Out of the fire and into the frying pan

Okay, for those of you interested in the ever-lasting fanfiction that is my life (better than the O.C!) here's an update-- so yesterday afternoon I decided on my walk home that it was pointless to keep fretting, wondering what I'd done wrong the night before to trigger Scott into not talking to me at all. I remembered Super Sailor Moon's words from the Super movie (don't laugh, Sailor Moon is my hero!): "We fall in love, our hearts may break... we lose sleep yearning for the one we love. There are many sad and painful times like that, but those are what remind us we're alive!" And you know what? It's all true.

I figured my energy would be better put to making Mamono's mood set, fixing my various layouts (and on the subject of my LJ layout, I've gotten nil help from pamelajoy or opal_help, so what I plan to do is just re-download the Opalish layer script again and just edit ONLY the colors, userpics, and text boxes for my settings. Hopefully then I can figure out where I went wrong. As far as I know, I still have the code Mamono sent me for having a header image! ^_^

And now, a question for Yu-Gi-Oh buffs:When did the Movie "Pyramid of Light" take place? I've been contemplating this for a while. Here are some Waking the Dragons/Movie spoilers to help you decide whether my conclusion is logical or not... ( It's time to D-D-Duel! )

Anyway, back to the good stuff-- I've gotta type fast since I have to get to school for the ETS testing. Scott came home in the afternoon and again, didn't speak to me for a while... and then he came up to me and said flat out, "Wanna go for a walk?" It's one of those harmless phrases that is about as loaded as a gun, sort of like "We need to talk." I mean, that was essentially what he was saying, and despite it being phrased as question, we all know it really wasn't.

So we walked-- we started walking down Wystone and around until we got back up to Donna and back to Ballinger. We talked the whole way there, though throughout the whole long time (it must have been at least an hour, despite the short walk, because we went into the backyard and then the garage afterward, and that seemed to last forever) only a few things really came across to me:
* It wasn't me being late that bothered him, it was just the trigger that pulled the gun and shot him
* As rivingmass so noted, I'd need my tears for later, as there was something much bigger than slight tardiness bugging Scott. Turned out that school plus work plus whatever else was compiling onto Scott, stressing him out in ways I couldn't see or even begin to imagine. So me being late was just one of those dumb little things that reminded him of why a relationship on top of everything else is adding to the stress and overwhelming him to a breaking point.
* He wasn't happy. Just that, he wasn't happy. Ouch.
* He didn't know what to do, and that was what was bothering him. I knew he didn't have classes that day, so I wondered where he'd gone-- did he have any prints to develop? (Not that I knew of) What, then? He just "went for a drive" that lasted a few hours and went who-knows-where, and when he finally came home, problem STILL not solved. I'm glad he decided to talk to me, but I'm still not sure if we worked anything out.

For the record, I cried, and I cried a lot. I hate it, but I also hate lying or pretending I'm some perfect, super-strong, grrl-powered girlfriend. I'm not, and at least one person reading this can attest to that. I almost left once, because I didn't know what to do either, and I wasn't about to sit there and keep crying. But for once, Scott did what I wanted him to do-- and he called me back. He didn't get up and grab my wrist, but he said my name, and he made a good point, so I stayed.

I'm still not sure how much is resolved, but we're at least back to being affectionate and somewhat open with one another. Despite my first efforts of telling him when he hurt my feelings and why, and asking him what he was thinking (instead of guessing and probably jumping to conclusions) not working out in my favor, we both still think they're a good idea. And yes, while I don't like that the emotions I've been asking to see "all this time" on Scott's face are of a negative flavor, something's better than nothing, and this is life.

Solutions don't always present themselves readily, and I have to understand that. There's a lot of me that needs to learn and change to make this relationship work, and hell if I'm not determined! So... yeah. Scott's in San Diego for today, and then we have a few days together before he heads to Thailand. We might (hopefully) meet in Tokyo before he goes back to Los Angeles, and then... hopefully everything will find a way to sort itself out, according to how "things" should be. I make my own destiny, thank you very much.

Here I go! Look out, world!


And as a final note, look what I got via Yahoo Messenger today:
hi. i have an idea for a story that you might like.  its about yami,bakura,and joey being bloodthirsty vampires.  joey sends yami and bakura to find mai and bring her back to him but the gang tries to prevent it.  and has to sacrifice anzu to yami, and ryou to bakura.  seto isn't the story but is reffered as choas master metioned a few times.  yugi is known as angel desendants and so is ryou.  joey is the big headed guy thats the leader with yami and bakura  as his henchmen to get mai.  if you like the outline email me i'm only 14 and a major fan of your fanfics bye

Heee heee!

Read the fine print.

LOL. I grinned rather hugely when I saw this fine print on my "release and assumption of risk" form for my trip to Japan:

"I understand and agree that during the tour...under the arrangements of H.I.S. International Tours (L.A.), Inc. and its agencies, employees, associates, affiliated companies, or subcontractors, certain risks and dangers may arise including, but not limited to acts of God, the hazards of traveling in unsafe or politically unstable areas..."

Godisnowhere. Hehe.

Oh, by the by, the computer literacy test was amazingly easy, and only took me an hour and forty-five minutes, as opposed to the allotted three hours. I didn't have any computer-related problems at all, and the scenarios were both realistic and challenging. I had fun! I'll get a gift certificate by the end of the week, and *crosses fingers* hopefully, an iPod! ^_^ The winners should be announced on the library website when they're all done with testing, which will probably be next month.

What else? Ah yes, I finally finished the long overdue present for Mamono. But this wasn't a birthday present, I think it was a Christmas present. o_O In any case, it's long overdue, as I said. Hopefully she'll like it, and until she says anything about it one way or the other, my lips are sealed... I already sent it, so we'll just have to wait and see her reaction, ne?

It's odd how Photoshop-py I was today-- while working on The Present, I also made a few icons... which I may get around to posting in ygo_icons, if I ever get the guts. Maybe I should make a few more while I'm at it. InternetBumperStickers.com, here I come!

Find out what your Duel Monsters card identity is! It's quite funny, actually.

I'm either "Creature Girl Unit" (hey that sounds kinda cool) or "Flame Grottosnapesnatch." No, they aren't real, but it's fun to see the possible combinations. Try it with your name/aliases!

Also, some interesting things re: writing--
* I actually challenged Scott. He's going to take a picture, and I'll turn it into a story of 1000 words. I suppose I'll post the result here, once he takes a picture. I wonder what picture he'll choose? (Or will he forget?)
* While working on The Present, I was browsing through Kokoro no Naka and I actually got extra inspiration for not just icons, but fics! Namely, Death and Absolution, which I was sporadically working on ANYWAY! Considering it's far less intimidating than WDKY16 at this point, I'm more likely to work on it, too.

My to-do list for tomorrow:
* Fix my LJ layout
* Get a few updated sites live, or at least their layouts partially coded
* Work on any and all homework, including the progress report for my term project in Journalism
* Study for my Sociology midterm!
* If I can't figure it out now, find out why the heck the new version of BitTorrent doesn't want to let me resume my downloads of Sailor Moon, Peach Girl (Taiwan Drama), and Sailor Stars, Pack 1. Where should I save the *.torrent file, and which directory should I specify (and how) in order to get it to restart again?