Fragmentary entry.
Mar. 10th, 2007 12:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azuriteFeel kinda sick.
Went drinking with John (Sudden invitation, kinda nice; had to tell Baba 'no, I don't like him THAT way.' She wants me to have a new boyfriend more than I do).
Actually, only had one Long Island Iced Tea.
Can never hold my liquor. (Featherweight.)
Glad I've never had poisoning, though.
Not that stupid.
Played more FFX-2.
Let my mind wander.
Alcohol doesn't solve problems, but it numbs your brain from thinking about reality.
It makes you feel warmer and fuzzier, heavier and dumber, and it's all just easier that way.
I wish I could play with minds the way I play my games. Even for one day. Just to see what it'd be like.
I don't really know what I mean by 'play' though, and even in games, there's only a set amount to what you can do. Without some semblance of control, there's nothing but chaos.
Hopefully- shoe shopping on Sunday with Adrianna.
I wish for sweeter dreams than I've had lately. Or maybe a dreamless sleep. I'm halfway sick of unreal fantasies.
So why do I watch NANA? The characters are all so disgustingly pathetic in so many ways, but unlike Hot Gimmick, where I got fed up with Hatsumi being a doormat, Nana, Hachi and even FFX-2's Yuna don't take "fate" or "reality" or "teachings" lying down. They all try to make the best for themselves that they can-- though sometimes they run away, sometimes they know they can't. I just hope NANA doesn't become HG 2.0 for me, and I end up wanting to sever all my ties with it.
I don't need a happy ending, I just need a realistic life. And happiness can be part of life, too. Doesn't matter the where or when. Just as long as it's not all drama, all the time.
Damn Mac kept waking up last night for no reason, and the screen is so bright it woke me up. I'm such a sensitive sleeper.
I wanna sleep.
Don't wanna be sick.
Went drinking with John (Sudden invitation, kinda nice; had to tell Baba 'no, I don't like him THAT way.' She wants me to have a new boyfriend more than I do).
Actually, only had one Long Island Iced Tea.
Can never hold my liquor. (Featherweight.)
Glad I've never had poisoning, though.
Not that stupid.
Played more FFX-2.
Let my mind wander.
Alcohol doesn't solve problems, but it numbs your brain from thinking about reality.
It makes you feel warmer and fuzzier, heavier and dumber, and it's all just easier that way.
I wish I could play with minds the way I play my games. Even for one day. Just to see what it'd be like.
I don't really know what I mean by 'play' though, and even in games, there's only a set amount to what you can do. Without some semblance of control, there's nothing but chaos.
Hopefully- shoe shopping on Sunday with Adrianna.
I wish for sweeter dreams than I've had lately. Or maybe a dreamless sleep. I'm halfway sick of unreal fantasies.
So why do I watch NANA? The characters are all so disgustingly pathetic in so many ways, but unlike Hot Gimmick, where I got fed up with Hatsumi being a doormat, Nana, Hachi and even FFX-2's Yuna don't take "fate" or "reality" or "teachings" lying down. They all try to make the best for themselves that they can-- though sometimes they run away, sometimes they know they can't. I just hope NANA doesn't become HG 2.0 for me, and I end up wanting to sever all my ties with it.
I don't need a happy ending, I just need a realistic life. And happiness can be part of life, too. Doesn't matter the where or when. Just as long as it's not all drama, all the time.
Damn Mac kept waking up last night for no reason, and the screen is so bright it woke me up. I'm such a sensitive sleeper.
I wanna sleep.
Don't wanna be sick.
