Hate to be Hated
Feb. 26th, 2001 10:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteHow would you feel if someone said about you: "I wish I had never met her"? Great, huh? Well, a guy I once liked, who I thought was a sort of friend, said that about me recently. He had been talking to one of my other friends, because he apparently refused to talk to me.
I had no idea why he was so mad at me; normally, we crack jokes about each other and then it's all said and done: I'm like his annoying little sister. A few times, we've not spoken to each other for what I think are the absolute dumbest reasons: he says I don't socialize enough, I don't get along well with HIS friends, and so forth. Any way you slice it, he finds something wrong with me most of the time.
So I would say in response, "Fine then, I don't need a 'friend' like that. Screw him." But I can't just up and forget people. I remember embarrassing events, old flames, evil enemies, and dear friends. So when it's been barely two years, and someone says he wishes he had never met me, it's a little hard to just forget. Or forgive and forget. I hate to be hated, the same way some people obsess about paying back debts.
I can stand having enemies who might say they hate me, but they might deserve it. I don't feel this way about this guy: I used to like him a lot (and my friend that spoke to him said that he had also liked me, but doesn't now... I feel horrible) and now he's sort of like a weird older brother. He'll be going to college soon, and I'd hate to have loose ends that would make him look back and hate me, or ignore me.
But I hate to be hated, and yet am too proud to do anything about it.
Present Tense Note: I have no idea who this entry is referring to!
I had no idea why he was so mad at me; normally, we crack jokes about each other and then it's all said and done: I'm like his annoying little sister. A few times, we've not spoken to each other for what I think are the absolute dumbest reasons: he says I don't socialize enough, I don't get along well with HIS friends, and so forth. Any way you slice it, he finds something wrong with me most of the time.
So I would say in response, "Fine then, I don't need a 'friend' like that. Screw him." But I can't just up and forget people. I remember embarrassing events, old flames, evil enemies, and dear friends. So when it's been barely two years, and someone says he wishes he had never met me, it's a little hard to just forget. Or forgive and forget. I hate to be hated, the same way some people obsess about paying back debts.
I can stand having enemies who might say they hate me, but they might deserve it. I don't feel this way about this guy: I used to like him a lot (and my friend that spoke to him said that he had also liked me, but doesn't now... I feel horrible) and now he's sort of like a weird older brother. He'll be going to college soon, and I'd hate to have loose ends that would make him look back and hate me, or ignore me.
But I hate to be hated, and yet am too proud to do anything about it.
Present Tense Note: I have no idea who this entry is referring to!
