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It must be gang-up-on-Mer night
Mar. 10th, 2003 01:20 amI hate this. My day was going so well. I was absorbed in Star Ocean, doing really well... but then those stupid Lesserdevils ganged up on me while I was figuring out the puzzle on Level 4, and even though I brought Rena back to life, I was still 'destroyed.' So now I have to go all over again and beat the Level 3 boss (not that hard) and go all the way through Level 4. *sigh* Damnit. Cidolfas' map wasn't clear enough, and his directions were wrong. Worse my printer screwed up printing... so everything is all smudged.
Shawn (from NJ) started talking to me, and we ended up getting into this huge argument. I still feel bad about it, though part of me insists I shouldn't. He was saying something about he'd been talking to Dave (Mike's brother) and had heard somehow that Mike was bashing Shawn and two of his friends, along with two other friends of these friends. Confusing, no? Well I said so, and Shawn just didn't get it-- I was trying to say -politely- that I didn't think what he was saying was any of my business, I didn't know how to reply, and, since I hadn't been there and therefore hadn't WITNESSED anything, I couldn't make a judgment. If there was anything Mike's being here taught me, it's that being judgmental FUCKS YOU UP. I've been trying as hard as I consciously can not to assume so much, to leap to conclusions, or to believe everything someone tells me. I don't know Shawn in real life, and despite Mike having bashed him, I've still enjoyed having conversations with him. But there is the matter of him being in NJ, so there's a time difference... not to mention the fact that I'm busy a lot during the week, and aren't on as much as he is. As far as I know, he's not going to college or anything, but he does do work that takes him places... But he's not on Alert on my Buddy List, and once I get online, I minimize the window and leave it at that. People can IM me if they want, but I'm not one to strike up a conversation unless there's a pressing matter, or it's someone I haven't talked to in a while. Anyway, so he kept saying stuff like I never say anything. I told him I didn't want to take sides, so if I didn't respond to something he said, it was because it made me uncomfortable, upset, or I didn't think it was my business. In this instance, I was honest about being confused, and I told him that I didn't think it was my place to say anything-- not about Mike, and not TO Mike, even though Shawn told me that Mike's smack-talking will get him shot one day. Somehow I want to believe he's exaggerating-- after all, if I actually told Mike any of this, he'd probably brush it off. Maybe he'd tell me not to believe everything I hear, that since I'm not there, I shouldn't be involved in his personal matters. And all of that is right. I'm NOT there, I don't WANT to be right now, and it's NOT my business. I hate the fact that this resulted in Shawn being so angry with me, and me blocking him out of frustration. I'll probably unblock him later on. Maybe. He thinks he knows me just by reading my journal-- he says that whenever I mention Mike, it's like I want to curl up beside him.
*deadpan stare* Fucking bullshit! I'm sorry for being impolite right there, but his saying that REALLY pissed me off. In the past god-knows-how-many months, how many times have I mentioned Mike? Twice? Maybe three times? Has it ever sounded like to anyone else that I wanted to "curl up next to him!?" I think when I actually said more than a paragraph about him, I was commenting on a) how surprised I was that he called me, and b) how he better not snore if he comes to Fanime with us. I don't see anything that implies I want to "curl up" with him. Feh. He's just a friend now, one that I don't even talk to all that much. We have different lives, in different timezones. I'd rather I not get involved with his, and he's better off not getting involved in mine. Talks and advice are one thing-- trying to influence action or emotion... that's something else.
*sigh* And I told Rochelle about dinner tomorrow night with Joe (which is still up in the air, as far as I know, because I haven't really talked to him about it, and I have the sinking sensation that I'm forgetting something I have to do) and she was like "WHY!?" I explained to her that it had been very awkward seeing him at stuff (like FX or RTA) and not talking to him. Unlike the whole shpeil with my dad, with Joe I remember with amazing clarity why we stopped speaking, and why we broke apart. But at least with Joe, I don't HATE him. I don't think I really hate my Dad either... and it's kinda disturbing how I found a parallel between the two. Ugh. In any case, Rochelle said something that really shocked me... that seemed out of place for her, and out of context for the whole situation. It was really surprising, since I hadn't implied that anything was going to come out of simply having dinner with him (it won't go anywhere. I won't let it), and here she was leaping off to some conclusion somewhere in Australia! yeesh. So now I'm all restless (maybe it was the iced tea) and upset from all this.
On a completely different topic, fanfiction is getting worse. I actually bothered to check out adultfanfiction.net tonight, and it's crappy as hell. I thought AFFnet was run by the same people at FFnet, but under a cloak of 'secrecy,' where they wouldn't broadcast it on FFnet, but they'd still get the audience they had when NC17 fics were allowed. NOT! It's someone totally different. The webdesign sucks, there's very few, if any anime/manga related fics, and those that are there are downright ridiculous. You know, like the hentais written by 12 year olds... or 40 year old virgin men with nothing better to do than watch anime and jack off. Yuck. Disgusting thought. It's just disappointing. As weird as it sounds, it takes a lot of skill to write a good hentai... like those lemon chapters of "Turnabout is Fair Play" by Ookami-chan. Or that Yu-Gi-Oh fic by Quickening. THOSE were good. Not too graphic, not too ridiculous. True to the story. There's nothing more that I hate than stories that are so far off from the canon, they don't even bother to explain themselves. Haha, here's me lecturing about hentai fics when I used to be such a puritan about them. I bet I could probably write a damn good one now if I tried. But I think I'd shock too many of my younger viewers... and I know I have some.
But in terms of normal fanfiction, people are getting lazy with their titles and summaries. I'm not as harsh as some other people-- I believe in the phrase, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." The exception to that rule is when I discover someone's pirated a friend's fic-- then I'm a bitch. But if I hate a fic, I probably won't review it-- that is to say, if I even finish it. That's not true for ALL the fics I read... sometimes I just don't have the time or the words to review something. I usually review fics when I'm highly intrigued, or when it's by an author I love. But when it comes to normal fics, the following things annoy the crap out of me:
* bad spelling/gramar: use a damn checker, people!
* lame titles/summaries: why should I read your fic?
* terrible formatting: augh... can't read... no... spacing...
* ridiculous plots: uhm, sorry to burst your bubble, but sesshomaru and kagome will NEVER get together...
* overdone storylines: hey, wasn't that one already written about 1,000,000x over?!
You get the point. I have maybe 25 favorite fics on my list at FFnet. I know the max for free accounts is 30, but if I honestly liked every other fic I came across, I'd be way over my limit, and I'd be keeping a separate list on my webpage. But I'm not. High quality stuff is hard to find these days. I really should get that fic guide back up and running again. It'd be really nice if the old list, Lunar Chronicles, was still around, because I remember those as being a source of inspiration and motivation for me when I started writing. The support of my "onee-chans" like Ely and Stef encouraged me to join the bandwagon on one of the largest Sailor Moon fanfiction MLs on the 'Net, and now I'm a Mod! Admittedly, I don't write as often as I used to, but I still love the series, and amazingly, I still have a fanbase! Sailor Moon's been around for over 10 years now! YAY! I'm proud to still be going strong-- I'll be an otaku, just like my sisters, when I get married! Nyaha!
All that SMRFF talk has made me feel mooches better. Or maybe it's this relaxing music... Mm... *sways* Yeah. So I'm logging for the night, after maybe hunting down some more good Inuyasha fanfics. Either that or Ranma. Or Peach Girl. Hmm.
Shawn (from NJ) started talking to me, and we ended up getting into this huge argument. I still feel bad about it, though part of me insists I shouldn't. He was saying something about he'd been talking to Dave (Mike's brother) and had heard somehow that Mike was bashing Shawn and two of his friends, along with two other friends of these friends. Confusing, no? Well I said so, and Shawn just didn't get it-- I was trying to say -politely- that I didn't think what he was saying was any of my business, I didn't know how to reply, and, since I hadn't been there and therefore hadn't WITNESSED anything, I couldn't make a judgment. If there was anything Mike's being here taught me, it's that being judgmental FUCKS YOU UP. I've been trying as hard as I consciously can not to assume so much, to leap to conclusions, or to believe everything someone tells me. I don't know Shawn in real life, and despite Mike having bashed him, I've still enjoyed having conversations with him. But there is the matter of him being in NJ, so there's a time difference... not to mention the fact that I'm busy a lot during the week, and aren't on as much as he is. As far as I know, he's not going to college or anything, but he does do work that takes him places... But he's not on Alert on my Buddy List, and once I get online, I minimize the window and leave it at that. People can IM me if they want, but I'm not one to strike up a conversation unless there's a pressing matter, or it's someone I haven't talked to in a while. Anyway, so he kept saying stuff like I never say anything. I told him I didn't want to take sides, so if I didn't respond to something he said, it was because it made me uncomfortable, upset, or I didn't think it was my business. In this instance, I was honest about being confused, and I told him that I didn't think it was my place to say anything-- not about Mike, and not TO Mike, even though Shawn told me that Mike's smack-talking will get him shot one day. Somehow I want to believe he's exaggerating-- after all, if I actually told Mike any of this, he'd probably brush it off. Maybe he'd tell me not to believe everything I hear, that since I'm not there, I shouldn't be involved in his personal matters. And all of that is right. I'm NOT there, I don't WANT to be right now, and it's NOT my business. I hate the fact that this resulted in Shawn being so angry with me, and me blocking him out of frustration. I'll probably unblock him later on. Maybe. He thinks he knows me just by reading my journal-- he says that whenever I mention Mike, it's like I want to curl up beside him.
*deadpan stare* Fucking bullshit! I'm sorry for being impolite right there, but his saying that REALLY pissed me off. In the past god-knows-how-many months, how many times have I mentioned Mike? Twice? Maybe three times? Has it ever sounded like to anyone else that I wanted to "curl up next to him!?" I think when I actually said more than a paragraph about him, I was commenting on a) how surprised I was that he called me, and b) how he better not snore if he comes to Fanime with us. I don't see anything that implies I want to "curl up" with him. Feh. He's just a friend now, one that I don't even talk to all that much. We have different lives, in different timezones. I'd rather I not get involved with his, and he's better off not getting involved in mine. Talks and advice are one thing-- trying to influence action or emotion... that's something else.
*sigh* And I told Rochelle about dinner tomorrow night with Joe (which is still up in the air, as far as I know, because I haven't really talked to him about it, and I have the sinking sensation that I'm forgetting something I have to do) and she was like "WHY!?" I explained to her that it had been very awkward seeing him at stuff (like FX or RTA) and not talking to him. Unlike the whole shpeil with my dad, with Joe I remember with amazing clarity why we stopped speaking, and why we broke apart. But at least with Joe, I don't HATE him. I don't think I really hate my Dad either... and it's kinda disturbing how I found a parallel between the two. Ugh. In any case, Rochelle said something that really shocked me... that seemed out of place for her, and out of context for the whole situation. It was really surprising, since I hadn't implied that anything was going to come out of simply having dinner with him (it won't go anywhere. I won't let it), and here she was leaping off to some conclusion somewhere in Australia! yeesh. So now I'm all restless (maybe it was the iced tea) and upset from all this.
On a completely different topic, fanfiction is getting worse. I actually bothered to check out adultfanfiction.net tonight, and it's crappy as hell. I thought AFFnet was run by the same people at FFnet, but under a cloak of 'secrecy,' where they wouldn't broadcast it on FFnet, but they'd still get the audience they had when NC17 fics were allowed. NOT! It's someone totally different. The webdesign sucks, there's very few, if any anime/manga related fics, and those that are there are downright ridiculous. You know, like the hentais written by 12 year olds... or 40 year old virgin men with nothing better to do than watch anime and jack off. Yuck. Disgusting thought. It's just disappointing. As weird as it sounds, it takes a lot of skill to write a good hentai... like those lemon chapters of "Turnabout is Fair Play" by Ookami-chan. Or that Yu-Gi-Oh fic by Quickening. THOSE were good. Not too graphic, not too ridiculous. True to the story. There's nothing more that I hate than stories that are so far off from the canon, they don't even bother to explain themselves. Haha, here's me lecturing about hentai fics when I used to be such a puritan about them. I bet I could probably write a damn good one now if I tried. But I think I'd shock too many of my younger viewers... and I know I have some.
But in terms of normal fanfiction, people are getting lazy with their titles and summaries. I'm not as harsh as some other people-- I believe in the phrase, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." The exception to that rule is when I discover someone's pirated a friend's fic-- then I'm a bitch. But if I hate a fic, I probably won't review it-- that is to say, if I even finish it. That's not true for ALL the fics I read... sometimes I just don't have the time or the words to review something. I usually review fics when I'm highly intrigued, or when it's by an author I love. But when it comes to normal fics, the following things annoy the crap out of me:
* bad spelling/gramar: use a damn checker, people!
* lame titles/summaries: why should I read your fic?
* terrible formatting: augh... can't read... no... spacing...
* ridiculous plots: uhm, sorry to burst your bubble, but sesshomaru and kagome will NEVER get together...
* overdone storylines: hey, wasn't that one already written about 1,000,000x over?!
You get the point. I have maybe 25 favorite fics on my list at FFnet. I know the max for free accounts is 30, but if I honestly liked every other fic I came across, I'd be way over my limit, and I'd be keeping a separate list on my webpage. But I'm not. High quality stuff is hard to find these days. I really should get that fic guide back up and running again. It'd be really nice if the old list, Lunar Chronicles, was still around, because I remember those as being a source of inspiration and motivation for me when I started writing. The support of my "onee-chans" like Ely and Stef encouraged me to join the bandwagon on one of the largest Sailor Moon fanfiction MLs on the 'Net, and now I'm a Mod! Admittedly, I don't write as often as I used to, but I still love the series, and amazingly, I still have a fanbase! Sailor Moon's been around for over 10 years now! YAY! I'm proud to still be going strong-- I'll be an otaku, just like my sisters, when I get married! Nyaha!
All that SMRFF talk has made me feel mooches better. Or maybe it's this relaxing music... Mm... *sways* Yeah. So I'm logging for the night, after maybe hunting down some more good Inuyasha fanfics. Either that or Ranma. Or Peach Girl. Hmm.
