Not much better now...
Dec. 3rd, 2001 04:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteI seem to have this thing where I swing from being happy to being mega-depressed. Sometimes my friends help keep me in a good mood, sometimes not.
I went to this anime screening at State on Friday night. I love going there, but sometimes it pisses me off that my younger friend that I used to go with blows me off. I mean, it's a few hours on Friday night-- and the way I figure it, if she wanted so badly to go to another high school or go to a game center, she could do it when she cuts school, or on a weekend. Not like I'm encouraging that or whatever... I guess it's cool to make friends with the college guys. One of them is really nice... but as I said, he's a college guy. Why do I always like the tall ones?
I'm finally getting a head-start on some of my webpages--the one for my school's anime club, Les Soldats, and another for my fav TV shows/movies and their fanfictions. But that seems to be distracting me from school, as usual.
Oh yes-- one of my best friends-- the total tomboy, anti-guy one whose mom has a terminal illness-- she has a *boyfriend*. He's a college student at Berkeley, and they met because she's supposed to be his tutor-- as an excuse to me, my friend says... "if it can happen to me, it can happen to you too." Oh, I can't wait.
I already ranted enough about my lack of money, my desire to drop out... yadda yadda. So today I try to convince myself that motivation comes from wanting to one-up all those assholes that have made my life miserable at a high school reunion. But in order to be better than them, I have to graduate-- and graduate with honors, so I can go to some great school, meet some great guy, and live the fairy tale. My short-lived and fading motivation is simple, quite like Thomas the Train-- "I can." I will. I hope I can-- and I hope I will.
I went to this anime screening at State on Friday night. I love going there, but sometimes it pisses me off that my younger friend that I used to go with blows me off. I mean, it's a few hours on Friday night-- and the way I figure it, if she wanted so badly to go to another high school or go to a game center, she could do it when she cuts school, or on a weekend. Not like I'm encouraging that or whatever... I guess it's cool to make friends with the college guys. One of them is really nice... but as I said, he's a college guy. Why do I always like the tall ones?
I'm finally getting a head-start on some of my webpages--the one for my school's anime club, Les Soldats, and another for my fav TV shows/movies and their fanfictions. But that seems to be distracting me from school, as usual.
Oh yes-- one of my best friends-- the total tomboy, anti-guy one whose mom has a terminal illness-- she has a *boyfriend*. He's a college student at Berkeley, and they met because she's supposed to be his tutor-- as an excuse to me, my friend says... "if it can happen to me, it can happen to you too." Oh, I can't wait.
I already ranted enough about my lack of money, my desire to drop out... yadda yadda. So today I try to convince myself that motivation comes from wanting to one-up all those assholes that have made my life miserable at a high school reunion. But in order to be better than them, I have to graduate-- and graduate with honors, so I can go to some great school, meet some great guy, and live the fairy tale. My short-lived and fading motivation is simple, quite like Thomas the Train-- "I can." I will. I hope I can-- and I hope I will.
