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The Parent Trap
Feb. 14th, 2001 09:26 pmMany people on this planet have divorced, single parents. I'm "lucky" enough to be one of them. Okay, that was a lame joke, but some people think it's better to have parents that are separated and fight all the time rather than parents that are together and fight all the time. Maybe it's just personal opinion talking here, but at least when a couple is married, they can still go to counseling or what not. But my parents have been divorced since I was less than 2 feet high, and I never had any problem with the "best of both worlds" deal-- until now.
The deal is, my dad apparently hasn't been paying child support or whatever. My mom's single, working full-time, on a pretty mediocre salary in a pretty pricey city. My dad is 50-some-odd miles up north, in a smaller town, living in a studio he's not supposed to be living at in the first place. So recently, because of all the prices going up (electricity, rent, etc.) my mom's been haggling the bureau to get my dad to fork over some cash. She gets the papers she has been wanting for weeks, the ones from the bureau about my dad's "payments" over the years. She runs in to the room I'm in, distraught, because she says my dad claimed to have paid for my elder sister's funeral back in 1996. I know for a fact that he didn't-- he actually drove the cost of the funeral up more with the flowers and expensive urn he bought. So I was rather upset at him, and since he never bothers to call, I conveyed my feelings through an email.
Parents have this ability to upset their kids in such a way that it scars them for life. My dad managed to "yell" at me so much via the email-- despite the fact that I had good grades, and other than a few problems with a laptop he had given me a while back (*for work, but that's another messed story), life was okay. I never wrote back. That was two days ago. I haven't seen him in 2 1/2 months. He supposedly gave my dog away to some ranch in Oregon, because a) my dog was old and my dad couldn't take care of him b) he was expensive to take care of, and my dad didn't even have a house. Keeping him in the kennel was costing him a price close to a month's rent. But lately, I can't believe him. I wonder if my dog got put to sleep. I never got to say goodbye, and I can never forgive him for that.
But I'm caught in this trap, with my mom upset and having a hard time pulling through every damn month, life not being "peachy" here. My dad yells at me, lies, and is broke, but I still miss him. People want to know about my dad, about my family, and I don't know what to say. That my life is one big tragedy after another? That I have hardly any family left? My mom used to threaten me with "Why don't you go live with your dad?" but I never retorted back. Both of us knew I could never leave my home for the past 15 years, my friends, my whole life. It's like playing Jenga and taking out all of the bottom blocks-- you watch the whole thing just all... fall... down. I'm still caught in this trap, in this game. I know I'm not alone out here. But it sure feels like it.
The deal is, my dad apparently hasn't been paying child support or whatever. My mom's single, working full-time, on a pretty mediocre salary in a pretty pricey city. My dad is 50-some-odd miles up north, in a smaller town, living in a studio he's not supposed to be living at in the first place. So recently, because of all the prices going up (electricity, rent, etc.) my mom's been haggling the bureau to get my dad to fork over some cash. She gets the papers she has been wanting for weeks, the ones from the bureau about my dad's "payments" over the years. She runs in to the room I'm in, distraught, because she says my dad claimed to have paid for my elder sister's funeral back in 1996. I know for a fact that he didn't-- he actually drove the cost of the funeral up more with the flowers and expensive urn he bought. So I was rather upset at him, and since he never bothers to call, I conveyed my feelings through an email.
Parents have this ability to upset their kids in such a way that it scars them for life. My dad managed to "yell" at me so much via the email-- despite the fact that I had good grades, and other than a few problems with a laptop he had given me a while back (*for work, but that's another messed story), life was okay. I never wrote back. That was two days ago. I haven't seen him in 2 1/2 months. He supposedly gave my dog away to some ranch in Oregon, because a) my dog was old and my dad couldn't take care of him b) he was expensive to take care of, and my dad didn't even have a house. Keeping him in the kennel was costing him a price close to a month's rent. But lately, I can't believe him. I wonder if my dog got put to sleep. I never got to say goodbye, and I can never forgive him for that.
But I'm caught in this trap, with my mom upset and having a hard time pulling through every damn month, life not being "peachy" here. My dad yells at me, lies, and is broke, but I still miss him. People want to know about my dad, about my family, and I don't know what to say. That my life is one big tragedy after another? That I have hardly any family left? My mom used to threaten me with "Why don't you go live with your dad?" but I never retorted back. Both of us knew I could never leave my home for the past 15 years, my friends, my whole life. It's like playing Jenga and taking out all of the bottom blocks-- you watch the whole thing just all... fall... down. I'm still caught in this trap, in this game. I know I'm not alone out here. But it sure feels like it.
