The Interview
Feb. 16th, 2001 09:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteOkay, so I'm not exactly COOL and CONFIDENT 100% of the time. Lord knows I'm right fidgety 50%, and a blur of emotions the rest. So today, I have this interview. It's for this summer program I got nominated for, and in order to be a candidate, I had to write an essay, revise it, find out stuff about my family's income. Blah. Blah. Blah. So I have this lovely little slip that tells me when and where my 'view is, at 12:00, during lunch. I leave my 4th class early to get to lunch, and then the interview. It turns out the interview with the previous person will last 20 minutes. Straight into my 5th class, which I love. Oh well.
Miss-Confident-Me gets nervous as time ticks away. Finally, about 15 minutes before the 6th class, which is a pain in the @$$ for me, and pretty mandatory about attendance, the last person comes out. I wait a few seconds, then knock. A muffled voice says something that sounds like "Wait A Sec" but I feel like I've been out there a millennium and start reading this poster and tapping on the wall. A few seconds later Ms. Hoity-Toity herself comes out from the room, obviously annoyed. She tells me to stop knocking after she told me to wait, and I try to apologize, I didn't know I was knocking my fingers on the door... but does she listen? NOO... storms back in her little office and makes me wait. I come back in a few minutes later, and she starts off with this cool demeanor.
So I give it right back to her, naturally. She asks some pretty general questions, just like I expected, but seeing one of my friends come from this meeting crying wasn't doing anything for my confidence. I started to pull on my fingers. She started to get annoyed with me, and it struck me that this woman was reminding me of that lady from Suddenly Susan-- whoever Susan's antagonist was, the blonde-haired woman who she always seemed to hate, who Luis was in love with? Whatever.
So anyway, she started to say I wasn't being detailed enough, that, while I was obviously intelligent, I was giving the info to her "like a ham sandwich." I ended almost every statement with a "Well, yeah." or a "You know..." I thought I sounded like a Valley Girl. And I'm from "Up North". But apparently, I made some big step, according to the same woman later.
I found out that my interviewer was the Exec Director of the program. The other woman in the room was a possible staff member, and the last lady who came in at the end was the founder of the program. Yet this didn't feel like girl talk. So eventually, I discover *SHOCK* I've made it in. Being a third person now, I hear how I made this big leap by being more emotional. The interviewer pestered me about my "status" socially, how I wasn't very popular, but, she pointed out, I was on some "cycle of destruction" because I boxed myself away from others, but ended up regretting it. It sort of overwhelmed me at the end how nice they were acting, after this woman had just peeled me apart like an onion. She was looking HAPPY that I had cried, and I still didn't know why I did. I tell you, interviewers, when they say they want to get into your shoes and find out what it is to be you... damn, they mean it.
Present Tense Note: I'm thinking the "program" in question may have been Digital Horizon or the Beacon/Richmond Review newspaper thing I did. I'm not really sure which, though. Damn, why did I have to be so vague back in high school?
Miss-Confident-Me gets nervous as time ticks away. Finally, about 15 minutes before the 6th class, which is a pain in the @$$ for me, and pretty mandatory about attendance, the last person comes out. I wait a few seconds, then knock. A muffled voice says something that sounds like "Wait A Sec" but I feel like I've been out there a millennium and start reading this poster and tapping on the wall. A few seconds later Ms. Hoity-Toity herself comes out from the room, obviously annoyed. She tells me to stop knocking after she told me to wait, and I try to apologize, I didn't know I was knocking my fingers on the door... but does she listen? NOO... storms back in her little office and makes me wait. I come back in a few minutes later, and she starts off with this cool demeanor.
So I give it right back to her, naturally. She asks some pretty general questions, just like I expected, but seeing one of my friends come from this meeting crying wasn't doing anything for my confidence. I started to pull on my fingers. She started to get annoyed with me, and it struck me that this woman was reminding me of that lady from Suddenly Susan-- whoever Susan's antagonist was, the blonde-haired woman who she always seemed to hate, who Luis was in love with? Whatever.
So anyway, she started to say I wasn't being detailed enough, that, while I was obviously intelligent, I was giving the info to her "like a ham sandwich." I ended almost every statement with a "Well, yeah." or a "You know..." I thought I sounded like a Valley Girl. And I'm from "Up North". But apparently, I made some big step, according to the same woman later.
I found out that my interviewer was the Exec Director of the program. The other woman in the room was a possible staff member, and the last lady who came in at the end was the founder of the program. Yet this didn't feel like girl talk. So eventually, I discover *SHOCK* I've made it in. Being a third person now, I hear how I made this big leap by being more emotional. The interviewer pestered me about my "status" socially, how I wasn't very popular, but, she pointed out, I was on some "cycle of destruction" because I boxed myself away from others, but ended up regretting it. It sort of overwhelmed me at the end how nice they were acting, after this woman had just peeled me apart like an onion. She was looking HAPPY that I had cried, and I still didn't know why I did. I tell you, interviewers, when they say they want to get into your shoes and find out what it is to be you... damn, they mean it.
Present Tense Note: I'm thinking the "program" in question may have been Digital Horizon or the Beacon/Richmond Review newspaper thing I did. I'm not really sure which, though. Damn, why did I have to be so vague back in high school?
