Stuck Like Glue
Jan. 30th, 2001 09:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteOh I'm so creative with my titles, huh? *laughs* Oh well, I suppose when I write so freelance, I'm not as "stingy" (with my titles, etc). I write stories in most of my free time, fanfics for animes and tv shows, to be exact. Lord knows it isn't some arcane thing that only weirdos know about. It's too lengthy to explain-- it isn't really the topic of this entry anyway.
The deal is, last year, when I was a freshman, I fell -slowly, sort of like how molasses drips down an... anything-- for this guy. Not just any guy, unfortunately, it had to be a tall (I'm short), mixed (I'm white, and it sucks most of the time), senior. (Needless to say, he was not interested) Oh wait, I take that back. For the better half of the year, we usually acted like rivals. I took whatever shots I could to piss him off, and he did the same to me. After a while, I came to expect it, like the kind of thing you get from an older brother. I should mention here that I don't have any siblings. I mean I used to, but she (my older sis) died when she was 19 in a hiking accident. I don't mind taking about her, or how it happened, but if anyone pesters me, I rip their esophagus out with a smile on my face.
BACK to the guy issue. So he was like the sibling I no longer had. Despite my constantly bitching at hinm (suffice it so say; hell, I'm an Aries) I respected him, and, like all "doomed" relationships, I had to let it go further. I started to admire him for traits that other people hated. I started to appreciate his mannerisms, no matter how crude (or egotistical). I started to fall in love with him, and me, after just coming out of what I call a "relationship" but may not truly have been so (another diary entry, my friends) thought the part of my conscience that was bouncing off the wall over this face-was crazy. Yeah. Now he's gone, and I can't stop thinking about him, despite the fact that I haven't seen/heard or anything about him since June of 2000. I don't want to believe that I was actually -and possibly still am- in love with him, but I don't know what love really is. I consider myself too young and I haven't "played the field" enough to discover what love is. But... I'm stuck on him.
The deal is, last year, when I was a freshman, I fell -slowly, sort of like how molasses drips down an... anything-- for this guy. Not just any guy, unfortunately, it had to be a tall (I'm short), mixed (I'm white, and it sucks most of the time), senior. (Needless to say, he was not interested) Oh wait, I take that back. For the better half of the year, we usually acted like rivals. I took whatever shots I could to piss him off, and he did the same to me. After a while, I came to expect it, like the kind of thing you get from an older brother. I should mention here that I don't have any siblings. I mean I used to, but she (my older sis) died when she was 19 in a hiking accident. I don't mind taking about her, or how it happened, but if anyone pesters me, I rip their esophagus out with a smile on my face.
BACK to the guy issue. So he was like the sibling I no longer had. Despite my constantly bitching at hinm (suffice it so say; hell, I'm an Aries) I respected him, and, like all "doomed" relationships, I had to let it go further. I started to admire him for traits that other people hated. I started to appreciate his mannerisms, no matter how crude (or egotistical). I started to fall in love with him, and me, after just coming out of what I call a "relationship" but may not truly have been so (another diary entry, my friends) thought the part of my conscience that was bouncing off the wall over this face-was crazy. Yeah. Now he's gone, and I can't stop thinking about him, despite the fact that I haven't seen/heard or anything about him since June of 2000. I don't want to believe that I was actually -and possibly still am- in love with him, but I don't know what love really is. I consider myself too young and I haven't "played the field" enough to discover what love is. But... I'm stuck on him.
