Yep..thought it was something like that. And yes, telling him, "I want to be surprised" does take all of the fun out of it...and now I'm thinking of "All Dogs Go To Heaven." ^^;;; Heh.... I'm gonna have that song stuck in my head now.... Either way, it's not selfish. You've a right to want things in life. It's probably the expecting part that causes problems, not the wanting.
But sadly, some men just don't get it. Everything else is pretty true, though. It takes communication and working things out...but a surprise once in a while is nice too. And I'll laugh at anyone who tells me that's just the "honeymoon" phase type of thing to do.
I knew people who had four kids, married for ages...and the husband would still surprise his wife with something from time to time, and she'd do things for him too. They were so...loving. X__X Really. He'd give her massages, and she baked for him. *sigh* So wonderful. They had their ups and downs, of course--almost wanted a divorce at one point--but they stuck it out through everything together, and are currently still very happy.
People do need space, I won't argue with that. Space once in a while can make a huge difference, but it takes dedication and strength to maintain any relationship. Distance isn't always the answer, because if you're serious about each other, eventually you'll be living together anyway, so you're going to have to adapt to it at some point.
People also have a slight misconception about love that leads to certain problems to--thinking that you fall in love. You don't. Never. You grow into it. In a relationship, you grow together, and mature. You learn, you change, and adapt. If that person really means everything to you, you'll learn soon enough both sides have to give. Both sides have to sacrifice a little of themselves for the other. You have to compromise, ect....
All of this has been said, of course, but I just had to say something...because I'm annoying that way. *shrugs*
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Let me be surprised!
Date: 2005-02-18 03:53 am (UTC)But sadly, some men just don't get it. Everything else is pretty true, though. It takes communication and working things out...but a surprise once in a while is nice too. And I'll laugh at anyone who tells me that's just the "honeymoon" phase type of thing to do.
I knew people who had four kids, married for ages...and the husband would still surprise his wife with something from time to time, and she'd do things for him too. They were so...loving. X__X Really. He'd give her massages, and she baked for him. *sigh* So wonderful. They had their ups and downs, of course--almost wanted a divorce at one point--but they stuck it out through everything together, and are currently still very happy.
People do need space, I won't argue with that. Space once in a while can make a huge difference, but it takes dedication and strength to maintain any relationship. Distance isn't always the answer, because if you're serious about each other, eventually you'll be living together anyway, so you're going to have to adapt to it at some point.
People also have a slight misconception about love that leads to certain problems to--thinking that you fall in love. You don't. Never. You grow into it. In a relationship, you grow together, and mature. You learn, you change, and adapt. If that person really means everything to you, you'll learn soon enough both sides have to give. Both sides have to sacrifice a little of themselves for the other. You have to compromise, ect....
All of this has been said, of course, but I just had to say something...because I'm annoying that way. *shrugs*