Sucks to be me, sometimes

*sigh*Another drab day. It's finally Friday, but what is there to look forward now? I don't think I'm invited to Steph's birthday party, and at this rate, even if I was, would I even have money to go? I could still give Steph a quick present though... Blah. Anyway. This is why LJs and such are dangerous, you say one thing, and people that you don't think read your journal DO, and they find something out that you didn't expect them to know, and it all gets blown to high heaven... -.- 'scuse me, I guess I'm just a little cross.

Uhm, well, I don't get to pick a domain name after all- at least not any time soon. I believe Marianya and I will share the domain for another year, and after that point, she'll hand it over to me and THEN I can choose the domain name, once I start paying for it. ^^; In any case, I believe the new domain for all my sites is http://azurite.incandesce.org. Good thing I backed everything up already, it's time to go on a new layout spree!

I'm really getting into Hana Yori Dango, all just from that brief clip from Viz' preview manga. So I went to a site and found all these summaries of the TV episodes and brief manga summaries, so I'm in HYD heaven now. I can't wait till the first complete volume comes out later this month!

Huh. Okay, got this new email from the femalesrock.com/forum, and it turns out Marissa, the webmistress of the WOAS forum that I loved so much was arrested! Apparently all that great stuff she had up on the forum about winning concert tickets and the like (and while I was skeptical, I never bought into it entirely) was bogus, and she was arrested for fraud! @_@ So now there's a new forum put up by some up the "devastated" members. I miss WOAS, since it was really more than a forum, it was a fantastic resource... but I guess this new place will work its way to the old place, and eventually take over The Evil Bitch Marissa's old reign. I hope we kick ass! =D

Banana Yoshimoto is one of the strong reminders why I want to write. Write stories, write journal, write anything. I love her style of writing.

Blah, I feel weird. -.-;

The Thing About Zodiacs, Astrology, and the Like

Joe let me read his "Zodiac P.I," a new manga from Tokypop that I like. The artist is under an alias, but I swear I've seen it before, and being big on astrology, I like seeing what the artist has done. It looks pretty interesting, a blend of classic shoujo comedy and romance, mystery, and magic. =D Still, Tokyopop needs a good thwapping for making repeated mistakes throughout that one issue! The main character, Lili, had TWO different birthdays, and was referred to as 'Lili' while she was under an alias; a guy was called by HER alias, and at the end of the book, she was called Riri! *groan* AUGH! Tokyopop, will you EVER learn?

Anyway.

You should be dating a Pisces.
19 February - 20 March
Your mate is loving and caring, trusting and
hospitable, and romantic. Though he/she can be
self-pitying, temperamental or dependent, the
fishes are quite romantic in bed.


What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla

This is ironic, of course, since Jonathan is a Pisces. But are we really going out? It's hard to tell. I'm pretty sick of being the only one that ever suggests anything, pays for anything, etc. -.-

The one thing I refuse to believe in that astrology says every now and then (and it irriattes me to see half-baked horoscopes in teen magazines, with lucky days, lucky colors, and people of a certain sign you should be attracted to on a certain day) is the concept of "If so and so is a BLANK, then you can't go out with them, because you're incompatible." I think the worst way of leaving someone would be to say "AUGH! No wonder you're so (insert negative personal quality here)! You're a (Insert Sun Sign Here)!!" Load. Of. Bull. No two people are alike, sun sign or not. I have a lot of Arian friends, but they're not all like me, and that's a FACT. Besides, you can't say that Arians shouldn't go out with people of a water sign because "fire and water don't mix." If you're heavy into the myth and magic behind astrology, and not just the science (which proves that horoscopes aren't hooey, btw), you'd find out that a balance between opposites makes for a very strong relationship. This is best seen in the tarot card "Temperence," where an angel sucessfully mixes fire and water-- without putting the fire out or without turning the water to steam. The same applies to Earth/Air signs. You forge your own destiny-- the stars just give you a glimpse down the road that takes you there.

Now, I'm going back to my HYD, because I'm currently obessive over Doumyoji. =)~~

Some stupid power

I don't know how she does it, but my stupid Mom always manages to make me feel lousy before I ever go anywhere-- out with my friends, to sleep, ANYWHERE! It's impossible, because she always brings up the same shit about responsibility and bills- I KNOW she's holding the weight in the family, I know she's doing everything she can so that we can have what we want-- the computer, the games, the Internet, the cell phone-- I'm not stupid! But with all this ridiculousness, I lost having a mom, and in her place is this nagging, guilt-tripping woman who rarely seems to spend any time with me at all! Not even talking or whatever-- and I'm always doing one thing or another wrong. It's not like I'm not trying to earn my keep-- I'm not some spoiled brat! I do the dishes, wash the sink, clean the bathrub, clean the trashcans, take the trash out! But if the counter has ANY macaroni powder on it, if there's sugar or noodles underneath the Microwave, it's bad, it's wrong, I have to suffer and be punished for it!

Week ago, it was her spending more time at Gary's house than here. I hate it when she has boyfriends, mainly because I hated her last boyfriend, but whatever, it's not my deal anymore, that makes me a hypocrite. After all the shit we've been through in our lives, Mom deserves a break, deserves happiness, but I don't want to end up like her. She's a cynic now, cynic who goes and gets high for no reason in her own damn bedroom, yells at me for idiotic things, keeps even more stupid things we don't need, and while bitching to me about being more thrifty, goes and buys herself $95 Nine West Shoes! So maybe it's been a while since she's done that, but after all, when was the last time we ever did anything that NORMAL moms and daughters do, when did she ever ask me about how I was doing, HONESTLY, and care?

I hate this. I hate this. I want to be out, I want a job, I want to stop the depression that everyone seems to have like a sickening disease lately. I want to stop the infinite pains sliding up and down my spine, making my left arm nearly useless. I hate sitting like this in the middle of the morning, having no life because I'm "between schools." I was supposed to apply to SFSU this morning, but stupid CCSF hasn't gotten my grade yet, and I'm too paranoid to put what I think it is-- or what it should be. Too smart to put "Pass" either.

HYD has offered me a slight sanctuary from the madness though, I've been giggling my way through summaries and fanfiction. Great series, now if only I had copies upon copies of it so I could curl up in the living room, just me, a blanket, and a cup of hot cocoa, crying my eyes out over the fact that I should be an anime character and not real, because then after 52 episodes, simplicity would follow. Somehow. What a strange otaku thought.

I think I need sleep now.