Losing my grip

[azurite]

Back in the Collabatory (no, it's not the Compulabratory), and I'm once again on a timer... 4:30 I go back to the health clinic to get my lab results. Yes, I went today... I guess I felt a bit better with Scott there, even though it's useless for him to be there, really. I mean, it's my body, my appointment-- you'd think he wouldn't even WANT to care, so it's pretty trippy for me for him to... well, care.

I was surprised he even met me outside of CAD class. See, I have this theory that once I imagine something happen, there's probably slim to no chance that it will. I have a very vivid imagination and very bad luck, you see, so the two combine to make me a very hopeless sort of individual. Perfect for writing fanfiction, actually. I mean, he was so busy yesterday we didn't meet, and he never called back, so I was kind of bummed/angry. And then I saw him sitting there, but I already had my headphones and backpack on... I wanted to just walk out of there and pretend I'd never seen him.

I don't even know why.

I waited outside though, wondering if he saw ME leave. It was awkward-- we walked to the Oviatt and had lunch out on the side bench. It's not as private a place as I would have liked, especially considering our sole topic of conversation. I told him the truth-- come this Friday, it'll have been 7 weeks since my last period, and YES, I am freaked out.

I don't feel stressed, but I asked him if I looked stressed, and he said I did. I'm surprised, but I guess I have every right to be on edge. Until 4:30, anyway. My chest kind of hurts, and my wrists are sore (stupid backpack straps), but... I think I'm gonna be okay. I really have to believe in that, above all else. This is supposed to be an exciting, fun month, and if my horoscope (which has been scarily accurate, given that it's a school paper) has anything to say about it, I shouldn't lose my temper. I just have to KEEP my grip, and relax. However possible.

I turned in Page 2 of my outline, I'm here to work on my Media Notebook, revise my Geography notes, and whatever else I can get done (Japanese research). Tomorrow I should get the 3-fold presentation board and some black ink... this week will be over soon enough. Anime club and a party at Scott's come Friday. And who knows, maybe I'll get to meet his fraternal twin brother Ryan?

I should look forward to Halloween and my wicked cool costume idea. I should try and calm myself with a scented bath or something. I need incense.

Anyway, I better get to work before my wrist cramps up on me.

...wish me luck?

Comments

don't worry mero

[cutieme4u.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel, this has been a bad past few weeks for me too. But don't worry: if it helps I once went 3 months without mine and I'm still doing fine here. So maybe it's just the moon being weird on you or something.

Re: don't worry mero

[azurite]

Hopefully that's it. Of course, I had every reason before to suspect it was something other than the moon being weird on me. ^^; But now that I know for sure that's NOT it, maybe it *is* the moon. Who knows?

[schmollieollie.livejournal.com]

exactly what eva said...ive gone for awhile without mine ( 3 or 4 months) and it turned out ok... let us know how it goes ok ( well only if you want to)

WE LOVE YOU >...haha :)