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azuriteWelcome to the rant zone people. Today is very sucky. It started out great-- I got to sleep in. No work. All very good things. The dishes were a nagging thing on the side of my mine, as was that odd phone message I got at the ungodly hour of 9:40am... but I paid it no mind and kept sleeping until after 12.
Well, I'm sure you're all familiar with the (in)famous phrase, "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong?" One of many of Murphy's Laws. So, of all things the phone call had to be about, SCHOOL. And of course, my lack thereof. Turns out I have been utterly and completely DENIED admission to SFSU. Not that much of a pang right there, since I sort of saw it coming... but get this.
Because I took the ONLY COURSE AVAILABLE at City to make up for my ONE measly semester D in Japanese (I had to take Elementary Japanese, btw... even though it crammed most of Japanese 1-3 from high school into it, save the kanji) I am no longer a "first time freshman" but a "lower division transfer." But a true "lower division transfer" has at least 60 credits. High school stuff doesn't apply, since you would have been in a associate's-degree college for at least two years.
You know why I didn't want to do that? Because less than 40% of the people that go to city ever transfer to a CSU or a UC. Those that actually manage to stay in and get a degree quit after that. Those that don't drop out, wasting their time and money. Which is apparently what I did. My elementary Japanese course is good for nothing. And I already paid $55 to CSUN for the Fall Semester... and they want transcripts and such by November 30th. I was planning on sending them everything soon, but what are the chances that THEY have a different policy than SFSU? I'll probably still end up being a LDT for CSUN, won't be able to get in because of that $%^$ing D, and...
My life is ruined.
Who can I even turn to for advice, look up to, now? Look at this-- all my friends are going to college or university. My cousins... all at UCs. Katia at Cal State, Shaina and Marcella at UCSC, Erin and Eva at UCLA. Half my co-workers go to Academy of Art or SFSU. Harry's going to Skyline, and god knows how many people are ahead of me by going to CCSF! I didn't MIND CCSF, but I don't want to spend 2 years there, in boring, worksheet-related classes with people that are all at least 10 years older than me! I want to be in a real university environment, doing what I love -- learning! But here I've gone and screwed myself over not just once, but TWICE! If not more! What the hell am I going to do? I can't stand living another year here with my mom, but where am I going to get the money to take 2 whole years at CCSF? I was lax on scholarships before, and now, with the chance of a brand-new school year being rejected before it's even started, I probably stand even LESS of a chance of getting anywhere.
I realy don't feel like hearing anyone say "I know the feeling" or even "I told you so." I swear to god, anyone says that shit to me and I will fucking bitch you out. I'm not in the mood for it. The one thing I've been going for my entire damn life --a good education-- and I'm being tossed out in the gutter before I get my foot in the door. Yes, I would appreciate some KIND, USEFUL advice, if you've got it... but right now it feels like the whole world has walked all over me, tarred and feathered me, ridiculued me and THEN added salt to my wounds. So if you're going to say anything less than "THE ANSWER TO YOUR PROBLEMS" then I don't feel like hearing it. It's mean, it's depressing, it's sad, but it's true. And I probably won't get any comments to this, and I won't be surprised.
The rug of life has been pulled out from under me.
I'm going to hate that which I have looked forward to so much this past month... all because Thanksgiving will inevitably mean stupid relatives asking me stupid questions about why stupid me isn't going to school!
Thank you, my life is ruined.
Well, I'm sure you're all familiar with the (in)famous phrase, "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong?" One of many of Murphy's Laws. So, of all things the phone call had to be about, SCHOOL. And of course, my lack thereof. Turns out I have been utterly and completely DENIED admission to SFSU. Not that much of a pang right there, since I sort of saw it coming... but get this.
Because I took the ONLY COURSE AVAILABLE at City to make up for my ONE measly semester D in Japanese (I had to take Elementary Japanese, btw... even though it crammed most of Japanese 1-3 from high school into it, save the kanji) I am no longer a "first time freshman" but a "lower division transfer." But a true "lower division transfer" has at least 60 credits. High school stuff doesn't apply, since you would have been in a associate's-degree college for at least two years.
You know why I didn't want to do that? Because less than 40% of the people that go to city ever transfer to a CSU or a UC. Those that actually manage to stay in and get a degree quit after that. Those that don't drop out, wasting their time and money. Which is apparently what I did. My elementary Japanese course is good for nothing. And I already paid $55 to CSUN for the Fall Semester... and they want transcripts and such by November 30th. I was planning on sending them everything soon, but what are the chances that THEY have a different policy than SFSU? I'll probably still end up being a LDT for CSUN, won't be able to get in because of that $%^$ing D, and...
My life is ruined.
Who can I even turn to for advice, look up to, now? Look at this-- all my friends are going to college or university. My cousins... all at UCs. Katia at Cal State, Shaina and Marcella at UCSC, Erin and Eva at UCLA. Half my co-workers go to Academy of Art or SFSU. Harry's going to Skyline, and god knows how many people are ahead of me by going to CCSF! I didn't MIND CCSF, but I don't want to spend 2 years there, in boring, worksheet-related classes with people that are all at least 10 years older than me! I want to be in a real university environment, doing what I love -- learning! But here I've gone and screwed myself over not just once, but TWICE! If not more! What the hell am I going to do? I can't stand living another year here with my mom, but where am I going to get the money to take 2 whole years at CCSF? I was lax on scholarships before, and now, with the chance of a brand-new school year being rejected before it's even started, I probably stand even LESS of a chance of getting anywhere.
I realy don't feel like hearing anyone say "I know the feeling" or even "I told you so." I swear to god, anyone says that shit to me and I will fucking bitch you out. I'm not in the mood for it. The one thing I've been going for my entire damn life --a good education-- and I'm being tossed out in the gutter before I get my foot in the door. Yes, I would appreciate some KIND, USEFUL advice, if you've got it... but right now it feels like the whole world has walked all over me, tarred and feathered me, ridiculued me and THEN added salt to my wounds. So if you're going to say anything less than "THE ANSWER TO YOUR PROBLEMS" then I don't feel like hearing it. It's mean, it's depressing, it's sad, but it's true. And I probably won't get any comments to this, and I won't be surprised.
The rug of life has been pulled out from under me.
I'm going to hate that which I have looked forward to so much this past month... all because Thanksgiving will inevitably mean stupid relatives asking me stupid questions about why stupid me isn't going to school!
Thank you, my life is ruined.
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no subject
Date: 2003-11-19 05:31 pm (UTC)1st of all *gives u big hug* I'm really sorry to hear about that. Stuff like this totally sucks and the education system, no matter what country you come from, can be a realy bitch at the most inappropriate times *mutters* bastards *growls*
Anyway, is there anyway you can re-apply or any other places u can go? Or perhaps some other classes you can take to help credit towards getting in maybe next year? I know absolutly nothing about the american school system so sorry if i sound completely blah >.< Anyway - don't give up! Keep trying and im sure something good will happen. If anything, if you don't have anyluck with school *this* year, why not use the year to work heaps and save up some money and maybe go travelling or something or use the money to help pay for any other education you want to do?
I know this isn't an answer to your problem, and i honestly wish i had one. I am also prepared for your bitch out *wince* but i just wanted u to know that i'm cheering for you and like i said - don't give up! *squidge*
:D
Date: 2003-11-19 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-19 06:25 pm (UTC)So I'm not going to say "I know how you feel" because in all honesty, I don't know how you feel. I've just experienced something similar. You ain't getting no pity from me, girl. I expect you to fight back as hard as you possibly can, because that's the kind of person you are.
Cheer up!
Date: 2003-11-19 06:39 pm (UTC)Okay you can yell all you want at me, but you know what I'm going to do? Think positive cuz, at least you read what I wrote to you and that you responded to it!
Re: Cheer up!
Date: 2003-11-19 06:53 pm (UTC)Kick Ass
Date: 2003-11-19 07:51 pm (UTC)Here's a slightly different response: get up, dust yourself off, dry the tears, get even. So what if they turned you down? Their loss. Go, apply to CSUN (you heard me, do it!), go make your millions of dollars, and rub it in their (SFSU) faces! Shit happens. I've been through a lot of shit, and I've learned you can't take it lying down, because they'll trample you even further in to the dirt. So get up, hold your head up high, and show 'em that you're the best and they're the ones who are dirt. One of the best feelings in the world is showing those who have thrown you aside that you're too strong to care.
Life gives us pain for a reason... so we may understand it, learn from it, and make ourselves stronger because of it. Some people never learn this, and live their lives dwelling on what-ifs. But I think, no, I KNOW you will take this experience, tell yourself that its their loss, screw them! and will move on to do all the things you want to do. Have faith.
~dF
p.s. telling them to 'kiss your little (insert color here) ass' never hurts either.
Re: Kick Ass
Date: 2003-11-19 08:33 pm (UTC)