MILES to GO || before I sleep

In a little under three hours my time (that'd be Pacific), it will be 2011. Depending on how you count, a new decade. A lot's happened in the past year, and of course, since 2001. And even though resolutions are easy to make and difficult to keep, I think I'd like to get more in the habit of at least writing them down (online) so I have a place to refer to when I'm floundering. There's always going to be a to-do list, but this list, if anything, is like a Wish List of To-Do in the next year...a self-imposed deadline.

(1) Move out. Whether I end up somewhere else in the Bay Area or the state of California or wherever, I do want to really be "on my own," without relying on some form of family or another to support me. It's not that family drives me crazy or anything (though it CAN), but I'm never going to learn if I don't take this fundamental first step.

(2) Pay off my debts. I don't know if it's possible to do in a year, but I'd like to think so. I already have 2 credit cards, one of which is pretty close to maxed out, despite its low APR and the fact that I rarely use it. The other's a department store AmEx with a ridiculously high APR, and I try not to use it if I can help it, but it, too, has almost reached its limit. I do my best to pay above the minimum every month, and I hope that, little by little, I can pay it off or get to a point when I can just pay the balances in one fell swoop.

(3) Have fun. I guess this is kind of an easy thing to say, and a not-so-easy thing to actually do...or to take for granted, maybe. But I'd like to look back on 2011 next year and think that I had a good time, somehow. Whether that means beating all my video games that I have yet to finish (Star Ocean: The Last Hope, Persona 2: Eternal Punishment, Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories and Kingdom Hearts II, I'm looking at you!), traveling more, or going to shows/concerts/what-have-you...or maybe even all of the above!...then I hope to do it.

(4) Keep learning. Hopefully I'll finish my second Bachelor's degree in Multimedia Design and Development, and actually see THAT take me places, along with my existing degree in Journalism. I don't want to think that learning--no matter where or how it's done--is a waste of time, but this whole DeVry thing and the accompanying mess has had me wonder for a while. I guess we'll see. Besides, no matter what, I can keep learning online, through my job, and through everyday life.

(5) Finish what I start! I can't just say "Finish What Doesn't Kill You and its ilk," because there's more to it than that: there are other multi-chapter fics, sites, programming languages/code (PHP and Joomla would be nice), crafting projects like paintings, sculptures, and scrapbooking...so much stuff that I've started at some point and not had the motivation or inspiration to finish. I really hope (nay, NEED) that changes in the coming year.

A lot's changed over the past year...things I'm really happy about, things I'm okay about (tentative or wary about), things that I wish had turned out differently, but I'd like to think I'm in a pretty good place right now. I'm extremely grateful that I have a roof over my head, food to eat and beverages to drink, a job I really enjoy that pays well and lets me learn and have fun at the same time. I've got awesome best friends, an incredible boyfriend, and a pretty supportive family. I'm healthy, educated, and probably more lucky than I could ever realize.

For me, I think 2010 was a year of ups and downs. I hope 2011 continues the positive trend that the end of 2010 has shown, and that any "blips" in my road are small, short-lived ones that only serve to help me continue growing.

23 days left before I go back to the U.S.
Woke up 5 hours late today, so now I don't know what to do for breakfast
Have 3-5 papers to worry about throughout the next 2 months
Have only ¥700 in my pocket to buy food with; if I do, I can't go anywhere today unless I borrow money from Bonnie...
Who went out on her own because I slept in so late (^^;)
But I had 1 horrid headache, at least 3 weird dreams, and there's only about an hour and a half left of 2006 in Pacific Time!

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S 2007!

...to all my friends, family, and people I know out in the Pacific Standard Time Zone. :)

And now, my New Year's Resolutions. I hope I stick to them.
(1) Finish what I start.
* I want to finish "What Doesn't Kill You" in 2007, and get at least 3 chapters of "Circle of Seven" out, as well. By "finishing" it, I mean uploading everything, including edits, the changelogs, reference logs, fanart, and anything else. Maybe even that Téa KiSS doll I wanted to do.

* I want to finish all my long-term assignments. I'm a notorious procrastinator, but I've usually been pretty good at making a last-minute comeback, and finishing things when the pressure's at its highest. But I don't want to --or rather, can't-- do that for everything, namely extremely important things that don't involve "just a grade" or things like that, like my scholarship paper. I want to stick to my guns and prove that I deserved that scholarship, and write that damn book.

(2) Think before I speak, and when I speak, say what I mean.
It's funny, because while I can say I enjoy a good debate or argument at times, I don't realy enjoy being yelled AT, laughed AT, mocked, made an ass out of, and so on. I don't like confrontations, because they often lead to hurt. I have a very bad habit of remembering all the worst things I've said and done, and how humiliating they are in retrospect, even if things have changed, for better or for worse. Much of the time in my relationships with other people, I expect them to understand what bothers or upsets me, and they don't- so when they do "another thing" to piss me off, they don't understand why I'm blowing up. It's true that I have my own personal squicks and such, but I shouldn't force them on others, nor be condescending/patronizing in explaining them to others. I don't like being seen as a bossy, know-it-all bitch-- but I also don't like it when people are just pushovers and put me ("let" me?) in the position of being in charge/the leader, just because no one else would. I like being a leader, I like speaking, I like taking charge-- just not all the time. I want to learn to be better at being a team player, and the core of that is in how I speak to others.

(3) Take better care of myself.
It's not that I'm an unhealthy person, but I could certainly stand to expand my palette (of food), eat healthier things, try cooking more things, and of course, exercising more. I should also try taking better care of myself appearance-wise: I complain about having zits, but I know when I pop them I'm doing something I shouldn't. I know when I "forget" to wash my face or brush my teeth one night, I'm doing damage to myself. So I want to stop doing that.

(4) Graduate, graduate, graduate.
Okay, so this technically isn't possible until 2008, but I want to make sure I stick to my plans and graduate on time. I still don't know what I want to do after I graduate, and I'm trying not to worry about it too much RIGHT NOW... but I now I should definitely be thinking about it, given that I have only a year and a half left of school, if I stick to my plans. I want to consider all the options, and put myself in a position to be seen, heard, and sought after by... whatever company or organization I deign to work for.

(5) Save, save, save.
If nothing, this time in Japan has taught me how to be responsible with my money. I've had to live with smaller meals that are repetitive (two things about food which I typically DETEST), a lack of my favorite foods -even if they're just rare, special treats- and not being able to buy the things I want at the drop of a hat. Well, I couldn't ever really do the last one when I was in the States either, but here in Japan, there are a LOT more things that I do want (obviously), and when I see them, I have to genuinely consider "Do I need it? Is there something I NEED more, like money for transportation or food?" I need to be more responsible with my money. Even though I've been paying for food and transportation on my own, I still live a pretty posh life, not having to pay rent. This trip to Tokyo opened my eyes to that, because I did the right thing by paying for the hotel and hostel up-front. If I'd tried to pay later, I probably would have been out of money and unable to pay, and in even WORSE trouble than before-- because I would have spent the money that should have been relegated to those important things. I hate the feeling of being pathetic, and nothing makes me feel more pathetic than needing to ask for financial help. I want to EARN my money, not beg for it, or expect it from someone or something. One of the best feelings for me is that of feeling "Yeah! I did this! I accomplished it on my own!" Or even if I finished something with the help and input of others, I want the knowledge of knowing I didn't give up halfway, quit, or get lazy. I can't stand that in others, so I shouldn't tolerate it for myself. Getting paid "only" once a month should be a good thing-- not an excuse for a once-a-month shoppng spree, but an excuse to stretch my money for as long as I can, and save as much as I can for those rare times in a whole YEAR when I want to buy something REALLY nice, instead of something simple that has a very short pleasure effect (i.e. some rare food, some new CD or DVD... you get the idea).

Well, I figure it's better to have a list of five BIG things rather than 20 small things, so I'm going to call it there. I think I should put some socks on and go get some more food at FamilyMart (the toast I bought from the hostel really wasn't enough...) and then come back here to work on my Mass Media paper for Kawashima-sensei's class.

I'm sorry, but "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"...? What kind of title is that? I know JKR said she was juggling between two really GOOD titles, but this title... er, well... it's just not as catchy. Not as interesting. What the heck is a "deathly hallow" anyway?

I actually bothered to check out the JKR site last night (in both my browsers), but all the tricks I kept reading about -you know, stirring the teacup, or picking up these potion ingredients- I couldn't do them. I thought maybe it was my browser, since my Flash is up to date, but even when I had Safari imitate IE 6.0, it didn't work. Maybe the tricks are limited? But if that's so, why keep the same things (the teacup, the pen you can break, the picture of the lightning bolt that Peeves reveals when he blows through) in the room, if you can't do anything with them? That bums me out. I hate IE-only compliant pages, even if that wasn't the case.

Anyway, I *JUST* got back from the Intl. Center, where I spent the last SEVERAL hours making Nengajou, or New Year's Cards. I had to make 7 for my tutors and roommates, plus one for the Umegaoka Elementary school. Writing all that kanji, designing the card drawings, painting everything... it took a while. And earlier today, I ended up choosing between "shower" or "breakfast" (bad idea; I'd rather go to class smelly than starving), so now I'm hungry as hell, having not eaten anything today except some cookies Misato (one of my tutors) made and a small Hershey's cookies and cream thing Christine gave me.

So I'm going to try making a quick lunch, starting a load of laundry (including my current pair of pants...), and then head out to the post office to mail things. Then at Mito Eki, I'm going to buy the Disney Passports for Tokyo Disney and Disney Sea for baine and I... AND THEN when I get back I will pack, and finish planning the rest of the Tokyo time (figuring out how much I need for where, and so on).

Busy, busy, busy...