azurite | Well, okay, fine.

Ugh, this is weird. Everything's weird. I'm seriously nocturnal now, waking up at 8:30 or 9:30 (as in tonight's case) at night, and going to sleep again 12 hours later. I miss calls from Lonnie at various hours of the day, whether I'm sleeping or merely away from my phone. I do sort of want to talk to him, maybe even call back, but then I chicken out.

Okay, and then I was stupid enough to bring up Jonathan while in a chat with Joemi, and of course he asked me who he was; he'd read about him a few times in my LJ. Two things come out of this: 1) I need to keep my big mouth shut, and 2) I need to stick by my own policies. Those two might inadvertantly contradict themselves, since one of my big policies is honesty... but then, it's not lying if you don't mention someone or something, right? I was really trying to save face, and besides, I'm so confused about everything right now anyway... seriously, I honestly don't FEEL like Jonathan's my boyfriend. Maybe I just want to be single again, but then I'm sort of chained down in that invisible, metaphorical sense.

All the same, I can't help but think I've been needlessly vicious again. But wait, recall-- Joemi's the one that kicked ME off his friend's list, and hasn't put ME back on since. He says it's because he doesn't want to read it, there'd be "too much information" and stuff. Why then, does he bother talking or hanging out with me at all!? You know, this journal is my emotional outburst source, it's where I talk about anything and everything, and it would be nice for those people I consider my friends to give me a shout out every now and then, just to let me know they understand, sympathize, or care! Something! Even if they disagreed with me and thought I was being a total bubblehead! I try to do the same, you know! *sigh*

Working on Golden Apple right now... might have bitten off more than I can chew (har har) by taking the entire chapter up to the point where Endymion makes it into the Garden of the Hesperides. BLAAAH. But I'm going to try, I just don't think I have quite the same "style-flair" as Bonnie. =P

Ugh, XENU made me a new report on all the broken links on A.I.org, and it looks like I have a LOT of work to do. Seriously, I need to figure out how to appropriately structure all my sites as they're hosted locally, because I keep ending up with a bunch of file:///C|Documents... jargon in my links from my webpages, because they're saved locally, but I have to link to them remotely... @_@

Got Brooke's wedding invitation today. Just as she said, the stamp was on the wrong side of the envelope. They'll still send it, right? It is legal postage... and if worse comes to worse, I can cheat the system and not put my return address, so they'll HAVE to send it to her, regardless of whether the postage is accepted or not (the infamous "return to sender" rule). Lots of stuff happening soon... there's the going-away party for the PPLs, there's (I know I'm forgetting something else)... uhm... stuff. Yeah.

GAWD, I cannot wait until the first volume of HYD comes out from Viz... unfortunately, all the places that have been doing scanlations all this time have closed down because of it, which makes no sense to me, since Viz hasn't released the later volumes yet. It just pisses me off, but I guess I have to start scrimmaging for $5.50 until I can snag the good volumes (i.e. the steamy Domoyoji/Makino volumes!)

Damn CCSF *still* hasn't got my grades, it seems, which pisses me OFF! I have a September deadline to get my application in, and I have been looking forward to getting this DONE AND OVER WITH for so long, this only serves to infuriate me MORE!

2 entries thus far for Mamo Day, and if I FINISH THIS part of Golden Apple already, then I can work on my other submissions! ;_; Not fair that Stef's rule is for 30 separate AUTHORS, rather than 30 separate stories, because I'd find a way to fill that quotient on my own!

I should play Myst Exile now that I have an idea what to look for... and finish watching damned Initial D already. Burn CDs to clear up space on my comp, wokr on various things... I'm just not feeling too creative right now, I'm kind of blaaah! Which sucks, I never thought I could be bored online. I mean yeesh, 11 hours... maybe I should snuggle up on the couch outside and watch Casablanca and the end of the Maltese Falcon.

Oh yeah! My dad got a teaching job in Alameda! YAY! I'm glad he's feeling better, and he got a job that he wanted and is definitely going to be great at. I really want to see him again soon. Maybe next weekend... Yeah. =} Ugh, I feel like someone poured molasses all over me and then left me inside a plain, white tiled room with the humidity of New York during the summer filtering in through the air. I have to go, I'm getting achey and restless.