Paranoia Max

Gah. Okay, so yesterday was pretty fun, full report later... but after the whole yay with the fun and the fireworks and the rah rah rah, and Mike and I are heading home, he says to me on the bus to remind him of something he's going to tell me later. And he's going to tell me online (always better than in person or on the phone, right?) ... but what?

What couldn't he have told me in person? To quote Luke Skywalker and countless others, "I have a bad feeling about this."

Well... Nothing to lose by trying (I hope), right? *opens Trillian* Let's do this.

No, I did NOT have a good weekend

Okay, so the 4th of July wasn't all that. But any time you have expectations about something, they always fall through the floor. If you imagine a scenario panning out a certain way, it's almost guaranteed to happen differently, just because that's the way life works out.

Maybe I don't have a sense of humor as I should, or maybe I'm just hard-headed. I can't take so-called "constructive criticism" when it isn't put into a tactful manner. I know, I know, I myself am far from tactful and pleasant in such matters, but why is it that people I thought were my own friends take license to insult me and hurt my feelings? Do they not even care or notice?

I'm not even sure if I can recall all that much since I might be glossing over it. Well, I'll try to start from the beginning.

( I bet half the people just came for the explosions. )

So, if it's not enough to feel sad, lonely, and depressed, I still feel guilty, dirty, and generally upset. No one seems to care about anything or anyone anymore-- and there's still loads of drama. Maybe Will's right, and none of us really have changed. He didn't even talk to me yesterday. Barely anyone did...

I hate the summer. I hate July, and I'm beginning to remember why I hated San Francisco so much that I decided to move in the first place. Well, come July 23rd or so, I will be going. Leaving, good, gone, kaput. And maybe some people will miss me, and maybe some won't. Some people don't even seem to know I'm leaving, no matter how many times I've said it. I don't even know if I should bother with a going-away party...

I am going to have a bonfire, though. That's final-- July 16th sounds like a good date. Come burn stuff on the beach with me.

Anyway, I have to get back to my pathetic online life... lots of fics to write, files to burn to CD, a room to clean, and dishes to do. RAAAAH!