The Bafflement
Mar. 20th, 2006 07:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteI was starting to get worried about Takase-sensei never calling on me in class. I was wondering what I was doing wrong, or what she really thought of me. I recall now the fact that she seemed pretty reluctant to even give me another recommendation letter earlier in the semester, even though I impressed on her how important it was to me... if I get the NSEP scholarship, it will pretty much pay for my entire study abroad trip to Japan (if I get in).
Well, so the truth finally came out today... she asked me to stay a bit after class, and she wanted to know what my study methods were. I clammed up immediately. I thought I couldn't possibly tell her that I always do the homework the day that it's due, and I rarely have dialogues memorized until a few hours before we perform. I only try to do the listening comprehension days before class, and last week proved that I didn't even need to do that, because I managed to finish it in under an hour at the library.
She said she noticed how my binder is all highlighted and filled with notes, and I take notes. She said that I always have the answer when she asks questions, and I always get my dialogues and response drills correct. I was standing there in shock -flattered, but unsure of where this was going. I was under the impression that she'd found me out about my procrastinating-but-somehow-still-performing ways. I'd even been having troubles keeping up; 102 is significantly harder than 101, but I'm slowly remembering things from my high school Japanese days. I'm hoping that my translations of Gospel of Truth will help me get even better.
What it boiled down to was that she wants to encourage everyone else to study like me (uh-oh), and even though I "neglected" to mention the last-minute aspect that strangely works for me, she liked how I highlighted portions, wrote the answers down for the response drills, regardless of how many possibilities there are, and how I find the pattern in each of our drills. I also read the grammar patterns, in case I get confused during a situational drill or listening comprehension set, and I romanize all the vocabulary so I'm always sure of how to pronounce something and what it means. I've stopped trying to romanize everything in the listening and situational drills, or the questions in the reading and writing, but I'm always trying to speed up my reading of the kana.
And she wants me to stop participating so eagerly in class. Specifically, she said she wants me (and herself, of course) to be more "patient" with everyone else. She notices that if I volunteer the answers too readily, other people don't seem motivated to answer-- even when she singles people out, or asks the entire class to answer something loudly. She started asking everyone to write their answers for practice and dialogues, and to write their partner's name as well, so she knows everyone worked together, talked, rehearsed, etc.
I didn't even think I *was* participating eagerly -I have my troubles too, even if much of this is familiar to me. But we are starting on informal speech and more complex patterns than I ever learned in high school Japanese, especially considering I chickened out in my junior year of HS and essentially bombed in all my classes. I won't let that happen here, but if Takase-sensei's 'speech' is any indication, it won't happen.
I'm halfway between disappointed and pleased-- I'm glad she thinks I'm such a good student that's doing so well, and willing to help others, but I'm sad that I won't get called on, and will in fact be encouraged NOT to volunteer info. I don't think I was ever doing it excessively anyway, or interupting people when it was their turn, or helping them when someone didn't want me to. If I had been, I wouldn't have thought I was being singled out. My class isn't a "raise your hand to speak" class anyway; she just calls on people by name, and they have to be ready to answer. I was getting upset because she never seemed to call on me, or even look in my direction.
So... that's it.
And today we got our papers/stories back in Journalism. Today was a miracle day in that I felt like I got little sleep, but I'm still awake, not feeling all that tired, and I managed to get EVERYTHING done before it was due. I was a little late to Geography, but considering we were watching "Cadillac Desert" (on William Mulholland and the LA River) rather than getting lectured, it wasn't a horrible deal. I always seem to be late on "shower day." I insist on eating a good breakfast when it's manageable (manageable is 10 minutes or more before I have to leave), so often other things make me late.
In any case, I wasn't expecting a lot out of my article, because I can honestly say I could have tried harder. Once-a-week classes ask for procrastination, because there's not enough regular motivation to get things done. On the flip side, everything has a heavier weight, because you have "all this time" to get things done. Except, I'm a full-time student with 4 other classes and work. It was also a difficult assignment, with a difficult teacher, at the beginning of the semester-- in what was a very difficult time for me, worrying about Japan applications, scholarships, and everything else.
It's slowed down a bit, and it's true that our upcoming personal essay might be easier ('might' is the keyword), but... a C+?
Hm. I guess it's okay. I don't want to be one of those students who whines about something that's average or acceptable. I wouldn't have expected an A. A B- might have been nice, but you can't win them all. I genuinely DID B.S. a lot of the story; I researched where I should have reported, and I'm not proud of the fact. But I don't want to get USED to being okay with C+s, though.
Well, so the truth finally came out today... she asked me to stay a bit after class, and she wanted to know what my study methods were. I clammed up immediately. I thought I couldn't possibly tell her that I always do the homework the day that it's due, and I rarely have dialogues memorized until a few hours before we perform. I only try to do the listening comprehension days before class, and last week proved that I didn't even need to do that, because I managed to finish it in under an hour at the library.
She said she noticed how my binder is all highlighted and filled with notes, and I take notes. She said that I always have the answer when she asks questions, and I always get my dialogues and response drills correct. I was standing there in shock -flattered, but unsure of where this was going. I was under the impression that she'd found me out about my procrastinating-but-somehow-still-performing ways. I'd even been having troubles keeping up; 102 is significantly harder than 101, but I'm slowly remembering things from my high school Japanese days. I'm hoping that my translations of Gospel of Truth will help me get even better.
What it boiled down to was that she wants to encourage everyone else to study like me (uh-oh), and even though I "neglected" to mention the last-minute aspect that strangely works for me, she liked how I highlighted portions, wrote the answers down for the response drills, regardless of how many possibilities there are, and how I find the pattern in each of our drills. I also read the grammar patterns, in case I get confused during a situational drill or listening comprehension set, and I romanize all the vocabulary so I'm always sure of how to pronounce something and what it means. I've stopped trying to romanize everything in the listening and situational drills, or the questions in the reading and writing, but I'm always trying to speed up my reading of the kana.
And she wants me to stop participating so eagerly in class. Specifically, she said she wants me (and herself, of course) to be more "patient" with everyone else. She notices that if I volunteer the answers too readily, other people don't seem motivated to answer-- even when she singles people out, or asks the entire class to answer something loudly. She started asking everyone to write their answers for practice and dialogues, and to write their partner's name as well, so she knows everyone worked together, talked, rehearsed, etc.
I didn't even think I *was* participating eagerly -I have my troubles too, even if much of this is familiar to me. But we are starting on informal speech and more complex patterns than I ever learned in high school Japanese, especially considering I chickened out in my junior year of HS and essentially bombed in all my classes. I won't let that happen here, but if Takase-sensei's 'speech' is any indication, it won't happen.
I'm halfway between disappointed and pleased-- I'm glad she thinks I'm such a good student that's doing so well, and willing to help others, but I'm sad that I won't get called on, and will in fact be encouraged NOT to volunteer info. I don't think I was ever doing it excessively anyway, or interupting people when it was their turn, or helping them when someone didn't want me to. If I had been, I wouldn't have thought I was being singled out. My class isn't a "raise your hand to speak" class anyway; she just calls on people by name, and they have to be ready to answer. I was getting upset because she never seemed to call on me, or even look in my direction.
So... that's it.
And today we got our papers/stories back in Journalism. Today was a miracle day in that I felt like I got little sleep, but I'm still awake, not feeling all that tired, and I managed to get EVERYTHING done before it was due. I was a little late to Geography, but considering we were watching "Cadillac Desert" (on William Mulholland and the LA River) rather than getting lectured, it wasn't a horrible deal. I always seem to be late on "shower day." I insist on eating a good breakfast when it's manageable (manageable is 10 minutes or more before I have to leave), so often other things make me late.
In any case, I wasn't expecting a lot out of my article, because I can honestly say I could have tried harder. Once-a-week classes ask for procrastination, because there's not enough regular motivation to get things done. On the flip side, everything has a heavier weight, because you have "all this time" to get things done. Except, I'm a full-time student with 4 other classes and work. It was also a difficult assignment, with a difficult teacher, at the beginning of the semester-- in what was a very difficult time for me, worrying about Japan applications, scholarships, and everything else.
It's slowed down a bit, and it's true that our upcoming personal essay might be easier ('might' is the keyword), but... a C+?
Hm. I guess it's okay. I don't want to be one of those students who whines about something that's average or acceptable. I wouldn't have expected an A. A B- might have been nice, but you can't win them all. I genuinely DID B.S. a lot of the story; I researched where I should have reported, and I'm not proud of the fact. But I don't want to get USED to being okay with C+s, though.
