Me-ow?

Something tells me I had another entry started before I left to go shopping (Target and Rite-Aid), but the stupid plug that the surge protector is connected to (the one that has ALL the computer equipment plugged into it) popped out (about a half a millimeter!) and everything went kaput! I don't remember what said entry may or may not have been about, and if I did in fact have one, Semagic didn't save a draft. So, whatever.

( Everyone always said I was a cat in a past life or something... )

Is this for real? Gives to meaning to the song titles "Burning the Floor" or "Light my Fire." I mean seriously.

Gaah, I'm so lethargic and tired and sleepy right now... I don't want to do anything but sleep, but I have work in less than an hour, and if I take a nap now I know I'll just be screwing myself over. Dammit, why isn't the caffeine in my Midol taking effect?

Ugh, okay, short nap, but I've come to this conclusion-- I'm feeling all icky, so if I can't miss work altogether (bitch manager "A" had to give me the closing shift!) then I will just tell them flat out at the start of my shift that I don't feel well, and if I start feeling worse, I will go home.)

Blah, see, another excuse for not entering icontest communities this week... feeling icky = no inspiration. *sigh* At least I might write some fics, though. Where does all the time (and money) go?

Well I won't cry for yesterday...

I'm disappointed. It seems as though "C," that guy I was sort-of-kind-of crushing on at work (all the while well aware that I Shouldn't Be, and I Have a Very Nice Boyfriend) is merely Mike 2.0. Who's Mike? Well Amber knows full well who he as, as do a few others on this list... anyone who read my journal Way Back When knows who I mean. In a nutshell, Mike's a nice guy, but all he ever seemed to think about was Sex, Sex, and More Sex. He seemed sensitive, kind, and funny-- but really, he was all about sex. I like him and still talk to him from time to time, but I do somewhat regret that my first time was with him and not someone I genuinely was SURE I was in love with (he was one of those "wrong reasons" kind of guys), blah blah...

It just upsets me that another guy seems so much like him, when I really thought I was escaping crushing on those types of guys (even if Scott is, coincidentally, a Scorpio just like Mike). See, "C" was the kind who seemed playful and flirty, but not suggestive or weird-- he wasn't sending off any "warning! Mike-wannabe!" alerts in my brain. But today, he seemed openly flirty with another female co-worker, suggesting that they go dancing at a club sometime. I could have just brushed it off as the joke said female co-worker took it as (I don't even know why I'm getting worked up about it enough to write about it here, but here I am...), but for some reason, it just hurt. It could just be me that thought of what he did before as flirting-- I never mentioned it to him one way or the other, but I am friendly to him (moreso than I am to the other male jerks on staff, but on par with the other nice guys).

I guess I'm just bummed that this is the kind of character he is, because I was hoping more from him. I wanted to be friends with someone, and I guess even overly-flirty guys are the wrong people to make friends with. I don't even know if this is all just me blowing things out of proportion, or seeing things "colored" due to being on the red... who knows? I'm not going to lean one way or another with "C," because I don't know what kind of a person he really is, or what he wants. (There was a "possible" warning earlier; I can't remember exactly what was said-- something about guys having the expectation to get laid on prom. I said that since it was such a stereotypical expectation, maybe that's why it doesn't usually happen-- "C" and one other guy countered by saying something like they DID (get laid), lots of times... I might have misheard though-- and I hope I did! But then again, yeesh: why am I even going this far with it?!)

Ugh, it's weird how when I'm usually on the red, I'm just fine. I make the transition okay, and you never see me acting differently, or feeling the least bit sick (or maybe that's how I've deluded myself into thinking...?). Well anyway, this time around just seems so horrible, because not only am I aware of my mood swings and period-like symptoms (headache, fatigue, cramps), but for some reason my mouth seems looser than ever. I can't shut up, and I hate myself for it, too. I'm having intermittent hot and cold flashes, crazy mood swings, and cravings for chocolate every third hour. I can't even bring myself to sit here for long and write another 30kisses, even though I know exactly what I'm going to do for my next piece. I think I'll just hole myself up in my room and read all my magazines and books. ^^;

Anyway, I'm only home this early and not bitching more because "S," of all people (the same "lard-ass S" I complained about last night) decided to take the rest of my shift. Sure, he gets more money from it and all (I'm sure that was the motivating factor), but it just seemed like a nice gesture when usually he likes to go out of his way to make me uncomfortable one way or another. I'm glad, despite the fact I was so loose-lipped tonight, pretty much everyone on my shift probably knows I think "C" is cute now, but who the hell cares anymore? Let him find out and let his ego get stroked-- I live with my boyfriend. "C" can do whatever he wants or think what he wants, but unless he gets serious about being friends or whatever with me, my attention will be focused elsewhere. Besides, I only work 15 or so hours next week, so there's plenty of "me" time there. I need to clean, reassess, and write.

Oh yeah, I also added a few high schools to LiveJournal's new database of schools. Wash, Bal, Gal, Lincoln, Lowell, and Mission (San Francisco's Big 6), though I forgot the proper name of Lincoln is "Abraham Lincoln High School." I also added CSUN. I wonder when they're going to mark the list as "complete" (eh, probably not any time soon, since it IS a worldwide list) and do something with it.

Ugh... I feel so doped up now, though it's only on exhaustion, whatever the hell's in Jamba's "Femme boost," and Midol. X_X;