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I Wish I Could Stop Dreaming...
Aug. 17th, 2003 03:42 pmUgh. Awakened yet again by the estranged parental unit... and you know what, I should thank her for that. My dreams are still weird, and not of the good-weird kind. Sometimes my dreams are seriously whack (like, crazy) and other times obvious influences of the past (insert timeframe here)'s activities. Sometimes, they're even preminitory (once in a rare while). But nooo, lately, all my dreams have been of the BAD-weird, involving none other than BAKA JASON from my Freshman year! ;_; WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY am I dreaming of a crush from 4 years ago, of a guy I will probably NEVER see -let alone TALK to- ever again!? WHY?
And of all things we had to be doing, we were sitting in my bathroom organizing shampoos or something-- the cabinet underneath my bathroom sink were open, and all the soaps and stuff were out. And we were talking about organization or something, but it wasn't about shampoos, it was about anime (?) because "cs" meant "cardcaptor sakura." And I was laughing, saying something about him being a senior that year, so why would he know... (something)... I was embarassed and blushing, and he hugged me from behind, and then kissed me on the neck (weak spot!!!!! ;_; AUGH!!!) and then... BOOM! Mom walks in and I wake up.
I DO NOT want to be dreaming of him! It's stupid, it's foolish, it's impossible (oh dear, flashbacks to that STORY!!!), and most of all, it's PAINFUL!! I think it would be best if I just NEVER slept again. Ever.
...
I really have to do my laundry, the dishes, and work on my room. I had an idea on how to fix the layout I was thinking of yesterday... hopefully that will work out. Finally, played 4 hours and 45 minutes of straight PERSONA 2 -- it's kinda cool, kinda fun. It'd be neat to actually be able to talk to ghosts and the like-- and the tarot cards! WHOO, I hope they have a real deck of those! I like the concept of summoning "another half of yourself."
Okay, still stuck on the tables layout-- there's something odd about the division of the cells and the arrangement of the images; the original author from Illness really did a number on it; making some images ubersmall, and others friggin huge... not specifying ANY commentary whatsoever in the HTML (hence my f*ing itup) nor saying which images (save for one) are to be used in the BG of cells, while the others are just images. @_@ HELP!!!
MANY HOURS LATER... ugh, well, I was still thinking of him, still thinking about my embarassing, stupid past... decided to read my fortune or whatnot in my tarot cards. As usual, the cards told me something I should have known all along-- it's sort of like how "Ouiji" boards tell you what you might be afraid to hear, but what you've known all along? Well, the cards told me to let go of my past; not to have regrets, but to rid myself of "debris" and bad feelings. I can start anew, innocent and fresh; new relationships will spring from a more positive outlook and cycle. ^_^ Yep.
And of all things we had to be doing, we were sitting in my bathroom organizing shampoos or something-- the cabinet underneath my bathroom sink were open, and all the soaps and stuff were out. And we were talking about organization or something, but it wasn't about shampoos, it was about anime (?) because "cs" meant "cardcaptor sakura." And I was laughing, saying something about him being a senior that year, so why would he know... (something)... I was embarassed and blushing, and he hugged me from behind, and then kissed me on the neck (weak spot!!!!! ;_; AUGH!!!) and then... BOOM! Mom walks in and I wake up.
I DO NOT want to be dreaming of him! It's stupid, it's foolish, it's impossible (oh dear, flashbacks to that STORY!!!), and most of all, it's PAINFUL!! I think it would be best if I just NEVER slept again. Ever.
...
I really have to do my laundry, the dishes, and work on my room. I had an idea on how to fix the layout I was thinking of yesterday... hopefully that will work out. Finally, played 4 hours and 45 minutes of straight PERSONA 2 -- it's kinda cool, kinda fun. It'd be neat to actually be able to talk to ghosts and the like-- and the tarot cards! WHOO, I hope they have a real deck of those! I like the concept of summoning "another half of yourself."
Okay, still stuck on the tables layout-- there's something odd about the division of the cells and the arrangement of the images; the original author from Illness really did a number on it; making some images ubersmall, and others friggin huge... not specifying ANY commentary whatsoever in the HTML (hence my f*ing itup) nor saying which images (save for one) are to be used in the BG of cells, while the others are just images. @_@ HELP!!!
MANY HOURS LATER... ugh, well, I was still thinking of him, still thinking about my embarassing, stupid past... decided to read my fortune or whatnot in my tarot cards. As usual, the cards told me something I should have known all along-- it's sort of like how "Ouiji" boards tell you what you might be afraid to hear, but what you've known all along? Well, the cards told me to let go of my past; not to have regrets, but to rid myself of "debris" and bad feelings. I can start anew, innocent and fresh; new relationships will spring from a more positive outlook and cycle. ^_^ Yep.
