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azuriteI hate this! I didn't even have a horrible day at work-- I was happy to come home, happy NOT to be assaulted by bugs while I read Harry Potter in the rec room for an hour, happy to get a nice, two and a half hour nap. But nooooo, when I wake up, it's to some guy from Jamba Reseda asking me to take a shift on the 4th-- uh, no! Look, it's my management's fault for not having me work that day when I would have been more than happy to, but now that I have it off, I'm sure as hell NOT going anywhere. I did want to go to AX, but it won't happen-- I can't rely on the bus system to get me there, and the expenses I'd pay (transportation, registration, food, dealer's room) outweigh my desire to really go. I'll con next year, or in winter. I did wanna call Jill (been putting off doing that for a while-- one thing or another always keeps me busy) and see what she's doing, but now I feel like calling her would be too short-notice anyway. Besides, since she and John are home-based, they probably don't have "off" tomorrow anyway.
But what really gets my goat is when people stay stupid things intentionally, to hurt my feelings or to get me riled up. I awoke pleasantly surprised to find Scott home-- outside, doing this interesting ink painting with a twig and some India Ink. I went outside to say hi for a while, but in the few minutes we talked, my mood went from calm and happy to downright sour. Why? Because the one thing I've liked doing lately, Scott just doesn't understand, nor does he seem to have any desire TO understand. I'm sure other people have been through this before, with different people and things...
Anyway, I was telling him how I'm going to try finishing all the books within the next 13 or so days before HP6 comes out... and he's all "Well, just don't forget about the other things on your list," -- I have this list in my bedroom near my door, reminding me to clean, get out and exercise, paint... you know, a list of recreational things I made up so I'm not doing what I am now-- that is, porked out in front of the computer (actually, I'm just here to print FFIX strategy tips so I can start a new game). I've already started most of those things --cleaning and painting-- but reading to Scott means me staying indoors, which is apparently a bad thing. Even though a) I love reading, and always have, b) I'm reading books that I love, and that I've already read, therefore I will read FAST but also with a passion, he was just all "Eh, whatever" about it. It pissed me off and made me sad, because I always take an interest in his things-- even charcoal portraits, which I HATE, because charcoal just reminds me of an icky time in my life.
And worse, Grandpa laughed at the whole thing too... he was "it's all recreational" and I'm trying to explain that, given a choice of many things to do recreationally, WTF is wrong with reading? Dad was always the one that encouraged me to read, to explore... he never chastised me for loving fairy tales (Heck, I had a map of the Fairy Tale world in my bedroom!) or things like that... I just don't understand!
It does remind me of how much I tried to explain anime to Mom and Dad, and they just sort of smiled and nodded-- they never got into it, they never asked me questions... I would have loved that! And now with Harry Potter (I'm not a diehard fan, mind you, but I do like it a lot!) it feels the same way-- like I'm some lonesome dork with no friends and nothing else to do. And people wonder why I spend so much time online-- because for one, I can rant about this kind of meanness and stupidity, and for two, there actually are people like me-- out in the great wide world, connected to me through the Internet, and maybe even willing to talk or argue or laugh with me!
*sigh* Today, men are just pissing me off left and right. That fantastic feeling I had last night from getting all those books (eh, spending my depression away?) and having that fabulous cocoa-- all gone. I really hate men today. Harry Potter is a cute little boy who removes me from this world, and I love him all the more for it.
Hmph, men!
But what really gets my goat is when people stay stupid things intentionally, to hurt my feelings or to get me riled up. I awoke pleasantly surprised to find Scott home-- outside, doing this interesting ink painting with a twig and some India Ink. I went outside to say hi for a while, but in the few minutes we talked, my mood went from calm and happy to downright sour. Why? Because the one thing I've liked doing lately, Scott just doesn't understand, nor does he seem to have any desire TO understand. I'm sure other people have been through this before, with different people and things...
Anyway, I was telling him how I'm going to try finishing all the books within the next 13 or so days before HP6 comes out... and he's all "Well, just don't forget about the other things on your list," -- I have this list in my bedroom near my door, reminding me to clean, get out and exercise, paint... you know, a list of recreational things I made up so I'm not doing what I am now-- that is, porked out in front of the computer (actually, I'm just here to print FFIX strategy tips so I can start a new game). I've already started most of those things --cleaning and painting-- but reading to Scott means me staying indoors, which is apparently a bad thing. Even though a) I love reading, and always have, b) I'm reading books that I love, and that I've already read, therefore I will read FAST but also with a passion, he was just all "Eh, whatever" about it. It pissed me off and made me sad, because I always take an interest in his things-- even charcoal portraits, which I HATE, because charcoal just reminds me of an icky time in my life.
And worse, Grandpa laughed at the whole thing too... he was "it's all recreational" and I'm trying to explain that, given a choice of many things to do recreationally, WTF is wrong with reading? Dad was always the one that encouraged me to read, to explore... he never chastised me for loving fairy tales (Heck, I had a map of the Fairy Tale world in my bedroom!) or things like that... I just don't understand!
It does remind me of how much I tried to explain anime to Mom and Dad, and they just sort of smiled and nodded-- they never got into it, they never asked me questions... I would have loved that! And now with Harry Potter (I'm not a diehard fan, mind you, but I do like it a lot!) it feels the same way-- like I'm some lonesome dork with no friends and nothing else to do. And people wonder why I spend so much time online-- because for one, I can rant about this kind of meanness and stupidity, and for two, there actually are people like me-- out in the great wide world, connected to me through the Internet, and maybe even willing to talk or argue or laugh with me!
*sigh* Today, men are just pissing me off left and right. That fantastic feeling I had last night from getting all those books (eh, spending my depression away?) and having that fabulous cocoa-- all gone. I really hate men today. Harry Potter is a cute little boy who removes me from this world, and I love him all the more for it.
Hmph, men!
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no subject
Date: 2005-07-04 03:48 am (UTC)Books were exciting. They were not.
Growing up, also, most of my friends were also a good deal older than I was, or a good deal younger. My younger friends and I shared my more "immature" interests and my "mature" friends and I shared the same loves.
Once I got to University, really branched out, really met people, I found all sorts of wonderful people who had similar interests. Veggie is as much a literary, history, and film fanatic as I am. Sab loves music, and anime like I do, and we have such a close understanding of person and spiritual matters. Di is my . . . well, Di is my art friend who drives me half batty. T-Bear and B are into comics and quirky tv. Jason is my best friend, and we share a love of almsot everything including TCGs and video games.
Branching into his friends, well, there are a bunch of people for me to communicate with about fascinating things as well.
Not everyone is capable of shaing all your interests, and some of them will bore people senseless. That's life. If I started talking about the difficult ornamentation in my Nocturne to Jason he'd blink at me, go "okay . . ." and he'd be interested, but really, he's not.
I do feel, however, that most of the people that I'm most easily able to communicate with are people I've met online. I think it really just comes that the broader you spread your "search" the easier it is to find "compatible matches."
no subject
Date: 2005-07-04 04:02 am (UTC)HA! Look at that....
But it's understandable to feel that way. As for people around you not sharing the same interests...well, eventually, when you get to meet more people, you can find more people. It just takes time. And of course, no one is going to share all of the same interests you do. On top of that...well, excuse me, it's probably not my place to say anything, but perhaps you should tell Scott, while it's sweet and considerate of him to remember you have that list on your door, he's not your parent. He's your...partner/lover. It's not his place to tell what you to do, and you're free to do as you really want with your life.
But hey...points for knowing of the list and pointing it out...? Really...I would think so, since few guys I know of would have recalled something of that nature, no matter how many times they had clearly seen it.
And...okay, I'm stopping there. ^^;;;
no subject
Date: 2005-07-08 09:56 pm (UTC)Eh?
Date: 2005-07-08 10:14 pm (UTC)Re: Eh?
Date: 2005-07-09 07:12 am (UTC)Re: Eh?
Date: 2005-07-10 01:24 am (UTC);_; I'm leaving late in the afternoon on the 25th though, so unless you did something before that, I prolly couldn't go. Bummer! I still wanna see you and everyone else while I'm there, tho!
Re: Eh?
Date: 2005-07-11 06:28 am (UTC)