The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
Feb. 23rd, 2003 06:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteWow... it feels like it's been a while. Maybe it has. Or maybe my brain has a broken internal clock... who knows? ^^; Whatever. These past few days have been a gross mixture of good, bad, ugly, and just fucking terrible. Well, maybe not THAT badly, but right now I'm really upset. I guess I should be glad I'm not being a weakling and crying-- I guess I *am* getting stronger.
What Pattern Are You?
THE GOOD:
- saw Dez at HABN (Half-Arsed Bemani Night... my sad nickname for the 'every other' Bemani Nights) which was cool, since I hadn't seen him in a while. I bitched to him while on the F and being my miserable self, so it made me feel better. I wonder when he's going to start charging me for ranting to him about my problems.
-NEARLY (SO DAMN CLOSE) beat Iketani on iD. I had a good 50m advantage over him when the time ran out-- and I was less than 5m from the Finish Line! And I'd been tempted to give up on iD or start using my Lancer again... *riotous laughing* So this has given me a renewed sense of hope. Maybe the reason why I did so well was because no one who gave a damn about me was watching. =P Fred and Johnny (sp?) were playing DDR... and msot everyone else I knew, even remotely, was watching this hot SoCal guy play Beatmania (on doubles! I swear he's so FAST!).
-Played DDR and didn't do so badly-- played once downstairs in the Met, since I was the first from our crowd to get there. I was impatient, so sue me. Reasons on why I was so upset and impatient later. But all the same, I did pretty good-- though I screwed up on the last two steps of Break Down... >_> I'm going to Max Combo and/or PA that eventually! MARK MY WORDS!
-Found my purse, which I'd left at the Metreon Friday night. I didn't realize it till I was on my way home aftr 12am, so I had to call my mom to tell her to let me in the house. I hate losing things, so I was pretty depressed-- but there wasn't anything horrendously important in there. Just some makeup and my keys. Well, my mom was so paranoid about it (saying we'd have to change the locks and everything, even though there was nothing in the purse to connect the keys to this address) she insisted I haul ass immediately the next day (when Will & Amber were supposed to come over, the former for his cooking "final") and find the purse-- which I SWORE I had to have left at RTA, since the guy that works there moved my stuff while he was closing up... plus, whenever I DDR, I always put my stuff on the side of the machine. One thing I neglected to remember: I didn't DDR at RTA AT ALL THAT NIGHT! >_> GAH. But I have it now, so all is well. I have Will to thank for it too, since he came all the way with me to In-N-Out when we both knew it wasn't going to be there (shot in the dark, so sue me, I have a conscience) and he suggested I check out the Metreon's guest services-- which is where it ended up being! YAY!
-Managed to zoom through Star Ocean 2 today, which I was angsting about not playing the past couple of days. I was hoping Will could help me with some parts, and we could start devising all the little parts of SO2 that aren't mentioned in the Prima Guide. But now I'm at the Field of Power... and if it weren't for those damn Yetys... (see THE BAD)
-I found my purse at the same time Vince, Chris, and a few other FXers were there. Even *shudder* Gilbert. I'm sorry, but I don't like him. He's always following me around and touching me. I honestly think I give off some sort of Weird Magnetism rays or something. Why can't I ever attract hotties like Orlando Bloom to my side, huh!? *sigh* I stand by my belief that "all the good ones are either taken or gay." Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of "nice, single guys" out there, but not the kind of guys that *I* like THAT way. >_> Feh. Well, I did get to hang with Vince some more, which was fun... I stuck with them as far as Van Ness, where they were getting off to go to Tommy's Joynt or Mel's. But I only had $4 left, so neither of those was possible. Plus Mom said she was ordering Pizza.
-Last night when I came home, Mom wasn't mad at me so much anymore, 'specially since I found my purse. We watched Gigi, That's Entertainment III, and a 70s Soul hour. It was cool though, because we were just sitting there, eating pizza and talking-- Mom got out her old photo albums after KQED went off-air, and we looked at pictures from when she was a teenager, and before she got married to Smitty (my late sister's father, who passed away a while before my sister was born). It was sort of sad seeing her so upset looking AT the pictures, but she looked so happy IN the pictures. Afterwards, we went to her room and looked at her wedding album and everything-- it was actually pretty cool to see my Mom with long hair. Hah, she was a bridesmaid in a couple of pictures, and the dresses back then were so... @_o... aiyiyi... But it was fun. The night ended on a good note.
-Someone new joined *my* original project, called Project: Sailor V. I think I was one of the first scanlation projects around (after all, I did start it way back in 1999) but because of technological difficulties, it never really got off the ground. However, I'm taking it much more seriously now, and working with Chibi and this newbie, RP should help PSV get on its feet again. YAY!
-I also saw Benji and Bryan at the Metreon when I found my purse... Hmm, who is this girl with Benji I have been seeing lately? *curious look* Oh well, I didn't play initialD, or see a movie, but I did get a free toffee-thing from Benji that tasted yummy. Mm-hmm, and seeing Bryan was nice too, since I don't see him too often. He's nice. =D
Which Grunge Band Are You?
THE BAD:
-Will didn't come over yesterday. I met him and Amber at RTA after a lengthy wait (it felt lengthy to me because a) I was running low on cash; b) I was lonely and c) I was upset about not finding my purse) and we just sort of hung around for a while. Will, who originally didn't intend on going home (after all, he'd stayed at Amber's the night before...) now decided he should-- despite his not wanting to talk to his mom about losing his turtle... or something to that effect. It sucks to lose a pet though... I miss my dog.
-While playing SO2 today, I was pretty damn far up the mountain in the Field of Power when I faced a Yety-- and predictably lost. Nothing new there, but the avalanche that was supposed to seal me off froze my Playstation. FAK YOU PS! FAK YOU!
-Had I not found my purse at the Metreon yesterday, this portion of the entry would have been devoted to how upset and stupid I felt about losing something, letting my emotions (i.e. being all lonely and depressed and angry Friday night) get the better of me... not to mention the contents of my purse, despite their "worthlessness." Feh. No need. =D
THE UGLY:
-Not long ago I got an email from Gene... *sigh* He wasn't mad, but apparently I've pissed off his friends because of the way I acted at his party and when I went with him to Santa Cruz. The guy even went as far as to cite examples! Then he goes and says "I think you're a cool chick and all..." *GROWL HISS SPAT* I'm torn between being fucking pissed off here or just really depressed and sad. I'm leaning towards the latter right now, stuffing myself with fruit snacks shaped like Bugs Bunny *rips off Bugs' ears with teeth.* For the record, here's what his friends were apparently pissed off at me for:
1) me "acting" drunk: okay, I've had alcohol all of *6* times in my life. I can probably count them: 1) once at the beach with Mike; 2) once at the beach with Mike and Grace; 3) once at BlindTiger with... almost everyone; 4) once at Vince's birthday party; 5) once at the New Year's Party (ONE SMIRNOFF! THAT WAS IT!); and 6) two stupid Smirnoffs at Gene's party. THAT IS IT! If I was drunk, I didn't KNOW! As far as I knew, I could still think straight, walk in a straight line, and talk in complete sentences. Albeit I tend to be melodramatic, I wasn't "faking" anything to the point of trying to outright FOOL people. I don't like having people worried over me-- if I was trying to get people to fret over me, I would have had something a HELL OF A LOT STRONGER than a stupid 5% smirnoff!
2) me acting arrogant and rude at Santa Cruz: uhm, excuse me? WHAT!? First off, the thing that royally pissed me off is that he said something along the lines of "...like that around your little high school friends." When someone brings my friends into the combo, I get pissed. NO ONE FRIGGIN' INSULTS MY FRIENDS. NO ONE. Admittedly, a lot of my friends tend to be older than me, but that doesn't always mean they're less mature. Of the friends I *do* have that are with me in high school, they're (and we're, when we're together) a hell of a lot more mature than some of the people that were at the party. As for Santa Cruz, I was tired, broke, and cold. I also hate walking, so you can understand that walking up and down hills in the middle of the night to check out a UC Campus I have absolutely no interest in would tick me off. I wanted to get home. I'd told my mom I'd be home much earlier-- I didn't expect to go out to dinner, didn't expect to have Gene to need to pay for my food, and I didn't expect to get a "tour" of UCSC.
I don't want to get that stupid email out of the trash and reread it. It made me so upset the first time I saw it I clicked delete immediately. I don't care if you apologize-- don't people understand it's totally pointless to go on insulting someone and then say "no offense" ?! Get a clue! Men especially, don't seem to know when to keep their mouths shut. I'm a hypocrite in that sense, I know, since I like truth, but I appreciate TACT too! Every single day, another male specimen gives me a reason to hate their kind even more. This is why I'm glad I'm bi. If I ever get so sick of men, I'll just start going out with women all the time. Or something. Hmph.
You know, I honestly think that's it for the truly UGLY stuff. My weekend was going great until I got that email, but in contrast to most of the fun I had this weekend, it's okay. I'm in control here-- I don't NEED to talk to Gene. What he said, while reasonable to an extent, was rude and tactless... I have no reason to speak to him now. And so maybe I'm better for it.
Next weekend (and Will pinky swore!) Will and Amber are coming over, Will's having his cooking midterm, and hopefully we can go thrift-store hunting. It's time to start counting down for Fanime!
What Pattern Are You?
THE GOOD:
- saw Dez at HABN (Half-Arsed Bemani Night... my sad nickname for the 'every other' Bemani Nights) which was cool, since I hadn't seen him in a while. I bitched to him while on the F and being my miserable self, so it made me feel better. I wonder when he's going to start charging me for ranting to him about my problems.
-NEARLY (SO DAMN CLOSE) beat Iketani on iD. I had a good 50m advantage over him when the time ran out-- and I was less than 5m from the Finish Line! And I'd been tempted to give up on iD or start using my Lancer again... *riotous laughing* So this has given me a renewed sense of hope. Maybe the reason why I did so well was because no one who gave a damn about me was watching. =P Fred and Johnny (sp?) were playing DDR... and msot everyone else I knew, even remotely, was watching this hot SoCal guy play Beatmania (on doubles! I swear he's so FAST!).
-Played DDR and didn't do so badly-- played once downstairs in the Met, since I was the first from our crowd to get there. I was impatient, so sue me. Reasons on why I was so upset and impatient later. But all the same, I did pretty good-- though I screwed up on the last two steps of Break Down... >_> I'm going to Max Combo and/or PA that eventually! MARK MY WORDS!
-Found my purse, which I'd left at the Metreon Friday night. I didn't realize it till I was on my way home aftr 12am, so I had to call my mom to tell her to let me in the house. I hate losing things, so I was pretty depressed-- but there wasn't anything horrendously important in there. Just some makeup and my keys. Well, my mom was so paranoid about it (saying we'd have to change the locks and everything, even though there was nothing in the purse to connect the keys to this address) she insisted I haul ass immediately the next day (when Will & Amber were supposed to come over, the former for his cooking "final") and find the purse-- which I SWORE I had to have left at RTA, since the guy that works there moved my stuff while he was closing up... plus, whenever I DDR, I always put my stuff on the side of the machine. One thing I neglected to remember: I didn't DDR at RTA AT ALL THAT NIGHT! >_> GAH. But I have it now, so all is well. I have Will to thank for it too, since he came all the way with me to In-N-Out when we both knew it wasn't going to be there (shot in the dark, so sue me, I have a conscience) and he suggested I check out the Metreon's guest services-- which is where it ended up being! YAY!
-Managed to zoom through Star Ocean 2 today, which I was angsting about not playing the past couple of days. I was hoping Will could help me with some parts, and we could start devising all the little parts of SO2 that aren't mentioned in the Prima Guide. But now I'm at the Field of Power... and if it weren't for those damn Yetys... (see THE BAD)
-I found my purse at the same time Vince, Chris, and a few other FXers were there. Even *shudder* Gilbert. I'm sorry, but I don't like him. He's always following me around and touching me. I honestly think I give off some sort of Weird Magnetism rays or something. Why can't I ever attract hotties like Orlando Bloom to my side, huh!? *sigh* I stand by my belief that "all the good ones are either taken or gay." Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of "nice, single guys" out there, but not the kind of guys that *I* like THAT way. >_> Feh. Well, I did get to hang with Vince some more, which was fun... I stuck with them as far as Van Ness, where they were getting off to go to Tommy's Joynt or Mel's. But I only had $4 left, so neither of those was possible. Plus Mom said she was ordering Pizza.
-Last night when I came home, Mom wasn't mad at me so much anymore, 'specially since I found my purse. We watched Gigi, That's Entertainment III, and a 70s Soul hour. It was cool though, because we were just sitting there, eating pizza and talking-- Mom got out her old photo albums after KQED went off-air, and we looked at pictures from when she was a teenager, and before she got married to Smitty (my late sister's father, who passed away a while before my sister was born). It was sort of sad seeing her so upset looking AT the pictures, but she looked so happy IN the pictures. Afterwards, we went to her room and looked at her wedding album and everything-- it was actually pretty cool to see my Mom with long hair. Hah, she was a bridesmaid in a couple of pictures, and the dresses back then were so... @_o... aiyiyi... But it was fun. The night ended on a good note.
-Someone new joined *my* original project, called Project: Sailor V. I think I was one of the first scanlation projects around (after all, I did start it way back in 1999) but because of technological difficulties, it never really got off the ground. However, I'm taking it much more seriously now, and working with Chibi and this newbie, RP should help PSV get on its feet again. YAY!
-I also saw Benji and Bryan at the Metreon when I found my purse... Hmm, who is this girl with Benji I have been seeing lately? *curious look* Oh well, I didn't play initialD, or see a movie, but I did get a free toffee-thing from Benji that tasted yummy. Mm-hmm, and seeing Bryan was nice too, since I don't see him too often. He's nice. =D
Which Grunge Band Are You?
THE BAD:
-Will didn't come over yesterday. I met him and Amber at RTA after a lengthy wait (it felt lengthy to me because a) I was running low on cash; b) I was lonely and c) I was upset about not finding my purse) and we just sort of hung around for a while. Will, who originally didn't intend on going home (after all, he'd stayed at Amber's the night before...) now decided he should-- despite his not wanting to talk to his mom about losing his turtle... or something to that effect. It sucks to lose a pet though... I miss my dog.
-While playing SO2 today, I was pretty damn far up the mountain in the Field of Power when I faced a Yety-- and predictably lost. Nothing new there, but the avalanche that was supposed to seal me off froze my Playstation. FAK YOU PS! FAK YOU!
-Had I not found my purse at the Metreon yesterday, this portion of the entry would have been devoted to how upset and stupid I felt about losing something, letting my emotions (i.e. being all lonely and depressed and angry Friday night) get the better of me... not to mention the contents of my purse, despite their "worthlessness." Feh. No need. =D
THE UGLY:
-Not long ago I got an email from Gene... *sigh* He wasn't mad, but apparently I've pissed off his friends because of the way I acted at his party and when I went with him to Santa Cruz. The guy even went as far as to cite examples! Then he goes and says "I think you're a cool chick and all..." *GROWL HISS SPAT* I'm torn between being fucking pissed off here or just really depressed and sad. I'm leaning towards the latter right now, stuffing myself with fruit snacks shaped like Bugs Bunny *rips off Bugs' ears with teeth.* For the record, here's what his friends were apparently pissed off at me for:
1) me "acting" drunk: okay, I've had alcohol all of *6* times in my life. I can probably count them: 1) once at the beach with Mike; 2) once at the beach with Mike and Grace; 3) once at BlindTiger with... almost everyone; 4) once at Vince's birthday party; 5) once at the New Year's Party (ONE SMIRNOFF! THAT WAS IT!); and 6) two stupid Smirnoffs at Gene's party. THAT IS IT! If I was drunk, I didn't KNOW! As far as I knew, I could still think straight, walk in a straight line, and talk in complete sentences. Albeit I tend to be melodramatic, I wasn't "faking" anything to the point of trying to outright FOOL people. I don't like having people worried over me-- if I was trying to get people to fret over me, I would have had something a HELL OF A LOT STRONGER than a stupid 5% smirnoff!
2) me acting arrogant and rude at Santa Cruz: uhm, excuse me? WHAT!? First off, the thing that royally pissed me off is that he said something along the lines of "...like that around your little high school friends." When someone brings my friends into the combo, I get pissed. NO ONE FRIGGIN' INSULTS MY FRIENDS. NO ONE. Admittedly, a lot of my friends tend to be older than me, but that doesn't always mean they're less mature. Of the friends I *do* have that are with me in high school, they're (and we're, when we're together) a hell of a lot more mature than some of the people that were at the party. As for Santa Cruz, I was tired, broke, and cold. I also hate walking, so you can understand that walking up and down hills in the middle of the night to check out a UC Campus I have absolutely no interest in would tick me off. I wanted to get home. I'd told my mom I'd be home much earlier-- I didn't expect to go out to dinner, didn't expect to have Gene to need to pay for my food, and I didn't expect to get a "tour" of UCSC.
I don't want to get that stupid email out of the trash and reread it. It made me so upset the first time I saw it I clicked delete immediately. I don't care if you apologize-- don't people understand it's totally pointless to go on insulting someone and then say "no offense" ?! Get a clue! Men especially, don't seem to know when to keep their mouths shut. I'm a hypocrite in that sense, I know, since I like truth, but I appreciate TACT too! Every single day, another male specimen gives me a reason to hate their kind even more. This is why I'm glad I'm bi. If I ever get so sick of men, I'll just start going out with women all the time. Or something. Hmph.
You know, I honestly think that's it for the truly UGLY stuff. My weekend was going great until I got that email, but in contrast to most of the fun I had this weekend, it's okay. I'm in control here-- I don't NEED to talk to Gene. What he said, while reasonable to an extent, was rude and tactless... I have no reason to speak to him now. And so maybe I'm better for it.
Next weekend (and Will pinky swore!) Will and Amber are coming over, Will's having his cooking midterm, and hopefully we can go thrift-store hunting. It's time to start counting down for Fanime!
Yeah...
Date: 2003-02-25 08:31 am (UTC)EXCUSE ME!?
Date: 2003-02-25 01:40 pm (UTC)For the record, I typed this entry not long after recieving the email, and it hurt like a bitch. A lot of people had been hurting me this past weekend, and IT WAS NOT FUN. I don't make excuses for my flaws though, and at least in admitting it, I have a lot more guts-- and tact in remaining as calm as I possibly can-- than you. Don't go labeling me, pretending you're part of my life, thinking you know who I am or what I've been through. You're not godly, you don't know all, you don't see all, and you're far from perfect. I have a lot of male friends who are great examples of nice behavior-- nearly everything the opposite of what I was railing out... and I realize that! What is it you expect from me now, to write a letter of apology to mankind? FINE, CERTAIN MALES have a ways to go before I'd even consider something of that magnitude, but in the meantime, I'm satisfied with the incredible male friends I *do* have-- Will, Dez, Vince, Mike, to name a few. You don't know me, Jimmy. Don't even start.
Oh, and for the record, I am NOT 18 yet, and regardless of my age, that doesn't give anyone the right to fucking verbally abuse me as you have done. I am permitted to be upset at who I want, for what I want. I'm not assuming a mantle of godliness here, but unless you're in my position (which you absolutely are NOT) then I don't think you have even a shrapnel of the right to go around pretending you represent all of mankind. As it stands right now, I wouldn't exclude you from the "present company" of men who have pretty much bruised me in the recent past. I don't take insults lightly, in case you didn't know, and despite my penchant for being emotional and frank in my own journal (as I well should) you have NOT SEEN ME PISSED OFF. If you fucking think you have the ability to come up me and tell me off because what I've felt about OTHER PEOPLE then at least have the decency to say it to me personally.
When I'm pissed off or upset, YES, I do exaggerate some. It's a flaw of mine, but at least I'm admitting it! If I don't have tact, then neither the fuck do you! My life is my business, so STAY THE FUCK OUT!
Re: EXCUSE ME!?
Date: 2003-02-25 09:43 pm (UTC)2. I don't give a shit about decency when it comes to something like this.
3. I've had an attitude with everything human lately, why? I've realized the human race doesn't deserve anything better.
4. You're right I DON'T know you, I don't know what you go through, and I never said I did. Don't put words in my mouth.
5. I don't give sympathy votes, and I don't give pity.
6. The putting the fear of god into you statement was a metaphor, you work with journalism, you should learn this. And I don't waste my time with religion. (just another tool for humans taking advantage of humans)
7. Oh, but it does apply to me. You say men, meaning the entire group of anyone belonging to the male gender. I happen to be a member of that group, therefore it applies to me, and anyone else in that group.
8. When did I say I was all-knowing? And what "investigating" have you done for these generalizations you've made, huh? I'll take an earlier example of your comments against men: You said on at least one occasion that no man washes their hands after coming out of the bathroom, what investigation have you done on that?
Ugh, you know what? I don't have the patience to continue with this, its not worth my time, I've got better things to do. I'm ending this.
Re: EXCUSE ME!?
Date: 2003-02-25 10:26 pm (UTC)I'm glad you finally decided to do something remotely mature for once and end this. I'm sick of it too.
lol..quick question
Date: 2003-02-26 11:41 pm (UTC)Re: lol..quick question
Date: 2003-02-26 11:43 pm (UTC)sMiLe its heaLthiE