AjayCool is NOT so cool.
Dec. 11th, 2005 04:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteUgh. I was going to suggest to anyone with DSL and some free time on their hands to grab Yu-Gi-Oh Online; it's fun, challenging, and an accurate rendition of the TCG. It's also very cheap and easy to learn compared with other PC/Online games these days, and all you need is the game itself (which comes with a Duel Pass) and a DSL or high speed 'Net connection.
...But I just got harassed in a duel. Admittedly, I didn't have to chat with the guy in the first place. But he asked "asl" and I honestly replied: 20/f/USA. He said he was 21/m/ma, and I told him it was rare for older guys to be in the chat. And then he just decided to be a complete jerk and pervert and waste my time. He asked me where in the USA I was from, what I looked like, what my measurements were... yuck! I was there to duel, not to meet people! I could have mentioned I have a boyfriend, but that excuse doesn't fly with online pervs anymore; they just are like "I wanna chat wit u!" And he did say that, BTW. I told him I didn't have AIM or YIM, and after I beat his ass into the ground with a Summoned Skull (and then added him to my Ignore List), I reported him to Konami.
And I told the truth. I don't have AIM or YIM... I have Trillian! :P Bwahah. But all the same, I won't stop dueling. I need to buy (or get) a new Duel Pass soon ($14.99 for 150 Duels; basically 10 cents per duel). I would like to pre-arrange some duels with people I actually know and like... hopefully Mamono will get DSL at the end of the year, and I can send her the game and buy her a Duel Pass and we can duel the right way! :O!
Erin, Shaina, and their boyfriends, Elliot and Sam (respectively) all came to visit yesterday... I toured Shaina and Sam around CSUN, but since most of the campus was closed, we didn't get to see much. Shaina's thinking about coming to CSUN after she graduates from UCSC, because she wants to get her teaching credential (and be closer to Baba and Grandpa). Scott came over as well (we were planning to spend some time together as "the last week we'll probably see each other in a long, long time"), and we went to Islands over in Porter Ranch for dinner. T'was good (had a quesadilla). We also swung by Toys R' Us... I want the new DDR Extreme 2 (or Karaoke Revolution!) and... I was so tempted to buy some Duel Monsters/Yu-Gi-Oh TCG cards, but all they had was the Christmas packs, the Fire/Water boosters (forgot their appropriate names... Blaze-something and Something-from the Deep) and the new Cybernetic Revolution/Elemental Energy packs. Me? I want Dragon's Roar! :P Even if I have no one to duel against, so it's pointless. I don't need them.
Well afterwards, we went to Blockbuster; I grabbed Arabian Nights (from 200X), [so you can expect Lunar Nights, one of my old Sailormoon fanfiction ideas, to be resurrected soon] and Sam & Shaina grabbed this movie called "Stone Cold." Well as we were getting set up in the rec room to watch it later that night (after Erin and Elliott showed up) I noticed Erin had just gone through my food and had my crackers on her BF's lap.
And it all went to hell from there. I knew I never should have complained or so much as reached for the damn bag, but I was upset about a lot of things (everything seems to be falling apart all at once; I have to except the inevitability of my grandparents' death, Scott leaving, and me not having many friends/getting along with people down here, and being broke) I pretty much threw a hissy fit. After a few minutes of really uncomfortable silence (after being proven especially wrong by Erin, who normally makes arguments with more holes than Swiss Cheese), I decided I couldn't take it, and short of going to the computer and ignoring them, I went up to my room and started to clean. In the dark.
I felt like an idiot (not for cleaning in the dark) for what I'd said and done, but I didn't want to apologize because to me, Erin was still in the wrong for assuming that she can just take whatever the hell she wants out of our cupboards, just because they're HER grandparents too. Anyone with half a brain would know that two 70+ year-olds can't eat salty foods like Goldfish crackers, anyway! On top of that, I'm pretty sure I paid for those with my own money, and I hate seeing people go through my stuff like it's theirs and not realize that it's my money! Erin never gets me anything anyway, and she sure as hell will forget about mowing through half my bag of crackers when she had her own damn popcorn and other snacks.
Scott came upstairs, and we ended up talking for over an hour. We both missed the movie. And a lot of what was said was things I'd heard from Scott before, and I said things that I knew he'd heard before. You know, I have this archetype that I fit (or am supposed to fit) of me being loud, outgoing, courageous, etc. I'm not. Really-- I'm a very scared person with wavering self-esteem and next to no confidence. I guess when the situation calls for it, I can perform... or at least, pretend/act like I'm okay.
And in the end, what it got down to was, I was afraid I'd disappointed Scott with my immaturity again. He said the only thing that would ever disappoint him is if I'm not happy and I don't succeed. And funny enough, he quoted a line from DBZ, something Goku said to Gohan: "You have all the power you need. Just look inside yourself." I guess that is a really motivational, inspiring line... I wish I could keep it in mind. I wish I could tell myself more often, "I believe in myself" without it sounding hollow and fake.
I apologized to Erin this morning, but they hardly spoke to me up until they all left. We didn't even eat at the same table, and they pretty much got all the Matzo Brie without salmon (FYI: I hate fish). But there's no use being grumpy about it when it's not even my real problem. We all have separate lives and are separate people, family or not.
I'm just at a loss what to do lately... school's ending, creativity streaks don't always last, I'm still lonely and disorganized and scared, and everything or everyone that is important to me (down here, I guess) is either leaving me, going to leave me, or has changed beyond recognition. Scott suggests I get off this damn computer (I will-- I've already dueled, modded Dragonfayth, watched Ep. 7 of Hana Yori Dango, read people's LJs, and now, with this entry, posted one of my own) and go outside. I don't feel too well, but maybe relaxing outside will do me some good. It's either that or keep sitting here and work on my essays for mythology and Study Abroad.
On Dragonfayth again, would people be interested in me adding a profile pic mod? The pics would have to be hosted elsewhere (Photobucket, LJ, your own website) unless we restricted them to LJ-sized. Or is it not worth it, because we only have 6 members at the moment, and I'm the only author (you have to post a fic to be an author)?
...Yeah, anyway. I'm not in the mood for writing right now, but maybe I'll go outside for a bit and then watch some of Arabian Nights.
...But I just got harassed in a duel. Admittedly, I didn't have to chat with the guy in the first place. But he asked "asl" and I honestly replied: 20/f/USA. He said he was 21/m/ma, and I told him it was rare for older guys to be in the chat. And then he just decided to be a complete jerk and pervert and waste my time. He asked me where in the USA I was from, what I looked like, what my measurements were... yuck! I was there to duel, not to meet people! I could have mentioned I have a boyfriend, but that excuse doesn't fly with online pervs anymore; they just are like "I wanna chat wit u!" And he did say that, BTW. I told him I didn't have AIM or YIM, and after I beat his ass into the ground with a Summoned Skull (and then added him to my Ignore List), I reported him to Konami.
And I told the truth. I don't have AIM or YIM... I have Trillian! :P Bwahah. But all the same, I won't stop dueling. I need to buy (or get) a new Duel Pass soon ($14.99 for 150 Duels; basically 10 cents per duel). I would like to pre-arrange some duels with people I actually know and like... hopefully Mamono will get DSL at the end of the year, and I can send her the game and buy her a Duel Pass and we can duel the right way! :O!
Erin, Shaina, and their boyfriends, Elliot and Sam (respectively) all came to visit yesterday... I toured Shaina and Sam around CSUN, but since most of the campus was closed, we didn't get to see much. Shaina's thinking about coming to CSUN after she graduates from UCSC, because she wants to get her teaching credential (and be closer to Baba and Grandpa). Scott came over as well (we were planning to spend some time together as "the last week we'll probably see each other in a long, long time"), and we went to Islands over in Porter Ranch for dinner. T'was good (had a quesadilla). We also swung by Toys R' Us... I want the new DDR Extreme 2 (or Karaoke Revolution!) and... I was so tempted to buy some Duel Monsters/Yu-Gi-Oh TCG cards, but all they had was the Christmas packs, the Fire/Water boosters (forgot their appropriate names... Blaze-something and Something-from the Deep) and the new Cybernetic Revolution/Elemental Energy packs. Me? I want Dragon's Roar! :P Even if I have no one to duel against, so it's pointless. I don't need them.
Well afterwards, we went to Blockbuster; I grabbed Arabian Nights (from 200X), [so you can expect Lunar Nights, one of my old Sailormoon fanfiction ideas, to be resurrected soon] and Sam & Shaina grabbed this movie called "Stone Cold." Well as we were getting set up in the rec room to watch it later that night (after Erin and Elliott showed up) I noticed Erin had just gone through my food and had my crackers on her BF's lap.
And it all went to hell from there. I knew I never should have complained or so much as reached for the damn bag, but I was upset about a lot of things (everything seems to be falling apart all at once; I have to except the inevitability of my grandparents' death, Scott leaving, and me not having many friends/getting along with people down here, and being broke) I pretty much threw a hissy fit. After a few minutes of really uncomfortable silence (after being proven especially wrong by Erin, who normally makes arguments with more holes than Swiss Cheese), I decided I couldn't take it, and short of going to the computer and ignoring them, I went up to my room and started to clean. In the dark.
I felt like an idiot (not for cleaning in the dark) for what I'd said and done, but I didn't want to apologize because to me, Erin was still in the wrong for assuming that she can just take whatever the hell she wants out of our cupboards, just because they're HER grandparents too. Anyone with half a brain would know that two 70+ year-olds can't eat salty foods like Goldfish crackers, anyway! On top of that, I'm pretty sure I paid for those with my own money, and I hate seeing people go through my stuff like it's theirs and not realize that it's my money! Erin never gets me anything anyway, and she sure as hell will forget about mowing through half my bag of crackers when she had her own damn popcorn and other snacks.
Scott came upstairs, and we ended up talking for over an hour. We both missed the movie. And a lot of what was said was things I'd heard from Scott before, and I said things that I knew he'd heard before. You know, I have this archetype that I fit (or am supposed to fit) of me being loud, outgoing, courageous, etc. I'm not. Really-- I'm a very scared person with wavering self-esteem and next to no confidence. I guess when the situation calls for it, I can perform... or at least, pretend/act like I'm okay.
And in the end, what it got down to was, I was afraid I'd disappointed Scott with my immaturity again. He said the only thing that would ever disappoint him is if I'm not happy and I don't succeed. And funny enough, he quoted a line from DBZ, something Goku said to Gohan: "You have all the power you need. Just look inside yourself." I guess that is a really motivational, inspiring line... I wish I could keep it in mind. I wish I could tell myself more often, "I believe in myself" without it sounding hollow and fake.
I apologized to Erin this morning, but they hardly spoke to me up until they all left. We didn't even eat at the same table, and they pretty much got all the Matzo Brie without salmon (FYI: I hate fish). But there's no use being grumpy about it when it's not even my real problem. We all have separate lives and are separate people, family or not.
I'm just at a loss what to do lately... school's ending, creativity streaks don't always last, I'm still lonely and disorganized and scared, and everything or everyone that is important to me (down here, I guess) is either leaving me, going to leave me, or has changed beyond recognition. Scott suggests I get off this damn computer (I will-- I've already dueled, modded Dragonfayth, watched Ep. 7 of Hana Yori Dango, read people's LJs, and now, with this entry, posted one of my own) and go outside. I don't feel too well, but maybe relaxing outside will do me some good. It's either that or keep sitting here and work on my essays for mythology and Study Abroad.
On Dragonfayth again, would people be interested in me adding a profile pic mod? The pics would have to be hosted elsewhere (Photobucket, LJ, your own website) unless we restricted them to LJ-sized. Or is it not worth it, because we only have 6 members at the moment, and I'm the only author (you have to post a fic to be an author)?
...Yeah, anyway. I'm not in the mood for writing right now, but maybe I'll go outside for a bit and then watch some of Arabian Nights.
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-12 02:42 am (UTC)Stop thinking so much ^_^
And . . . keep you eye out for something really funny in the mail (I'm sure you'll appreciate it . . . in more ways than one XD).
no subject
Date: 2005-12-12 05:59 am (UTC)You're the umpteenth person to tell me I think too much, so I'm beginning to think there's some secret Mind Turn Off switch that I don't know about. Where is it? O_O
Oh, and mail-- email or snail mail? Funny? I like funny...