that fun.
I mean, it was pretty cool to begin with... we didn't do much like I thought we would. Dinner was cool and all that, but after prom... well, we went back to the Holiday Inn and such, and when we finally got on the road again, we were to head out to Serra Bowl. But Steph and Paul kept blasting stupid music in the front seat, and me, all alone in back, had to keep yelling at them to quit it, because I was getting nauseous from the speakers vibrating and my ears ringing. They didn't listen.
Then, when we finally go to Serra bowl, no one wants to bowl! Theo said he would-- but not with us, with Susan. Paul didn't want to anymore, Kripa never did to begin with, Steph changed her mind at the last minute, and Michelle was the only other person. Then Harry, Eva, Crystal, Richard, and them showed up-- but few of them wanted to bowl either. So that idea went out the window. We decided to drive to In-N-Out and get some food, but the In-N-Out in Daly City was actually CLOSED! At 1:30 in the morning! Ridiculous... I mean, haven't we been to the INO here later than that before? RIGHT? @_o Who was it that said it would be a damned good idea to have a chain of various restaurants with JUST late night hours? Such a fantastic idea... I'm so nocturnal these days.
No one wanted to go to Krispy Kreme, which was right next door and still open, so then we ended up going to Mel's-- and let me tell you, the ride there was HELL! FRIGGIN' HELL! If the music and the driving had been bad before, now it was worse. I kept asking them to PLEASE turn it down, but they didn't care, they kept jacking the volume up as if they didn't give a shit that I was really starting to feel sick. So what if I was one person out of 5, did Paul really want me to barf on his back seat? And I was really close to doing it too. I started crying my eyes out, but Kripa and Michelle, in the seat in front of me, just ignored me. I KNOW they heard me-- I asked them later on why they did it, and it was because they thought I was overreacting. Well thanks for even considering my feelings! For a while, I really didn't know if they were my friends or not.
The whole thing at Mel's was pretty strained-- I looked like shit, and it wasn't until Harry asked if I was okay that I snapped out of it. Harry, of all people. He seems to have a kind streak I didn't see in him before, but maybe it was short-lived. He's pretty cool when he's nice though. Not SCARY, I mean. So I got myself a strawberry and whip creme waffle... my throat was so sore from all the crying I just had water, and my voice STILL sounds like shit. Like a frog died in my throat. I sincerely hope I get better for Thursday... even if I blend with everyone else, I really want to give the graduation sing my all.
I got the ride back to Steph's in Harry's car-- let me tell you, MUCH more pleasant. I was very tempted to just go home, but all my stuff was at Steph's, and I didn't really want to leave them with the opportunity to diss me behind my back (which they probably did anyway). There was racing involved on the way back-- ridiculous too, since Paul was in the Dodge Caravan, and Harry was in some SUV. Killer machines, the both of them. Harry won on the way to Mel's, Paul won on the way to Steph's. Attribute both wins to the drivers' foreknowledge of 'shortcuts,' as they said. Whatever.
I was zonked, so I went right to sleep-- the sleeping arrangements were a bit wacky, but we all stayed in Steph's room-- I lulled myself to sleep reading some Sweet Valley University-- man, I miss those books! I used to be such a SV fan-- the Unicorns series, SVH... and now SVU! I was so upset when they canceled the TV series, and Breaker High too-- I loved those shows. Earlier at Prom, Sung and I were singing the theme songs! ^.~ I wonder if they have episodes on DVD...?
Michelle had to leave early the next day, so I had to get out of her sleeping bag (ugh) and into Steph's bed, since she and Kripa weren't tired anymore; I slept for a while longer before we all got up and left-- Paul gave me a ride home. I figured we would be doing something, like watching Finding Nemo, later that day, but that plan fell through, and I ended up napping most of the time on the couch. I wonder if they did something without me and Kripa just told me they didn't go at all...? Ah, bah, I can always ask if they saw it. I sort of heard spoilers from Astrid today during choir practice, so... @_@;
Okay, so Mike calls me the other night-- yesterday, actually, and he starts asking me if I want to meet his brother. He mentioned something about him before, but this time he was being pretty insistent-- kept saying things like he was going to come over, and he kept mentioning how I'd remarked LAST WEEK how I was sad, lonely, and horny. From now on, I will watch what I will say to Mike! He has a too-good memory... Well, it turns out that Dave, his brother, was asleep, so Mike couldn't get him to go to my house-- a relief, since after all my napping, my look was a mess, and my voice still sounded like shit (still does).
Dave IMd me out of nowhere tonight and we had a conversation-- sort of cool, on and off... but right when he asked if it was okay to come over, mom came home. =P Blah, and I still haven't finished THE EAGLE online thing. I didn't buy the CD stickers I needed, and right now, my printer's being a bitch anyhow. Oh well, looks like I'll have to resort to using good old fashioned permanent markers! One of the primary reasons I bought the rainbow colored set anyway, even if I am missing 4 "important" colors. But it turns out I can't download the ZIP file I uploaded to FolgerGraphics; I have to get the files from school before I can add any real content to the page. But at least the paper's supposed to come out tomorrow, so before rehearsal I can snag a copy... and during rehearsal, hopefully Ishibashi will let me make an announcement so the senior staff can distribute. =) It'll give the students something to look at during the boring parts of rehearsal anyway! ^_^
Let's just hope I don't start railing on the yearbook for their snotty comment about them working twice as hard as us. I'll never forgive them for that.
Oh, and tomorrow I plan on dropping off a note to Mrs. K to give to J.Po... ^_^ Yes yes, plans are progressing! Graduation should be good-- hey, even Dave might come, which would be cool! But there's a limited number of people I can "invite" to a post-graduation dinner, maybe at Benihana, maybe at Hotel Nikko, maybe at CPK. Wherever it ends up being, I know my mom can't pay for everyone, so I hope people I invite don't mind getting dinner... >_> Friday, in any case, is Dave's birthday, and if I could drag him to RTA and INO, I would... but I think he's celebrating with his family. =) So party will be Friday then.
Hopefully I'll see Lonnie tomorrow... and I'll give Mrs. K the note... and... well yeah, I have to print it out at school first. -.- I wonder what the final schedule for tomorrow is? I hope it's 1, 2, 7, and not 1, 3, 6-- I'm counting on being able to give Mrs. K the note tomorrow so she gives it to Jonathan on Wednesday, so he can give me a decision on him coming to a post-grad thing by Thursday. Good plan, eh? *grin* Ahh... yeah. So I have to show up to school early, and hopefully not interrupt one of Diesel's finals.
Sitting here eating deformed, tangy Bing cherries, bitching about not being able to find my precious font (The wonderful people at Tokyopop have given it a name-- it's called Suburban! I LOVE YOU, TOKYOPOP! -.-; Now can I download it from you...?) for free... and yeah. Better work on Photoshopping the buttons for THE EAGLE page, at any rate.
Can you believe I was listening to BSB earlier? Ah, those were the days. I still vividly remember Amy Wong screaming down the halls of the Girls' Gym at Presidio Middle School: "I wanna have Nick Carter's Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hehe... =)
[ Current Clothes ] Short white baby-tee, long-sleeved blu-flower shirt, super-wide leg chevingnon jeans.
[ Current Mood ] sick, sad, nervous, giddy
[ Current Music ] Kagayaku Sora to Kimi no Koe - Ranma 1/2 OST
[ Current Taste ] Sort of chicken soup, sort of white grape juice
[ Current Make-up ] The faded remnants of lip gloss
[ Current Hair ] all over the place, but somehow cool
[ Current CD in CD Player] Uhm, my weird mix of Anime, Bemani, and Other songs. I listened to it while doing the dishes.
[ Current Worry ] That I'm never going to see certain friends again; that I'll somehow f*ck up at graduation, that I won't get to see J.Po again, that I'll be sick on graduation; that no one I care about will come to my graduation; that my friends will keep ignoring me
LAST PERSON...
[ you touched ] Uhm, probably Kripa as I was getting out of the van.
[ you talked to ] Mike. He was trying to convince me to let his brother (whom I've never met before) to come over to my house (when my mom's not home) for some late night "fun." -.- How very Mike. I think.
[ you hugged ] My PILLOW!
[ you instant messaged ] Uhm... Oliver. =P
[ you yelled at ] Kripa and them. I'm sorry, they were being quite bratty at Prom.
FAVORITE...
[ food ] Sweet 'n' sour chicken w/ steamed rice
[ candy ] Snickers, Andes Candies, Apple Sour Belts/Lollipops
[ animal ] Pandas, clown fish, penguins, dogs, cats, brachiosauruses. =P
[ tv show] Alias, now I guess, esp. that Buffy's ended.
[ dance ] Bunny hop.
[ song ] Eh, depends on the genre.
[ cartoon ] *scratches head* I don't watch CARTOONS, I watch *ANIME*
ARE YOU...
[ understanding ] Uh, most of the time... stuff just takes a while to "sink in" is all. I don't just up and be all "oh yeah, that's fine fine" and MEAN it, in my heart of hearts...
[ open-minded ] Have to be.
[ arrogant ] Used to be, I'd like to think I have more humility now.
[ insecure ] More than is healthy.
[ interesting ] Ehehe...
[ hungry ] Feelin' kinda sick, so half-yes, half-no.
[ friendly ] For the most part. I'm (believe it or not) pretty shy when I first meet people, but close to aggressive when I want something. But I'm playful.
[ smart ] I don't see how my SAT score can go from a 1450 to a 1150. -.- That's not smart.
[ moody ] Oh hell yeah. I mean some days I think I'm worse than a pregnant woman. But other times I'm cool XP
[ childish ] Ahaha, if it fits the situation and/or I'm hyper.
[ independent ] I try to be, but then I end up being too dependent on other circumstances.
[ hard working ] When properly motivated. The motivation's the hard part.
[ organized ] I like to organize everything which is not my own. Go figure.
[ emotionally stable ] -.-; I'm "borderline."
[ shy ] Ehehe... depends on the situation.
[ difficult ] Ask my friends (go ahead, I bet they'll say yes)
[ obsessed ] With some things, I guess. I wish I had an off switch.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
[ kill ] Aiman. THAT LITTLE BASTARD! (he was the one ripping down all of Sung's prom queen posters!)
[ slap ] Hmm, funny how it's mostly guys. They need to start waking up to the real world.
[ get really wasted with ] Mike! He's fun to get wasted with. Not that I've ever been "wasted" with him per se...
[ look like ] Rena from SO2! I bought the hair stuff for only $1.99 each!
[ talk to online ] Mike, because he SAID he'd be here, but he's NOT, and I sorta want to vent, not to mention make some corrections about stuff he heard me say the last time we talked...
-HAVE YOU EVER/WHICH OF YOUR FRIENDS...-
[ been in love ] Eh, love is a many splendid thing. *stabs it*
[ cried when someone died ] -.- I tried not to. Didn't work.
[ makes u laugh the most? ] Uhm... Vince! =D
[ makes you smile ] Uhm, most of them, really. =) Why else would they be friends if they couldn't?
[ who do you have a crush on? ] J.Po... but isn't that obvious by now?
[ has a crush on u? ] Hmm, I HOPE J.Po does, that would be nice. =P Uhm, probably some other people... maybe one sorely disillusioned friend? *frown* I sound egostistical, changing subjects now.
[ is the easiest to talk to ] Oh lots of them. Depends on the situation. Sometimes Eva, sometimes Cassie... Colleen and Corinna are fun, but so's Sung, and there's Will, Vince, Amber... ^_^ I feel so lucky to have all of them.
-DO YOU EVER-
[ sit on the internet all night waiting for someone special to I.M. u?] ^^; According to Nikki, I'm stupid for doing this. But hey, it occupied my time... >_>
[ save aol/aim conversations ] Heck yeah! The SMRFF ones are a laugh riot!
[ wish u were a member of the opposite sex ] At least once every month... but that's usually the only time. I'll probably wish it when (never mind that, IF!) I give birth...
-H A V E . Y O U . E V E R- (didn't we already do this above?)
[ fallen for ur best friend ] Ah yeah. Not a good thing to do.
[ been rejected ] -.- More times than I can count, thanks for the reminder.
[ rejected someone ] Yeah. It's not easy, so I guess that's both sides of the story for you.
[ used someone ] It FEELS like I have, but I don't think I ever actually HAVE, and just walked away from it. I have guilt issues.
[ been cheated on ] Hmm, I've always had the suspicion, but no. Leastwise, I don't THINK so. I'm better off not knowing, IMHO.
[ done something u regret ] Well, I try not to regret stuff. I do think of things I could have done differently, but that doesn't mean I regret what has brought me to where I am. I wouldn't be "me" if I hadn't done stuff-- good, bad, or otherwise. We're all human, we make mistakes...
-DO YOU/ARE YOU-
[ color ur hair ] Yeah, and in about a week I'll see if I can scrounge up $70 for my bleaching. =}
[ habla espanol ] ^^; No... demo, Nihongo o hanashimasu!
[ how many people are on ur buddy list? ] 167. Used to be 200, but I deleted the people I never speak to anymore.
[ drink alcohol? ] Depends on the situation. Only socially.
[ like watching sunrises or sunset ] Sunset is always nice to watch, especially if you're in a nice place and you're with good friends. Sounds like something cool to do... a bonfire, barbeque, and a sunset-watching over at the beach. Maybe when Mike comes back? Anyone else like this idea?
[ what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain? ] Emotional pain. Physical pain may hurt a LOT and everything, but 90% of the time, it heals. Emotional pain can scar for life, and result in even more damage.
-N U M B E R-
[ of times I have had my heart broken? ] Ooh, probably... 3 times? Don't make me name names though.
[ of hearts I have broken? ] Maybe one or two, but even THAT'S a mite egotistical.
[ I WANT: ] To stop feeling sick, to just be able to get up and do the things I spend so much time *thinking* about.
[ I HAVE: ] Too much stuff.
[ I WISH: ] For more wishes.
[ I MISS: ] My sister-- talk about irony, Nikki...
[ I DANCE: ] Sexy, but not half as good as so many of my other friends.
[ I SING: ] In choir. But right now, I sound froggish.
[ I HEAR: ] Voices in my head... =D
[ I WRITE: ] In my journal, much too much.
[ I AM HAPPY: ] When I'm happy, healthy, and surrounded by friends that aren't ignoring me.
[ I SHOULD HAVE: ] x_X Don't ask me that, I'll turn into a tomato!
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*sigh* Kinda sad. But truthful? Quite possibly [not?!].
LJ Barcode |
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
ehhh
Date: 2003-06-03 12:12 pm (UTC)oh shit! I just missed that!
Date: 2003-06-03 12:20 pm (UTC)damn, i'm gonna miss em' too... but if anything, the churro's there are fuckin great, seriously... i tried one there and i can't eat any of them back here in america.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 12:53 am (UTC)I'll see you on Friday at RTA if you do go, i'll bring your fire converse! *_* hehe
-Amber
Re:
Date: 2003-06-04 02:06 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-04 11:03 pm (UTC)