My Mom is Weird

She's notorious for sending me silly chain letters, but ah well. Some are actually thought-provoking, sad, or funny. Here goes one I just got from her, and it's kinda funny. But men-- beware. ^.~ Don't say I didn't warn you... and once again, I DID NOT WRITE THIS! ^_^

( good x-rated jokes )

A little something I've heard from more than one person recently-- why can't I get what I want? It's such a simple question, dumbed down so much, but here's how it all breaks down, regardless of who you get the advice from:
TAKE THE INITIATIVE.

You know, I'm barely into my life (or so I say) but I've already made some terrible mistakes. I hate looking back and dwelling on them, but that doesn't mean I don't remember or feel the impact of the lessons I learned from them. If I don't like something, I learn to say so in the future, and not get myself involved in those situations. I've tried to be less judgmental, less "loner," and more outgoing. Sometimes my bluntness is perceived as a bad thing, and so, like all human beings, I'm learning constantly in an effort to change-- but not WHO I am, just how I act in given situations.

When I want something, most of the time, I'll go for it. Some people think it's strange that, if one of my friends thinks someone is hot, and I go up and ask the guy for his name/number. I do that because when my friend is too shy or embarassed to do it herself, she needs someone to be the exact opposite for her. Regret is a very nasty thing to have on your shoulder all your time. There are so many chances in life that you only get once. Others, you get over and over again, and you might keep fucking up until you see the light and go and grasp your dream. Maybe you'll see it's not what you really wanted after all, and you'll have to put it aside, keep learning, keep going until you find your true dream. Or maybe it will be what you wanted after all, and you'll have that incredible sense of happiness and contentment that comes by so rarely.

I see too many people that just sit there and let life carry them. When you sit there like a potato, bad things will happen. You have to learn to take control --take the bull by its horns, as it were. Taking the initiative, while scary, often proves to reap more reward than risk. I'm sure the one person I'm REALLY directing this towards knows what I mean-- if I haven't said it enough in person, here it is in print (or online, same difference). Plenty of people think along the same lines, too-- I've seen their words, I agree wholeheartedly.

Life is bad. But if it wasn't bad, then when the good times rolled around (and they always do, even when stuff just REALLY REALLY sucks) we wouldn't know happiness if it slapped us in the face with a wad of bills. You get what I'm saying? Being surprising, doing something out of the ordinary, or mustering your courage and just DOING IT might end up surprising you. It's surprised me. It's surprised every human on this planet at least once, and will continue to do so, because we can't predict fate, or how other people will act or react.

The thing is, you can't EXPECT anything out of life. It gives, it takes, it twists, it turns. Someone great once said "Expect the unexpected." The very statement is a paradox, but it holds more truth than anyone could ever know. Don't ever believe in just what you see. Don't always think the same way, act the same way, be the same person. This can be as simple as trying a new meal at your favorite restaurant-- or maybe sucking in your breath and walking up to that Someone and telling them what you think of them.

Scary things happen because of what we think. Humans, by nature, have pretty vivid imaginations. But "What ifs" can get pretty annoying sometimes. When we become too dependant on fortune-telling, we stop living. So stop being predictable and LIVE. It's what you're here for, isn't it?

A bad start to an otherwise good day

EDIT(1:35p) Goddess around me, I'm not trying to be racist. When I originally wrote this, I was venting, but I wasn't hysterically mad or anything, just upset. I am NOT racist, a white supremacist, or a hater of any kind. What I've written is, if anything, an observation of many of the students at my school. It's not as if ALL of them follow some sort of trend or are automatically set into this stereotyped box of how to act and what to say. But the reasons why generalizations and judgements came around in the first place is because one person mimicked another, mimicked another... until people started acting in very predictable, if not stereotypical ways. Please keep that in mind as you read this. Thanks.

( scared out of my mind )

YAY, only two more classes to go! I slept for most of 1st period (as a result, my right arm is killing me, even now, hours later) and began to wonder about the STAR test schedule in a few weeks... and whether Ishibashi will do something stupid and force the seniors to come in for graduation rehearsal. If I graduate that is, but hey, I have to look on the bright side! The only thing holding me back now is that damned swim test... I'll ask Eva about in in 5th period. I read more of the CIGtWaW. Very informative, and just maybe after I get back from LA I'll make an active effort to find a coven here in SF. 2nd period Gilmore (she's still being nice to me, it's scary) decided to surprise us with a pop quiz... or maybe it was just a quiz we all forgot about. Teachers are evil when they have tests on a Monday morning. With no study time. There were 30 questions, and I didn't answer 10. *sigh* I missed 2 of the 5 "Techniques Advertisers Use," missed the "Technique and Proof" that showed what the advertiser used for a Downy Premium ad... and I missed about 4 or 5 ways that firms promote a product WITHOUT advertising (there are 12 total). GAH. But hopefully I still passed it... >_> And I'm eager to find out how Kripa, Slava's and my group did on the project, because maybe that will boost my grade some.

3rd period I spent trying to understand feasible regions and constraints-- finding all my papers yesterday while sorting through my room (officially a COMPLETE mess now, no one but me is allowed entrance unless you plan on helping me clean...) didn't help. I barely figured out the point of maximum profit, so I was zonked out for most of the period while Mrs. K was working on another assignment. If I have the drive, I can catch up... even though not turning in the portfolio will injure me, so I should get on that tomorrow. Choir practices officially start up again tomorrow, now that auditions are over (thank god I'm a senior, auditions are terrifying). Whee, constant singing. I just don't want to stand near Brenda (the girl I thought was Crystal... just goes to show how well I know my classmates).

EDIT (1:37p) 5th period went pretty well-- Thompson is still weird as usual, and I'm not exactly looking foreward to memorizing an entire sonnet from Shakespeare. Shakespeare's cool and all, but I'm not the hugest fan of him-- if I have to read Romeo and Juliet or Macbeth, so be it, but my thesis paper won't be on the guy. The world has enough people criticizing or praising him. That one "paragraph" paper on the use of irony for a particular character from Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales -- the one I ended up writing a near-essay for -- got an A, so I'm happy. We still haven't turned in the questions for the two sonnets we read "The Passionate Shepherd to His Love" and "The Nymph's Reply to the Shepherd," even though, out of sheer boredom (or maybe paranoia over getting a bad grade in such a damned easy class) I sat here in 6th period one day and TYPED the damn thing up. Plus there's the Sonnet 18 and 130 (and we just got new questions in the twice-the-size-of-a-phone-book green Lit book) questions that I'd forgotten about... but luckily finished before class was over... ^^; We had to write modern sonnets to either convince someone to come with you (a'la the Shepherd) or to tell someone off (a'la the Nymph). I'd totally spaced about it and threw something together Nymph-style in a matter of minutes; Thompson actually DID collect those, and she said it was really good-- thought it was Eva's at first (I guess Eva didn't turn one in; she was the one that said it was mine) and was grinning hugely. I told her immediately that I didn't want her to read it; I was major embarassed. Weird thing was, people that normally don't like me wanted it read. >_> Maybe they're just looking for a chance to humiliate me. Who knows? Maybe some of them actually think I have talent? That'd be nice, to be recognized by my own PEERS for once, instead of just adults.

I was berating my lack of poetry/sonnet-writing skills while Thompson waxed eloquent about what I'd turned in (now that I think about it, I think I forgot to title the piece. I just said "Modern Sonnet" at the top of the paper), and Eva turns around and suggests that we write a play for Sung to perform. I'm boggled by this-- I suck at writing plays, and I've tried writing script-format fanfiction before-- it just doesn't work. It doesn't FLOW as well as prose, as I've noticed. I accidentally bought a screenwriter's handbook once, and I was bored to tears. But the endless supply of how-to or help manuals for prose, on the other hand, are always enjoyable. Speaking of which, there are a few I should add to my wish list. In any case, Eva says SHE'LL write the play, and I should write the songs! (She heard me say that I can only write songs, that since I haven't written poetry since 5th grade, but I've written songs, I must be good! That and I'm in choir... >_>) But I can't write sheet music to save my life... maybe on a computer, if I could figure out how to hook my keyboard up to it... and even then, I have to learn to play a piano. *shakes head* I think Sung can perform excellent stuff on his own, not to mention he'd want to know if someone spent a lot of time and effort writing a play for him.

Speaking of my songs and such, I'm almost done working on Every Heart, the truly personal section of my site. Hopefully, when I get it up, it'll have most, if not all, of the songs I've written and have hard copies of, not to mention artwork, articles, essays, and other non-fandom works of mine. Resume, maybe? Har Har. >) I tried the singular About page once, and that was a hugely cluttered flop. I need to get Surveyholics up too. And work on PSV... and get a title for a Full Moon site. And try out for that radio play. And get working on so many fanfics... not to mention a new layout for the SMRFF before WAFF vs. TAFF day, if not the road trip. I finally got the WAFF/TAFF page up over on SMRFF, and there's TONS of banners. It's such a simple layout, and cute, so I'm proud... but the excess of links is a problem. We definitely need better organization between the main site and the archive.

The Amazoness Quartet closed earlier this year, which makes me sad. I hadn't been there in a while, and even the Help Desk seem a little dead. It was quite easily one of my favoroite sites when I was starting out on the 'Net, and I stopped going there once I got into other fandoms. I wonder if there will be any other WPRs worth going to nowadays... or maybe everyone has just gotten out of Sailormoon? Gawd, I hope that changes... I can't wait till Stars comes out. ADV Films is releasing the subtitled, uncut (and the episodes that were completely cut from American TV! WAHOO!) episodes of Sailor Moon Seasons 1 and 2, which I *really* want to get my hands on, given that all I've seen of those (aside from the raw tape of Season 2, Part 1, Video 1 that I got from Yoko-san about 5 Christmases ago) is the dub. =D So there's another thing to add to my anime wish-list. I just hope I have a crapload of cash for Fanime, because I will dedicate a good five hours JUST to the dealer's room.

Oh, and listening to Tatu's "All the things she said" repeatedly in so many different mixes, and in both English and Russian, has inspired me for yet another AMV idea. But I need to get my hands on Sailor Moon Stars! I have some subtitled episodes of Super, and the raw VHS (but no VGA converter, so that idea's out) but that's about it. I want to get the subtitled version still being put out by VKLL and other subtitlers, as it will take forever for ADV to do it, with everything else on their shoulders. Plus there's still a lot of controversy about Stars, despite it, like the other seasons, being released direct to video and DVD. They *were* on Cartoon Network, but once SuperS ended, they added different animes. Who's to say that people would really care if they released Stars just on VHS and DVD, and never aired it on Cartoon Network? I'd personally like it better so there wasn't a) as much of a hype or b) as much of a wait. They always have to do editing and stuff for TV, and what with Stars' "controversial content" of guys changing into girls (it was a completely Toei idea, too, they didn't change genders in the manga!).

Finally, I convinced Koski to give me the CDs for Office Professional 2000! Wahoo, now I'll have all these kick-ass expensive programs on my compie at home! =D Including Publisher, so maybe I'll be able to work on the damn paper at home! YATTA YATTA!

I think I'll ditch on the optional Media Academy meeting today. I want to just go home, clean up some, get my laundry done (SHOCK!), take a shower, and have fun (sounds so naughty! bad mer! =D). Besides, it'd be nice to see what Benish and Jasmin can do without me to turn over or hawk over their shoulders. *yawn* I'm outtie.