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azuriteThe more I think about it, the less I like it.
I'm here in the Sundial office, and aside from Heather, the managing editor who JUST walked in a few minutes ago, I am alone. Okay, so people are starting to trickle in, but the fact that I was the first one here (especially considering I was the last one to leave last night-- at 10:30!) really irritates me.
It's not just the fact that these people expect me to be here at 8am when I don't have class till 11, or that they want me to stay until 10:30 or 11 on all nights, just because they have a 9:30pm news deadline. It's that they don't care how close or far I live, whether or not I have an eye infection, a health appointment, or a terminal disease. In regards to some of the people, I wonder if they even know my name!
I'm becoming a pain in the neck for Grandpa, asking him to drive me to school so early in the morning. I'm supposed to be here in Northridge to HELP him and Baba, not be a hindrance! I considered walking to school then, on days when Scott doesn't have a reason to go to school early. But then, why the heck should I get up from my nice warm bed when I PURPOSEFULLY scheduled my classes to start at 11am on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
I'm also in the anime club, and a member of the Matathon, yet both of those organizations that I love have been shafted because I'm "working at the Sundial!" So I ask myself, what am I getting out of this experience? Journalistic know-how? No. I'm not at all involved in the process of writing, creating, or distributing the paper. You know what I do? I go into QuarkXPress, copy and save the article text, write down the bylines, images used, and titles, and then proceed to edit the saved HTML copies. I add links, jazz up the existing crapola excuse for a webpage, and do it-- every goddamn morning. Because the servers are hosted on-site, I can't do this at home for some stupid reason. if I could, I'd probably be okay with it, because I would be working on a computer with the same tools, but one I'm more comfortable with, in a familiar environment.
To top it off, I could take a break when I please without feeling guilty! But no, I don't have QuarkXPress, and therefore no way to get article text. And it *is* a newspaper, so of course it must be updated daily. But somehow I don't think there's some pale, skinny nerd sitting in the offices of the New York Times at all hours of the morning.
Truthfully, when I first came here, I was in awe. Here was a financially independent paper that was my sole source of news, student life, and campus events for the first half of my freshman year. It offered frighteningly accurate horoscopes, funny comics, and true-to-life stories from both students and people around the world. But inside the office, it's all about fake smiles, grueling hours, stupid computers, and artificial understanding.
No one seems to get what this work entails-- I'm one person, and I have not only my boyfriend and my family to worry about (and they ARE my #1 concerns, all the time, every day), but my classes! This semester they ARE harder, and require more dedication and effort, and I'm not going to slack off on them because of some "newspaper job!" I'm not even a newspaper major! I'm a magazine major, dammit! Webwork is just a hobby, and Photoshop is just a skill! But I don't feel appreciated, nor do I feel my input is important.
Admittedly, I admire so many of the people here for the time and dedication they put into this. But I don't see them here nearly as much as I feel I'm here. I'm here whenever I don't have classes, and that's ridiculous! I don't like being compared to some graduate student cum Martha Stewart, who probably had her own bed and breakfast here, given to the fact that she came at 6:30am every day! -_-
Right now, I want to be in my nice, warm bed, thinking about YAY: my homework is done, the computer is working, and my family and I are happy. I am healthy, I am well, and that's enough for me. But no, I had to get up at 7am, get dressed, bother my grandfather, and come here. To no one, no benefits, no praise, no ANYTHING.
It's only been a week, and I'm not sure if this is just stress, sensibility, or exasperation. But I'm calling it quits. I have to. I thought I could last the month, but... maybe not. I suppose I should tell Sal and Jodie todsy.
It was fun while it lasted. (Sort of.)
I'm here in the Sundial office, and aside from Heather, the managing editor who JUST walked in a few minutes ago, I am alone. Okay, so people are starting to trickle in, but the fact that I was the first one here (especially considering I was the last one to leave last night-- at 10:30!) really irritates me.
It's not just the fact that these people expect me to be here at 8am when I don't have class till 11, or that they want me to stay until 10:30 or 11 on all nights, just because they have a 9:30pm news deadline. It's that they don't care how close or far I live, whether or not I have an eye infection, a health appointment, or a terminal disease. In regards to some of the people, I wonder if they even know my name!
I'm becoming a pain in the neck for Grandpa, asking him to drive me to school so early in the morning. I'm supposed to be here in Northridge to HELP him and Baba, not be a hindrance! I considered walking to school then, on days when Scott doesn't have a reason to go to school early. But then, why the heck should I get up from my nice warm bed when I PURPOSEFULLY scheduled my classes to start at 11am on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
I'm also in the anime club, and a member of the Matathon, yet both of those organizations that I love have been shafted because I'm "working at the Sundial!" So I ask myself, what am I getting out of this experience? Journalistic know-how? No. I'm not at all involved in the process of writing, creating, or distributing the paper. You know what I do? I go into QuarkXPress, copy and save the article text, write down the bylines, images used, and titles, and then proceed to edit the saved HTML copies. I add links, jazz up the existing crapola excuse for a webpage, and do it-- every goddamn morning. Because the servers are hosted on-site, I can't do this at home for some stupid reason. if I could, I'd probably be okay with it, because I would be working on a computer with the same tools, but one I'm more comfortable with, in a familiar environment.
To top it off, I could take a break when I please without feeling guilty! But no, I don't have QuarkXPress, and therefore no way to get article text. And it *is* a newspaper, so of course it must be updated daily. But somehow I don't think there's some pale, skinny nerd sitting in the offices of the New York Times at all hours of the morning.
Truthfully, when I first came here, I was in awe. Here was a financially independent paper that was my sole source of news, student life, and campus events for the first half of my freshman year. It offered frighteningly accurate horoscopes, funny comics, and true-to-life stories from both students and people around the world. But inside the office, it's all about fake smiles, grueling hours, stupid computers, and artificial understanding.
No one seems to get what this work entails-- I'm one person, and I have not only my boyfriend and my family to worry about (and they ARE my #1 concerns, all the time, every day), but my classes! This semester they ARE harder, and require more dedication and effort, and I'm not going to slack off on them because of some "newspaper job!" I'm not even a newspaper major! I'm a magazine major, dammit! Webwork is just a hobby, and Photoshop is just a skill! But I don't feel appreciated, nor do I feel my input is important.
Admittedly, I admire so many of the people here for the time and dedication they put into this. But I don't see them here nearly as much as I feel I'm here. I'm here whenever I don't have classes, and that's ridiculous! I don't like being compared to some graduate student cum Martha Stewart, who probably had her own bed and breakfast here, given to the fact that she came at 6:30am every day! -_-
Right now, I want to be in my nice, warm bed, thinking about YAY: my homework is done, the computer is working, and my family and I are happy. I am healthy, I am well, and that's enough for me. But no, I had to get up at 7am, get dressed, bother my grandfather, and come here. To no one, no benefits, no praise, no ANYTHING.
It's only been a week, and I'm not sure if this is just stress, sensibility, or exasperation. But I'm calling it quits. I have to. I thought I could last the month, but... maybe not. I suppose I should tell Sal and Jodie todsy.
It was fun while it lasted. (Sort of.)
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no subject
Date: 2005-02-09 05:35 pm (UTC)MEH!
Date: 2005-02-09 07:17 pm (UTC)As for payment, I'm supposed to get some "pro-rated monthly stipend" mailed to me.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-09 11:52 pm (UTC)Heh
Date: 2005-02-18 06:13 am (UTC)I had an eye infection in my left eye (it's gone now) that made me very sleepy and hypersensitive to light. Even now that it's gone, I still bug people to give me rides-- I don't have a license! I'm working on that, though...
Finally, I quit my position as the online editor of the Sundial, and I feel it was the right decision. Sometimes quitting is a good thing-- like quitting smoking.
Re: Heh
Date: 2005-02-18 06:20 am (UTC)Re: Heh
Date: 2005-02-18 07:23 am (UTC)Re: Heh
Date: 2005-02-18 07:32 am (UTC)Yay for fed-up journalists!
Date: 2005-02-10 03:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-10 06:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-10 07:41 am (UTC)And yes, it's stress...and it's just life...it would be one thing if you had already graduated and were working at a newspaper all the time...but here you have your classes to think about. You did the right thing.
It's weird, but I think that this year will be good for you (as well as me and probably eva...since we're aries...lol). Sometimes realizing that we can't do it all really takes the stress off of your shoulders...I, for example, dropped my math class and now only have 4 classes...and I'm hella happy!
So congrats, and feel better with your eye...hope it wasn't anything serious. Goodnight.