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Inexplicable
Jul. 24th, 2003 04:41 pmIt feels like it's been a while since I've been online and everything, but really, it hasn't. I guess one day just feels like forever to me. =P It's weird to stay up all night on the Internet, getting backaches over something my mom doesn't seem to carr about... go to sleep by the time she leaves.
~_~ Last night I went to bed at 8:30. I woke up again at 12:30, my mind abuzz with Star Ocean... so I went out to the living room and started to play one of my old files. Got pretty far-- went all the way through Eluria Tower up to Central City in Nede. But I don't get why I always have to restart my PSX when you 'insert disc 2.' Finally went to bed around 7:30, after reading about 60 chapters (the chapters are only 2-3 pages long) of "The Lake House," this cool book I got from the online book club I'm in, "Book Divas." =D And it's a great book, even if the tense shifts are a little confusing.
Jonathan came over yesterday-- we tried playing "Trivial Pusuit" for a while ("Genius competition," I call it) but that sort of bombed, since the edition we played is older than we are. -.- I won the "first to get to 3 pieces" anyway, but maybe it was just luck-- and I kept getting easier questions. =P
But the thing yesterday was, and still is, really, I guess, is that I can't get Jonathan to talk. Sometimes, out of nowhere, I'll bring something up, and it'll spur a conversation-- or a short blurb, anyway. Like I got out my old yearbooks and poked fun at Jonathan and how downright ADORABLE he was in Freshman year. Then, since I remembered he went to Presidio, I figured I'd look in those yearbooks-- of course, I looked downright STUPID in most of them, and we had a laughing tussle over whether he'd get to see them or not. o_O But, fast forwarding, it came down to me being ubernice, respectful, and complimentary to HIM, but getting jack squat in return. Like, I'm pretty proud of how "photogenic" I used to be, WAAAY the hell back when I was "cute and adorable," and Jonathan said I wasn't now. So I kept prying to find out just what he DID think of me now, and of course, the longer I waited and the more silent he stayed, the more it hurt. I really thought he'd started thinking like those other @$$holes that'd been in ROTC with us-- that I was some ugly, evil, power-trippy, overemotional bitch. And that was obviously not what I wanted.
This put a crimp in things for the rest of the evening. Mom came home and wanted me to go grocery shopping (actually, I'd agreed to it over the phone, since she said he leg was hurting anyway). Since Safeway's on the way to Jonathan's house, I figured he'd just go home on the way to Safeway, so I wanted him to just hurry up and say SOMETHING before he left. I ended up telling his fortune with Tarot cards-- and he wasn't treating it like a joke, which is a good thing, because when you treat Tarot like a joke, it makes a joke out of you. I've noticed that a lot.
Anyway, so I told him to focus on a question, shuffle and cut the deck however he wanted, and so forth. I finally dealt his hand, and though it'd been a while since I'd used the Cards, and I still had to use my book, the cards struck me as making sense-- at least for the current "uncomfy" situation we were in. Of course, I never know what the question is, but I figured it had something to do with our slight fight from the hour or so before.
Basically, the cards told him that he had issues communicating, and that he had to take a more enthusiastic approach towards being honest and open with people, or he would have a drastic loss. Likewise, the cards told him that he was in the midst of forging some sort of relationship with someone who was enthusiastic and honest, but could tend to be (or could become) forceful. Said person would betray Jonathan's trust if s/he didn't get the honesty and openness s/he desired. ^^;; Well, I guess that really made him think, because he finally started talking (albeit stressed, and it was blatantly obvious, too) to me... took him forever to really get one point across "I was surprsied," in reference to my liking him, wanting to go out with him, etc. And then, finally, on our way to Safeway, he said he thought I was pretty.
I don't know why that really felt forced to me. So I came home, sad. And that's it.
Got reviews from people for DD5, which I always enjoy-- several return readers! =D Part 6 will be on its way eventually... but I do have a Final in Japanese class in a few hours, and dishes that I haven't done, that will have to remain neglected until I get back. And maybe if I get to CCSF early enough, I can talk to the Transfer Counselor about those credits. o_O I better go now, before I'm late(r).
~_~ Last night I went to bed at 8:30. I woke up again at 12:30, my mind abuzz with Star Ocean... so I went out to the living room and started to play one of my old files. Got pretty far-- went all the way through Eluria Tower up to Central City in Nede. But I don't get why I always have to restart my PSX when you 'insert disc 2.' Finally went to bed around 7:30, after reading about 60 chapters (the chapters are only 2-3 pages long) of "The Lake House," this cool book I got from the online book club I'm in, "Book Divas." =D And it's a great book, even if the tense shifts are a little confusing.
Jonathan came over yesterday-- we tried playing "Trivial Pusuit" for a while ("Genius competition," I call it) but that sort of bombed, since the edition we played is older than we are. -.- I won the "first to get to 3 pieces" anyway, but maybe it was just luck-- and I kept getting easier questions. =P
But the thing yesterday was, and still is, really, I guess, is that I can't get Jonathan to talk. Sometimes, out of nowhere, I'll bring something up, and it'll spur a conversation-- or a short blurb, anyway. Like I got out my old yearbooks and poked fun at Jonathan and how downright ADORABLE he was in Freshman year. Then, since I remembered he went to Presidio, I figured I'd look in those yearbooks-- of course, I looked downright STUPID in most of them, and we had a laughing tussle over whether he'd get to see them or not. o_O But, fast forwarding, it came down to me being ubernice, respectful, and complimentary to HIM, but getting jack squat in return. Like, I'm pretty proud of how "photogenic" I used to be, WAAAY the hell back when I was "cute and adorable," and Jonathan said I wasn't now. So I kept prying to find out just what he DID think of me now, and of course, the longer I waited and the more silent he stayed, the more it hurt. I really thought he'd started thinking like those other @$$holes that'd been in ROTC with us-- that I was some ugly, evil, power-trippy, overemotional bitch. And that was obviously not what I wanted.
This put a crimp in things for the rest of the evening. Mom came home and wanted me to go grocery shopping (actually, I'd agreed to it over the phone, since she said he leg was hurting anyway). Since Safeway's on the way to Jonathan's house, I figured he'd just go home on the way to Safeway, so I wanted him to just hurry up and say SOMETHING before he left. I ended up telling his fortune with Tarot cards-- and he wasn't treating it like a joke, which is a good thing, because when you treat Tarot like a joke, it makes a joke out of you. I've noticed that a lot.
Anyway, so I told him to focus on a question, shuffle and cut the deck however he wanted, and so forth. I finally dealt his hand, and though it'd been a while since I'd used the Cards, and I still had to use my book, the cards struck me as making sense-- at least for the current "uncomfy" situation we were in. Of course, I never know what the question is, but I figured it had something to do with our slight fight from the hour or so before.
Basically, the cards told him that he had issues communicating, and that he had to take a more enthusiastic approach towards being honest and open with people, or he would have a drastic loss. Likewise, the cards told him that he was in the midst of forging some sort of relationship with someone who was enthusiastic and honest, but could tend to be (or could become) forceful. Said person would betray Jonathan's trust if s/he didn't get the honesty and openness s/he desired. ^^;; Well, I guess that really made him think, because he finally started talking (albeit stressed, and it was blatantly obvious, too) to me... took him forever to really get one point across "I was surprsied," in reference to my liking him, wanting to go out with him, etc. And then, finally, on our way to Safeway, he said he thought I was pretty.
I don't know why that really felt forced to me. So I came home, sad. And that's it.
Got reviews from people for DD5, which I always enjoy-- several return readers! =D Part 6 will be on its way eventually... but I do have a Final in Japanese class in a few hours, and dishes that I haven't done, that will have to remain neglected until I get back. And maybe if I get to CCSF early enough, I can talk to the Transfer Counselor about those credits. o_O I better go now, before I'm late(r).
