And so it goes
Jun. 3rd, 2003 07:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteI should have known. Expected, even. When you have high hopes for something or someone, they just go crashing out a twenty-story window and into a pit of lava, where monsters with three-foot long teeth await them so they can digest your hopes with their poisonous stomach acid.
And people wonder why I'm into creative writing.
Hmm, well last night I was feeling chipper-- mom let me get my chinese food, and one of my fortune cookies said "You will soon bring joy to someone." So maybe I will, SOON, but I was kind of hoping for a CERTAIN someone, and SOON being today. Blah, that didn't happen. Mer forgot ALL about the finals schedule, and when she tried to print her letter to J.Po out, it turns out the school network was down! As if the letter not being able to be accessed wasn't bad enough, this also meant Mer couldn't send herself a *.pub copy of the student paper online via FTP, so she could finish her final project for journalism and turn it in already! AUGH!
Okay, I'm going to stop talking about myself in the third person. Let's see, what else made this a not-nice day? Well, despite the fact that the paper did INDEED arrive, and it DOES look great, I'm a nitpicker. As usual, all the hard work I slaved over for the senior spread was for naught-- the names are blurry, just like Eva said they would be. I knew I should have stuck around last Friday when Cassie and I faxed the hardcopy out to Folger's, to make sure they had a clean copy, with readable names! AUGH!
And if that wasn't enough-- back to the letter-- it turned out that even if I went home today (where I am now) and copied down the J.Po letter by hand to give it to him tomorrow-- he wouldn't get it-- after all, the 3rd period final, the only class final I thought LEFT where I KNOW where he is... was today! Not tomorrow! ;_; And the next time I *might* see him is Thursday, and I don't even know what the schedule for underclassmen IS that day, let alone if he'll be playing at graduation with Band. ;_; *sigh* I was really hoping he'd show up afterschool today in the ROTC, so I stuck around there for a half hour, under the pretense of getting Colonel and Sergeant Major to sign my yearbook (which they did, but I can't read guys' handwriting. No, I take that back, I can only read Fred and Will's handwriting). And hanging out with Sheila, but it's not like with my voice I got much talking done-- I *still* sound like a dying frog, and all the cough drops and tea aren't doing any good! Hot water and salt here I come!
You know what really stings, though? Even with 500 other classmates in the Class of '03-- even with 4 years of history-- and more than that with most of them, people I've known since middle school or longer-- people just can't seem to stop hating me. My reputation will follow me everywhere, won't it? What will it take for me to just get a fresh start? Do I have to whack myself over the head with a brick-- to get amnesia so I have an excuse to change my name, move somewhere far away, and begin anew? I mean... I can never get a break! Before the practice today, I asked Ishibashi if it was possible for him to make an announcement about the school paper being out. He said he would later on, towards the end-- but instead, he called ME up to make the announcement! Normally I'm not so shy or anything, so it's not like I put up a fight, but as I walked down the walkway to the stage, people were making fun of me-- yelling at me to go back to my seat, sit down and shut up. It would have been one thing if I'd been accepting some sort of gooey award (and by the way, the awards ceremony is tonight, and I wasn't invited-- after 4 years of hard work and dedication to this damn school, it doesn't pay off worth SHIT! I'm not getting a thing) ... but all I was doing was announcing that the paper was out! I was embarassed enough with my voice sounding so terrible, so I tried to make it quick and frank, but NOOOO people had to be rude and everything, and by the time I got offstage, I'm sure I was as red as my shirt! I'm just glad I didn't trip down the stairs.
Honestly, I try to make a list of the pros and cons of today, and I really come up with more cons:
PROS
* Finished more work on the webpage for my journalism final project
* Got the paper distributed!
* Got my yearbook signed by more people/signed more yearbooks
* Hung out with my friends and made plans to see Finding Nemo on Saturday
* Made plans for a bonfire/schoolwork burning for Sunday (WHO WANTS TO COME!?!??!)
* Sort of figured out a way to get J.Po his letter, but it's pretty chancey
CONS
* Still have MORE work to do on the project, and since a) my printer's broken and b) I don't have the CD stickers, I can't do the cool labels I wanted; am missing several articles to put in the archives, and even if I do find the old hardcopies on the 'Net or in the paper, I'd have to retype them ALL by hand
* Got booed and hissed at the graduation practice while trying to distribute papers
* Didn't get all senior members of the staff to help out like they said they would
* Saw tons of papers that we'd worked SO hard on littered all around the auditorium like trash after the practice
* Was disappointed in my class' respect for important members of the community
* Still have more people (mostly teachers) to get to sign my yearbook
* Might not have enough money for Finding Nemo on Saturday
* Didn't make any SOLID plans for a bonfire/schoolwork burning on Sunday; besides, who will be able to come, and will the weather be good?
* Am worried J.Po won't get his letter until it's too late, and can't come up with a better way to contact him; I don't know his 2nd period tomorrow, the only final he has left, and don't know if he'll go ROTC to get the letter I'll leave in his inbox
* LONNIE DIDN'T CALL!!!
* Should have made plans to hang out with Mike's brother, Dave, but thought I was going to be busy today. Now I feel guilty for "lying."
* Feel terribly guilty for Joe spending 60-some-odd bucks on that font I really, really, really wanted-- but I have Tokyopop to thank for giving me the name, it's just... yeeks, that much for a font!??! He's done so much for me, and I can never seem to give back to him, even though we're not going out anymore!!!
So, as you can see... And summer doesn't look like that much of a bright prospect, either. I mean, in a few days:
* Will have to spend most of my money to get my hair professionally bleached ($70)
* Will have to still scrounge up money/supplies for the last bit of my Rena costume (cape, jewelry, fake ears^, kogal socks) in time for Fanime
* Still have to determine who exactly is going to Fanime (Will, Amber, Mike, ?, ?, ?, ?) and make sure they still PAY for their room before the 20th-- it's only $26! (Lonnie?)
* Have to try getting into those classes at CCSF, and am not too hopeful/sure about the process
* Have to work on cleaning my room, organizing my computer, finishing my fics/webpages, working with others on co-fics, updating other pages, getting a job...
^ not necessarily required, but preferred, obviously
I'm stressed and looking at the glass half-empty, which is something I never do! I could use some sort of super-speed right now, to just be able to get everything done quickly. Then I could get to doing some of those things on my '75 Things To Do This Summer' list done-- like #7-- RELAX! But that just won't be possible, will it?? AUGH!
Something, PLEASE, brighten up my day!! Let me win the Wednesday lottery or something! (I haven't bought a ticket, and I'm sure the jackpot isn't that high-- should I "waste" $1 anyway?)
And people wonder why I'm into creative writing.
Hmm, well last night I was feeling chipper-- mom let me get my chinese food, and one of my fortune cookies said "You will soon bring joy to someone." So maybe I will, SOON, but I was kind of hoping for a CERTAIN someone, and SOON being today. Blah, that didn't happen. Mer forgot ALL about the finals schedule, and when she tried to print her letter to J.Po out, it turns out the school network was down! As if the letter not being able to be accessed wasn't bad enough, this also meant Mer couldn't send herself a *.pub copy of the student paper online via FTP, so she could finish her final project for journalism and turn it in already! AUGH!
Okay, I'm going to stop talking about myself in the third person. Let's see, what else made this a not-nice day? Well, despite the fact that the paper did INDEED arrive, and it DOES look great, I'm a nitpicker. As usual, all the hard work I slaved over for the senior spread was for naught-- the names are blurry, just like Eva said they would be. I knew I should have stuck around last Friday when Cassie and I faxed the hardcopy out to Folger's, to make sure they had a clean copy, with readable names! AUGH!
And if that wasn't enough-- back to the letter-- it turned out that even if I went home today (where I am now) and copied down the J.Po letter by hand to give it to him tomorrow-- he wouldn't get it-- after all, the 3rd period final, the only class final I thought LEFT where I KNOW where he is... was today! Not tomorrow! ;_; And the next time I *might* see him is Thursday, and I don't even know what the schedule for underclassmen IS that day, let alone if he'll be playing at graduation with Band. ;_; *sigh* I was really hoping he'd show up afterschool today in the ROTC, so I stuck around there for a half hour, under the pretense of getting Colonel and Sergeant Major to sign my yearbook (which they did, but I can't read guys' handwriting. No, I take that back, I can only read Fred and Will's handwriting). And hanging out with Sheila, but it's not like with my voice I got much talking done-- I *still* sound like a dying frog, and all the cough drops and tea aren't doing any good! Hot water and salt here I come!
You know what really stings, though? Even with 500 other classmates in the Class of '03-- even with 4 years of history-- and more than that with most of them, people I've known since middle school or longer-- people just can't seem to stop hating me. My reputation will follow me everywhere, won't it? What will it take for me to just get a fresh start? Do I have to whack myself over the head with a brick-- to get amnesia so I have an excuse to change my name, move somewhere far away, and begin anew? I mean... I can never get a break! Before the practice today, I asked Ishibashi if it was possible for him to make an announcement about the school paper being out. He said he would later on, towards the end-- but instead, he called ME up to make the announcement! Normally I'm not so shy or anything, so it's not like I put up a fight, but as I walked down the walkway to the stage, people were making fun of me-- yelling at me to go back to my seat, sit down and shut up. It would have been one thing if I'd been accepting some sort of gooey award (and by the way, the awards ceremony is tonight, and I wasn't invited-- after 4 years of hard work and dedication to this damn school, it doesn't pay off worth SHIT! I'm not getting a thing) ... but all I was doing was announcing that the paper was out! I was embarassed enough with my voice sounding so terrible, so I tried to make it quick and frank, but NOOOO people had to be rude and everything, and by the time I got offstage, I'm sure I was as red as my shirt! I'm just glad I didn't trip down the stairs.
Honestly, I try to make a list of the pros and cons of today, and I really come up with more cons:
PROS
* Finished more work on the webpage for my journalism final project
* Got the paper distributed!
* Got my yearbook signed by more people/signed more yearbooks
* Hung out with my friends and made plans to see Finding Nemo on Saturday
* Made plans for a bonfire/schoolwork burning for Sunday (WHO WANTS TO COME!?!??!)
* Sort of figured out a way to get J.Po his letter, but it's pretty chancey
CONS
* Still have MORE work to do on the project, and since a) my printer's broken and b) I don't have the CD stickers, I can't do the cool labels I wanted; am missing several articles to put in the archives, and even if I do find the old hardcopies on the 'Net or in the paper, I'd have to retype them ALL by hand
* Got booed and hissed at the graduation practice while trying to distribute papers
* Didn't get all senior members of the staff to help out like they said they would
* Saw tons of papers that we'd worked SO hard on littered all around the auditorium like trash after the practice
* Was disappointed in my class' respect for important members of the community
* Still have more people (mostly teachers) to get to sign my yearbook
* Might not have enough money for Finding Nemo on Saturday
* Didn't make any SOLID plans for a bonfire/schoolwork burning on Sunday; besides, who will be able to come, and will the weather be good?
* Am worried J.Po won't get his letter until it's too late, and can't come up with a better way to contact him; I don't know his 2nd period tomorrow, the only final he has left, and don't know if he'll go ROTC to get the letter I'll leave in his inbox
* LONNIE DIDN'T CALL!!!
* Should have made plans to hang out with Mike's brother, Dave, but thought I was going to be busy today. Now I feel guilty for "lying."
* Feel terribly guilty for Joe spending 60-some-odd bucks on that font I really, really, really wanted-- but I have Tokyopop to thank for giving me the name, it's just... yeeks, that much for a font!??! He's done so much for me, and I can never seem to give back to him, even though we're not going out anymore!!!
So, as you can see... And summer doesn't look like that much of a bright prospect, either. I mean, in a few days:
* Will have to spend most of my money to get my hair professionally bleached ($70)
* Will have to still scrounge up money/supplies for the last bit of my Rena costume (cape, jewelry, fake ears^, kogal socks) in time for Fanime
* Still have to determine who exactly is going to Fanime (Will, Amber, Mike, ?, ?, ?, ?) and make sure they still PAY for their room before the 20th-- it's only $26! (Lonnie?)
* Have to try getting into those classes at CCSF, and am not too hopeful/sure about the process
* Have to work on cleaning my room, organizing my computer, finishing my fics/webpages, working with others on co-fics, updating other pages, getting a job...
^ not necessarily required, but preferred, obviously
I'm stressed and looking at the glass half-empty, which is something I never do! I could use some sort of super-speed right now, to just be able to get everything done quickly. Then I could get to doing some of those things on my '75 Things To Do This Summer' list done-- like #7-- RELAX! But that just won't be possible, will it?? AUGH!
Something, PLEASE, brighten up my day!! Let me win the Wednesday lottery or something! (I haven't bought a ticket, and I'm sure the jackpot isn't that high-- should I "waste" $1 anyway?)
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uh....
Date: 2003-06-03 08:44 pm (UTC)Re: uh....
Date: 2003-06-03 08:52 pm (UTC)Re: uh....
Date: 2003-06-03 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-03 09:32 pm (UTC)Ohh well...
You can if you think you can! (There is no spoon)
Date: 2003-06-04 12:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 12:25 pm (UTC)But CONGRATS on your graduation! It doesn't matter that you didn't have anything at the awards ceremony (yeah, even though I'm sure it would have been nice) but I know you're capable of anything because you give everything you do your best effort. And that's an award most people don't get.
Re:
Date: 2003-06-04 09:46 pm (UTC)