~Risk~

Feb. 6th, 2007 11:56 pm
azurite: (gundam senshi!)
My Valentinr - azurite
Get your own valentinr

I really detest Valentine's Day. It's all commercialism and chocolate, and heck knows there's no one able or deserving enough to receive any handmade chocolate from me this year (the Japanese tradition for girls to give them to the boys they like, or men that they feel "obligated" to give chocolate to, FYI). But if some people think of me --through email, one of these little memes, or something else, it's nice. I'm not very big on spending time making Valentines like I used to as a kid, since it ends up being so heartbreaking to go through all that effort and not have anything in return... plus I don't want to send any mixed messages (as I'm apt to doing now that I'm older and supposedly wiser). So if anybody, y parents and grandparents might get a Valentine, with a digi-one out to my friends (if you want one).

I'm sure someday I might like it, but it, like Mother's Day, seems like an excuse for doing something that the people you care about most should be doing ALL YEAR LONG (and by that, I don't mean showering you with presents or chocolate, I mean being grateful for having you in their lives, and showing their appreciation without a holiday as a reason).

That said, today generally kicked butt. It was nice not having to wake up super-early for work (which I won't HAVE to do for the rest of the semester, if my schedule stays the same), and I did well in most of my classes today. I even stayed after for a while after JOUR 331 and talked to the Prof. about careers and such, and it was a great conversation. So maybe Scott's not so crazy with focusing on his career the way he is-- I might still be in college, but I do have to start considering my options, regardless of when I end up graduating. And to do what I supposedly "love" then I have to be willing to take risks and push myself in ways that I've always "justified" not doing before.

And the thought of going out there and JUST DOING IT really makes me happy. I managed to clean up the rec room a bit, get rid of my entire stack of old magazines, clean up a bit of my room (many books to get rid of, and hopefully soon, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, Valuable Books -after I scan the artwork- and maybe my Hot Gimmick manga, which I no longer like), and do a load of laundry in about an hour or so. I still have more laundry to do and my room to clean (MUST FIND PS2 MEMORY CARD!!!), and plenty of other errands (post office for mailing presents to Mom and Dad; need Dad's new address; must lecture Dad about bitching and/or suing landlords that cheat you of money due; must also get a ¥6000 international money order for sending to the International Center for my Yahoo! BB bill which I forgot about- yipes!).

Busy, busy, busy... but now I have to try and sleep and read Ch. 3 of my Editing book.
azurite: (kaiba encounters fanfiction)
Okay, so I'm downstairs at the ITR walkin right now, putting up with the unfortunately attractive annoyance that is... er, my co-worker. But I'm in a fantastic mood, because:
* I turned in my Presidential Scholarship packet with everything, most of which was done at the last minute
* I gave Dr. Lopez's secretary my Freeman-ASIA form, so she can endorse it by Friday
* I finished my Japanese homework on time
* I ate a decent lunch AND I still have cookies leftover
* My group performed our Japanese skit first, and though I got corrected on two lines, I think we did well-- and better than other groups (though they were funnier-- we had a Spiderman and a Doc Ock, and a NEKO MAN!)
* My interview was much easier than I thought. It was in a small, comfortable room in the involvement center, and I was talking to Prof. Hirota, Dr. Lopez, and one other woman from the CSUN faculty-- that was it. No chancellor, no board of stodgy old men...
* I might be applicable for a $10,000 scholarship from the Japanese government if I get into the SA/Waseda program!
* I took my passport-sized pictures for my Tokiwa application; I'll estimate the dates tonight and get that printed out and turned in tomorrow.

My new shiny, dry-clean only blouse/jacket got completely pwned by a sweat stain as I tromped all over campus (to all the department offices for English, Japanese, and Journalism) and to the post office (to mail my transcript my Priority mail) and then back to the building where my Japanese class was. But it's faded now, and I'll be sure to get it dry cleaned asap. In any case, I'm glad I got this nice new outfit from thar boutique, Cubby, yesterday. I even got a pair of brown corduoy's... o_o If I get an orange plaid shirt, I can be the female clone of Scott! (creeeeppyyy...)

But since I got everything done and I'm in a good mood, feeling accomplished and happy, I bought a pizza. At least this means I'm responsible for my own dinner, even if What's His Face doesn't appreciate it. No one has even noticed my haircut! No one asked why I'm happy! Aw, who cares!? If I can keep this mood up through tomorrow (and score some free chocolate and/or flowers while I'm at it), all the better! I don't need to be some Absolute Boyfriend villainness, trying to steal other girls' boyfriends!

Scott's coming on Thursday night! I'll have PLENTY TO DO! *lecherous grin* Things are looking up! I think I might even write more of WDKY later tonight if I'm in the mood, and if I get an email confirming my payment for my new premodded PS2, things will be EVEN BETTER! :D

Snip-Snip.

Feb. 11th, 2006 07:10 pm
azurite: (kaiba smirk)
Happy Birthday SvelteRose!


^_^ Party hard.

Snip-snip! )

Oh, and here's a quick reminder of all the communities I own/help mod:
[livejournal.com profile] 30kisses - Everyone knows I created this as an alternative to [livejournal.com profile] 30_kisses. We have several alternative lists, rules that are different, and several kick-ass mods. I update this one the most frequently.
[livejournal.com profile] betasquad - The request-to-join community for anime, manga, and video game fanfic writers. I post all my un-beta'd WDKY chapters here, and I'd love it if more people signed up to join the comm. and the forum so I could have a regular supply of interested editors!
[livejournal.com profile] delishidoodle - My icon journal-gone-community. I've just recently updated with a few icons, and hopefully more coming soon.
[livejournal.com profile] smrff - The SailorMoon Romantic FanFiction Mailing List's official LJ community. If Aria's Ink can update regularly with fics, why can't we? I say we get WAFF vs. TAFF Day started early this year!
[livejournal.com profile] titans_go - Co-modded with [livejournal.com profile] baine. But we just haven't started it yet. Why can't I find a decent Teen Titans font!?
[livejournal.com profile] weekly_ygo - I'm just the editor. :} But I'm also in the news, every now and then... I hope that post I made about Joey the Passion free online duels makes it into this week's edition.
[livejournal.com profile] ygo_extend - I never got around to starting this comm anywhere, but it's meant to be a repository for those great oneshots that should be continued- if not by the original author, then fans with evil imaginations. It's also a challenge community for 1sentence and drabble fics to be fleshed out into something longer.
[livejournal.com profile] ygo_goodfic - I co-mod it. Why don't more people bounce their recs our way?
[livejournal.com profile] ygo_icontests - I own it-- it's meant to be sort of like [livejournal.com profile] weekly_ygo, but for icontests. Many of the icontest owners were impossible to get ahold of, though.
[livejournal.com profile] ygo_lyricwheel - I'm going to be restarting the next round soon, if anyone's interested. Any ideas for a theme?
[livejournal.com profile] ygo_mst - Meant to be the place where you can be inspired by and write MSTs of Yu-Gi-Oh fics. MSTs being "Mystery Science Theatre" style, which is pure satire and humor. MSTs aren't allowed on FFnet, but they're great learning/teaching tools and good for several laughs. Someone send badfic "recs" over here! We need fodder!
[livejournal.com profile] ygo_offtopicon - I'm starting up a new challenge this week, and I hope to keep it regular, this time. We never did finish Challenge #9, which is too bad, but I don't want to let this one die. I have a good idea!

I would appreciate any people interested in helping mod/update these communities. Comment if you can lend a hand at least once a week.

Snip again-- with a dictionary!? )

Coming up:
* Finish up my Freeman-ASIA scholarship form. Get the hardcopies sent in to IIE, and give the copies to Dr. Lopez in the Study Abroad office.

* Presidential Scholarship? Professor Hirota DID agree, and though it only needs an unofficial transcript from both CCSF and CSUN (I can print both from the web), it also requires Prof. Hirota's signature. -_-; Her office hours are only on Tuesday and Thursday before class, and the thing is due on MONDAY. Geeeeehhh... There goes a potential $5000 down the hole, all because I didn't prepare enough in advance. I could TRY and find her on Monday, but there's just no guarantee. And I refuse to forge.

* WDKY24 - I write more of it last night, and I only have bits and pieces to go, but this is looking to be another difficult chapter. I'd also like to get beta volunteers NOW, so that I don't have to worry about scrambling to find them once I'm actually finished. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

* WikiFic - The Ultimate Yu-Gi-Oh Encyclopedia is slowly but surely being updated. I managed to get through linking the Shipper's List F-M, but there are still tons of pages that need to be created. I'm also trying to get as many pictures as I can, but I'd like people to tell me which ones would be relevant for the pages in question. What information is necessary? I'm also translating pieces of the Gospel of Truth for WikiFic. More members!

* Get my Tokiwa application finished - I need to estimate some dates, or else ask Mom. Then I need to go to the photo place on campus and get a few photos taken, passport-size.

* Blah blah, websites. - I need a new name for what was formerly Animanga Collision. The site will be another eFiction archive, housing all my fics, rants, essays, etc. from every fandom EXCEPT the Azureshipping Yu-Gi-Oh stuff (which will remain on Dragonfayth, just for the sake of things). But what to call it?

* Can't win, will duel - Okay, so I'm no deck-construction maven or anything, but I still play JTP Online even though I can't seem to win any duels. o_o At least in this, I don't have a level to intimidate me into backing off completely, and for the most part, everyone still seems pretty polite even when I lose miserably. I've seen some great combos, and I want to write them down for future reference. A lot of great duelists post combos and strategies on [livejournal.com profile] yu_gi_oh; they could find a good home on WikiFic or elsewhere (with permission, of course). Few actual Yu-Gi-Oh fics actually make use of duels! I think maybe I should ask for more advice in constructing a deck that works... though from what I've seen a good Exodia deck is pretty damn good. Joey himself pounded me with one (HEY! He shouldn't have Exodia!) even when I had over 10,000 LP!

Er... yeah. I'm done for now. :)
azurite: (isis midol)
Yes, you either love it or you hate it. It's Valentine's Day. Unlike Mother's Day, it wasn't created by Hallmark, and they don't over-publicize it quite as much as chocolate companies or sleazy "Hard Copy" style shows do. There are two distant origins: one is that it falls around the same time as a Pagan fertility festival. Erm, not quite. Imbolc, the name of the festival, falls on February 1st. Not 14th. Oops. Okay, so there's the OTHER one that we all know, right? During some fantastic war, Caesar prevented all his soldiers from marrying, as he thought that would prevent them from fighting well or some other such weirdness. So a priest by the name of Valentine married the couples in secret. However, Caesar found out and killed the man, forever making the man a martyr of love and a Saint in his name.

Okay, so that's what we know. All well and good, but how did card and chocolate-giving get started? Why isn't some ritualistic day to get married? But no, people get married in JUNE, not in February. While I have nothing against people celebrating their love, some people overdo it. I saw on one particular tv show about how to give the perfect gift. How some guys were inept with the whole Valentine's scene, and others were suaver than soap. While 61% of guys may want flowers from their girls (*cough* yeah right!), only 40% get them, and girls always get the same old: balloons, chocolate, candy of any red, fruity sort, roses, teddy bears. It's all about pink, red, cute, and usually either shiny or fuzzy. Or, in the case of older people, big, gold, and expensive-looking.

Maybe I hate it so much because I used to go through so much trouble making (from scratch) V-day cards, personalizing them and all, and then not getting a single one even close to what I had done back, not even from my friends. Of the people whose few scattered Valentines I still have, they scrawled their name on back so messily that I can barely make it out. Nothing personal at all. So, in 5th grade, I pretty much stopped doing the Valentine thing. Last year, I guy who I barely knew gave me some chocolates with a scrap of paper saying he liked my personality. I was flattered beyond belief, but I was drooling after a senior. I was blind to what was in front of me, and could have made a closer friend as opposed to ignoring it. Of course, I thanked him graciously on a cute pink note, and we're in a class together again. Part of me wonders if he still likes me.

But I just refuse to acknowledge that I am alone yet again one year, and V-day just makes me remember that even more painfully. All my friends are paired off, guys who are usually the obnoxious geeks now have girlfriends, and even the not-so-desperate, semi-guy-hating ones are getting Love Pops and teddy bears from one person or another. Perhaps it's that cycle of destruction deal again, with me segregating myself and never giving anyone the chance to love me. Or maybe I am just unloved.
I wore all black yesterday, and I'm proud of it.

January 2016

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