C'est chic!
May. 22nd, 2006 12:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azurite1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people
Okay, so who remembers eMode.com? I'm looking at you![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
schmollieollie! You remember when we used to take all those random tests-- the infamously long IQ test, the stupid tests about dreams, your presidential match, etc.? Well, I know they became "Tickle" a while ago, but I just wanted to see if they still stored my old test results, because I must have taken at least a hundred tests there. No luck. I tried signing in with all 3 of my old emails (and I do have more, but I don't use them to sign up for sites), but it couldn't find any matching email. So I signed up under my new email, and I imagine I'll be taking all the goofy tests again. :D
Well, so I waited almost all day for Scott to call me. I don't know why I was feeling so worried about him, but it probably had something to do with the fact that he'd told me he'd gotten some good news from the Peace Corps, but since I was helping a customer when he IMd me, I couldn't find out what that good news was. He didn't call, message, or email me at all on Saturday, so I was a bit freaked out, thinking maybe something had happened to him either on the way home or on Saturday.
Well, he finally messaged me earlier today, saying he'd call me later, and he finally called me about an hour ago. My throat's been sore all day, but I wanted to talk to him, so I managed to talk for nearly an hour despite my throat's protests. So of course he told me the good news, which was that he got his papers cleared so quickly that they might be able to send him out sooner, and possibly to a more preferred place (in Asia) if he finishes his TEFL certification. I'd be thrilled if he ended up in or near Japan.
I told him my news, which is not so good -that I might not have a job this summer if for some reason, the university doesn't consider me a CSUN student while I'm studying abroad. That makes no sense to me, since Financial Aid told me I'd still get my grants, loans, and scholarships, and be charged CSUN tuition. I also talked to Prof. Hirota about classes, and it turns out at least 3 (Japanese and 2 possible Journalism courses) will be transferable as CSUN classes, rather than just "tacked on credit." SO FTW!? I need that job this summer.
Anyway, back to the point: somehow (and I can never remember how) we ended up talking about "us" in a certain context, and he said (essentially) that we're "coming to the end of this, or not 'the end,' but something similar to it." What, pray tell, is similar to an END? How about some other equally gruesome terms that foretell heartbreak, wangst, and general BAD FEELING: death, destruction, decay, finis, finale, closing, stopping... none of these really have a positive connotation to them. And I'm sick of telling Scott that I hate it when he talks like that, as if this isn't anything in the here and now, and the future is this big inevitable separation where we won't talk at all.
It's a total contradiction to what he does say- that he will call and write to me, even if he's in Central Europe. Of course being several THOUSAND miles apart is much different than being two hundred or so, so it's much easier to say he's my boyfriend NOW than I would be able to if he's in Europe and I'm in Japan (or the States). Plus, he said something similar before he broke up with me the first time, before his final semester-- and we all know how THAT went. It's not like he came "crawling back to me" or anything, but we really couldn't stay away from each other.
I realize the circumstances will be very different in this case, but I hate how he makes a "break up" (or whatever) so inevitable. Hello, we still have summer? And even if they do bump his departure date to August (rather than Feb. '07), that's still time we have together, even if it's just a little bit (because we'd both be busy getting ready to leave). I mean, "end" sounds so final...
Argh, I just don't know what to think or feel about this, let alone what to say to him. It's hurtful, but I'm honestly sick of trying to argue against the truth. Yeah, if we both go our separate ways, that's fine, that's "inevitable," but this isn't like a graduation or something where you can't even TALK to someone somehow. I'd like to believe that even if he's gone for two years, and I'm in school for 1+ more years, we can still stay in touch, and maybe when we're both done.... Waugh, am I just being too idealistic again?
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people
Okay, so who remembers eMode.com? I'm looking at you
schmollieollie! You remember when we used to take all those random tests-- the infamously long IQ test, the stupid tests about dreams, your presidential match, etc.? Well, I know they became "Tickle" a while ago, but I just wanted to see if they still stored my old test results, because I must have taken at least a hundred tests there. No luck. I tried signing in with all 3 of my old emails (and I do have more, but I don't use them to sign up for sites), but it couldn't find any matching email. So I signed up under my new email, and I imagine I'll be taking all the goofy tests again. :DWell, so I waited almost all day for Scott to call me. I don't know why I was feeling so worried about him, but it probably had something to do with the fact that he'd told me he'd gotten some good news from the Peace Corps, but since I was helping a customer when he IMd me, I couldn't find out what that good news was. He didn't call, message, or email me at all on Saturday, so I was a bit freaked out, thinking maybe something had happened to him either on the way home or on Saturday.
Well, he finally messaged me earlier today, saying he'd call me later, and he finally called me about an hour ago. My throat's been sore all day, but I wanted to talk to him, so I managed to talk for nearly an hour despite my throat's protests. So of course he told me the good news, which was that he got his papers cleared so quickly that they might be able to send him out sooner, and possibly to a more preferred place (in Asia) if he finishes his TEFL certification. I'd be thrilled if he ended up in or near Japan.
I told him my news, which is not so good -that I might not have a job this summer if for some reason, the university doesn't consider me a CSUN student while I'm studying abroad. That makes no sense to me, since Financial Aid told me I'd still get my grants, loans, and scholarships, and be charged CSUN tuition. I also talked to Prof. Hirota about classes, and it turns out at least 3 (Japanese and 2 possible Journalism courses) will be transferable as CSUN classes, rather than just "tacked on credit." SO FTW!? I need that job this summer.
Anyway, back to the point: somehow (and I can never remember how) we ended up talking about "us" in a certain context, and he said (essentially) that we're "coming to the end of this, or not 'the end,' but something similar to it." What, pray tell, is similar to an END? How about some other equally gruesome terms that foretell heartbreak, wangst, and general BAD FEELING: death, destruction, decay, finis, finale, closing, stopping... none of these really have a positive connotation to them. And I'm sick of telling Scott that I hate it when he talks like that, as if this isn't anything in the here and now, and the future is this big inevitable separation where we won't talk at all.
It's a total contradiction to what he does say- that he will call and write to me, even if he's in Central Europe. Of course being several THOUSAND miles apart is much different than being two hundred or so, so it's much easier to say he's my boyfriend NOW than I would be able to if he's in Europe and I'm in Japan (or the States). Plus, he said something similar before he broke up with me the first time, before his final semester-- and we all know how THAT went. It's not like he came "crawling back to me" or anything, but we really couldn't stay away from each other.
I realize the circumstances will be very different in this case, but I hate how he makes a "break up" (or whatever) so inevitable. Hello, we still have summer? And even if they do bump his departure date to August (rather than Feb. '07), that's still time we have together, even if it's just a little bit (because we'd both be busy getting ready to leave). I mean, "end" sounds so final...
Argh, I just don't know what to think or feel about this, let alone what to say to him. It's hurtful, but I'm honestly sick of trying to argue against the truth. Yeah, if we both go our separate ways, that's fine, that's "inevitable," but this isn't like a graduation or something where you can't even TALK to someone somehow. I'd like to believe that even if he's gone for two years, and I'm in school for 1+ more years, we can still stay in touch, and maybe when we're both done.... Waugh, am I just being too idealistic again?
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-22 04:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-22 06:38 pm (UTC)2. movie/song - Hah, maybe that song from Music to Duel By, "Ahead of the Game"? In retrospect, it kind of fits, because it always seems like you're "ahead" of the fandom with your theories.
3. activity - You know, that whole "which Seto is more developed?" thing sounds pretty fun to me.
4. que? - mysteriously-in-his-own-body-hiding-something-big-like-the-end-of-the-world-maybe!Yami no Yuugi, yeah.
5. memory - My memories are currently trapped in a Millennium Item. Please leave a message after the evil cackle.
6. quote - I just found this one: "If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious." Love how fandom works like that. Gives us both more to do.
7. wonder 'bout - How the heck did we meet again? Was it through a fic review, an LJ comm, or something else?
no subject
Date: 2006-05-22 06:40 pm (UTC)3) I plan to write that up today.
7) I read 'What Doesn't Kill You' and began to stalk you and
no subject
Date: 2006-05-22 09:15 pm (UTC)It's not the end...end is too "final" like you said !
no subject
Date: 2006-05-22 09:23 pm (UTC)2. song/movie - I can't remember which song exactly (it may have been "Hitorijime" from Cardcaptor Sakura), but back when I made Anime Megamixes on tape, you asked to listen to it once, and remarked that the song was (something something), and whatever "something something" was, it cracked me up. It's always fun to hear a non-anime fan's opinion on anime-related stuff.
3. activity - Why, see an action-packed movie this Friday, of course!
4. que? - Cherry Bing Bing (I think)!
5. memory - I seem to remember showing up insanely early to Presidio on the first day of school. I was a grumpy bitch, and huddled up in the corner entrance near the student store. I don't know how we started talking, but that moment seems to have stuck in my head. You've got guts for sticking with me as long as you have, and I really appreciate it.
6. quote - " I haven't found Mr Right, but I have found Mr Cheap, Mr Sleazy and Mr Wrong."
7. wonder 'bout - This is silly, but how come I never know about the guys/the code names of the guys you like? I always end up hearing it second or third-hand, and I wonder if it's because you can't trust me or something. ;_;
no subject
Date: 2006-05-23 06:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-23 06:37 am (UTC)2. song/movie - Hm, there's probably a Bemani song that would work, but which one is a tough choice.
3. activity - hang out at Fanime!
4. que? - Nothing I could say would only make sense to you and me. We tend to talk pop culture, or about people in our various "groups" (or that were), so everyone knows everything, methinks. Although I'm pretty sure you were the only one to know all my bizarre nicknames for my crushes, including ROTC ones that you only knew from Brigade meetings.
5. memory - I always remember it for the irony and humor, but when I was sitting in the hallway outside Digital Horizon's offices, and when you rounded the corner, we both said at the same time "YOU!" It was quite funny, in retrospect.
6. quote - "All your base are belong to us."
7. wonder 'bout - If you could honestly have you dream job, what would it be, and why?