A Strangely Karmic Day
Jun. 13th, 2003 11:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteYou know, today's Friday the Thirteenth, and not just ANY Friday the Thirteenth, but one on a Full Moon no less. Yet things weren't all that weird for me (unless they somehow manage to get weird within the next 45 remaining minutes of the day!) but... yesterday was. Karmic, I called it. Here's what I wrote in my ELEMENTAL book yesterday during class:
It's funny how when days seem at their worst -or even just bad- little things remind you to keep your chin up. I struck a random conversation with this girl I met at the 17th Ave/Geary bus stop-- we'd gotten off the same bus stop earlier (when I'd been coming from school with Eming to dispose of several boxes of THE EAGLE newspapers) to go to the exact same place (Walgreen's) and do the same thing (deal with our photos-- me: get mine; her: drop hers off). And I showed her my prom photos and she said, looking at the strawberry blonde I am now, and said I looked better with my blondeish hair, as my complexion and expression suited it more. Good thing or bad thing?
Then, at CCSF, I got asked for directions twice-- Once was by an old guy that looked homeless but just wanted to know where the L stop was, and the other person was an exotically dressed white girl who needed to find "administration." And *I'm* the one that just started going here, dispensing directions!
Lastly, the only other girl as advanced as I am in our JAPA 1A class turned out to be a graduate of the class of '95 from Wash-- the same year as my sister! I wonder if she knew Michelle... (she did look kind of familiar to me, now that I think about it). I guess we'll find out next Tuesday. In any case, so far, so good!
And today-- today wasn't weird at all. People barely reacted to my hair change color, citing it as being "normal" for me. o_O Whatever. When it's blue, people will look. =P The UCSC graduation ceremony was long and boring, but at least the weather was nice. And my shoes (the ones I wore at prom that, without pantyhose, caused all sorts of nicks on my legs) didn't bother me at all. Dad was quite genial, and Kathleen was fun to talk to. When Brooke finally had her name called (it was in RANDOM order! How funky is that!?) ALL the Sweets, Etc. stood up, yelled, whistled, shouted, and, in a purely cheeseball moment, did the Wave. ^_^ Hehe, Brooke was like o_O... that's my family... ^^;;
After the ceremonies, we all went to go eat at Takara-- the way everyone said it, they made it sound like some Mexican or Italian place like Chevy's or somesuch, but it turned out to be this oddly-shaped Japanese place with sushi and all-- mostly white waiters, too. And in comparison to all the Japanese food I've had here in SF, it tasted weird and made me feel kinda sick. =P But ah, you win some you lose some. So goes the Capitola food trend.
On the way home, Dad had to go to the bathroom, so we pulled into Los Gatos to find a place-- hardly anything was open, but we saw all these cute boutiques with nice clothes. If it weren't such a (S)Nob-Hillized town, I'd love to go out there and shop. Speaking of shopping, Kathleen and I are supposed to be going shopping eventually for Brooke's upcoming wedding in EXACTLY 3 Months! Whoo! It'll be outdoors and in Fresno and all that-- I'm fairly sure I'm not a bridesmaid or anything (feh!).
Kathleen also dropped me a note before I left-- she said she'd pick me up on Father's Day (Sunday) and drive me out to Petaluma if I wanted to see Dad! 'Coz he's going to be in LA with his parents on his birthday on the 30th, and with short notice and no possible way to get down there ANYWAY, I can't oblige to that end, which sucks. I'd love to go see Baba and Grandpa, and maybe Jill and Co. too. Mom and I will have to plan a venture this summer, for sure. Hehe, staying at the Bonaventure! That'd be SOOOO cool! *giggles* Anyway, so that takes up my plans for Saturday and Sunday then-- Jeremy's grad party tomorrow, and Petaluma on Sunday-- I just have to call Kathleen back. =}
I'm reading mom's friend's copy of "Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West." It *is* really a good read, but to be honest, full of uhm... wait, I know this one... (things that are out of their time? Like "dollars" are in Macbeth's Scotland? Something-isms...?) anyway, yeah, there's all sorts of weirdness, but it's pretty cool to see the "other side" of the story of Oz. Remakes of fairy tales are so popular these days! There's "Just Ella," "Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister," and now "Wicked..." which has been made into a play, and I want to see it terribly, but mom says that packages go for $190! YOWZA! ;_;
I'm wondering where all my money has gone too-- I can't use my ATM card as a debit card (i.e. for random purchases at places that 'accept' ATM cards) ever... which sucks, but then I might go spend-happy with it anyway. I seriously need to get cracking on finding a summer job, and Dad seemed pretty insistent that I try and find something where I speak Japanese. I like my Dad when he pays attention to me, but he's pretty stubborn to the point where he thinks my skills are much better in a given field than they really are. I mean, when I was "working" for him for the MAUG webpage, he wanted me to try and write the pages in Korean! The only Korean word I knew was "Haimonee," the one for Grandmother! @_@;
I still miss him though, and Petaluma. This Sunday... I have to go to Border's tomorrow before I head to Jeremy's, so I can pick up one of those Father's Day books I wanted to get him. ^_^ They do free gift wrap! Ooh yeah. And maybe they're hiring... that'd be nice. Work near State, near CCSF, near McDonald's, in a bookstore...! Dream job, right there, no matter how much Joe says working in a bookstore sucks. It must be the Emeryvillians. See, VILLAINS!
~_~ Mike called, somewhat drunk. He's supposed to be here by 3pm tomorrow, and who knows where he'll head first *hackcough*Amber's*hackcough* but... yeah, doubt I'll see him unless he shows up at Jer's party. Hm. I can't call him back though (he called at 10:50... it's nearly been an hour and a half, so maybe he'll have passed out by now?) because of my damned cell phone bill. I SERIOUSLY need a job. ;_; Okay, so I'll try calling him when I get offline. Maybe. Why?
OH, yes. I forgot to mention the most karmic part of yesterday. Today hasn't been weird at all for me in retrospect to this: Guess who called? Not Jonathan (I wish-- I'm seriously going to miss him for this upcoming week he's going to be gone. I'm starting to wish for Fanime to come and go already!) or Mike (as I would have thought) but...
*drumroll please*
Lonnie. I was staring at my cell-phone sleepily for a full minute before I picked up-- it was 11pm, and having to get up early enough (12!) constituted extra hours of sleep, especially given I was zonked from my late class and trip home. I wasn't much in the mood for talking to him, so my sentences were laced with tiredness, boredom, and half an ear. He said something about being REALLY busy the past 3 weeks. Originally when he didn't call, and I was being all paranoid about the number of things that could have happened to him, I figured, hey, maybe he had more overtime and work and finals to catch up on. Yeah, that did happen, and he *is* in the process of finding an extra job-- he also said something about a car and a motorcycle I didn't completely understand, but then, why should I care about such minor details?
Pretty much any feeling/trust/whatever I had for him has been reset to 0. Or maybe 0.5. He's not a complete stranger, but he's no friend. He talked to Benji, talked to his ex-girlfriend (admittedly, he said the latter call was "emergency-style" on her behalf) and was with Benji last week when Amber spotted them and told me that whole story... but what it boils down to is this: He wasn't there for me on what *I* considered the most important day of my life. And in response to my upset at this, he says it wasn't something he could have (given-- lots of work) or WOULD have WANTED (WHAT!?!?!?!) to share. He says he's sick of graduation ceremonies, blah blah- I give up. I don't care anymore.
Whatever was going on with me and Lonnie, it didn't constitute a relationship. It was weird, mysterious, impossible to understand/predict, just like him. And I can't take that, because I need a semblance of stability in my life, and I can't get that from someone who juggles everything in his life, not to mention isn't straight and plain with people. Someone who goes around claiming "hell is the place inside me where my soul would be-- if I had one" and stuff is... gah, not my style anymore (if it ever was). I had a good fling with Lonnie or something, but if he actually thinks he cares about me (and hah- if he thinks he's still going with us to Fanime... gah) then he better do some serious shaping up.
Jonathan's been the one on my mind so much, and you guys have been seeing how happy he's been making me, right? And after Fanime's over, that'll be the same, I'm sure. I won't let it be any other way-- and maybe that makes me some sort of (to quote the Buffster here) "Uber Bitch" and control freak, but ... things like this, relationships-- I tell this to everyone I come across, relationship with ME or otherwise-- TWO WAY STREET! Give some to get some, vice versa. Yin yang, all that.
The Lost Soul
What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hmm, strangely accurate, I should think.
*sigh* I'm done ranting. I think I'm sore from being hunched over on the wooden benches at UCSC today.
It's funny how when days seem at their worst -or even just bad- little things remind you to keep your chin up. I struck a random conversation with this girl I met at the 17th Ave/Geary bus stop-- we'd gotten off the same bus stop earlier (when I'd been coming from school with Eming to dispose of several boxes of THE EAGLE newspapers) to go to the exact same place (Walgreen's) and do the same thing (deal with our photos-- me: get mine; her: drop hers off). And I showed her my prom photos and she said, looking at the strawberry blonde I am now, and said I looked better with my blondeish hair, as my complexion and expression suited it more. Good thing or bad thing?
Then, at CCSF, I got asked for directions twice-- Once was by an old guy that looked homeless but just wanted to know where the L stop was, and the other person was an exotically dressed white girl who needed to find "administration." And *I'm* the one that just started going here, dispensing directions!
Lastly, the only other girl as advanced as I am in our JAPA 1A class turned out to be a graduate of the class of '95 from Wash-- the same year as my sister! I wonder if she knew Michelle... (she did look kind of familiar to me, now that I think about it). I guess we'll find out next Tuesday. In any case, so far, so good!
And today-- today wasn't weird at all. People barely reacted to my hair change color, citing it as being "normal" for me. o_O Whatever. When it's blue, people will look. =P The UCSC graduation ceremony was long and boring, but at least the weather was nice. And my shoes (the ones I wore at prom that, without pantyhose, caused all sorts of nicks on my legs) didn't bother me at all. Dad was quite genial, and Kathleen was fun to talk to. When Brooke finally had her name called (it was in RANDOM order! How funky is that!?) ALL the Sweets, Etc. stood up, yelled, whistled, shouted, and, in a purely cheeseball moment, did the Wave. ^_^ Hehe, Brooke was like o_O... that's my family... ^^;;
After the ceremonies, we all went to go eat at Takara-- the way everyone said it, they made it sound like some Mexican or Italian place like Chevy's or somesuch, but it turned out to be this oddly-shaped Japanese place with sushi and all-- mostly white waiters, too. And in comparison to all the Japanese food I've had here in SF, it tasted weird and made me feel kinda sick. =P But ah, you win some you lose some. So goes the Capitola food trend.
On the way home, Dad had to go to the bathroom, so we pulled into Los Gatos to find a place-- hardly anything was open, but we saw all these cute boutiques with nice clothes. If it weren't such a (S)Nob-Hillized town, I'd love to go out there and shop. Speaking of shopping, Kathleen and I are supposed to be going shopping eventually for Brooke's upcoming wedding in EXACTLY 3 Months! Whoo! It'll be outdoors and in Fresno and all that-- I'm fairly sure I'm not a bridesmaid or anything (feh!).
Kathleen also dropped me a note before I left-- she said she'd pick me up on Father's Day (Sunday) and drive me out to Petaluma if I wanted to see Dad! 'Coz he's going to be in LA with his parents on his birthday on the 30th, and with short notice and no possible way to get down there ANYWAY, I can't oblige to that end, which sucks. I'd love to go see Baba and Grandpa, and maybe Jill and Co. too. Mom and I will have to plan a venture this summer, for sure. Hehe, staying at the Bonaventure! That'd be SOOOO cool! *giggles* Anyway, so that takes up my plans for Saturday and Sunday then-- Jeremy's grad party tomorrow, and Petaluma on Sunday-- I just have to call Kathleen back. =}
I'm reading mom's friend's copy of "Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West." It *is* really a good read, but to be honest, full of uhm... wait, I know this one... (things that are out of their time? Like "dollars" are in Macbeth's Scotland? Something-isms...?) anyway, yeah, there's all sorts of weirdness, but it's pretty cool to see the "other side" of the story of Oz. Remakes of fairy tales are so popular these days! There's "Just Ella," "Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister," and now "Wicked..." which has been made into a play, and I want to see it terribly, but mom says that packages go for $190! YOWZA! ;_;
I'm wondering where all my money has gone too-- I can't use my ATM card as a debit card (i.e. for random purchases at places that 'accept' ATM cards) ever... which sucks, but then I might go spend-happy with it anyway. I seriously need to get cracking on finding a summer job, and Dad seemed pretty insistent that I try and find something where I speak Japanese. I like my Dad when he pays attention to me, but he's pretty stubborn to the point where he thinks my skills are much better in a given field than they really are. I mean, when I was "working" for him for the MAUG webpage, he wanted me to try and write the pages in Korean! The only Korean word I knew was "Haimonee," the one for Grandmother! @_@;
I still miss him though, and Petaluma. This Sunday... I have to go to Border's tomorrow before I head to Jeremy's, so I can pick up one of those Father's Day books I wanted to get him. ^_^ They do free gift wrap! Ooh yeah. And maybe they're hiring... that'd be nice. Work near State, near CCSF, near McDonald's, in a bookstore...! Dream job, right there, no matter how much Joe says working in a bookstore sucks. It must be the Emeryvillians. See, VILLAINS!
~_~ Mike called, somewhat drunk. He's supposed to be here by 3pm tomorrow, and who knows where he'll head first *hackcough*Amber's*hackcough* but... yeah, doubt I'll see him unless he shows up at Jer's party. Hm. I can't call him back though (he called at 10:50... it's nearly been an hour and a half, so maybe he'll have passed out by now?) because of my damned cell phone bill. I SERIOUSLY need a job. ;_; Okay, so I'll try calling him when I get offline. Maybe. Why?
OH, yes. I forgot to mention the most karmic part of yesterday. Today hasn't been weird at all for me in retrospect to this: Guess who called? Not Jonathan (I wish-- I'm seriously going to miss him for this upcoming week he's going to be gone. I'm starting to wish for Fanime to come and go already!) or Mike (as I would have thought) but...
*drumroll please*
Lonnie. I was staring at my cell-phone sleepily for a full minute before I picked up-- it was 11pm, and having to get up early enough (12!) constituted extra hours of sleep, especially given I was zonked from my late class and trip home. I wasn't much in the mood for talking to him, so my sentences were laced with tiredness, boredom, and half an ear. He said something about being REALLY busy the past 3 weeks. Originally when he didn't call, and I was being all paranoid about the number of things that could have happened to him, I figured, hey, maybe he had more overtime and work and finals to catch up on. Yeah, that did happen, and he *is* in the process of finding an extra job-- he also said something about a car and a motorcycle I didn't completely understand, but then, why should I care about such minor details?
Pretty much any feeling/trust/whatever I had for him has been reset to 0. Or maybe 0.5. He's not a complete stranger, but he's no friend. He talked to Benji, talked to his ex-girlfriend (admittedly, he said the latter call was "emergency-style" on her behalf) and was with Benji last week when Amber spotted them and told me that whole story... but what it boils down to is this: He wasn't there for me on what *I* considered the most important day of my life. And in response to my upset at this, he says it wasn't something he could have (given-- lots of work) or WOULD have WANTED (WHAT!?!?!?!) to share. He says he's sick of graduation ceremonies, blah blah- I give up. I don't care anymore.
Whatever was going on with me and Lonnie, it didn't constitute a relationship. It was weird, mysterious, impossible to understand/predict, just like him. And I can't take that, because I need a semblance of stability in my life, and I can't get that from someone who juggles everything in his life, not to mention isn't straight and plain with people. Someone who goes around claiming "hell is the place inside me where my soul would be-- if I had one" and stuff is... gah, not my style anymore (if it ever was). I had a good fling with Lonnie or something, but if he actually thinks he cares about me (and hah- if he thinks he's still going with us to Fanime... gah) then he better do some serious shaping up.
Jonathan's been the one on my mind so much, and you guys have been seeing how happy he's been making me, right? And after Fanime's over, that'll be the same, I'm sure. I won't let it be any other way-- and maybe that makes me some sort of (to quote the Buffster here) "Uber Bitch" and control freak, but ... things like this, relationships-- I tell this to everyone I come across, relationship with ME or otherwise-- TWO WAY STREET! Give some to get some, vice versa. Yin yang, all that.
The Lost Soul
What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hmm, strangely accurate, I should think.
*sigh* I'm done ranting. I think I'm sore from being hunched over on the wooden benches at UCSC today.
