The Agent Report
Sep. 11th, 2004 08:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteThis is command agent Sweet, reporting in from Northridge, California to give you the latest update on my infiltration of the organization known only as the "CSUN Anime Club." The organization meets regularly on Friday evenings in the Engineering Auditorium, a small, but comfortable and air-conditioned room with plush chairs, swing-side tables, and a large viewing screen. During break time, a snack bar is also available for concession purposes. The meeting I infiltrated last night was the second of the semester, with no major announcements or events that I can recall. Unfortunately, my deep cover assignment required that I maintain a low profile, so I did not interact directly with any of the officers, nor obtain specific information.
The showing that evening included two episodes of "Phantom the Animation," about a pair of brainwashed killers who seek to find their memories-- though perhaps against their own will. The second animation was that of "Samurai Champloo," an amusing look at samurai times and jerky animation (think "Kid's Story" from Animatrix), accompanied by bizarre inserts of humor and inside jokes, many of which were sexual innuendos. Several AMVs were also shown, including a portion of "Tainted Donuts" and the infamous "A Total Waste of 6 Minutes and 35 Seconds." Certain accomplices in crime have thusly been "6-Minutes Devirginized." *smirk* The remaining titles to be voted on (presumably for a future meeting) were all titles that I have never heard of before; I will continue my assignment in order to learn more about this "Anime Club."
Lieutenant Sweet signing off.
...And Mer, hopping to the fore, to fill you in on all the weird blanks and ?_? expressions I gave you from that bizarre jargon-filled entry up there.
So yesterday I had Speech, Geography, and Journalism... Speech was a bit of a bore again, because though I signed up for a slot to make my "This Old Bag" speech, I got cut off-- three people before me. So Monday, I'll be making my speech. X_X Each time I've come with my bag (my MUDD Messenger Bag), it's been a pain because of how heavy and unbalanced it is, but hey, I've made it this far: one more day won't kill me. Friday's speeches personally were a lot cooler than Wednesday; no offense to the Wednesday speakers, really. But Wednesday, I was just insanely uncomfortable with how many people brought crosses or crucifixes to represent part of them (their past, present, or future). These people would talk about God and Him saving us and everything, for a good few minutes at least... and I felt extremely out of place. They weren't being preachy or anything, but... I just got the idea in my head that I should bring in a pentagram and say "Look, I'm a Wiccan, these are my beliefs..." but... that'd just be spiteful. So I won't. Friday, several speeches were interesting-- one guy is a LanEvo fan, and has a yellow LanEvo VIII, which I'm dying to see one of these days. He must have thought me extremely strange when I asked him what number he had; I keep forgetting that VIII is the only one to make it to the States unless you want to pay for import costs and changes to the vehicle. Another girl (who is extremely skinny and good looking) revealed a pair of huge sweatpants for her "past" item, and startled everyone in the class (and earning applause, too) by saying she used to be 160+ pounds! She's come a long way, and even if I don't know her, that's quite the achievement, and I'm pretty proud.
Geography was, as usual, mundane-- of course, Mr. Davidson tries to keep up with his plans on the syllabus, but he just can't seem to do it. He even admitted he's a highly disorganized teacher, and he refuses to let people turn in things early. -_-; He's left-handed too, so sometimes his handwriting is a bit hard to read... All the same, we have a test coming up next Friday, so I have to get around to reading Chapters 1 and 2 in my textbook.
Journalism... Geez, Ms. Henry is scary. I don't mean frightening scary, I just mean weird scary. That laugh of hers is SO damn grating, I can't emphasize that enough. But she teaches a lot, really-- it's just, her quirks are a bit much to handle at times. After class, I waited around a bit to meet with her and talk about the rewrites I need to make for my media notebook entry; I have to get around to that eventually (soon), so I don't fall behind. Besides, we're going to be getting our second media notebook assignment soon. X_X I just want to get it out of my way, but still maintain a decent level of analysis and understanding.
After that, I headed to the Oviatt to try and find some books on the Wars of the Roses; I'm not sure what exactly it was that started it (probably the fact that the YGO game "Duelists of the Roses" is the item for my TOB speech for the "present"), but I read what I had of The Rose Chronicles again, including the major chunks I have of Chapters 2 and 3. I still need to formulate a sequence of events though, as I did with WDKY and the sequel (*smirk* You guys are gonna hate me...). I do need to keep playing the game though, if FFX-2 and SO3 don't distract me. Still have to beat Mako...
I managed to find "The Writer's Guide to Everyday Life in the Middle Ages," along with the long-sought after "Description" book as part of the Fiction Writer's series, and a nice book on the Wars of the Roses themselves. The library's really not that hard to navigate, but of course, they didn't have a demagnetizer available when I checked out my books, so I ended up beeping everywhere I went. -_-
Post-library, I decided to swing by the Student Union game center for a game of DDR-- especially considering the last time I'd played, I was on the left side, with a faulty pad (either that or crappy freeze sensitivity). I was waiting for Scott (who was supposed to give me a call after he got out of class at 12:45), but so far, no word from him-- so when I ran into him (not literally) before I got to the USU, I thought it highly ironic. We headed to the USU together, and I got to tell him about DDR and the Bemani series-- plus I made him swear not to laugh as I DDRd in a skirt. Yes, a skirt. Me, in a skirt. -_- Look, it was the only thing that matched with my yellow halter top, and he asked me to wear yellow because of some assignment for his photography class, and... X_X More on that later.
Now, this wasn't any ordinary skirt. Nope, it was my Nikki's Denim one, which isn't a skirt so much as a big piece of denim with Velcro on it. I call it my "Chain Gang Anzu" skirt, since I could have done a more "feminine" Anzu for cosplay back at Fanime 2004. But despite my so-called "bubble butt," this skirt doesn't always want to stay on me-- unless I have it very low on my hips, which is pretty embarrassing, IMHO. But I pulled it off-- leaving my hose below the skirt line, and making sure my halter wasn't tied too high up. I can't imagine what I must have looked like DDRing, but for once, I passed all 3 stages on the Game Room machine (Break Down, Saints Go Marching, and Drop the Bomb: System SF Mix). Plus, they're only 75 cents, and they have memory card capability. Edits, here I come! That is, once I get my PS2 modded and I get DDREx Imported... Such grandiose plans I have, ne?
Post-DDR, I managed to swing a game of SCII, but of course, I just don't have the finger layout for arcade games, so I'd best stick to the PS2 version if I want to play SCII that badly-- which I don't, really. After that, we headed back toward the other buildings in the center of the campus; Scott needed to get his camera, so we went into the basement of one of the Science buildings, which I'd never been inside before. It's pretty freaky down there, actually-- and apparently they have several huge turquoise refrigerators that they keep animal experiments in. Eeew...
We sat outside in the area between Manzanita and Sierra Center, just sort of talking. He looked at my uber-bad photos of New York, and while he agreed with me (*wince*) that they were sort of lousy shots, Rite Aid was at fault for cutting several of them incorrectly. Damn you, Rite Aid, DAMN YOU!!! So yeah, now if I ever decide to take 35mm shots again, I'll take them to another developer. Heck, maybe Scott can teach me how to develop my own film. I've never seen a darkroom before (then again, maybe that's the point).
He actually took some pictures of my gaudy plastic rainbow-bead bracelet-- it was a nice splash of bright color to my otherwise duo-tone outfit, and plus it's my own "sorta subtle" way of saying I'm bi and proud of it. It's not exactly the right rainbow colors, nor "official" Pride gear, but all the same... Besides, it's cute. Tacky, but cute. Scott actually had to position my hand for me, which was weird but fluffy in its own right. I thought it was bizarre that he wanted to take pictures of me at all, so I was rather self-conscious around him all day long...
Somewhere after that, we decided to go see a movie-- but not your run-of-the-mill "in theater" flick-- nope, we decided to see "28 Days Later" at the library. Hardly the kind of dark, seamy environment one would hope for. But it was a nice change from the theater in Hollywood, when nothing actually HAPPENED, but the movie was great nonetheless. 28 Days Later was decidedly freaky, and as Scott mentioned, low budget. My stomach chose to grumble quite loudly and inopportunely during the movie, several times-- which was SO humiliating... Being broke and without food meant that I just had to grin and bear it, since I wasn't about to leave in the middle of the movie. So I settled for gum, but it started to disintegrate or melt or something in my mouth, and tasted rather weird after a while. So if that didn't kill my appetite, then the gore from the movie did. Lots of zombies vomiting blood and all. Lovely stuff, that.
By the time the movie was over, it was near 4:00-- surprising, since I'd gotten out of class at 12, spent about 30 minutes in the library, 30 at the arcade, and 30 or so with Scott outside taking pictures. Being hungry, Scott seemed okay with leaving campus to grab a bite to eat before the anime club met up at 6:30p-- that's what I think is fantastic about him, is that he isn't the type to automatically brand all anime fans as geeks. :) He likes DBZ, himself! Plus he's a huge comic book fan~!
Scott was nice enough to treat me to In-N-Out (choir: hallelujah! hallelujah!), which I hadn't had since... what, the tourney? Probably. It's on Balboa and Lassen, which isn't close, but isn't far, either. Thank god for Scott and his car. We walked around the long way (to Prairie) off campus to his car, randomly conversing and such along the way. We couldn't decide on anything at first, but once he mentioned In-N-Out, I was all ears. :)
We enjoyed a yummy meal (In choosing between a Coke and a Vanilla shake, I got a shake... and you know me with a vanilla shake. *smirk*) and then headed back to campus after 7:00, parking closer to the USU this time around, so we had less of a distance to walk. The campus is pretty interesting at night, when everything's dark and sort of abandoned. It's scary in that there are still so many places under construction; skeletons of buildings, barely lit up, and almost completely shadowed. The thought actually reminds me of Ground Zero... yeah, you all know, today's 9/11...
That's an entry for another time though. I'll eventually get around to posting my photos on Snapshot; I need to figure out iFrames or layers in DMX or something. Such a nice layout... I don't want it to go to waste...
Anywho, so as I reported above, the Anime Club meeting wasn't that bad, but I didn't exactly get loads of information or introduce myself. The room is infinitely more comfortable than any space Anime FX ever occupied (save the Jack Adams auditorium), but of course, there are your stereotypical people-- the loud people, the rude people... unfortunately, there doesn't appear to be a Jimbo in house to tell those others to shut the heck up. Darn. Jimbo, send clones.
Scott had to duck out a few times during the meeting to answer phone calls or somesuch, but he stuck around through the whole thing... and by the "end" of the meeting around 10, we both left to find a water fountain, since every building was locked up. We had to go all the way towards the Art Buildings, across North University, to find one, but it was a neat walk nonetheless. We talked about crafts and such, and I learned that Scott actually made some pretty creative small-scale models, like of Yoda's house on Dagobah, from Star Wars! Me, I like to work on a larger scale, so I was telling him about cosplay, and how maybe if I try hard enough, I can be Sophia Esteed from SO3 next Fanime. I mean, the fem Kaiba was a good idea, but... X_X I don't think I could pull it off. But I've already got an established trend of Star Ocean characters (okay, Rena), but it'd be neat to keep going. I could easily be Sophia, if my hair got long enough by next May!
We grabbed our stuff after watching a few more AMVs (I have a much larger and varied stash than the club has... so hopefully if Scott comes over next week, we can watch some of them. I wish I knew how to hook up the computer to the TV, though) and headed back to the car-- and of course, promptly got lost trying to find my house (again). Stupid streets are so confusing, because sometimes they go through, and other times they don't! Well, eventually, we found our way to Wystone, but I didn't want Scott to pull up right near my door, like last time, in case Grandpa set up camp in the den again and would peer through the blinds and wait for me to come in.
Fuck. Apparently WDKY11 has been scrambled somehow, and now a good chunk of the beginning has been blasted into space. Uhm... I'm going to see if I have a backup copy anywhere, but if not, sorry... this is why 11 might take a bit longer... I'm Virus Scanning right now.
So we stopped about halfway down the block, but of course, neither of us were too keen on leaving just yet. I don't know how it happened, but we ended up talking for what had to be several hours. It's one of those things that, while it happened only recently, it's hard to remember the acute details, because there were more sensations and feelings than really memorable words.
I got to see the tattoo he'd told me about; the one he got in Tibet. It's on his upper right arm, which I guess is kind of clichéd, but then, who gives a damn about clichéd locations for tattoos, anyway? I sure don't. When I first saw it, I thought it kind of looked like a geometric pair of dolphins swimming around one another, but the shape has special significance to him-- his family. I found it fascinating that would otherwise be a grouping of odd shapes are something else entirely to him. He has another tattoo on his hand, but if it's supposed to be something in particular, I couldn't make it out. All I know is that it's blue. o_O
Well, it was weird, the train of thought we got to talking about-- like I said, we have a lot in common, but a lot is different, too. Pretty much, he's graduating this coming year, or so. And despite the great atmosphere pretty much every undergraduate agrees college life gives you, he wants out. Not into the "real working" world, per se. Not even out of backwater (compared to LA) Los Angeles or another big city. He wants out of California, out of the United States. Like me, he's thinking about teaching English in Asia-- maybe Japan or Thailand. I have great respect for him already, total admiration, and now, this in common.
But of course, it's scary. I hate getting into things when I know they'll end badly. But it's like, how can you determine when you're really "into" something and it's too late, or not? Probably, once you start thinking that kind of thing, it's already too late to go back and change things. He doesn't want pets or, as I brought up (foolishly), a serious relationship. Why would you want something to hold you back, something to stop you from being random and carefree? Like I said, it was a stupid thing for me to bring up, but Scott's a smart guy, and he obviously knew why I did. I shouldn't be making rash assumptions or anything, no matter what he said before. We're "going out," but we're not exclusive or boyfriend and girlfriend, I guess. Yeah, so I shouldn't get my hopes up or get too emotionally attached... >_< Damn me, being an Aries. Or whatever it is, somehow, just typing that makes it feel all futile anyway.
Who knows? You want to hear futile, I have a confession to make. Ever since Michelle died on July 20th, 1996, I've put myself on a timer. She was born January 21st, 1977. She was only 19 and a few months when she died, so after a bit of math and some rounding (21st to the 20th), I decided that if I could make it past November 20th of the year I turned 19 (that is to say, this year: 2004), then I would live life according to my rules, my wants, my needs. I'd let myself go a little bit more, and try to have more fun, but still be grateful, respectful, and dedicated to everyone I love. It's a bit morbid, I know... it's not like I have cancer or anything. But if I die before November 20th, you'll all know that I just wasn't meant to outlast my sister. I'm not meant to come out of her shadow, or live her life.
But if I don't?
I'm going to party like there's no tomorrow, anyway. ^_^ Scott's birthday is the 21st of November. Who knows where we'll be at that point, but there's a demi-promise between us that we'll celebrate big-style, for the both of us. I'd like that-- having something to look forward to, instead of something to be afraid of.
Well, eventually we got off the depressing topic of doom, or something like that, and Scott was sort of playing with my arms, just moving them around and bringing me closer to him. And stupid, stupid impulsive girl that I am, I kissed him.
>_< !!! GAAAAAAAAH! Bad Mer, bad, bad, bad Mer! (Anzu took over, I swear.) See, the great thing about Scott is that he never seems to get upset. Even when he's talking about the worst traffic on his way home to Hollywood, he's calm and relaxed. Blame it on Tibetan training, Buddhist beliefs, or just his personality. He's a calm, sweet, always-smiling guy. And he was smiling when I kissed him, but he didn't kiss me back. So the first thing I do is spring off him and go to the other side of the car, trying to hide my tomato face (Katia, you know what I mean. Remember the time my face blended in with the ROTC Coke machine? Yeah, that color red).
And he says that he'd rather take it slow, and... yeah. I mean, I'm one of those airheads I guess, who doesn't know when she's really flirting, or just being silly. Or being "me," as it were. You know, lots of inside jokes and stuff like that. But I guess I was, and Scott admitted that he'd contemplated for THREE whole days before asking me to the movie. O_O Wow. I'm like, insanely flattered by that. I guess my self-esteem just isn't at the levels yet where I can honestly believe someone would spend that much time thinking about me. And asking ME out. o_O I'm hardly special...
Honesty is my policy, so while I spent a good half hour being insanely embarrassed, it was relieving to hear that he too, had been unsure about the whole thing. I was terrified that he was humoring me or whatever, and that my like was entirely one-sided. He really does like me, but I'm not going to take that for granted... I only know too well that doing that just rips things from your life, and screws everything up. You lose everything the second you start to take it for granted. (Seto Kaiba has thusly taken over my brain. Shoo, you big meanie, and go back to haunting Kysra and Harley!)
So he admitted that there was a lot of UST (if you don't know what that means, go to a fic dictionary and look it up) between us-- or at least, on his end. What a relieving thing to hear! Wow. I mean, during In-N-Out, we both mentioned past relationships and stuff, and it's just screamingly obvious that he's experienced. That's a good thing-- I did the "relationships with virgins" thing, and they never panned out. Too weird. Then again, someone who's like, Adonis, Sex God Extraordinaire is pretty intimidating. I'm better off NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT if I can help it.
Key word being "if." (I'm so bad. BAD BAD BAD)
Well anyway, long story short (too late), around 12:45a or so, we finally decided to part ways. Scott was nice enough to help me get all my things out of the backseat-- including my too-heavy messenger bag and my library books. He actually carried my library books (all 3 of them. Not that heavy, but it's the thought that counts) several times during the day. ^_^ Quite sweet... (he might steal my name from me, darnit!) And on the subject of carrying, there was this one time when we got onto the subject of weight. It's a touchy subject with 99.9% of women, myself included... though me not as much as others I know. But I never should have said anything at all, because Scott tries to guess my weight, and he started out REALLY low! Like, 75 was his lowest guess! >_< !! I mean, I'm considered underweight, but I'm not Mary Kate Olsen, here! (Okay, even MKO wasn't that bad...) Honest truth? I'm around 96 lbs. I'm 5'2", give or take a few fractions of an inch. Whatever!!! Scott picked me up and held me for about two minutes before making another guess, so when he was off (again), I felt compelled (though highly embarrassed) to tell him the truth. He seemed proud that he was getting stronger. ^^;
Back to the early morning on Wystone... so anyway, earlier we'd been looking and talking about stars, but with all the lights on campus, it's pretty hard to make out any distinct planets or constellations. But on Wystone, the street lights are almost all shadowed by giant eucalyptus trees, so it was much easier to see the stars, and it was really beautiful. So I'd gotten about three steps from him and was gawking at the sky when he called me back to where he was standing, and I looked at him and *blink* He kissed me.
<3_<3 ~*swoon*~
I went home in a big, fuzzy, WAFF cloud. Of course, being so late, Baba and Grandpa were asleep, so about five minutes after Scott left, I found myself trapped outside. No key. No open door, like I expected. >_< I had to ring the doorbell and call Grandpa to let me in. How embarrassing... (gotta love how it all stacks up). So next time (goddess willing), I'll remember to bring my key.
Or maybe like Sean, I'll learn to pick locks.
All of this and more on my to-do list...
The showing that evening included two episodes of "Phantom the Animation," about a pair of brainwashed killers who seek to find their memories-- though perhaps against their own will. The second animation was that of "Samurai Champloo," an amusing look at samurai times and jerky animation (think "Kid's Story" from Animatrix), accompanied by bizarre inserts of humor and inside jokes, many of which were sexual innuendos. Several AMVs were also shown, including a portion of "Tainted Donuts" and the infamous "A Total Waste of 6 Minutes and 35 Seconds." Certain accomplices in crime have thusly been "6-Minutes Devirginized." *smirk* The remaining titles to be voted on (presumably for a future meeting) were all titles that I have never heard of before; I will continue my assignment in order to learn more about this "Anime Club."
Lieutenant Sweet signing off.
...And Mer, hopping to the fore, to fill you in on all the weird blanks and ?_? expressions I gave you from that bizarre jargon-filled entry up there.
So yesterday I had Speech, Geography, and Journalism... Speech was a bit of a bore again, because though I signed up for a slot to make my "This Old Bag" speech, I got cut off-- three people before me. So Monday, I'll be making my speech. X_X Each time I've come with my bag (my MUDD Messenger Bag), it's been a pain because of how heavy and unbalanced it is, but hey, I've made it this far: one more day won't kill me. Friday's speeches personally were a lot cooler than Wednesday; no offense to the Wednesday speakers, really. But Wednesday, I was just insanely uncomfortable with how many people brought crosses or crucifixes to represent part of them (their past, present, or future). These people would talk about God and Him saving us and everything, for a good few minutes at least... and I felt extremely out of place. They weren't being preachy or anything, but... I just got the idea in my head that I should bring in a pentagram and say "Look, I'm a Wiccan, these are my beliefs..." but... that'd just be spiteful. So I won't. Friday, several speeches were interesting-- one guy is a LanEvo fan, and has a yellow LanEvo VIII, which I'm dying to see one of these days. He must have thought me extremely strange when I asked him what number he had; I keep forgetting that VIII is the only one to make it to the States unless you want to pay for import costs and changes to the vehicle. Another girl (who is extremely skinny and good looking) revealed a pair of huge sweatpants for her "past" item, and startled everyone in the class (and earning applause, too) by saying she used to be 160+ pounds! She's come a long way, and even if I don't know her, that's quite the achievement, and I'm pretty proud.
Geography was, as usual, mundane-- of course, Mr. Davidson tries to keep up with his plans on the syllabus, but he just can't seem to do it. He even admitted he's a highly disorganized teacher, and he refuses to let people turn in things early. -_-; He's left-handed too, so sometimes his handwriting is a bit hard to read... All the same, we have a test coming up next Friday, so I have to get around to reading Chapters 1 and 2 in my textbook.
Journalism... Geez, Ms. Henry is scary. I don't mean frightening scary, I just mean weird scary. That laugh of hers is SO damn grating, I can't emphasize that enough. But she teaches a lot, really-- it's just, her quirks are a bit much to handle at times. After class, I waited around a bit to meet with her and talk about the rewrites I need to make for my media notebook entry; I have to get around to that eventually (soon), so I don't fall behind. Besides, we're going to be getting our second media notebook assignment soon. X_X I just want to get it out of my way, but still maintain a decent level of analysis and understanding.
After that, I headed to the Oviatt to try and find some books on the Wars of the Roses; I'm not sure what exactly it was that started it (probably the fact that the YGO game "Duelists of the Roses" is the item for my TOB speech for the "present"), but I read what I had of The Rose Chronicles again, including the major chunks I have of Chapters 2 and 3. I still need to formulate a sequence of events though, as I did with WDKY and the sequel (*smirk* You guys are gonna hate me...). I do need to keep playing the game though, if FFX-2 and SO3 don't distract me. Still have to beat Mako...
I managed to find "The Writer's Guide to Everyday Life in the Middle Ages," along with the long-sought after "Description" book as part of the Fiction Writer's series, and a nice book on the Wars of the Roses themselves. The library's really not that hard to navigate, but of course, they didn't have a demagnetizer available when I checked out my books, so I ended up beeping everywhere I went. -_-
Post-library, I decided to swing by the Student Union game center for a game of DDR-- especially considering the last time I'd played, I was on the left side, with a faulty pad (either that or crappy freeze sensitivity). I was waiting for Scott (who was supposed to give me a call after he got out of class at 12:45), but so far, no word from him-- so when I ran into him (not literally) before I got to the USU, I thought it highly ironic. We headed to the USU together, and I got to tell him about DDR and the Bemani series-- plus I made him swear not to laugh as I DDRd in a skirt. Yes, a skirt. Me, in a skirt. -_- Look, it was the only thing that matched with my yellow halter top, and he asked me to wear yellow because of some assignment for his photography class, and... X_X More on that later.
Now, this wasn't any ordinary skirt. Nope, it was my Nikki's Denim one, which isn't a skirt so much as a big piece of denim with Velcro on it. I call it my "Chain Gang Anzu" skirt, since I could have done a more "feminine" Anzu for cosplay back at Fanime 2004. But despite my so-called "bubble butt," this skirt doesn't always want to stay on me-- unless I have it very low on my hips, which is pretty embarrassing, IMHO. But I pulled it off-- leaving my hose below the skirt line, and making sure my halter wasn't tied too high up. I can't imagine what I must have looked like DDRing, but for once, I passed all 3 stages on the Game Room machine (Break Down, Saints Go Marching, and Drop the Bomb: System SF Mix). Plus, they're only 75 cents, and they have memory card capability. Edits, here I come! That is, once I get my PS2 modded and I get DDREx Imported... Such grandiose plans I have, ne?
Post-DDR, I managed to swing a game of SCII, but of course, I just don't have the finger layout for arcade games, so I'd best stick to the PS2 version if I want to play SCII that badly-- which I don't, really. After that, we headed back toward the other buildings in the center of the campus; Scott needed to get his camera, so we went into the basement of one of the Science buildings, which I'd never been inside before. It's pretty freaky down there, actually-- and apparently they have several huge turquoise refrigerators that they keep animal experiments in. Eeew...
We sat outside in the area between Manzanita and Sierra Center, just sort of talking. He looked at my uber-bad photos of New York, and while he agreed with me (*wince*) that they were sort of lousy shots, Rite Aid was at fault for cutting several of them incorrectly. Damn you, Rite Aid, DAMN YOU!!! So yeah, now if I ever decide to take 35mm shots again, I'll take them to another developer. Heck, maybe Scott can teach me how to develop my own film. I've never seen a darkroom before (then again, maybe that's the point).
He actually took some pictures of my gaudy plastic rainbow-bead bracelet-- it was a nice splash of bright color to my otherwise duo-tone outfit, and plus it's my own "sorta subtle" way of saying I'm bi and proud of it. It's not exactly the right rainbow colors, nor "official" Pride gear, but all the same... Besides, it's cute. Tacky, but cute. Scott actually had to position my hand for me, which was weird but fluffy in its own right. I thought it was bizarre that he wanted to take pictures of me at all, so I was rather self-conscious around him all day long...
Somewhere after that, we decided to go see a movie-- but not your run-of-the-mill "in theater" flick-- nope, we decided to see "28 Days Later" at the library. Hardly the kind of dark, seamy environment one would hope for. But it was a nice change from the theater in Hollywood, when nothing actually HAPPENED, but the movie was great nonetheless. 28 Days Later was decidedly freaky, and as Scott mentioned, low budget. My stomach chose to grumble quite loudly and inopportunely during the movie, several times-- which was SO humiliating... Being broke and without food meant that I just had to grin and bear it, since I wasn't about to leave in the middle of the movie. So I settled for gum, but it started to disintegrate or melt or something in my mouth, and tasted rather weird after a while. So if that didn't kill my appetite, then the gore from the movie did. Lots of zombies vomiting blood and all. Lovely stuff, that.
By the time the movie was over, it was near 4:00-- surprising, since I'd gotten out of class at 12, spent about 30 minutes in the library, 30 at the arcade, and 30 or so with Scott outside taking pictures. Being hungry, Scott seemed okay with leaving campus to grab a bite to eat before the anime club met up at 6:30p-- that's what I think is fantastic about him, is that he isn't the type to automatically brand all anime fans as geeks. :) He likes DBZ, himself! Plus he's a huge comic book fan~!
Scott was nice enough to treat me to In-N-Out (choir: hallelujah! hallelujah!), which I hadn't had since... what, the tourney? Probably. It's on Balboa and Lassen, which isn't close, but isn't far, either. Thank god for Scott and his car. We walked around the long way (to Prairie) off campus to his car, randomly conversing and such along the way. We couldn't decide on anything at first, but once he mentioned In-N-Out, I was all ears. :)
We enjoyed a yummy meal (In choosing between a Coke and a Vanilla shake, I got a shake... and you know me with a vanilla shake. *smirk*) and then headed back to campus after 7:00, parking closer to the USU this time around, so we had less of a distance to walk. The campus is pretty interesting at night, when everything's dark and sort of abandoned. It's scary in that there are still so many places under construction; skeletons of buildings, barely lit up, and almost completely shadowed. The thought actually reminds me of Ground Zero... yeah, you all know, today's 9/11...
That's an entry for another time though. I'll eventually get around to posting my photos on Snapshot; I need to figure out iFrames or layers in DMX or something. Such a nice layout... I don't want it to go to waste...
Anywho, so as I reported above, the Anime Club meeting wasn't that bad, but I didn't exactly get loads of information or introduce myself. The room is infinitely more comfortable than any space Anime FX ever occupied (save the Jack Adams auditorium), but of course, there are your stereotypical people-- the loud people, the rude people... unfortunately, there doesn't appear to be a Jimbo in house to tell those others to shut the heck up. Darn. Jimbo, send clones.
Scott had to duck out a few times during the meeting to answer phone calls or somesuch, but he stuck around through the whole thing... and by the "end" of the meeting around 10, we both left to find a water fountain, since every building was locked up. We had to go all the way towards the Art Buildings, across North University, to find one, but it was a neat walk nonetheless. We talked about crafts and such, and I learned that Scott actually made some pretty creative small-scale models, like of Yoda's house on Dagobah, from Star Wars! Me, I like to work on a larger scale, so I was telling him about cosplay, and how maybe if I try hard enough, I can be Sophia Esteed from SO3 next Fanime. I mean, the fem Kaiba was a good idea, but... X_X I don't think I could pull it off. But I've already got an established trend of Star Ocean characters (okay, Rena), but it'd be neat to keep going. I could easily be Sophia, if my hair got long enough by next May!
We grabbed our stuff after watching a few more AMVs (I have a much larger and varied stash than the club has... so hopefully if Scott comes over next week, we can watch some of them. I wish I knew how to hook up the computer to the TV, though) and headed back to the car-- and of course, promptly got lost trying to find my house (again). Stupid streets are so confusing, because sometimes they go through, and other times they don't! Well, eventually, we found our way to Wystone, but I didn't want Scott to pull up right near my door, like last time, in case Grandpa set up camp in the den again and would peer through the blinds and wait for me to come in.
Fuck. Apparently WDKY11 has been scrambled somehow, and now a good chunk of the beginning has been blasted into space. Uhm... I'm going to see if I have a backup copy anywhere, but if not, sorry... this is why 11 might take a bit longer... I'm Virus Scanning right now.
So we stopped about halfway down the block, but of course, neither of us were too keen on leaving just yet. I don't know how it happened, but we ended up talking for what had to be several hours. It's one of those things that, while it happened only recently, it's hard to remember the acute details, because there were more sensations and feelings than really memorable words.
I got to see the tattoo he'd told me about; the one he got in Tibet. It's on his upper right arm, which I guess is kind of clichéd, but then, who gives a damn about clichéd locations for tattoos, anyway? I sure don't. When I first saw it, I thought it kind of looked like a geometric pair of dolphins swimming around one another, but the shape has special significance to him-- his family. I found it fascinating that would otherwise be a grouping of odd shapes are something else entirely to him. He has another tattoo on his hand, but if it's supposed to be something in particular, I couldn't make it out. All I know is that it's blue. o_O
Well, it was weird, the train of thought we got to talking about-- like I said, we have a lot in common, but a lot is different, too. Pretty much, he's graduating this coming year, or so. And despite the great atmosphere pretty much every undergraduate agrees college life gives you, he wants out. Not into the "real working" world, per se. Not even out of backwater (compared to LA) Los Angeles or another big city. He wants out of California, out of the United States. Like me, he's thinking about teaching English in Asia-- maybe Japan or Thailand. I have great respect for him already, total admiration, and now, this in common.
But of course, it's scary. I hate getting into things when I know they'll end badly. But it's like, how can you determine when you're really "into" something and it's too late, or not? Probably, once you start thinking that kind of thing, it's already too late to go back and change things. He doesn't want pets or, as I brought up (foolishly), a serious relationship. Why would you want something to hold you back, something to stop you from being random and carefree? Like I said, it was a stupid thing for me to bring up, but Scott's a smart guy, and he obviously knew why I did. I shouldn't be making rash assumptions or anything, no matter what he said before. We're "going out," but we're not exclusive or boyfriend and girlfriend, I guess. Yeah, so I shouldn't get my hopes up or get too emotionally attached... >_< Damn me, being an Aries. Or whatever it is, somehow, just typing that makes it feel all futile anyway.
Who knows? You want to hear futile, I have a confession to make. Ever since Michelle died on July 20th, 1996, I've put myself on a timer. She was born January 21st, 1977. She was only 19 and a few months when she died, so after a bit of math and some rounding (21st to the 20th), I decided that if I could make it past November 20th of the year I turned 19 (that is to say, this year: 2004), then I would live life according to my rules, my wants, my needs. I'd let myself go a little bit more, and try to have more fun, but still be grateful, respectful, and dedicated to everyone I love. It's a bit morbid, I know... it's not like I have cancer or anything. But if I die before November 20th, you'll all know that I just wasn't meant to outlast my sister. I'm not meant to come out of her shadow, or live her life.
But if I don't?
I'm going to party like there's no tomorrow, anyway. ^_^ Scott's birthday is the 21st of November. Who knows where we'll be at that point, but there's a demi-promise between us that we'll celebrate big-style, for the both of us. I'd like that-- having something to look forward to, instead of something to be afraid of.
Well, eventually we got off the depressing topic of doom, or something like that, and Scott was sort of playing with my arms, just moving them around and bringing me closer to him. And stupid, stupid impulsive girl that I am, I kissed him.
>_< !!! GAAAAAAAAH! Bad Mer, bad, bad, bad Mer! (Anzu took over, I swear.) See, the great thing about Scott is that he never seems to get upset. Even when he's talking about the worst traffic on his way home to Hollywood, he's calm and relaxed. Blame it on Tibetan training, Buddhist beliefs, or just his personality. He's a calm, sweet, always-smiling guy. And he was smiling when I kissed him, but he didn't kiss me back. So the first thing I do is spring off him and go to the other side of the car, trying to hide my tomato face (Katia, you know what I mean. Remember the time my face blended in with the ROTC Coke machine? Yeah, that color red).
And he says that he'd rather take it slow, and... yeah. I mean, I'm one of those airheads I guess, who doesn't know when she's really flirting, or just being silly. Or being "me," as it were. You know, lots of inside jokes and stuff like that. But I guess I was, and Scott admitted that he'd contemplated for THREE whole days before asking me to the movie. O_O Wow. I'm like, insanely flattered by that. I guess my self-esteem just isn't at the levels yet where I can honestly believe someone would spend that much time thinking about me. And asking ME out. o_O I'm hardly special...
Honesty is my policy, so while I spent a good half hour being insanely embarrassed, it was relieving to hear that he too, had been unsure about the whole thing. I was terrified that he was humoring me or whatever, and that my like was entirely one-sided. He really does like me, but I'm not going to take that for granted... I only know too well that doing that just rips things from your life, and screws everything up. You lose everything the second you start to take it for granted. (Seto Kaiba has thusly taken over my brain. Shoo, you big meanie, and go back to haunting Kysra and Harley!)
So he admitted that there was a lot of UST (if you don't know what that means, go to a fic dictionary and look it up) between us-- or at least, on his end. What a relieving thing to hear! Wow. I mean, during In-N-Out, we both mentioned past relationships and stuff, and it's just screamingly obvious that he's experienced. That's a good thing-- I did the "relationships with virgins" thing, and they never panned out. Too weird. Then again, someone who's like, Adonis, Sex God Extraordinaire is pretty intimidating. I'm better off NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT if I can help it.
Key word being "if." (I'm so bad. BAD BAD BAD)
Well anyway, long story short (too late), around 12:45a or so, we finally decided to part ways. Scott was nice enough to help me get all my things out of the backseat-- including my too-heavy messenger bag and my library books. He actually carried my library books (all 3 of them. Not that heavy, but it's the thought that counts) several times during the day. ^_^ Quite sweet... (he might steal my name from me, darnit!) And on the subject of carrying, there was this one time when we got onto the subject of weight. It's a touchy subject with 99.9% of women, myself included... though me not as much as others I know. But I never should have said anything at all, because Scott tries to guess my weight, and he started out REALLY low! Like, 75 was his lowest guess! >_< !! I mean, I'm considered underweight, but I'm not Mary Kate Olsen, here! (Okay, even MKO wasn't that bad...) Honest truth? I'm around 96 lbs. I'm 5'2", give or take a few fractions of an inch. Whatever!!! Scott picked me up and held me for about two minutes before making another guess, so when he was off (again), I felt compelled (though highly embarrassed) to tell him the truth. He seemed proud that he was getting stronger. ^^;
Back to the early morning on Wystone... so anyway, earlier we'd been looking and talking about stars, but with all the lights on campus, it's pretty hard to make out any distinct planets or constellations. But on Wystone, the street lights are almost all shadowed by giant eucalyptus trees, so it was much easier to see the stars, and it was really beautiful. So I'd gotten about three steps from him and was gawking at the sky when he called me back to where he was standing, and I looked at him and *blink* He kissed me.
<3_<3 ~*swoon*~
I went home in a big, fuzzy, WAFF cloud. Of course, being so late, Baba and Grandpa were asleep, so about five minutes after Scott left, I found myself trapped outside. No key. No open door, like I expected. >_< I had to ring the doorbell and call Grandpa to let me in. How embarrassing... (gotta love how it all stacks up). So next time (goddess willing), I'll remember to bring my key.
Or maybe like Sean, I'll learn to pick locks.
All of this and more on my to-do list...
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Date: 2004-09-12 03:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-12 07:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-12 09:52 pm (UTC)Skiddling along...
^^ If you need tips/help/info on Duelist of the Roses, I've beaten it ten times over so I know pretty much everything about it. ^^; Not to brag.